The Healing Process
by thestupidgenius1123
Summary: "He was safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me… And I knew that, too, without even having to ask." Book 2.5 of the Risks Trilogy. After Choices. Mild M. For FaxFiction and Nola96.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for Nola96 and FaxFiction. Nola96 because she repeatedly said she wanted M material from me, and since I don't have any straight-up juicy lemons to publish yet this is what she gets to read while she waits. Every steaming scene in this story is for her. FaxFiction because she finally sparked an idea in my brain for a quasi-story (even if it is a quasi-story set in the Trilogy-world, which I was trying to stop adding to). This idea is the only one I was able to roll with, and I feel like it was something that should have made it into the Trilogy, anyways. I don't really remember why it didn't. I only have a few deleted "scenes" you guys didn't get from the Trilogy that I still haven't shown anyone, but this one in particular never got much love. **

**For **_**Risks**_**, I have the 24 hours after the explosion. Including Max dealing with cops, scientists, registering Maya's death, and getting herself and the flock focused on the future. **

**For **_**Choices**_**, I have this fledgling of an idea, which has now expanded into a full-blown "novella," if you will, thanks to FaxFiction's encouragement. Other than that, I have the first time Aaron met Angel and a sibling one-shot between Emma and Fang. **

**There's a whole **_**ton of ideas **_**jotted down concerning the deleted scenes from **_**Consequences **_**(since I really had to pick and choose which memories to put in that one), ranging from their stillborn daughter's birth to the Gemma wedding. Sadly, nothing about the new baby made the cut (SORRY). **

**Anyways, who knows if those things will ever make publication? I'll probably keep them around, play with them when I don't have enough functioning brain matter to develop new story lines. That's exactly what I did with this one, and now I'm updating something! Woo!**

**Basically, this is right after **_**Choices**_**. It'll only be a couple chapters (hopefully). It shows more of Fang's healing process. I know I kind of left a lot of that out. **

**[Summary: "He **_**was **_**safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me… And I knew that, too, without even having to ask." Book 2.5 of the **_**Risks **_**Trilogy. After **_**Choices**_**. M.]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. All rights go to James Patterson, the genius himself. **

**NOTE: Must read AT LEAST **_**Risks **_**and **_**Choices **_**first. **_**Consequences **_**is optional. **

**NOTE: SPOILERS for the **_**Risks **_**Trilogy. **

**HEY GUYS, ONE MORE THING: PLEASE tell me if you want to see anything specific. **

MAX

"Fang?"

It's groggy, and it's the best I can manage in the morning. I sound like sleep itself. I probably look like it, too. I shift, feel the sheets on my skin, and pause to wonder when exactly during the night I ditched my shorts.

And then I can remember, just barely. Fang leaving our dream, so suddenly I didn't even notice until I realized he wasn't answering me. Fang, being _stolen _from my dream. Then I'd woken up, too, only to feel him rigid beneath me, his teeth gritted as he suffered something in his sleep. With one touch to his shoulder, he shot awake, gasping, making choking noises, and I whispered, "It's okay, Fang-" only once before he rolled over onto me and, still showing the pain on his face, kissed me.

He wasn't himself, not then. But he still pushed down my shorts and took me, kissing me with desperation. I was on the brink of consciousness and he was on the brink of insanity, desperate for some kind of anchor to the real world. _She's gone, you're safe, it's okay_… All things I mumbled while he took it out on me. It didn't hurt, not unbearably, but we hadn't done anything since that first time and it had been weeks and he'd kind of taken me by surprise (no pun intended, but seriously). I can't say it felt very _orgasmic_. …At first.

About around the time it started feeling pleasant, I realized what had happened and started crying. She'd taken him. The memories of her, of that place, had taken him from our dream. Our one escape from the real world, and even there he wasn't safe.

He'd realized this, too, and was terrified. I could feel it.

I hated her then, Fang's mother. Hated her more than I've ever hated anything.

"Fang," I gasped, reaching for him. "Fang, harder."

Not because I wanted it that way, because I honestly had _no idea _if I wanted it that way. But I knew he needed it that way, and so I begged him for it, cooed it in his ear until he gave in and gripped my wrists and _hurt _me, but in a really, really good way.

By then I was finally awake, finally aware of all my senses, and I realized consciously this time that he was afraid of it. Afraid of his own mind, how he couldn't control his fear anymore. How everything reminded him of the last two years, and nothing about this world was safe.

I couldn't hold him with my hands, couldn't move my arms at all, so my legs twisted around him, kicking off the blankets as they did. "I love you," I rasped, now feeling _really _good, holding him as hard as I could with my thighs. "You're _mine_, Fang. Nothing can take you from me. You're safe now."

He _was _safe, I knew he was. But he didn't believe me.

And I knew that, too, without even having to ask.

I blink again against the light of the sun shining through the window and sit up, automatically feeling the event's of last night take their toll on my muscles. It hadn't even been two in the morning, and I can bet at least one other person had still been awake, fighting sleep (or fighting _for _sleep, judging on the individual). Whoever it was, I hope they had ignored the rhythmic sounds emanating from our room and just pretended it was the wind or something.

After further inspection of our room, I realize that Fang is in the doorway, watching me. He's just gotten out of the shower, and his hair is still pretty wet. I shift, sit up, and wince. _Ouch. _

He notices and his eyes flash.

"Well, you sure showed me," I say, aiming for our normal, adorable banter.

He doesn't say anything and my heart constricts.

"Fang?"

"I'm going out," he says softly.

I get out of bed then, just wearing my shirt. Fang's eyes squint at me, pain in his eyes. "Put on some shorts, Max."

Okay, that hurts. I open my mouth to answer, then reach down and grab my shorts, yanking them on.

"I need to shower anyways. Have fun."

I don't want to do this. I don't want to struggle with him, or battle with him. I don't want to respond to his coldness with more coldness, because it will not fix anything.

But treating me that way after what we just did hurts and he doesn't get a free pass to be an asshole just because…

Okay, maybe he should have a free pass. But at the moment, I can't ignore my feelings. So strip and turn on the shower, allowing the water to heat up. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

The bruises are a surprise.

I guess it had been my insides that had registered first. The soreness _inside_. Earlier, I hadn't realized that my thighs were tinted purple with bruises, as were my wrists, where Fang had pinned me.

Anyways. It only takes a second.

I won't call him bipolar, because it isn't really like that. I mean, yeah, it'll take me by surprise, sometimes, but usually I can see it happening. I can see his eyes darken, his shoulders tense, his mind shut me out. A word in a conversation, a certain kind of touch, and too-long lapse of silence, and _bam! _He'll be back, back in that hell of a place, chained and hurt and alone. It only takes a second.

Sometimes, I feel like I can't help him and I hate myself for it. Sometimes, I feel like I can help him…and then it ends up not helping at all.

Really, it's up to him. Whether he has a good day or a bad day is up to him and his subconscious. I don't know what else to do except wait for him to work it out himself.

I step out of the shower and get dressed sluggishly. After that, I head into the kitchen, grab my cell phone from the counter, and call Aaron.

"He there?" I ask, pouring myself coffee.

"What?" Aaron answers, still sleeping. I can tell from his voice. "Fang? No."

"Guessing you didn't invite him over?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"No. Why?"

"Nothing," I sigh. "Nevermind."

I remember those first hours after finding Fang with Evelyn. Remember Nudge calling 911, remember dealing with the police. Watching them cart away Evelyn and Dylan. Then watching paramedics take Fang.

After I dealt with the police, I met the others at the hospital where they'd taken Fang for tests. The doctors said there wasn't much physical damage, besides some cracked ribs, dehydration, and a hundred bruises and cuts.

"_Most of the effects you'll probably notice will be mental," the doctor said seriously, his solemn eyes brave enough to meet mine. "You never really know what to expect from any kidnap victim, but this is a special case, with so many unique factors…just be normal as possible. If you notice big changes, he could have something bigger going on. Then I'd tell you to take him to a doctor. But if it stays like this for a while? Closed-off, nervous, untrusting… just give him time and treat him like normal."_

Give him time. How much time, though? Not to rush him, and not to sound unsympathetic, but…I hate how much he's changed. Hate it enough to want to take all his pain into me instead.

My phone buzzes on the counter and I open the message. It's Aaron.

_He's here. Scared the shit out of me. I need to start locking my damn windows. _

I sigh, and set my phone down again. At least he is with someone who could probably distract him.

"Rough night?" Nudge asks, walking by me and examining my face. I snort. Oh, the painful irony of that question.

"Fine," I say dismissively. "What are you doing today?"

"I was going to go to the movies with some friends…what did you do to your arm?" Without waiting for my answer, "Does it hurt?" She grabs it and touches the bruise experimentally and I yank my arm away, readjusting my sleeve past my wrist.

"It's fine. How am I supposed to keep track of all my injuries?" I say teasingly. Nudge's worry relaxes into a grin.

"Klutz. I'm going to go take a shower."

"Okay," I say, taking another drink of coffee. I turn my head toward Iggy, who is sitting at the counter, and say, "Ig? You talk to Fang lately?"

"Have _I _talked to _him_? Or has _he _talked to _me_?"

I let out a desolate sigh, sinking into a stool by him. "What are we going to do?"

"It's only been two weeks," Iggy says softly. "Compared to eight months in an isolation chamber, which you know all about, and then a year and a half of heartless torture. Give him a break."

I open my mouth to insist that I'm not _against _him, I'm trying to help him. But then I think about what Iggy said. An isolation chamber…I saw the one Fang had been in. The officers showed me pictures. It's such an inhumane thing; to think that Fang was there, being drained of all his senses and wishing he were dead _for months_…

And, of course, what did he wake up to? When the light finally seared his retinas and every small gust of wind felt like a freight train on his sensitive skin, what did he get? A violent, ruthless, hate-filled mother.

She tore him apart. He won't tell me, but I know. She began hurting him that instant, not only with violence and chemicals, but with words.

_They think you're dead, _she probably taunted. _You've deserted them for eight months. What a man _you _are. _

"I hate her."

Iggy's voice comes softer, deeper. "I think we all do."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much!**

There's a first time for everything, I know. It's just a part of growing up. I realized that as I am trying to think of any last minute things I might need to add to my shopping list before checking out…and then I see the small colorful boxes promising _extended enjoyment_ and _intensified pleasure_.

One time without an precautions was one time too many, but doing it twice was just stupid. We'd needed other things, too, so sneaking a box of condoms into one of the grocery bags was not the most challenging thing I've ever done.

Shelling out fifteen dollars for a tiny box of ten rubbers? That was pretty damn challenging.

I should've been more prepared for it, maybe, but I hadn't really expected us to sleep together when we got him back. At least, not right away. And I definitely hadn't seen last night coming _at all_. I figured our romantic relationship would be put on hold while we worked on Fang's issues.

I'd obviously been wrong.

I lug the five bags I have into the house, dropping them on the counter.

"Groceries!" I shout, pocketing my own purchase in my jeans pocket, and hear groans as lazy flock members begin to move and come help. I turn to escape up to my room and run right into Aaron.

"Oh, hi," I say, automatically glancing behind him to see if Fang is in sight. He isn't.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asks softly.

"Yes," I said, already expecting Fang to have said _something _to Aaron.

Aaron watched my face, nodding. "Okay. You're a big girl, you can handle yourself."

I sighed. "What exactly did he say?"

"That he hurt you," Aaron explains softly, glancing at my arms crossed over my chest. "Left marks. He said that it was getting too out of control and he took it out on you."

"I'm fine," I say, irritation bubbling inside me. "Is he here?"

Aaron nods. "Upstairs."

Despite Aaron's word, I don't see him. I make it all the way into our room and am throwing the expensive box of contraceptive into our bedside table when he says, "What's that?"

"Jesus! You are ten times better at sneaking up on me now than before," I say, jumping and turning to look at him. "They're condoms. Just…so we're ready next time."

I don't blush, which I'm pretty proud of. The fact that I can say _condoms _while looking into Fang's eyes is kind of a huge milestone in my step towards adulthood - I think.

"There won't be a next time," Fang says gruffly, and my pride sinks into terror.

"Why are you so upset? Is it the bruises?" I ask softly.

Fang snorts meanly. "You have to ask?"

I feel really cold all of the sudden. "I don't see why it's so upsetting, you've bruised me before-"

"Don't!"

I stop, mostly because I'm shocked that he raised his voice at me.

"_Don't _try and compare this to _sparring_. Then I might really lose it."

"Seems to me you already have," I say edgily. "If you think a few bruises bother me, you've got another thing coming-"

"It isn't about the bruises! Can you not see how _bad _I am for you right now?" Fang asks in a whisper.

"Don't you dare," I say, outraged. "Don't turn this into a 'it's not you, it's me' situation. You aren't allowed to get rid of me because you're afraid to hurt me. You've hurt me before, Fang! You've broken my _bones_-"

"_Never _when I was supposed to be _loving _you!" he spits.

We're silent.

"Never have we mixed violence with love, _ever_. I crossed that line. I hurt you."

"It didn't hurt!"

"Look!" Fang says, harsh and mean, throwing back our covers. There's blood on the sheets, and I clamp my mouth shut, unsure what to say.

"Look at that and tell me I didn't hurt you," Fang says, his eyes dark. "Go ahead."

"It was only my second time," I say gently. "It's not an exact science-"

"Exact science? _God_! There are a few things that are just common courtesy. One is waking up your girlfriend before _raping _her…" his voice breaks off and he drops the covers to the ground with disdain. "I'll never take it out on you again, you can be sure of that. If I have to _never touch you again_, I will."

My chest tightens. "You…you…please, don't."

Fang's eyes soften, reading my mind. _Don't let this break us_. "I'm not. I don't want that. I know I'm bad for you, but…I can't let even that take you away from me."

My heart swells with relief, my eyes prick with senseless tears, and I surge forward into his arms. "I love you," I whisper.

Fang sighs and engulfs me in his arms. He doesn't pick me up or carry me to the bed or anything, because honestly I don't think he's regained the strength yet. But he murmurs to me, "I love you, too. But something's wrong with me, Max. You got me out, physically, but…part of my mind is still in there."

I clenched my eyes closed.

"Don't cry," Fang whispers. "I'm sorry…"

I can see in his mind that he thinks I'm upset with him. That he thinks I'm furious and exasperated with him. I shake my head into his chest.

"Not you. I just…she…"

"I'm trying," Fang says. He doesn't want to talk about her, I know he doesn't. Just admitting out loud to me that he's having trouble must have been hard. He wants to reassure me, now, which I think is so ridiculously backwards. How is it he's always the one hurt, but he always tries to make _me _feel better? "I'm trying, Max."

I don't say anything. I don't think I can. But the desperation hits me hard and we're shaking in each others arms, holding each other tight so neither of us disappear into nothingness. He holds me and we both whisper reassurances to each other and I am _so scared for us_.

I have to hold on to hope in that moment. I have to trust my mom and Iggy and the doctor, everyone who is telling me that he will get better with time. I have to just stand by him and struggle through it with him until we find a way to make it better.

"Did I hurt you?" Fang whispers.

"It was just…uncomfortable. Sore. I mean, the first time was…different."

Fang lets out a noise. "_Different_. Yeah. I'll redeem myself one day."

I smile lightly into his chest. "It wasn't bad, just gentler. And I was sore after that time, too. Neither was bad. I was scared last night, but not of you. Just…of what was happening to you. I was scared I wouldn't be able to help." 

I feel Fang's head nod above me, and know that I've consoled him a bit. I bet last night he felt my fear and it scared him even more - the thought of me, fearing _him_.

"I don't want to lose you," Fang says softly, barely audible at all, and it breaks my heart that he thinks that's even an option.

"Never," I promise.

And I mean it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Two in one day? Okay, sure. **

**I am really happy that I've gotten any traffic on this story at all. Honestly, I expected only Nola96 and FaxFiction to R&amp;R, so I'm not too butthurt about it. I mean, if you're reading and don't hate it, don't be afraid to tell me. **

**I do want to mention something here, for my iffy readers: Honestly, this story would be T if I thought I could pull it off that way. I tried a T version, really. But it didn't sound like Max at all. If Max were an adult that tried to turn every sexual experience into a poetic nightmare, it would've worked fine. But guys - she's a teenager. A blunt, word-vomity teenager that just tells it like it is. It's kind of impossible to write a raunchy Fax scene and keep Max in character but not mention smutty things. After I stopped restricting myself with word choice, it became a lot easier. **

**This time in the trilogy for Max and Fang was awkward and uncomfortable and rough. All of it. The fights, the make ups, and the sex. So, yeah, it's going to be awkward. It'll make you cringe and smile and "aww," I hope (If I did my job right).**

**That being said, I can't get myself to write Max as some wanton woman of lust.**

**ANYWAYS I promise to warn about raunchy Fax fun from now on! Everything else, sans warning, should be pretty much as perverted as the rest of my shit on here.**

**You're all lovely and I love hearing from you. Since this is all I've found inspiration for in the past month, I'd love to hear some feedback. Please review, guys. That'd be really helpful, especially if you have some ideas, questions, or critiques. I'm only revisiting Fang's healing process ****once****, so if something is missing or unanswered, tell me!**

**FaxFiction: Well shit, I'm glad I haven't fucked it up yet. Thank you so much, not just for the inspiration but for the reviews. And I'm sorry I'm so much of a screw up that I have abandoned my reviewing spree. I'll get to it, I promise!**

**Nola96: I'm sorry. It's really damn sad, but there was such a huge gap between rescuing Fang and the epilogue of Choices that I know some people were thrown. I guess when I wrote it I just figured that you guys would realize that a year passed and he was okay. Hopefully this helps, and I'm glad you love it so far. I have some fun things in store for them all.**

**Guest: Well I'm glad I have you hooked! Thank you so, so much from reviewing. **

**Pancakes-for-you: Seeing reviews from you literally just makes my heart swell. You tell me like it is, and you bring up things I don't know anyone else noticed. Glad we have some kind of twin telepathy going on. Thank you so much for reading AND reviewing!**

**Guest: I'm glad I could make you feel something. (:**

**akwardllama: Dark and wonderful is kind of what I was aiming for. Thanks for reviewing!**

**flytothemax97: I will! (: Thank you. **

**Holy shit, I'm sorry this A/N is so long. Thanks a million. **

MAX

"Dinner?" I ask, moving into the kitchen with Fang right behind me.

"What do you want?" Nudge asks back. I shrug. Nudge looks in the pantry, thinking.

"I think Ig had some steaks in the fridge downstairs. I'll go check."

Angel bounds through the kitchen between Fang and I, right out the front door without a word. Then, Gazzy comes, pulling Emma by the wrist.

"Fang, Emma doesn't know how to play soccer!"

I glance at him. Moment of truth. The only way to truly tell what mood Fang is in these days is to see him in action.

After a split second, his lips twitch. "Well, that's a problem."

Gazzy grins and runs outside after his sister, while Emma starts pulling up her hair. "I don't really see the big deal-"

Iggy goes over to the hall closet and finds the beat up soccer ball. "That's because you don't know what your missing."

Emma grins at me, then follows Fang outside.

After changing into a pair of shorts, I'm ready to play, too. Aaron had to go home, but everyone else is outside bouncing with energy; it's a nice warm day, and things are okay between Fang and me. I feel pretty great.

"Here, watch," Iggy says, taking the ball from Emma. He does some intricate, show-off-y footwork, the uses the toe of his shoe to fling the ball into the air towards Fang. Fang starts bouncing it on his knees. Emma huffs.

"Well, now you're just rubbing it in," she says. "Are you making fun of me?"

Gazzy frowns. "What? We're not making fun of you."

"Listen, I don't care if you don't know how to tie your own shoes," Fang says moving the ball to his hand to spin it on his fingers. Yeah, now he was showing off. "Ask us and we'll help you."

Emma smiles. "I know how to tie my own shoes."

"Okay, it's simple," Nudge says. "You try to kick the ball into Ig's goal. They'll try to kick it into ours. No hands. Stay in the lines, and don't kick with your toes."

Emma opens her mouth, but Fang drops the ball and steadies it. "Side of your foot," he says, showing her. "You can kick harder and aim better that way."

"Knees, chest, head," Holden, who was setting up the goals, rattles off. "Anything but hands, really."

Emma looks confused. "How are you supposed to use your head?"

Iggy grins, decidedly ready to show her rather than tell her. "Let's play."

Just as we're about to start, I see Mom's van winding down the gravel road toward our house. I straighten up. "You guys play without me, okay?"

"What?" Angel whines. "Max, come on. Now the teams are uneven."

I smile at her. "I know you have enough skills for the both of us, Ange." Mom parks in front of the house and I start walking backwards, calling out, "Kick ass, ladies!"

Nudge salutes me, already in the zone. Holden says something about motherly advice and I roll my eyes, running toward the house.

Mom's alone. She says Ella has a lot of school work she has to get done, and I respond with, "Don't we all. Missing a week to reinstate Fang really set us all back at school."

Mom comes inside with me and we move into the kitchen. I lean against the counter and watch her hang up her jacket in the hall.

"Well, it was important," Mom says. "You guys needed those days together."

"Yeah, we did," I say. Now that she's here, we can figure out something for lunch while the others mess around. I roll up my sleeves and start washing my hands in the sink.

She opens the fridge and takes inventory. "How's everything been?" By _everything _she means _Fang_, and I know that well enough not to hesitate.

"Fine," I say, not sure what to tell her first. She hasn't been over to visit since we got Fang back, so anything will be news for her. "I mean…It's hit or miss sometimes, but he keeps it together pretty well for the others. There hasn't been a major episode yet."

_Yet_. That's a scary thought.

She sighs, probably thinking the same thing. "He needs to see someone, Max."

I shake my head. "He won't. If he wouldn't see anyone about the School, even once he was _over _it, he definitely won't about this."

Mom watches me. "Does he talk to you about it?"

"Not yet he hasn't," I say. "Uh, Nudge said there were some steaks in the fridge downstairs. Ig already marinated 'em."

"We can work with that," she says. "Wanna go get them?"

I run down to get them. When I come back upstairs she's at the counter, cutting up many colorful vegetables. The room is starting to smell like fresh veggies and it's delicious. I glance outside, watch as Nudge steals the ball from Fang, and I say without thinking, "His reflexes are off."

Mom raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Look," I say. "See? He's a split second behind with each move. That's why Nudge got the ball."

Mom shrugs. "What do you expect? Two years of inaction, you're bound to be a bit rusty."

I don't say anything, but I take a green pepper from the stack of vegetables and grab a knife, getting to work. I take my time in order to make sure the slices are even. She doesn't say anything, either, but she's thinking loud enough. I can tell by the long pause that she's contemplating her next words.

"Max, have you thought about…putting the relationship on hold while he figures out how to deal with this?"

I honestly haven't. I mean, the moment we found him I knew we'd have to focus on fixing him first. And I hadn't expected us to sleep together, but…what, going on a break? I don't know how that could have helped things. I'm sure that won't work, now, anyways.

"Not really," I say. "I mean…our relationship is one thing he can still do without second guessing himself. Most the time."

She sighs, and takes about three minutes to speak again. Just as I'm lowering my knife to slice off another sliver of pepper, she says, "You two are being careful, right?"

Moms are like that, you know. They always _know_, like a sixth sense. It surprises me, to say the least. My knife slips and I slice into my thumb. As soon as the blood swells up through the cut, I'm cursing and pressing my other thumb over it.

"Shit, Mom," I say, laughing a little. I move toward the sink and turn on the water, watching the redness wash down the drain. "It freaks me out, how you can do that."

Mom smiles wryly, but says, "Yeah, well it freaks me out that you haven't answered yet."

I frown, pressing my stinging wound, trying to get it to stop bleeding. "Well…the first time was totally unplanned," I say in defense. She waits, knowing that I have more to confess. "And…so was the second."

"Max," Mom sighs. "You have to be prepared. Even if it's unplanned…you can't afford not to be ready."

"I know," I say, trying not to let her disappointment affect me too much. "We'll be careful from now on, I promise."

She looks on the edge about something, her eyes full of worry. "Well, honey, it only takes one time."

I feel like a fist of clay has formed in my throat. I can't even swallow. I dry off my finger and move across the room to find a band-aid in the junk drawer. "I know. I don't think - I'm not pregnant, Mom. I can't be."

"Should I buy you a test?" Mom asks.

"Um, I think we'd have to wait a little. It was…recent."

"Well, how recent? Some tests work quicker than others," Mom says reasonably.

I think I really am blushing now, and I thank the Lord she can't see my face. "No, like, really recent."

_As in, ten hours ago._

Mom's eyes widen slightly. "Oh. _Gotcha_."

This is a really awkward moment for me, and she knows. She doesn't say anything for a while, then she jokes quietly, "Then we could always buy you something else."

I roll my eyes. "What would that be?"

She keeps a straight face and dumps her veggies into the pan, causing them the sizzle loudly.

"Plan B," she says, and I swear to God she is laughing at me on the inside. "The morning-after pill."

"Oh," I mumble, telling myself to ditch the embarrassment already. "Well, yeah, that would make some sense."

"But really, honey," she says, putting a halt to her chopping. "Maybe the intimate stuff should sit on the back burner for a while? At least until he's a bit more stable."

"God-! He's not going to hurt me!" I insist, maybe a little too firmly.

Mom looks at me oddly. "I know that. It's just…how many times have you done this just to distract him from his problems?"

I shake my head. "Not the first time. No, that was different. But last night…"

Mom nods. "If you sleep with him just to distract him from his pain, sex is going to mean something different to him. It won't be about love, it will be about escape. It's like an alcoholic; he'll get away from his problems through unhealthy solutions rather than facing it head-on. You need to help him, first."

"You're right," I say, dumping my sliced peppers into the pan. "But, Mom?"

"Hm?"

"What if I can't help him?"

She looks at me, her eyes curious. "If you can't, who can?"

I sigh. That's exactly what I'm wondering. The answer in my head is, _No one, you moron, _and that worries me even more. Because then I really am Fang's last hope, and I don't even know how to be his hope at all, let alone his _last _one.

We put together our stew, talking about less dense subjects. I tell Mom Fang will be coming back to school second semester, and she asks me if I think he'll be ready.

"I hope so," I mumble. "That's two months from now."

She smiles lightly, and I know it's supposed to be reassuring but right now it's just bringing me down. I let myself gaze out the window, now. Ever since she brought up the pregnancy thing, I've felt nauseas.

"We can let this cook for a couple hours," Mom said, drying her hands on a towel. "I'm going back home; Ella wanted to join us all for dinner."

I push back my hair absently. "That, um…pill…wouldn't hurt anything if I _was _pregnant, right?" I ask, my voice wavering slightly. I mean, I don't want to be pregnant at seventeen, but I don't want to kill a baby, either. It's just…

I _cannot _be pregnant right now. That would just be the final blow for Fang. That's the last thing we need. I cannot be pregnant. _No_.

My mom, Lord bless her, really needs to work on masking the sympathy in her eyes. "No, hon. It won't hurt anything. Just…precautionary."

I nod, but don't say anything.

She pulls on her jacket. "I'll be back in about two hours. Keep an eye on that stew. And don't worry," she adds, her eyes on Fang out the window. "I'll stop by the drugstore before I pick up Ella. She won't know."

I hug her, hard, because suddenly I can't imagine getting through shit like this without her.

"It'll be okay, Max," she says really quietly.

I hope she's right. Even though I know that if I'm pregnant, everything will _not _be okay. It will be the opposite of okay. It will be, like, really not ideal to be pregnant - _at seventeen with a broken boyfriend_.

Even so, I hope she's right. Everything will be okay…

Eventually.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I will be so pissed if this story ends up being normal length. I just have so much to fit in…we'll see. **

**I love each and every person who's reviewed for this story! Please keep it coming, it just makes my day. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Well, I'm glad that you like my style. (: Things for Max and Fang are going to get a little worse before they get better, but they will get better. Thank you so much.**

**awesomealpha11: I want to tell **_**you **_**something. You're one of the best, most loyal reviewers I've ever had. Seeing responses from you makes my day! I'll try not to second guess my writing…but writing M stuff just kind of throws me off - not as confident. You're awesome, for real. Thank you for reading! **

**pancakes-for-you: Fics where they kiss once and all is forgiven annoy the freaking shit out of me. What else annoys the shit of me? When there are, like, teen pregnancy stories, and they tell the flock, and everyone gets excited. Like, I'm sorry, if my big sister came home and told me she was pregnant, I'd probably be really pissed at her for throwing our lives off kilter because she's freaking eighteen. Just saying. Anyways - hehe, just a little pet peeve ranting - thanks for the reviews! No worries, they will finally discuss his shit. They're also going to talk about some of Max's shit, back from the first year Fang was gone. Hence why I have no idea how long this story will actually be. Oops. I said it would be short, but who the hell really knows. Thank you, thank you, **_**thank you **_**for reviewing! **

**Nola96: Awkward, right? I always have some awkward stuff in there somewhere, haha. Thank you for reading, and I'm glad I could clear up some "huh?" moments from the trilogy. Hopefully I clear up some more soon.**

**SophieClarke15: Thank you. THANK YOU! You flatter me too much. (: I've noticed your reviews on my stories, and they are all totally, totally appreciated. I'm glad I can keep you entertained. And I'm unpredictable? Good! Hopefully you like this story just as much. **

**FaxFiction: Max will figure it out. Right now she seriously has no idea how to deal, as is really showed in this chapter. Soon, she figures it out. I love this story and I love that you made me sit down and really flesh it out because they kind of fall in love again and gain trust again, especially Fang, and it really is Consequences, only their positions are swapped. Yes, Val gave Max good advice, but Max doesn't necessarily follow it very well…you'll see. And YES! Reviews are coming. I promise. Thank you, lady! You just make my day with your thoughtful responses. **

**WithoutWings: I am seeing all these familiar people, reviewing on my stories, and it makes my heart swell. Thank you for taking another chance on another story of mine, and thanks for taking the time to review! It is sad, and it will stay sad…or at least frustrating…for a while. Only until Max and Fang figure it out. And as for adult content…well, this may seem unnecessary but I promise it isn't. I just have to show all the wrong ways Max tries to help Fang before she finds the right way. **

**WARNING: Hand job. That's all I'm going to say.**

**Thanks for reading, loves.**

MAX

Two weeks go by, with Fang teetering from good moods to bad moods. I've made no progress in helping him and I hate myself for it. Only one positive thing has come from this.

"I'm not pregnant."

Fang's lying on his side of the bed, on his stomach, his face facing away from me. I don't know why, but it bothers me. Even when he answers, he doesn't look at me.

"That's good," he says softly.

I'm getting ready for bed. It's cold in the house, so I pull on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I crawl into bed, but don't really get close to him. Fang's good at cuddling when he wants to be, but I can tell tonight he doesn't want to be. I tuck the blankets around myself, trying to seal in some heat, and then I lie still, staring at the ceiling.

I'm so frustrated. I'm not doing any of this right. Every time Fang shuts down, I have no idea how to deal. I take my frustration out on him tonight, the damaged, recovering mutant, which is probably not a very solid idea.

"What's wrong now?" I ask, not very kindly. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," he says, not taking the bait like I wish he would. It would be so much easier if he would fight me back. "Tired."

"Bullshit," I say. Which, how the hell would I know? Maybe he really is exhausted, and I'm just being a bitch. I roll over, shove his shoulder, make him turn toward me. He does, because anything is better than fighting me right now.

"What's wrong with us?" I whisper, wiggling my way into his arms. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Quit blaming yourself for everything," Fang says with acute irritation - loaded and aimed at moi. "You know I'm the one who's fucked up, not you - now quit making me feel even worse."

"I'm not trying to," I say. "I just have no idea what you want from me."

Fang drags a hand down his face. "Fuck - I don't want anything from you, Max. Just…go to sleep."

_Fine_, I think, not caring if he's listening to my thoughts or not, _I don't want anything from you, either, asshole._

Fang huffs. Ah, so he _is _listening.

He rolls over, again putting his monumental problems and issues aside in order to deal with me, the shitty best friend/fiancée who can't just suck it up and help him. He curls around me, pulls me backwards into him, and kisses behind my ear gently.

I roll over, closing my eyes, and his mouth finds mine quickly.

"Mmmm - hm! Oh, Fang, wait," I mumble against his lips, grabbing his hand. "I can't. Not tonight."

He sighs harshly and rolls onto his side. "Why not?"

I look at him in shock. "How else do you think I know I'm not pregnant?" I spit.

Now _he's _mad at _me_.

We are ridiculous.

"That's what this is all about? You just want to have sex?" I demand.

"No, I thought that's what _you _wanted!" Fang says, looking at me like I'm insane. "I wanted to _sleep_."

_Fucking psycho_, he thinks_. _

I shove his shoulder. "Goodnight, you jerk."

I roll away from him. He groans, shifting next to me. He's really in a bind, now, because he can't just turn off his body's needs. I want to just make him suffer and let him deal with it on his own, but I don't. I roll over, sit up on his thighs and look down at him.

He puts his hands on my waist, watching me.

"I'm still mad at you," I say. "Don't forget that."

Fang looks at me blankly. "Okay."

I raise up on my knees so I can remove his shorts, then sit down on his legs again.

This is _probably _exactly what my mom was talking about when she told me to put the sex on hold.

So, whatever. I wasn't kidding about not being able to really do anything with him, but I take him in my hand without really thinking about my approach because _I'm the recently-deflowered virgin, remember?_

Fang, catching on to my idea, scoots over and reaches into the drawer by the bed. Just as I'm wondering why we need a condom for this rendezvous, he comes back with a small bottle.

"Wow," I mumble. "So many secrets."

Fang raises one eyebrow, and says monotonously, "Before you, there was my hand."

He makes me feel so freaking stupid sometimes.

We're so mad at each other, _so fucking pissed_, because nothing is the same anymore and it's hard on us. It's not as easy between us as it used to be, so we're irate and horrible to each other, even right now. I'm a little rougher than I should be, I think, but it doesn't matter. He's not even watching, or really paying any attention. His eyes are closed and his responses are close to none.

Which makes me even madder. I mean, why isn't he going crazy, saying my name over and over and arching off the freaking mattress?

"What am I doing wrong?"

"_Why_…do you…keep asking me that?" Fang breathes.

"I don't know," I say nonchalantly, "I guess because you aren't incoherent with pleasure I feel like I'm doing this wrong."

"You aren't," Fang says. "There aren't really many ways you can fuck it up."

I narrow my eyes at him. "At least pretend that this isn't inconvenient for you."

"I'm not going to _fake it_," Fang says.

"Oh, is that something we're doing now? _Not _faking it in bed?"

Fang actually opens his eyes to glare at me. "You don't fake it."

I shrug. "Maybe you're right."

"You know, you're being -" he pauses, his eyelids falling shut for a second while I work my hand on him, "- kind of a bitch right now."

I grit my teeth. You know what I really want to do right now is rip his precious tool clean off, because I don't care what kind of baggage he came home with, he is _not _allowed to call me that. Especially while _I'm _jacking _him _off.

I want to cry. Or scream. Or something. My mom was right; I shouldn't even be touching him right now. And my game plan of beating his issues out of him is so not healthy or helpful, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to gently heal him. I don't know how to baby Fang and be his rock. It's always been the other way around.

So now I'm doing this, exactly what my mom told me not to, because it's easier to help him feel good like this than to watch him feel nothing at all. It's easier to fight with him than to lie next to him in silence.

So, instead of ripping his cock off or crying or something, I do something even stupider. I scoot down, bend over, and take him into my mouth without even thinking. And I know I say I don't think about things a lot, but seriously I did not consider the consequences of this _at all_.

Immediately, his entire façade drops. His hand that was casually lying on my clothed thigh now twists into my hair, hard, holding me in place. He groans, "_God_, Max, what the-" Then he jerks his hips up.

I, of course, pull back nervously because I don't want to _die _\- I'm not trying to over exaggerate on his size, I can't even brush the back of my tongue with my toothbrush without gagging violently. Irritated, I move my hands to his hips and shove them down, keeping them there. I keep him in my mouth, though, totally stumped because I didn't think much farther than this.

Why didn't I even think about what I was supposed to do _after _I got to this point?

I swirl my tongue on him, hollow out my cheeks, and do a few other harmless things that make it look like I kind of have an idea of what I'm doing, and then it doesn't matter that I don't know how to give a blowjob because that is more than enough for Fang and he loses it.

In my mouth.

With no warning.

So, the very attractive sight Fang sees next is me trying and failing to keep up with him, choking and spluttering, scooting backwards far and fast enough so I fall off the damn bed, and then rolling over onto my side, trying to catch my breath.

I don't know, I just kind of feel like that isn't how it's supposed to go _at all_.

I'm not in a good mood after that, for sure. He's looking at me, his eyes laughing at me. Somehow, even when I make him lose control and _moan _my name, I'm still the one who's inexperienced in bed. I hate him for laughing at me.

"Shut up. Go to sleep now, asshole. See you tomorrow."

"Max-" he says softly, less rude now that he's gotten off all over my freaking sweatshirt.

I start changing, still glaring in his direction.

"I'm sorry," Fang says. "I wasn't laughing at you."

"Yes you were. You know, a little warning would've been nice."

"Me? _Me _warn _you_? Max…you're the devil." He rubs his hand over his forehead.

"Why, thanks," I drawl. "For some reason, that doesn't make things much better."

I lay down again, but make damn sure not to touch him this time.

He doesn't care. He rolls over and now, of _course_, he feels like interacting.

"You're tempting," he whispers, kissing my shoulder. "And evil, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," I breathe finally.

He kisses me once, really quickly, and looks at me.

"This isn't how we should be dealing with stuff," I say, grabbing his hand and pushing my fingers through his. "We need a new game plan. Next time this happens…we need to talk, instead. Okay?"

He watches me. I know that we really haven't talked about anything that's happened to him since it happened, so the thought of fessing up to me is probably a little scary.

"Okay," Fang murmurs. He kisses my cheek and pulls me close to him again, tentatively. I let him.

"Tomorrow, we'll talk about it," Fang says. "I promise."

**A/N: Review, please! I may be able to update this weekend…let's see some responses!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Oh, goodness. The feels in this chapter…get ready. **

**Renndude: Yeah, I can't really picture Max's first time giving head as anything but a complete debacle. Thank you!**

**pancakes-for-you: Um, I don't know. It was a cynical kind of funny, haha, and it's easy to make sad things cynically funny. (That's pretty much my life, haha!) They kind of "discuss" things in this chapter, but…not by talking. Thank you!**

**Stormchase: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hmm…you've got some things right! Hope you like my version (:**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, they're definitely playing with fire. They'll figure it out eventually. Thank you!**

**kateflowrchild13: They will talk it out! This is just the beginning! (:**

**akwardllama: You're welcome! Thank YOU for the regular reviews. **

**FaxFiction: Yeah, Max and Fang…they'll get it eventually. They're going to fail at talking it out a lot more than they succeed. I'm glad you're still liking it!**

**Nola96: And this is my depressed Fax M. Just wait until I come out with the non-depressed shit. ;) Thank you for reading! It makes me so happy that I get big reviews from you on each one. **

**Thank you guys. Read ahead. No sexy stuffs. **

MAX

The next day is Monday, which means we're all going to school, save Fang. Fang catches up on the past two years online, at home. Next semester, he'll be in school with us again. Usually he gets his shit done by about noon and is outside flying when we get home.

Not today.

Aaron drove Nudge, Angel, Gazzy and Emma home today right after school. I had stuff to do and Iggy and Holden both had to make up some tests with their classes. By the time I get home, it's already five o'clock.

I open the door, shove inside, and as soon as my backpack hits the floor, I hear Aaron shout, "Fang, man!" There's a quick scuffle, then Nudge gasps. "Get out! Go calm the hell down!"

I round the corner into the living room, fear in my throat, to see Nudge and Aaron alone. Nudge's eyes are wide. Aaron's got a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay? Can you breathe okay?" he asks softly.

"I'm fine," Nudge says harshly. She sees me and her eyes water. "I didn't mean to! I didn't think he was having a fit. I was just going to ask him to come see my play this weekend, and he…but, I'm okay!"

"What happened?" I ask, looking at Aaron. Nudge is glaring at him, like, _Don't get Fang in trouble. _Aaron frowns.

"He grabbed her neck. He was kind of zoning out while she talked to him, which was weird. But she sat down on the couch next to him and I guess he felt threatened because he attacked her."

"He didn't attack me!"

"Nudge-"

She puts up her hand. "For someone who's _actually _been attacked by Fang before, I think I know what I'm talking about!" She huffs and looks at me. "He grabbed my neck and squeezed, but only for a second. He knew who I was the second he did it. His eyes widened and he backed off like he'd just punched me."

"Except he didn't punch you," Aaron says quietly. "You're lucky he snapped out of it, Nudge."

I sigh. "I'm going to go find him."

Aaron follows me outside. "Max, he hasn't done that to you, has he?"

I turn to look at him, shaking my wings out in the front yard. He's watching me like he doesn't know how I'm going to react to that question. I feel like overreacting would be a big waste of his time and mine. He's just looking out for me, and though I hate that anyone has to even ask that of Fang's character, _he has to ask it_. Hell, he just saw it happen.

"No," I say. "He hasn't."

Aaron just nods. I know he's going to stay with the others until Fang and I are back, but I also know him well enough to know he wants to come with me to make sure I'm okay.

"Be careful."

"Okay," I say, trying to make this a bit more normal. "When Ig gets home, would you help him start dinner?"

Aaron knows what I'm doing and plays along. "Sure."

I run down the driveway a bit and take off. As soon as I'm in the air, I turn away from town, trying to narrow my searching. He wouldn't have gone toward civilization. He'd go toward the wilderness.

_Fang? Hiding form me is just going to piss me off_, I think pointedly. Then I remember that I decided yesterday to be gentler with him, not try to kick his problems out of him.

I close my eyes. _Fang, you need my help. Where are you? _

I don't get anything. I'm circling the clearings below, searching for him.

_Fang. Please._

I'm about to give up and search on foot when I hear, _West. By the lake. Cliff. _

By the lake. Meaning, the lake we discovered as we were surveying the forest near the house, years ago. There was a huge cliff there, canyon-like and ancient. I turned and flew in his directions. When I get there, or get close enough to see no one in sight, I'm stumped.

All he said was _Cliff_. If he wasn't on the cliff…

In the cliff. I sigh, swooping closer and closer to the rock wall until I can see which outcroppings are just outcroppings and which actually go deeper.

I find one, finally. It's really close to the ground. I tuck in my wings and land clumsily on the rock floor. He's there, alright, and he doesn't look so good.

He's sitting on the large rock, staring at me but also kind of staring through me. He's shaking slightly, too. I swallow.

"What? Show me," I say, moving toward him. I kneel in front of him, tentative because I don't want him to freak out and hurt me. I'm treating him like a cornered animal and I know that's exactly how he feels right now and I want to cry.

Fang's hands reach out and find the backs of my legs, then trail up over my back and my wings to hold my shoulders. I lean against him, letting out a slow breath.

He doesn't say anything. He won't show me specific memories, not since that first time, when he showed me how he got one of his scars. I obviously showed that I couldn't handle it, and after seeing me bawling from just one memory of his, he hasn't shown me a specific scenario since. But he pulls me close and then lets some of his emotions flow into me, escape into my mind, just so he can breathe again.

It hits me all at once, and it takes me off guard. I cling to him then, distraught with the emotions rolling through me, and can barely hold onto reality. _It isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't real…_

Thinking that is exhausting, but if I don't then Fang and I will both get lost. And I don't know how to fix that if it happens.

I push through the agony and press my forehead to his. _Focus on me_, I think hard, trying to push it past his thoughts. _I'm here, no one else. Me, Fang. Find me_.

He's forcing himself to take deep breaths. "I'm fine, I've got it," he grits out after a second. I sit back, but I don't leave - not like he wants me to.

"Max…"

"It won't help if you keep trying to bottle it up. It's me or a doctor, Fang."

"I don't need a doctor."

"No, you need me," I say quietly. "I need you to show me, Fang. I can take it. I swear."

_You're not ready to talk - fine_, I think to him soothingly, while slowly rubbing his back_. At least have some kind of communication. Show me some other way. Tell me through memories what you can't articulate._

Fang's still shaking while he swipes my hair away and kisses the place between my eyes. I let out a breath, readying myself.

He pushes the memory into my mind effortlessly, and I feel him let out a gasp. I grip him harder. To think that this act of sharing his memories actually gives him physical relief from his pain makes me so happy. I whisper, _It's okay, let me see. Let me see, _just like you do to a child with a cut or booboo.

With a harsh exhale, Fang says, "I have to explain first. I…don't know why, but I've been reliving this all day. I don't know what's happening to me right now, Max."

"It's okay," I say. "I'm here."

Fang nods against my shoulder. "For the first few months, I wasn't chained. That's when most of the physical tests took place. I…" he sighs. "You'll see. Ready?"

"Ready," I breathe. "I'm here, Fang."

He lets me see.

"_Look at you, so goddamn pathetic," she sneers. "Guess what? You get out of here one of two ways, honey. You don't get to escape, and you don't get saved."_

_I stare up at her, hating her with every fiber of my being. I can barely breathe through the pain, barely think, and I have no idea how I'm conscious. _

"_Either you help me," she says, inspecting the rusty knife in her hand idly. "Or you die."_

_She tosses the knife and it hits the concrete ground with a clatter. She kicks it to me. _

"_And I won't help you with the second one."_

_She leaves then, and fuck if I don't sincerely think about it. It'd have to be my wrists or my throat. I can't be sure that a stab would really do the trick, and I don't feel like getting close to death just to have her fucking ruin that, too. _

_I grip the handle. _

_I could do it, I think. I could probably go through with it. Maybe I will. Maybe neck will be faster…_

_I raise the knife, feeling like I'm already out of my body, just watching. I don't want to watch; and I don't want to do this, either, but who knows when I'll get the chance again and who knows what she has in store for me if I miss this chance to end it. _

_I can feel the rusty, bumpy blade on my throat now. I swallow, close my eyes…_

_And that's my mistake. _

_Her face is so vivid and clear in my mind that my hand freezes. Her brown eyes stare firmly into mine and she has her mouth in a thin line, that you-done-fucked-up line. _

"_What are you doing, Fang?" she asks. _

_And suddenly I really don't know. I drop the knife into my lap, shocked that I was so close to actually doing it. There's a smear of blood on the blade. I swipe my hand against my throat and a bit of blood comes off on my palm. _

_I throw the knife across the room. "Fuck you, Max," I mutter. "Fuck you."_

I'm almost thrown out of that memory. I stare at Fang in shock of what I just experienced. His cheeks are wet and he won't look at me and I try to get my thoughts straight.

"Fang, it's okay…" I whisper gently.

"She finally came back," Fang says quietly. "With a bucket and a mop. Thinking that I'd…that I'd done it."

"Oh, my God," I murmur, pushing closer to him. His arms are still around me, but holding me is a half-hearted effort. I hold him, though, and don't let go.

"I would've, too, Max. I would've. If…"

He doesn't need me to say anything. Anything I think he needs to hear, I'm repeating in my head to him. _It's okay, I love you, I'm here, you're safe…_

"I choked Nudge," he stutters out finally. He sniffles, but a guy sniffle. One of those, I'm-fine-and-I'm-not-crying sniffles. He blinks. "I didn't mean to. I was in the memory, and I was thinking, if only I'd have just killed her then, you know? Killed Evelyn, while she fucking taunted me. Two days after that, I was chained. I should have just…"

"Nudge is worried you ran away for good," I say, after a minute. "She isn't mad at you."

"She should be. I could've really hurt her."

We sit in silence. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. Make him talk about how that memory makes him feel? Turn those feelings around, make him realize that it's good he didn't kill himself? That he lost his chance to escape and had to endure a whole year of torture after that?

Fuck, I am so not trained for this shit.

"Only Aaron knows this," I whisper into his shoulder when I can't think of what else to do. If I can't help him by talking about his problems, I'll talk about mine. "I made him swear not to tell Iggy, and I don't think he wanted to tell, anyways."

Tears are already welled up in my eyes, from all the emotional turmoil we've already been through, so I start crying immediately. "I feel so stupid even saying it. It makes me sound like some dependent girl who doesn't mean anything without her boyfriend…but…Fang…I kind of am."

"No you aren't," Fang murmurs.

"I was so fucking lost without you, that first week after you disappeared, that I didn't even have it in me to be ashamed. I got everyone out of the house, sent them to Mom's…and I was going to OD in the bathroom," I whisper.

He doesn't say a word. He doesn't move. I hope he doesn't hate me, or think I'm weak and ridiculous.

"I just got whatever I could find. I had so many different kinds of medicine in my hands…and I was so scared that I was shaking and I dropped a few. Then I was crying so loud…I guess when Aaron got there he heard me. And he had to break down the bathroom door."

I close my eyes and just remember, pushing the memory at Fang and hoping it gets to him. He needs to see.

_Aaron hits my hand and they fly everywhere. _

"_What are you doing?" he cries, so fucking scared that he's furious. "What the fuck are you doing?"_

_I curl up on the floor, sobbing, holding my face. "I don't know! I don't know!"_

"_Yes, you do know!" Aaron shouts, shaking me. "How many did you take? How many?" _

"_I d-didn't," I say. _

"_I don't believe you!" Aaron says, and I think he's about to shove his fingers down my throat to make me throw up, just in case. "How many, Max?"_

"_I didn't take any," I mutter, all of my energy gone and replaced with embarrassment and humiliation. "I didn't, Aaron. I didn't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh, God."_

_Aaron stares at me for a second, trying to see if I'm telling the truth. _

"_You have people here who need you," he says softly. "I'm sorry. I know you're in pain, I know it sucks and it isn't fair. But you can't just…"_

_I lean my head back against the bathroom wall, tears still rolling down my cheeks. _

"_I don't think I can do it."_

"_What?" Aaron asks tentatively. _

"_Live without him," I moan, rolling my head against the hard tile. I close my eyes. "I don't really know if I can or not. But I sure as hell don't want to try."_

"He watched me like a hawk after that," I whisper into Fang's neck. "I freaked him out so bad. I didn't know what to do, though. I was so scared that you were out there somewhere, needing me, and I was letting you down… I couldn't live with myself."

I take in a deep breath. "We're here," I say, swallowing thickly. Crying this much…it so isn't like us. But I was not ready for the amount of raw emotion that those memories would bring up. I don't think he was, either.

"You and me, we're here, and we're alive," I say. I'm not sure what that is supposed to fix, but I say it anyways hoping it will fix _something_.

"I know," Fang whispers, stroking my back.

"I love you," I say, kissing the exact spot where Fang had nicked himself with that goddamn knife.

He kisses me, and then we sit there for a long time and don't say a word.

**A/N: R-E-V-I-E-W. Please. Thanks. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here is the deal. **

**I was writing like a maniac for this story because it's the only thing that flows right now, and I realized something. I had three huge gaps in the trilogy that I skipped, for plot's sake. The two years Fang was gone, the year between the end of **_**Choices **_**and the epilogue (this story, aka Fang's healing process), and the years between the **_**Choices **_**epilogue and **_**Consequences**_**. I don't regret leaving those gaps. I mean, it would've been a ridiculous amount of filler, and the stories would've lost focus.**

**However, since a lot of you have PMed that you wanted to see more of those gaps filled in, I've decided to try. And I'm proud of the feedback I've gotten for this story. I realize a lot of you want to know what Max and flock went through, too, and that's where this whole A/N becomes important and not just incessant rambling. **

**My earlier version of **_**Choices **_**included a lot of flashbacks for Max. Her moments of unconsciousness (when she wasn't in her out-of-body-experience) had originally gone back and forth between dreams with Fang and flashbacks to the years without him. I took the flashbacks out because they were confusing, but…surprise, surprise, they're still on my hard drive. **

**I just want to make it clear that all the things I bring up in this story were thoughtfully connected the trilogy way back when. It was my creative decision to cut some scenes out, but I feel like there isn't any harm in publishing them now. Some things you read may seem weird, like "Whoa, she never mentioned that in the trilogy before." But it should make sense, if you think about it. I mean, it should really make sense, since I wrote a lot of the flashbacks with Fang MIA during **_**Choices**_**.**

**If you get confused, ask me. I will certainly clear things up. The reason this comes up is because there is a flashback in this chapter. One that I wrote for **_**Choices**_**, but cut. **

**Sorry if this was confusing af. Continue and please review. **

MAX

Fang and I get home just as it's getting dark, around seven. Nudge is sitting on the porch railing, her legs dangling. Holden is sitting on the porch steps, a few feet away from her, reading a book in the dim evening light - the porch light had long since gone out.

"Reading in the dark is bad for your eyes," I say, walking past Holden onto the wooden porch.

"You aren't the only one with excellent vision," Holden says. "Besides, there's plenty of light."

I roll my eyes. Fang walks through the lawn and stops at the railing where Nudge is perched. She smiles at him when she sees him. I watch quietly as he hops up next to her and then I tap Holden's leg with my boot, nodding for him to follow me inside.

"She was freaking out," Holden says. "Figured 'least I could do was keep her company while she rattled off about how she 'just about ruins everything.'"

I smile at him. In the kitchen, Aaron and Iggy are sitting at the counter, eating through a bag of chips.

I raise my eyebrows. "What happened to dinner?"

Aaron raises his eyebrows right back. "It came and went, sister. You two've been gone for two hours."

I sigh. "That sucks. I'm starving. He probably is, too."

"Where is he?" Iggy asks.

"With Nudge, talking it out. Are there at least some leftovers?"

"Nah, but no worries," Aaron says, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Once Fang's ready we're going back to my house. We can eat something there."

"And…why are we going over there when you're already here?" I ask, digging in the fridge for something I can eat _right now_.

Aaron pauses and lets the loud, chaotic laughter from the living room be his voice. He just looks at me. "Holden said he'd hold down the fort."

"Okay, I'm in," I say. "He will be, too, once he knows food is involved."

I know Aaron is totally bummed that his best friend is battling a bad case of PTSD right now. I also know that the four of us haven't spent any time together, just us, since Fang has been home, and it's been almost a month.

The front door opens and Nudge comes in, then, wiping her wet cheeks with one hand.

"Nudge?" Iggy moves a little closer immediately.

"I'm good," she says, smiling through her tears. She keeps the door open and Fang follows her in; she's holding onto his wrist with her free hand. He eases the door shut then looks at me briefly before gently touching her knuckles. She uncurls her fist and sighs, pushing her poufy hair back with both hands. He squeezes her shoulders and murmurs one more thing to her that none of us hear. She nods, smiling, and he goes upstairs.

"Uh, we're going to Aaron's!" I call after him as he hustles up the steps. _We'll eat there. Come down when you're ready. _

He doesn't answer, but I don't expect much more. Nudge comes over to me and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a warm hug. She sniffles and sighs.

"I haven't really seen him that normal since…we rescued him. I mean, the few days after we got him back he was happy, but you know what I mean. I guess part of the reason he was so happy at first was because of you," she rambles thickly, "and then it kind of wore off as he realized he wasn't fully healed. He kind of retreated into himself after that. But…that's…the first time I got to talk to him and he was really _there_."

"I know," I say. I kiss her forehead. "He's there."

Nudge laughs lightly and backs up, blinking. "Yeah, he is. And you guys are coming to my play on Friday. He promised."

I smile at her. "Okay. We're going to Aaron's for a while. You guys be good. Call if you need anything?"

Nudge looks so freshly happy that it makes my heart ache. _We're getting there_, I reassure myself. _Slow and steady. _

"Yeah, I promised Gaz I'd help him with a project anyway. Have fun."

• • •

About fifteen minutes later, we're lounging on the curved sectional couch in Aaron's basement, eating pizza and watching TV. His parents and his sister are home, upstairs, but the basement is Aaron's very own "Man Cave," as the guys like to call it, which is stupid because I am down there all the time.

The four of us manage to work through four boxes of pizza. Well, Iggy, Fang and I each tackle one alone. Aaron lets his family members steal some of his before bringing down three pieces that he polishes off at a much slower pace.

He tries.

"What's up with the stain on the carpet?" Fang asks, looking at the dull grey splotch in the middle of the floor. I internally groan while Aaron shifts and takes a drink of soda.

"Want the story my mom got? Or the truth?"

Fang rolls his eyes.

"I told my mom that I spilled a soda while trying to kill a spider," Aaron says, smirking. "She was so scared about the damn spider she didn't care about the stain. She just asked if I got it."

I laugh, leaning against Fang's side and burrowing my feet under Ig's knee. Iggy reaches behind himself, grabs the scratchy red quilt on the back of the couch, and puts it on my feet. I tap him again with my toes to let him know I appreciate it.

"And what really happened?" Fang inquires, sounding like he almost doesn't want to know.

Iggy crosses his arms, grinning. "Yeah, what really happened? Max? Aaron? Who wants to take this one?"

I open one eye to peek at Aaron, who looks reluctant. I sigh.

"Um…"

"Long story short," Iggy says, "Aaron left his brain God-knows-where and got Max drunk."

Aaron and I both protest at the same time.

"None of it would've happened if it weren't for you!" I say indignantly to Iggy.

"Not true," Iggy says, but he's grinning. It's such old news by now none of us are really angry.

I shift, huff, and fall back, my head in Fang's lap. He starts running his fingers through my hair.

"Now I have to hear this story," he says.

I sigh. "Fine. I'll tell it. But only because they'll totally mess it up anyway."

I close my eyes, let Fang's finger tips grazing my scalp relax me, and begin, trying to open my mind enough to let him see, if he wants to. I say it out loud as I do, though, because we aren't the only two here, anymore.

"It was, like, two months after you disappeared," I begin softly.

_I'm supposed to be getting ready for a meeting my mom has set up with the CSM. It's a fancy, black-tie dinner banquet. There, we're going to enlist the help of the team to find him. If he's out there. Yeah, I'm supposed to be getting ready for Mom to pick us up in an hour. _

_But I'm actually standing in Aaron's backyard, my wings burning from the exercise and my hair whipping around me with the wind. I let myself in through the backdoor without knocking. Judging by the absence of vehicles in the driveway, his parents aren't home. I don't really care if his sister is home or not. I can hear music from the basement, though, so I head there. _

_He looks up as I sit next to him on the grungy couch. _

"_You…are supposed to be at a party," he says quietly. _

"_Not a party," I mumble. "And anyways, I'm not going."_

"_What now?"_

_I lean back against the couch. "They're all waiting for me to move on," I say, my throat closing up. "How can I move on when I don't even know what happened?"_

_Aaron groans, rubbing his hand on his face. "Max…I don't know what to tell you."_

"_I know."_

_He gets up, walks across the basement towards the old built-in bar. Behind it there's a mini fridge where he keeps sodas and stuff. He comes back with a Coke and I look at him._

"_Do you have anything else back there?" I ask softly. _

"_Like what?" He says, confused. _

"_Like, not a soda."_

_His eyes widen slightly, but he nods. "Uh…hang on."_

"So, obviously, Aaron enabled me instead of leaving me on my own in despair," I say, peeking through one eye at Fang, who is still listening intently and watching my face.

"I know," Aaron says from the other end of the couch. "I'm the worst. Continue."

"And I'm already, like, two hours late to the damn banquet and no one knows where I am. So, Iggy has to come find me."

"_Max?" I hear the door upstairs slam and then footsteps on the stairs. _

"_Oh, no," I mumble, shoving my glass at Aaron. "He's gonna yell at us."_

_Aaron looks very aware of this, but calmly sets the glass on the coffee table. _

_Iggy rounds into the room and trust me, even though that boy can't see, his death glares are still very effective._

"_Max? What the hell? You were supposed to be ready to go two hours ago-"_

"_Well, maybe I'm just trying to get over it," I say meanly. "Ever thought of that?" _

_Iggy stops. His eyebrows draw together. "What?"_

"_Get over it," I grit out. "Like you told Nudge. You told…you said to her that I would just get over it after the shock wears off."_

_Iggy looks shocked. "I did not! I said-"_

"_I _know_," I drawl. "You said you thought I would 'move on' at my 'own pace.' Fuck you, Iggy. That's what I think."_

_Iggy's furious again. "First of all, I told Nudge that because she asked me if you were fucking around with Aaron! Not because I'm waiting for you to get over Fang! I was trying to stand up for you!"_

_I am totally blindsided by that. "What?"_

"_Yeah," he says, his eyes narrowed. "Nudge asked me if you and Aaron were dating or something, and I said no. Even though I have no idea, because you never talk to me anymore. And even though I have no idea, because you never come home so how the hell should I know? Still, I told Nudge that you two were just grieving, and you hadn't moved on yet but might at your own pace because Nudge was afraid you already _had_."_

_That kind of sobers me for a second. "Iggy, we aren't-"_

"_Not like that matters much, now," Iggy says bitterly, resignedly, sitting next to me. "This is what you'd rather do than gather more people to look for Fang? Sit here in Aaron's basement and ignore all our calls?"_

_I sigh. "I didn't-"_

_Iggy looks at me, sniffing lightly in my direction. "Oh, my God - are you _drunk_?"_

_I can't even answer before Iggy is on his feet, glaring at Aaron. "You got her drunk? Are you stupid?" _

_Aaron threw his hands up in defense. "She asked for a drink! I only let her have a couple!" _

"_A couple? In human terms or human-avian terms?"_

_Aaron thinks for a second. "Okay, maybe too many. She's had, like…a third of this bottle." He shoves the bottle into Iggy's hands, looking completely disappointed in himself. _

"_You know she weighs, like, eighty pounds? Like a freaking twelve-year-old?"_

"_Ninety-eight," I slur quietly. "I weigh ninety-"_

"_Shut up!" Iggy says, really mad now. "Max, get up. You need to go throw up. Before you get alcohol poisoning or something."_

_Iggy yanks me to my feet. "Now, Max."_

"_Iggy, I don't-"_

"And then you barfed on Aaron's carpet?" Fang asks lightly.

I cover my face with my hands. "It isn't funny. Iggy had to lie to my mom so she didn't find out. Then, I was covered in _yuck_, so Iggy had to get me in the shower, and Aaron had to lie to _his _mom about the carpet…"

"He was so mad he didn't talk to either of us for days," Aaron says. "I mean, understandable, but…it was not funny at the time."

Aaron shrugs. "I don't know, it's kind of funny now. I mean, Max got drunk before any of us did," he says. "That liquor was my dads, I didn't even know what kind of alcohol it was Freshman year."

"Plus, Nudge actually thought Aaron and I were together," I add with a snort.

"And, technically, I got Max naked _way _before Fang did," Iggy says nonchalantly. I gasp, kicking him.

"_We don't speak of it_," I hiss, still kicking him for emphasis. "Ever!"

And then they're all laughing, and Fang's smiling, and I don't even care that it's at my expense.

I close my eyes and just enjoy it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Review? **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi. Thanks. Sorry.**

**WithoutWings: Woooo a review! I felt we needed a bit of humor after all the deep stuff. Thanks so much!**

**wickedride: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I was hoping people wouldn't think it was boring, or filler..**

**FaxFiction: Hello! Thank you! I am struggling to find time to even sit down at my computer. So, updates are sketchy. But I do have big plans for this story, and it might -unfortunately- be longer than I had hoped. We'll see. Thanks for the praise and input - glad you liked it!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Glad you liked it! That was my favorite part, too. I love Iggy.**

**Nola96: Aaron is my pride and joy, really. Thank you!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Yeah, Max and Aaron could never date. Ha.**

**Hagbre5498: I'm glad I entertain you and not confuse or bore you. Thank you!**

**KLoves2Read: It is a big darker, but I hope the reason is warranted. Thanks for giving it a shot and thanks a million times more for reviewing! It totally brightened my day to see a familiar name, commenting!**

**meeee: Well, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad I could make you enjoy some Fax for a while. (:**

**Greenwood101: I am! Finally! Yay! Thanks for the encouragement!**

MAX

I'm drifting in and out of sleep, barely paying attention, when I hear the conversation shift.

I still have my head in Fang's lap and his fingers are still running through my hair. "It doesn't happen all the time."

"Why? Does Max suck in bed?"

"Not funny," Fang says, standing up for me. "That's Max you're talking about."

They ignore him. "Probably not nearly enough," Iggy says, snickering.

I kick him, turning over and groaning. "Quit talking about me."

"Oh, look who decided to rejoin the party," Aaron says. "We were just talking about-"

"I know," I say drowsily. "And don't. Ever. At least not while I'm around to hear it."

"Why?" Iggy asks.

"Because. The last thing I want to hear about is your escapades with my sister, Aaron's escapades with God-knows-who-" I am momentarily interrupted by Aaron's indignant, _Hey! _"or, even worse, Fang's escapades with me."

"Speaking of escapades, Ella told me that Val had to buy you…_Plan B _the other day."

I gasp, glaring at Iggy. "How the hell did she know?"

He shrugs. "Dunno. But, that reminds me…Aaron, I want to raise the stakes of our bet."

"Are you kidding? That bet isn't even fair anymore since we made it back when they weren't sleeping together. I say we scrap it."

"No way," Iggy says, smirking.

I shift, sit up, and rub my forehead. "What time is it?"

"Like, two," Iggy says. "We should probably get goin'."

"Yeah, school tomorrow, Max," Aaron says. "I'll drive you guys home."

We shuffle outside and climb in the car. Aaron's playing some rock music quietly in the background. Fang's in the passenger seat, sitting still and quiet. Iggy's in the back with me.

"Hey, man, I was wondering," Aaron says, turning down the long back road that led to our house. "You think you want to start learning how to drive again?"

The idea makes me nauseas - I haven't driven since the accident and I definitely don't miss it. Still, it makes sense. With so many non-winged members of our little gang now, we needed a different mode of transportation.

"Val was teaching me," Fang says finally. "…Before."

"Good, then I won't have too much trouble reminding you the basics," Aaron says lightly. "We can start after school tomorrow."

He doesn't really leave much room for argument. Fang doesn't say anything, but it doesn't matter because we're already home.

"See you guys tomorrow," Aaron says as we pile out.

We get inside, lock up, and I head to the bathroom to shower before bed. Fang's still out there, checking all the doors and windows and whatnot. Iggy goes straight up to his room.

A couple things change when you're living with your boyfriend. Little things, first, that don't bother you so much. Like, clothes being on your bedroom floor that aren't yours. And, the sudden inability to change in your room without accidentally seducing someone. Or, the fact that the blankets always end up pulled off the bed toward him in the morning.

There are good things, too, I guess, but I haven't really been cashing in those good things in a while because our relationship is so rocky.

But tonight, it isn't weird. I dress in the bathroom, which I sometimes forget I have to do now. I come into the room in a t-shirt and shorts, shut the door quietly as to not wake the others, and slither into bed next to Fang.

Sometimes the way we fit together makes me crazy.

"Mmm, hm," I curl against him. "Tired. Hold me."

He's still in a good mood. "I am."

"Kiss me."

He tilts down his chin and kisses me lightly, his lips haphazardly matched against mine.

I smirk as he pulls away. "I have all the power. I can make you do anything I want…"

Fang raises an eyebrow. "I don't know about _anything_…"

I laugh.

"Go to sleep," he murmurs. "You have to get up early for school tomorrow."

I shift, feeling an ache in my lower back. "Can't. Uncomfortable."

Fang lets go immediately. "Sorry."

"Not you, I just…" I shift again, onto my stomach, and feeling the empty ache continue, "…don't feel good."

"I know," he says, rolling away from me and making the mattress whine as he reaches onto the table by the bed. "Here."

I hold out my hand without opening my eyes and feel something small hit my palm.

"Midol?" I croak. "Why-"

Fang rolls onto his back, reaches over again, and gets a water bottle.

"I can read your mind, remember?" he turns his head and grins at me as I sit up. "Not always as fun as I'd imagined, but still…enlightening."

I roll my eyes. "Well, thanks." I swallow the medicine and then lay back down, curling up beside him.

Fang's warm hand smoothes over the small of my back, and I try to not bask in the heat too much. It helps distract from the cramps immensely, just to have something rubbing my back.

"Fang-"

"Just…let me help you for once," Fang breathes, even though this is a stupid reason for him to pamper me. So what? I'm a girl and he isn't - no logical reason for him to have to pay for it. Not like it's his fault.

I can see, however, where he's getting this need to feel, well, _needed_. I guess the worst part about being thrown into normal life once again was that everything had gone on without him. And now, of course, we all watch him carefully and try to help him. Maybe letting him help me a bit would be good for him.

I honestly have no idea, but I don't think it could really hurt anything at this point.

"Keep doing that," I mumble. "Feels good."

He doesn't say anything, but his fingers continue rubbing my back slowly.

I think I'm close to actually falling asleep when he inquires softly, "Max?"

"Mmmhm?"

"What you said the other day? About…faking?"

I open my eyes to look at him. He's lying on his back and I'm halfway on top of him, my cheek on his shoulder. I have to lift myself up a bit to look at him.

"That bothered you, huh?" I barely have to ask. I have access to his mind, too, and know that it left it's mark. "I was just trying to piss you off. I didn't mean it."

"I know, but…" he pauses. "Never?"

"Never," I insist. "Everything between us has been real." Then, smiling a bit, I add, "At least, on _my _end."

Fang's lips twitch but he doesn't say anything.

"Do I have to prove it to you?"

Fang looks down at me, his eyebrows raised.

I snort. "Fine. But not right now. Maybe next week."

I roll off him and turn on my side and Fang sighs dejectedly, wrapping his arms around me. I can feel his breath on my shoulder.

"Upset?" I say jokingly.

"Not about the time frame," Fang promises, kissing my shoulder blade. "About the _maybe_."

I actually let out a laugh. My heart speeds up a bit and I grab his hand, which is still trying to massage my back, and pull it around me to rest on my waist. "Fine. Definitely."

"Good," Fang murmurs, now kissing my ear gently. "Because next time, I don't want it to be out of loneliness, fear or anger. I want it to be _us_."

I'm still holding his hand, and I run my thumb over his calloused hand, closing my eyes.

"It will be," I say tiredly.

"I know."

"I love you," I say.

"I know," Fang tucks me under his chin and kisses the back of my head. "Go to sleep."

• • •

"Max?"

I look up. I'm sitting alone on the bed in our room, trying to force myself to do my homework. It's the next afternoon, right after school.

Emma comes in, shuts the door, and crawls onto the soft comforter beside me. Fang is out with Aaron and Iggy - Aaron's trying to teach Fang the basics of driving again, so he can get his license.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Are you busy?"

"Oh, no, I'm just trying to-"

"Good." She looks at me, unsure, her dark eyes wide. "I want to talk to you about my mom."

I sigh, closing my binder and setting my homework aside. This'll have to wait.

"What about her?" I say.

Emma drags in a long breath.

"She wants me to come see her." She lays an envelope on the bed between us, and I stare at it in shock. Evelyn has written to Emma. I don't know why, but I never imagined that she would try to contact her daughter. Maybe I should have been prepared for this, but I am not.

"Oh."

"I told Fang, before he left, and he got really upset with me. I mean, he didn't say anything, but…"

_Shit, shit, shit. _There goes all our progress of the last few days. I chew on my lip.

Emma shakes her head and starts over. "I know she was a bad person. But…I can't fully understand until someone tells me what she did."

"It's so complicated, Emma. I don't even know where to start…"

"I need to know, Max." Emma flipped the envelope over and over in her hands, thoughtful but determined. "Please tell me what Fang won't."

**A/N: Sorry it's late and even sorrier it's short. Hopefully, I'll see you guys soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh, shit, thank you so much guys. Sorry I don't have time to do responses. **

**Quick shout out, though, to my reviews for last chapter: WithoutWings, Hagbre5498, pancakes-for-you, Stormchase, KLovesToRead, DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever, WingedArcher01, Nola96, awesomealpha11, Resisting-Moonlight and the lovely FaxFiction. Thank you, dearies. I love it. **

**Hope you like it. **

MAX

"Um…Do you want to read it?" she asks finally, offering the letter to me.

I shake my head. "No. No, that's okay. I just…am not sure where to start."

Emma frowns. "Well, I know she was bad. I know she…made mistakes. And I know she wasn't framed or anything, because she pleaded guilty in court - the officer told me that."

I nod slowly. Of course she pleaded guilty. I'd seen all the evidence they had against her. There were videos, documentations and journals of all her experiments and plans - they hadn't even needed Fang to testify.

"Do you know what she did for a living?"

"She was a doctor," Emma says. "I think."

I pause. "Em, what all do you know about our lives? Our past, I mean?"

She shrugs. "Fang doesn't want me to know. I've asked him before. About the wings, and why the only adult around is Dr. M. He…he told me it wasn't important, and that he'd tell me when I was older. Then I asked Gazzy, but I think Fang beat him to it. All Gaz would tell me was that you guys were…science experiments."

"Yeah, we were. My father and Fang's father - not the same man, mind you, I heard how that sounded - they worked together to create the six of us. As an experiment. Kind of a what-if situation."

"What if we made people that weren't just…people?" Emma cuts in.

I smile at her. "Yeah. We're only two percent bird but…it shows."

"No kidding." She looks thoughtful. "So you and Fang both know who your parents are? Why don't the others?"

"The only reason Fang and I know is because our fathers…they worked for the School - where we were made. They were involved with our lives for a long time, and they knew who had donated in order to make us. As for the others…they were random. Jeb promised me a long time ago he had no idea who their parents were."

"Jeb?"

"My father."

"Oh."

"Anyway, you're mom… she was young when she donated to the project. She helped Fang's dad, and then…he fired her."

Emma's eyebrows furrow.

"Well, everything after that is conjecture because she refused to talk, or that's what the police told me, anyways. But, the idea is that she moved away, continued working, and eventually developed her own plan. She hadn't known the details of the project, but it wasn't hard for her to find out. Especially when we started showing up online and on TV.

"We don't really know if she started out with Fang as part of her plan, or if she altered her plans once she rediscovered him. We don't know. But…eventually, she decided to use Fang as a catalyst for her idea and…she took him. I think she drugged him; he was home the night before he disappeared, and I have no idea how she could have gotten him without using some kind of tranquilizer."

I watch Emma carefully. Of course no one wants to hear awful things about their mother, but…she is a good listener. She isn't interrupting and she is fully focused on me. I hope I'm not upsetting her.

"For eight months, she had him in an isolation tank. It's kind of a…sensory deprivation chamber; it's supposed to help shut down the body's senses. Basically, your body mimics death, but you're still alive."

Emma's face twists in horror. "Why?"

Again, conjecture. But I tell her, even though I don't know if I'm supposed to or not. "To figure him out. In that time, she found out a way to block his powers. She figured out how to get into his head. It gave her time to adjust her plans."

"And…after that?"

I hesitate. This girl was curious, honest, and BA, if you ask me. But that didn't mean I had to ruin her entire childhood memory collection. She didn't need specifics. She needed closure.

"Emma…your mom loved you. There's no doubt in my mind that somewhere in there, there was a woman that really cared about you. You were her daughter. But Fang…was not her son. Not in her mind. Fang was an object. A lab rat. That's how she treated him. And it was not fair or pretty or legal. None of it."

Emma picked at a loose string on the bedspread.

"How can someone be two totally different people at once?"

I put my hand over her worrying fingers. "If you want to keep a relationship with your mom, I can't stop you. If you want to visit her, I'll take you-"

"No," Emma says softly. "I don't care if she didn't consider Fang her son. He _is _my brother. And I know he cares about me. He's a little closed-off, but I _know _he cares. He wouldn't have asked me to stay if he didn't. …Right?"

My eyes prick hotly, and I blink and nod. "Right."

Emma's eyes water, too. "I can't say I don't believe it, because she admitted to doing it. And…I feel like letting her still be apart of my life would be letting her win in some way. And I can't betray Fang like that." She wipes her eyes. "I think he's all the family I need."

• • •

Towards the evening, Iggy and Aaron come back without Fang. I look up from my book as they sit on the couch next to me.

"Where's Fang?" Aaron and I ask at the same time. My eyes widen.

"What? He was with you," I say.

"He called a quits to driving practice hours ago," Aaron says slowly. "Said he was tired and was going home."

I shoot up immediately. "Well, he never did."

"What do you mean, he never did?" Iggy demands. I go over to the door and pull on a pair of shoes.

"I mean he hasn't been home since four! I'll be back - I think I know where he might be."

I don't wait. I pull on a jacket and run out of the house, jumping into the air the moment I have enough momentum. I head straight for the cave.

Who knows how long later, we're still sitting in that cave. Our shoulders are pressed together, both of us leaning against the rough rock wall. I let out a sigh.

"Emma told you," I say softly. "That Evelyn wrote to her."

The name visible gets under Fang's skin. His jaw locks and he looks away, out the narrow cave opening, at the red sunset sky.

"It's one step forward, two steps back," he mumbles. "She's fucking _everywhere_. As soon as I think I can block it out, it comes back harder than ever. I'm starting to think I'll never get over it…"

"Blocking it out will never work," I whisper. "Acting like it didn't happen isn't the way to heal. You have to accept that it happened and that it's over."

He doesn't say anything for a long, long time, and I wait in suspense.

"Max, you're the strongest person I know," Fang says, not looking at me. His fingers are twisted with mine, his palm warm against my own. He stares out the cave opening at the dimming sky. "I wish I was half as strong as you."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing," I say quietly. "You've always been there to hold it together for me while I fell apart. You taught me how to let go. I want…to help you do the same thing."

Fang doesn't say anything.

"And I'm sorry, but I think the only way _to _help you is to make you talk to me. You need to talk about it. Just fucking get it out," I say. "I will not think any different of you if you admit that you were hurt or scared or alone. It won't change a thing. We…lived through shit like that, Fang. And I know it wasn't _nearly _the same thing, but different nightmares tormented us as kids. And without having you to pour my soul out to, those things would still haunt me _every day_."

"I know," Fang whispers.

"You freed me, from every memory that ever haunted me from the School," I say gently. "Now, let me repay the favor." 

He does. He can't jump right in to pouring out his heart to me, so first he talks softly about missing me, about imagining us moving on without him.

"I hated myself the whole time, for leaving you," Fang says gently, his fingers running up and down my jean clad leg slowly, rhythmically. "Because I'd promised. And I…I knew that you'd probably never find me. That you'd always wonder…"

I lean back against him. I vow to myself that I won't interrupt. I'll listen, I'll absorb, and when he's ready, I'll distract. But I won't interrupt. This is his time. He doesn't have to look at me; I'm sitting with my back to his chest, his chin on my shoulder. It's too dark, anyways. He can hold me and know I'm here and tell me anything. I won't speak. I won't move. I'm his captive audience, and he can burden me with anything. I hope he does.

"I couldn't figure out why she was doing it," he continues. "She would wreck me, Max…God, she would force me to near-death sometimes. And I just never knew _why_. She set me up to fail. She…she'd give me tests that I could never pass. The first month or so out of the tank, I wasn't chained up. I was being tested for physical skill. And she knew I'd fail, but made me try anyways, then she would torture me for not doing it right. How was I supposed to do it? After eight months of having my body, my senses, my _mind _in a state of paralysis? How was I supposed to manage anything?"

His fingers crawl up to my belly now, tracing my ribs and massaging my hipbones. The movement of his fingers keeps him rooted, I realize. It's hard for him to talk about all of this without being sucked into the memories.

"I almost couldn't. She had too much faith in my instinct, I guess, because I almost died from it a couple times. She pushed me too far, expected too much, and I could never handle it. Then she moved on from physical torment and started verbal. It can't even be called abuse. It was assault. Every single punishment and act of violence, she'd mention you. The others. Her goal, I think, was to relate the pain and anger to you guys."

I tense, itching to grab his hands and hold them in mine. I don't move.

"Anyways…I don't think I knew how to let her win. I don't think I had it in me to let go of that fight. I think it was you; that little piece of you that was drilled into my brain during training as kids."

I leaned my head back against his shoulder and closed my eyes as the next words drifted over me. _I hated you for that_, I hear quietly in my mind. _When she started to ruin me, when I couldn't hate anything else anymore, I hated you. Because you were the only reason I hadn't given up, and I wanted to give up so badly._

I expect more, and I wait in silence, but Fang doesn't speak again. He kisses my shoulder blade, through my cotton t-shirt, and my whole body breaks out into gooseflesh. I want to say so much, but think it's better if we just accept what he's admitted. It's out of him, which is all that matters. One less painful memory that he isn't bottling up, blaming himself for. This works. This is better.

I could baby him, but instead I let silence take over us for a while. It gets pitch black outside and his words have fully settled before I say softly, "How deep do you think it goes?"

I stand up and move slowly into the darkness. After a second, I feel Fang's presence beside me. I mold my fingers with his and step tentatively further into the darkness. Fang explores beside me, silently.

"Not too far," he says, lifting our hands to the cold cave wall.

So it was only about ten feet deep. It was still cool; the stalactites dangled like crystals and there were natural rock formations.

"I like this place," I say. "Our place."

"Yeah," Fang murmurs. "Whenever we miss hanging out in caves…"

I laugh, looking at him. I can just make him out in the darkness. He looks like a weight has been lifted off him. Not the entire weight, not nearly the entire weight. But for a second, he looks relieved.

_I'd _done that for him. Maybe I didn't suck so bad at this, after all. Maybe I could help him. Just slowly.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi friends. **

**Okay, the one downside to this story is that I will have to do **_**some **_**time-skips. That happens in this chapter, but it's important, because even though you guys might not care, I cannot make this story 100 chapters long. I just can't. Plus, some of the filler chapters would get **_**really **_**boring. Gotta move along with the next few stages of Fang's recovery. There's mental, physical, and social. And we're getting there. I promise. **

**Upside? Two updates in 24 hours! Talk about being spoiled…**

**Stormchase: If Evelyn weren't in jail, I have no doubt she'd fight tooth and nail for custody. But she's in jail. Thank God! Thank you for the review… (:**

**WithoutWings: Thank you! I try. I'm glad you like the way I dealt with Emma. I think that I had a lot of holes in the trilogy, and I know that this is helping clear it up. Again - thank you!**

**FaxFiction: Yeah, we're only about 1/3 of the way through this story - if even that. His mental healing was first and foremost, but there's more. I'm very excited. I hope you are, too. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback!**

**Flytothemax97: Thank you! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Well, hopefully you don't feel too bad for him in this chapter. ;)**

**Nola96: I'm so glad! I mean, not that Fang wrecks you, but that this is clearing up so many "but what about…" questions I know we all had. **

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: Oops, sorry. That won't happen in this chapter. I think. I hope. Thank you, ma'am!**

**NOTICE: This one specifically is for Nola96. She knows why. ;)**

**M WARNING: Remember that time in **_**Consequences **_**when Fang said they did it in the car? Yeah, um…**

MAX

Three entire weeks later, many things have happened.

Nudge preformed amazingly in her play at school. She was really excited for Fang to see her, especially because she had one of the main parts this time. It turned out great, and the whole flock plus Mom and Ella went to see her. Fang bought her flowers for afterwards, and I've never seen Nudge that entirely happy.

Fang got his license, around the time we found him a decent used car online. This meant that Aaron no longer had to cart around our non-winged members. This also means that now Fang had to. I know he is kind of annoyed _sometimes_, but for the most part, having Emma or Holden ask Fang for help, even with this, is helping him a bit. I think.

Aaron broke up with Emily - _again_. They were a very unstable couple, honestly, and all the flip-flopping was giving us all whiplash. Anyways, the break up meant that Aaron was around more than usual - if you can even imagine _that_.

Nudge went on three dates with the same guy. His name is Isaac, he's in her grade, and so far I haven't noticed anything about him that makes me want to seriously kick his ass. We'll give him some time.

And through all this, one thing _hasn't _happened. Unfortunately.

I crawl into bed at almost midnight, groaning into my pillow.

"Fang, I know I said we'd do this, like, weeks ago, but…I'm so tired. Can we give it a rain check?"

He doesn't say anything. I dive into his mind, but the weird thing is that he isn't thinking much. That is not the brain activity of a normal, awake person. Jeez.

"Fang." I thump his shoulder.

"What, babe?" he mumbles sleepily, reaching out and pulling me to him. "Say somethin'?"

I smile tiredly into his chest. "No. Night."

So sue me. Trying to keep life normal for the others while helping Fang battle his inner demons is not easy. Plus, it isn't like I'm missing alone time with him. I mean, our dreams count, right?

In the morning, Fang hits me with something big.

"I want to go back to school."

I throw a pair of jeans onto the bed and turn around, looking in the closet for a shirt. It's Friday morning, about six thirty, and way too early.

"What?"

"Yeah. My classes online are all done."

I look over my shoulder at him. I know this isn't just Fang being studious. He hates sitting home alone all day, just with his thoughts to keep him company. And, he has been making progress; we haven't had a big episode since Evelyn tried to write to Emma. Maybe this is what he needs.

But…What if he isn't ready? What if the smooth-sailing of the last few weeks wasn't real, and school is a rude awakening?

I bite my lip, still digging in the closet.

"I'm ready," Fang says simply.

_Trust him. You aren't his guardian and you don't make his decisions_, I remind myself. _You stand by his choices and pick up the pieces if he happens to make the wrong one. _

"Okay. When?"

Fang doesn't say anything right away.

I turn around, pulling my shirt off the hanger and onto the bed.

"Monday?"

He just looks at me, gauging my reaction.

"I'll talk to the counselor today," I say decisively. I turn around and pull off my shirt, quickly replacing it with the other one. "Maybe she'll be able to figure it quick enough for Monday. You'll probably be stuck in bullshit classes until next semester, but oh well."

"That's fine."

"Okay," I say. "Good." I yank on my jeans, then glance in the mirror to see my hair is as atrocious as usual. I decide to throw it up in a bun, which is a messy look that I can _rock_. No matter how much Nudge says I'm killing my hair.

I move out of the room to the bathroom, where I squeeze between Iggy and Angel and grab my toothbrush. Once I finish brushing, I shove my way out of the bathroom again and down the stairs. Fang's in the kitchen in his sweats and a grey shirt, pouring chocolate milk into three glasses.

"Can I stay home?" Nudge asks in a whine, shoving two textbooks into her backpack.

"No," I say. Fang hands me a glass of milk and I chug it down, stealing an apple from the bowl on the counter. As I eat my apple, the others finish getting ready. But the time it's almost seven, we're on our way out the door.

Fang slides into the driver's seat of his car, Holden, Emma and Gazzy - deep in conversation with Fang's sister - already in tow. He drives them, now. Sometimes Nudge, too, when she doesn't want to ruin her hair.

"Bye," I murmur, kissing him gently. "I'll see you later. Be careful."

"I will. …Thanks," he says, his eyes searching mine. "I mean, for not…just thanks."

I kiss him again before running down the driveway and joining the others in the air.

• • •

It's the end of the day and I'm shoving my books into my locker when Aaron scares the crap out of me.

I shoot him a withering look as we both bend down to pick up my stuff.

"Sorry," he says offhandedly. "Anyways, go home, get the boys and come to my house."

"Why?"

"I'm throwing a party."

I still don't get it. "Why?"

Aaron sneers at me, but it seems nothing can ruin his mood right now. "Just…get your ass to my house as soon as you can. Park in the garage."

"Wait - _why_?" I demand. But it doesn't matter, he's already disappeared into the crowd of teenagers. I finally get my books situation and slam my locker. Iggy and Ella are heading down the hall toward me.

"Hey, did Aaron tell you-"

"Yeah," Ig says. "People have been talking about it all day."

I groan. I'd had it in my head that Fang and I could spend some one-on-one time tonight. Looks like that isn't happening.

"Let's just…get home."

Ella comes home with us because Iggy plans on dragging her to Aaron's later. Fang is already up to date on the plan, too. As soon as I say, "Hey-"

He says: "Go get ready. Aaron wants us over in five."

I glare at him and head upstairs. I don't know what exactly about my outfit I'm supposed to change. I switch my worn-out jeans to light-wash skinny jeans and pull a sweatshirt over a black tank top.

I make my way back downstairs. Ella already looks adorable from school in a casual blue dress and a cream cardigan. I look at the others.

"Okay, we're going to Aaron's. Holden, you coming?"

"No, thanks. I have plans with some friends, but we might stop by."

"Okay. Nudge, you guys good alone tonight?"

"Yeah, we're having a movie night," Nudge says motioning to a stack of DVDs. "Fang got us movies while we were at school."

I'm starting to see just how premeditated this was.

"Okay, let's go," Iggy says, clapping.

"Why are we going so early?" Ella mumbles, sliding into the backseat with Ig.

"Because we have to help him party-proof his house," Iggy says.

I roll my eyes. A couple minutes later, we're driving down Aaron's secluded driveway.

"He wants you in the garage, Fang."

"I know," Fang says, pulling into the garage carefully in Aaron's mom's spot.

As soon as we're out of the car, Aaron is standing in the doorway to his house, closing us into the dark garage.

"Parents are in Chicago visiting my grandpa and sister is sworn to secrecy. Let's get to work."

We spend an hour helping Aaron get his house ready for his dumb party. Iggy is hooking up music to Aaron's surround-sound and Fang's in the kitchen, filling bowls with chips and things. I walk into the kitchen and stop.

"Why-"

"It's a keg."

I make a face at Aaron. "I know what it is. Why do you have one?"

"Because," Aaron says seriously. "If I'm going to be the kid in our grade with the best parties, I have to start, like, yesterday."

I roll my eyes. Aaron shoves bags of plastic cups into my arms and points to the keg. "Set up the drink station."

"Don't tell me what to do," I say back, but head over there anyways.

"What time did you tell people to come?" Ella calls.

Aaron stops. "Was I _supposed _to give a specific time?"

To answer that question, someone knocks on the door.

• • •

Five hours later, the party is in full swing. It's almost ten and I swear everyone I know is here - and then maybe a hundred I don't know. I understand now why Aaron wanted us in the garage. Even though a ton of people carpooled, there are cars all up and down his long, gravel driveway.

"You're going to have a ton of people sleeping over."

"Everyone that came in the door had a DD," Aaron says. "I'm not stupid. They're all wearing these."

He pulls out one of those sparkly cone party hats that has DD written on it sloppily in permanent marker. What's sad? I look around and he's _right_. People actually are wearing them, besides a few who have them strung around their necks or in their hands. How does he get people to do this shit?

Just as I'm about to voice that, Fang comes up with a cup in his hand. Wonderful.

"Well, looks like we're staying," I say to Aaron. There's no way I want to drive tonight. He shrugs.

"I figured you would. I called Nudge about an hour ago."

"Wanna go play pool?" Aaron says to Fang, who shrugs. I see Ella and Iggy across the living room and go into the kitchen. I grab a handful of chips, make small talk with some girls from my English class, then find myself totally bored. Just around the time that song _Complete _comes on, and I'm feeling anything but.

I need Fang.

I head downstairs to see Aaron and Fang playing pool with a few guys. Iggy and Ella are on the couch, talking to some other kids I slightly recognize.

I go up to Fang and touch his arm. He's strategizing the game, his eyes raking over the table for the best move.

"Hey," he says distractedly, dropping a kiss on my head.

"Hey," I say. I tug on his arm. "Come with me."

"Hm? What?" He actually looks at me, now. I look at him pointedly.

His eyes widen slightly. "Ig, come play for me."

"How the hell do you expect me to do that?" Iggy calls. "I'd have to touch everything on the table just to get a chance!"

Aaron laughs. "Whatever. Fang's out."

Fang rolls his eyes and follows me upstairs. I drag him into the garage, chase of a few stragglers in the corner who are smoking, and shut the door connecting the garage to the house. Then I climb into the backseat of the car.

"Too crowded for you?" Fang asks. He's still holding the drink I saw him with half an hour ago. Good. 'Least he's not going crazy.

I nod, grabbing the keys from his jacket pocket.

"Don't start it," Fang says, leaning back against the seat. "Unless you want to die from toxic gas."

I sneer at him over my shoulder while I lean over the console, turning the key backwards. That way, I don't start the engine, but we can turn on the radio. I scoot backwards after turning the music up a bit and Fang pulls me back with one arm.

I don't know if that's his first drink or not, but he is definitely relaxed. He isn't drunk, maybe not even buzzed, but I think this party, with people who aren't just me and the flock, is helping him wonderfully. He doesn't feel like such an outcast anymore. He's happy.

He's even happier as he shoves his cup into my hand and pulls me closer, his hands going around to admire the back pockets of my jeans.

"Hold my drink while I ravage you," he grumbles, kissing my lips softly.

I smirk, pull away, and put his drink in the cup holder up front.

"I think I'm going to need my hands," I mumble, pulling off my sweatshirt. I'm wearing a tank top, but Fang looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Here?" he asks incredulously. "I was kidding!"

"It's been like a month," I say. "For me. And that hand job fumble shouldn't count for you."

Fang shrugs his jacket off. "I think it counts."

"I miss you. I wanted to spend some time together tonight, just the two of us, but Aaron demanded to have this dumb party…"

"But…here? Are you _sure_?"

I roll my eyes. I _know _he wants this. "Whether you want to or not, this body moves like clockwork," I say, pointing to myself. "Been almost a month, remember? If you want to wait another _whole _week-"

"No," Fang murmurs. "I definitely don't want to do that. Come here."

I grin for a second before Fang's lips are on mine. I can't say the taste of beer is much of a turn on, but I pull him close, anyways, nipping at his lips. Fang unbuttons my jeans and then, after trying to yank the skin-tight fabric off, says, "You'll have to do that part."

It isn't comfortable, but we manage to lose the bottom half of our clothing pretty quick.

We keep our shirts on because though we're secluded, we're still surrounded by windows.

"Condom," I gasp.

Fang's eyes widen. "Shit, I don't-"

I reach down to his jeans, find his wallet, then pull out the small package I'd stuck in there weeks ago.

"You're a genius," Fang comments.

"You're welcome."

Fang rolls over, pulling me on top, and I freeze.

"What?" he whispers.

I look down at him, blinking the sleep away. "I don't know how to be on top."

Fang smiles, still running his fingers over my skin. He looks entranced. "You were born to lead, Max, you'll be fine."

"Fang, seriously," I mumble, too nervous. He shifts under me and helps me get positioned, and the whole time I'm not sure what I'm doing. "Can't we-"

"What? We're six feet tall. Horizontal is not going to work for very long in here," Fang says reasonably, motioning to the length of the backseat.

So this is how we end up. Fang is sitting in the middle seat and my legs are on either side of him. I have _no idea _what I'm doing…

But how can I regret something like this?

Fang whispers a curse to my collarbone as he slides home and I close my eyes, trying to stay relaxed so we don't struggle with this part like the last two times. My body clenches involuntarily, but I feel my muscles relax quickly, yielding to him. I groan, wrapping my arms around him.

"Okay."

"It's different this way," Fang murmurs, his breath on my face as we hold each other.

I know what he's really referring to, but I smile anyways. "Awake?" I joke, and he lets out a breath that could be considered a laugh.

His eyes are soft and open to me, and I can see his emotions. He's calm. This is drastically different from the last time, and not just because we're both coherent. This is like the first time, where we went slow and we bumped and fumbled but I could see the love in his eyes. This is just like that. It makes my whole body shake.

He kisses down the side of my face while I accommodate him, breathing slowly. His large hands hold my sides and we're pressed together completely as I lean against him. It's intense this way, really intense, and I have to take a second to find my pace.

"Ah! - It _is _different," I gasp, grabbing his shoulders blindly as we move.

"Sorry," Fang whispers.

"Don't." I mean to say, _Don't apologize_, but the word dies in my throat and I'm too caught up in this anyways. My voice sounds barely there, almost just a breath. My hand touches his cheek and he moves his head, pressing his lips gently to my palm. "Do it again. I - _augh_."

He stops again. "Does it hurt?"

I hum, still moving, but Fang moves to carefully roll us over, thinking the position is hurting me.

"No," I gasp, putting my hands on the seat by his shoulders. "…Let me."

I see it flash in his eyes. _She likes it this way. _That thought drifts to me from his mind. I nod, squeezing my eyes shut. I try different movements, I try to find some method that doesn't make my thighs burn. I try to watch him and feel him and go slow all at the same time, which proves impossible. I try to make him make _that _noise again, the soft groan that he'll never admit came from his throat.

He watches me, his eyelids heavy.

I press my face into the crook of his neck and groan, rotating my hips and moving on him jerkily. "_Fang_," I breathe, gripping his arms while I move.

His hands, that are resting on my thighs, move up to my hips and help me for a few quick strokes, pulling me farther up than I've been willing to go on my own. I try not to mewl helplessly and fail _miserably_.

"God, Max," he lets out in a groan, his movements stalling.

"Wait, wait," I gasp. "I…I…need…"

He rolls me over, reading my mind. He spreads my legs with his and presses into my harder and I bite my lip to keep from making any noise.

"_Unh_…your hand."

He looks at me weird, letting go of my hip and resting his palm on my abdomen, like, _here ya go._ I whimper, grabbing his hand in mine.

"Fang," I croon softly, pulling him closer. I move our hands down, down, down, between us, right above where he's rocking into me. With my fingers behind his, I press down, show him how I want him to touch me. He catches on immediately, whether he's great at sign language or at reading my mind, because I definitely can't tell him with words what I want right now. I'm way too past words.

"Don't stop…I…Fang, just…_kiss me_," I gasp. His lips are smashing against mine before I even get the plea out, and I kiss him deeply while I go kind of unconscious for a second. My head jerks back and I let out a sound I didn't even know I could make and Fang's lips suck hard on my throat.

He has to take over after that, once my muscles are rendered useless. It only takes him a few more times and then I'm holding him, draped over him, kissing his neck while he comes to me quietly.

"Love you," I breathe softly.

"Mmm, I love you," Fang returns with gentle kisses on my face. We sit together, still totally warpped around each other, breathing and coming down from that experience.

Then, I can hear voices over the music playing through the speakers of Fang's car.

"_Dude, look - is this car running_?"

**A/N: Yowza. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I JUST UPDATED 11 HOURS AGO AGH I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER. **

**Dawh. Thank you guys. I am so happy. More reviews = way faster updates. These chapters are just sitting around waiting to be uploaded, honestly. And as long as I get some decent reviews, I have no qualms with updating every 12 hours. **

**And, as long as my wonderful reviewers promise to review for every chapter, even if they're all uploaded in one day, I'm willing to continue spoiling y'all as long as I can!**

**awesomealpha11: "Deep but fluffy" is definitely my forte. Aaron is definitely one of my favorites to write, ever. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for taking the time to review for me, I totally appreciate it. **

**Hagbre5498: I love it when you review for my stories! It's definitely in my top 10 of "favorite things." I'm not even kidding. Something about this story - more than any of the other ones - has me totally anxious for feedback. It's a touchy genre and a touchy topic, not to mention my first time publishing lemons…I'm just so glad this is not crashing and burning like I'd imagined! Thank you! **

**KLoves2Read: Yeah, I figured they deserved a pleasant experience, in contrast to their earlier fumbles. They're figuring it out. Glad you liked it! (And THANK YOU so much for the double reviews!)**

**kateflowrchild13: Fang's day back at school will come up soon. Hope you love it! I worked my ass off on it. Also…I am writing you an Eggy oneshot. I figured you definitely deserved it, because almost every review you've ever left me in TMW mentions that ship. It will be out soon, hopefully. I'm just…struggling to finish it up perfectly. Hope you love that, too! Thanks so much for reviewing, girl. I love it. **

**Nola96: I knew you would be happy! I love you, too, for reviewing so wonderfully each time! Plus, you **_**asked **_**for the car scene… and it was just too tempting to resist. They are adorably awkward and open with each other. That's something I really, really love about their relationship. We'll dip into Fang's mind a lot more. Like I said…only 1/3 of the way through the story. He's got a ways to go. Thank you so so much for the reviews!**

**FaxFiction: You made me laugh out loud with your epiphany review. I'm glad you made the connection and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm no pro at M, not like you, but I'm trying. I don't think it's weird that you chose "pretty." Their relationship is beautiful, really, so I totally understand. I'm so psyched that you are excited to read this. Is that weird? That I still get totally blown away by the fact that people want to read my stuff? Gah. I hope every chapter in this story makes you guys happy. Especially you, because you kind of kicked me in the ass and made me write it. Haha!**

**Stormchase: I'm glad I got such a shaken, happy, Nudge-worthy reaction for the last chapter! I was really glad with how the chapter turned out, too. Fang will have an episode, but not like he's had in the past. You'll see. I'm real excited. Thanks so much for reviewing. You take a lot of time to review and the long responses really encourage me to write and update ASAP.**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Glad you don't pity him too much anymore. ;) Yeah, car sex is usually always more fun. Definitely. Thank you so much!**

MAX

"We're in trouble," I rasp in Fang's ear.

"Fuck, I'm too tired for this."

I look at him, shocked. I mean, sure, we did just have sex three seconds ago, but _come on_. "You are such a _guy_. Wake up, Fang, we just got caught!"

"We were done," Fang argues, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

I thump him on the head. "Who knows how long they were out there!"

Fang shushes me.

"_I think there's someone in there_," a voice says.

I'm tempted to just yell, _There is, go away! _But Fang has his hand over my mouth. He gives me a look and thinks, _Not a word_.

_What are we gonna do? _I think nervously.

Fang smirks. _I have an idea. _

Holding me secure on his lap, he starts moving to get the car shaking. This is how he's going to scare them off? I almost laugh, but then the movement actually has the wrong effect - because we're still, ahem, _connected _\- and I squeak out a sound, grabbing his biceps.

"Stop, stop stop _stop_," I hiss. Fang looks at me in amusement while he feels my exhausted muscles spasm around him. "Too much."

"_Dude, there are definitely people in there_."

Someone laughs. "_Wonder who's car this is. Think it's Aaron_?"

"_Get it, Ron_!"

"_You go, man_!"

I make a face at Fang. "Ew."

Fang, who has a more typical boy-mind than most think, is thinking, _Who the hell calls Aaron "Ron"?_

Just when we think we're in the clear, we hear: "What are you guys doing in here? Go inside."

"Whatever, man," one kid says, still laughing. The other one is not laughing anymore.

"Dude, if Aaron's out here…" _Lightbulb_. "Aaron, someone's getting laid in your car."

"That isn't my - oh, hell. Go inside."

For a second, we don't hear anything. Fang and I stare at each other, hanging in suspense. Then: _bam! _Something like a fist slams down on the roof of the car and I yelp in surprise. I don't think he can see in because the windows are tinted - and a bit steamed up. Either way, I burrow into Fang and he wraps his jacket around me.

"_What. The. Fuck_," Aaron seethes, his voice muffled.

Fang starts laughing, his shoulders shaking while his arms tighten around me.

"_Gross_!"

"We're just talking!" I cry, smacking Fang's chest for thinking it's funny.

"_Oh, bullshit. If you're just talking, open the door_!"

"Well, okay, hold on-"

"_God_."

A second later the garage door closes and I frown at Fang. He's still chuckling, so it's hard for me to keep a straight face. I end up grinning at him, against my will, and smack his chest again. "It isn't funny."

Fang just shakes his head, shifting me off his lap. "I love you, Max."

I smile at him before reaching for my pants. "_So_, how is it seeing everyone again?"

"It's…well, it's preparing me for Monday."

I plant both feet on the floorboard and lift my ass off the seat, yanking my jeans on. The mess between my legs isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but oh well.

"Yeah. Goodwin - that counselor at school - figured out a schedule for you for Monday. I mean, you're in shit classes like Film Studies and Keyboarding, but you'll be there. And we have lunch together."

Fang kisses me then opens the car door, sliding out. "Awesome."

He gets rid of the condom and I turn off the car, closing the door. Fang grabs the keys from me and slides back in, turning the car on for a second to roll down all the windows a little bit. He grins at me as he closes the door and pockets the keys. I hold out his beer to him. As soon as we open the door, Aaron is standing there with an angry look on his face.

"Um," I start, but Aaron holds up a hand.

"Don't have sex in my house ever again."

"We didn't!"

"Okay," Fang says, taking a drink.

Aaron just looks pointedly at me.

I sigh. "Fine. Whatever." I shove past him and head towards the bathroom. I throw over my shoulder, "Don't tell Iggy."

Aaron snorts. "Hell no! I want to pretend this never happened!"

Totally worth it.

• • •

I wake up in a bed.

Which, duh, is fine. Except this bed is smaller than mine. And it smells like aftershave that isn't Fang's.

I'm in Aaron's bed.

I roll off the mattress, and notice something else. I'm in a pair of borrowed shorts, and my jeans are folded neatly on Aaron's desk. How hospitable of them.

I push out of the shorts and pull on my jeans, then head downstairs. It's mid-clean-up, and I stand on the bottom stair, watching with interest - and disbelief, if I'm honest.

"Hey," Aaron says, shoving a bunch of empty cups into a heavy-duty trash bag. "Morning."

"Hey - is my boyfriend vacuuming?"

Aaron nods, picking up a forgotten sweatshirt from the recliner. He gives it a whiff then cringes and stuffs it into the trash bag.

"I've never…seen Fang vacuum before." I don't know why, but that's so weird to me…and a bit sad. I mean, if we hadn't lost two whole years, maybe I would've seen him doing normal things like this all the time. But, as I really think about it, this is the first time I've ever seen Fang wield a vacuum cleaner.

"Yeah, well, he's doing it. And your…whatever-you-call-him is in the kitchen, disinfecting, well, _everything_."

I smirk. "My _whatever-you-call-him_?"

Aaron straightens up and grins. "Well, yeah, I don't know what you call Ig."

Amused, I bite. "My friend, when he isn't pissing me off. My brother, when I'm feeling especially generous. And my dipshit son, when he really fucks up."

He laughs. "I'd love to hear what I am."

I take the trash bag from him and hold it open while he starts tossing littered cups and plates and…okay, I think that is a sock into it. "Thanks for letting me sleep in your room."

"Well, you were conked out first. We thought it was only fair. You can guess why I didn't let Fang sleep up there with you, I'm sure," he says with a scornful look.

I blush. "Yeah. I can guess."

I help Aaron for a bit before something bumps the back of my heels. I spin around to see Fang, moving the vacuum in for another hit. I jump out of the way and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Morning."

"Morning," I say. "Where's Ella?"

"You missed so much," Aaron says from behind me. "After you fell asleep, Ig flew Ella home. Val may not have a curfew for you, but she does for Ella."

I glance into the kitchen. "He flew Ella home…then came back?"

Aaron grins. "The party was just getting started."

"Yeah," Fang says, elbowing me. "The chaperone had just fallen asleep, after all."

"Chaperone? _Me_? Sorry, I was too busy doing unmentionable things in the backseat of someone's car," I hiss, elbowing Fang back.

We clean Aaron's house. Not spotless, because he doesn't want his parents to be suspicious or anything. But by the time Aaron's sister gets home, she glances around the living room and then nods at us once.

"Nice work," she says.

So, Aaron figures we're in the clear.

"We should get home," I say. "Mom wants us all to have dinner tonight at her house, and I want to make sure the others survived the night."

"Nudge texted me about an hour ago," Fang says. "Seems like they're all alive."

"Texts can be misleading," Iggy says. "I'm ready to go. I need a shower."

"I second that motion," I say, standing up. "Where's my sweatshirt?"

"Upstairs," Fang says, finding his shoes. "I think it was on Aaron's desk, by your pants."

I nod. I hurry up the stairs and search for my sweatshirt, but don't see it. The door opens behind me and I spin around to see Aaron.

"Fang told me he's coming to school Monday," Aaron says cautiously.

"Yeah, we got it all worked out," I say. "Why?"

Aaron hesitates. "You don't think…it's too soon?"

"He says he's ready," I say, looking at him. I stop my frantic searching to read Aaron's expression. "He's gotten better. Haven't you seen him the past few days?"

"Yeah," he says quietly. "And I saw him a couple weeks ago, strangle Nudge on the couch."

I chew on my cheek. I don't want to argue with Aaron. "It's not our choice. He says he's ready, I'm not going to hold him back."

"And when something at school upsets him? When he isn't around one of us, or someone he recognizes, and he lashes out like he did with Nudge?"

I narrow my eyes. "Aaron - this shit is already hard enough. Fang needs you right now, _on his side_."

"I am on his side!" Aaron argues. "But…I think he needs more time before jumping right back into school."

"Really? That's funny. You didn't think twice about pushing him into a scenario with obnoxious teenagers and booze! What do you think is worse? Putting him with irresponsible kids and alcohol, or sitting him in a classroom with a freaking math equation?"

"Maybe you should just _fuck _the problems out of him!" he says mockingly. "Hasn't that been working so far?"

I work my jaw furiously. That hurt. I huff in a pained amusement, looking away from him. "I can't believe you just said that to me." As I force myself to look anywhere else but at him, I see my sweatshirt on the chair by his door. I move for it and snatch it up.

"See you Monday," I say, taking his stairs two at a time. Fang has already pulled out of the garage and has the car running and I walk out Aaron's front door straight to the vehicle.

Fang looks at me as I slide into the backseat. He knows what just happened. He looks up, sees Aaron standing in his doorway, and looks at me again.

"You didn't have to do that."

I heave a sigh, slumping in my seat and resting my head on the cushiony backrest behind me. "I know."

We sit there in silence for a second.

_He didn't mean it, _Fang thinks. That's debatable, but I let it slide. Iggy, unaware of how serious the situation really is, shifts in his seat.

"Can we get some food on the way home? I'm starving."

Fang looks at me questioningly, and though I know he isn't asking me about the food, I answer with, "Food. Please. Now."

**A/N: Gah. I like writing fights way more than I like writing lemons. **

**Meh, just kidding. I love writing them equally as much.**

**Review, please! What do you think will happen at school? And, how are Max and Aaron going to make up? Plus, how would you like to see Fang's healing challenged in the near future? **

**ALSO: Any Fax ideas? I have some up my sleeve, but I'm open to suggestions. **

**Tell me!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Guys…we're at 94 reviews…that's _really damn cool_.**

**AND I have the epilogue written. Too soon?**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: The fact that you review for me at all is heartwarming enough. Take your time! And thank you so much!**

**Faxlover: Gah, thank you! I will try my hardest to make this story worth your while, lemons and all.**

**flytothemax97: I love the angst, too. I adore writing angst. It's so fun. Thank you!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Aaron has his own reasons for his attitude. They're all stressing out, and they're pitted against each other. We've got a ways to go still. I'm so excited. **

**KLoves2Read:He's extremely considerate ;) Thank you so much!**

**akwardllama: Max and Aaron have a great relationship. This story is just as much about friendship as it is about relationship and healing. Thank you!**

**Pancakes-for-you: Your reviews make my entire day! Thanks so much for the feedback. I love and hate reading in class. So hard to hold in the reactions!**

**Nola96: Thank youuuuu! Who doesn't adore Aaron? He's so wonderful. I wish he was my brother. School will be interesting, but…I'm not spoiling anything. (:**

**Guest: Thank you! I have no idea, Fax is my main fix on here. **

**Stormchase: Aaron really does just care about them…oh, well. They'll figure it out. Fang's first day of school will be interesting, too. Keep reading and reviewing, your long reviews make me so happy! (And good theories!)**

**FaxFiction: You like having questions to answer? I will keep that in mind! (: Thanks for the wonderful feedback. Fang has been having a small lapse of good behavior, but things don't always stay positive. Eventually, he'll crack. But…we all knew that was coming. Thank you!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Right? I figured that summed Iggy up in one quote. Haha! Thank you!**

**WithoutWings: Well, I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks!**

**Sorry, this one is kind of short. But…I decided to cut the chapter in half. Second half **_**hopefully **_**soon!**

**M WARNING: Nothing really happens yet, but Fang gets very hands-y...and mouth-sy (mouthy?)...in this chapter. **

MAX

"What if I just let it slide and he thinks he's right? I mean… I don't want him to think…"

"He's just worried about you," Fang says. "And me. But… I'll talk to him, if you want."

That is true. I can tell Aaron is worried about us; he has been since he witnessed Fang's episode with Nudge. But…

"There isn't a manual telling us how to deal with this, step by step," I say softly. "What does he expect from us?"

"He doesn't understand," Fang says. _No one really understands our relationship - fuck, I don't know if I even understand it sometimes. But…we have our own process. We're doing fine. _

Again, Fang makes a solid point.

"Just…what am I supposed to say to him to show him he's wrong?" I mumble, staring up at the ceiling. "_Oh, well, Fang and I only fucked to escape the pain and fear once. After that we decided it wasn't our forte_."

We're laying in our room Saturday afternoon. The TV is on but neither of us are paying attention. I was reading, by my mind kept going back to Aaron's words. Not like I was really going to hold a big grudge, because I'd said shit to hurt him, too.

But his words got me thinking.

"Twice."

"What?"

"Twice," Fang comments. "We did it twice…for that reason."

I glance at him. "When?" I mean, unless I was _really _asleep that time…

Fang snorts at my thoughts. "The angry hand job. Then the…even angrier blowjob."

I cover my face with my hands, groaning.

_I mean, if all I have to do is piss her off-_

"Stop it," I laugh, pushing his arm. "Seriously. And…that time doesn't count."

"Why not?" Fang asks. "Counts for me."

"Well, you got off and I didn't," I say without thinking.

"We could reconcile that debt _now_…"

"We _could_… Gah, Fang. What should I do?"

Obviously, the question is about Aaron. Fang, however, is done talking about the issue with Aaron. He rolls over, supports himself over me, and grins.

"What should you do? Close your eyes, relax, and only speak to scream out my name in unending pleasure."

I roll my eyes, then lean up and kiss him quickly before settling back against the pillows. _Twice in two days. I'm a lucky girl._

While I reach over to grab a condom, Fang scoots down the bed, taking my shorts with him. As soon as those are out of the way, he grabs my ankles and pulls my legs apart, pushing them up so my knees are bent. I squeak out in surprise. He looks up at me and we both freeze.

"What are you doing?" we both ask simultaneously.

Fang's staring at the foil package in my hand, and I'm staring at him like he's crazy.

"I don't need a condom."

I raise an eyebrow, not getting it. "What, so now you're _magic_?"

What could be a grin flashes over Fang's features. "Do you…know how this works?"

"I mean I'm not a pro, but we've done it a few times that I think I get the gist."

Fang shakes his head. "No, Max. No. I'm not going to have sex with you."

I fall back against my pillows. "Then can I close my legs?"

It isn't comfortable, laying splayed open this way. Yes, we've had sex, but he's never really looked down there before. Like, really looked. And now, he's _looking_.

"No. I told you I was going to level the score."

I sigh. "Well how - ew, no!"

I try scooting backwards but Fang grabs my hips.

"Why?"

"It's…it's…"

"You did it for me."

I gape at him. "For like _two seconds_!"

We're stopped by a knock on our door. "Can I come in?"

"No!" I call, wiggling out of Fang's arms. I smack a kiss on his cheek while I get up and reach for my shorts. "Sorry. Maybe next time."

After I have pulled on my pants, I open the door to see Nudge.

"What's up, kid?"

"We have to leave for Dr. M's in like an hour," Nudge says. "Just a heads up."

"Okay," I say, glancing back at Fang who's sitting on the bed innocently. "I'm taking a shower."

Nudge shrugs. "Long as you're ready in time," she says. "Dr. M is making fajitas and I'm _not _missing out on that."

I laugh, brushing past her towards the bathroom. I strip down and heat up the water, then step into the shower and pull the curtain closed. I brush my hair over my shoulders, letting the scalding water douse it. As I turn around to grab the shampoo, something wraps around me from behind and I almost scream. Thankfully, he predicted that and covers my mouth.

_What the hell are you doing?_

Fang's lips are by my ear when he says, "I know what Aaron said has you all worried. But guess what, Max? I'm not at 100% yet? Oh, well. At least right here, with you, I'm more than enough. I don't want you because you're an escape. I want you because _I've always wanted you…_" He turns me around and nips at my lips teasingly.

_Oh, holy God_. I think my heart stops because Fang gives me one last hard kiss and then drops to his knees in front of me. His fingers of one hand slide up my leg to my knee, where he lifts my leg and pulls my foot off the ground; I whimper, grabbing the wall to my left cautiously, and watch him look at me.

When he rests my leg over one of his shoulders I almost _die_, for real.

…_And now I can have you. _

**A/N: Guh. **

**Review please! I understand that it's short and not much happened, but otherwise it would've been a chapter with, like, five scenes all stuffed together. I don't want it too rushed. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I really CANNOT BELIEVE that my 100****th**** reviewer just said, "You tease :P" **

**Pancakes-for-you, you are evil! (Thanks, though.)**

**I have to work ten hours today, so lots of reviews would be a beautiful welcome home present. I also have to leave for that shitty shift in about ten minutes, so I can't do my big long responses. I'm still going to try! **

**Hagbre5498: Thank you! Uh, we aren't done with Aaron, but it won't be horrible. He's just worried, afterall. He and Max have a dynamic relationship. **

**Guest: Well, here ya go!**

**KLoves2Read: Oh, she…she finds out. **

**Faxlover: I know, I suck. And thank you! I worked really hard to develop an OC that wasn't horrible. **

**Flytothemax97: Sorry! Here! Thanks for the review. (:**

**Pancakes-for-you: …**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, Max is a little slow I guess. But guess what! We **_**do **_**see the scene play out! Thank you!**

**Nola96: Eek, I'm glad you liked it. It sure does continue… Don't think after all the pleading reviews that I could skip it. Thank you!**

**Stormchase: Because…I deliver in this chapter! Nah, it isn't weird. I love torturing these characters. Whether with embarrassment or angst or just plain confusion, it's fun. Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: You assume right my friend. We get some of Max's thoughts on Aaron's words this chapter. Hopefully you like it! Thanks.**

**WithoutWings: How many chapters? Gee. I…I don't know yet. But the epilogue is fun and I can't wait. **

**Here we go! Enjoy.**

MAX

A lot of unbelievable things have happened to me before, but holy hell I cannot believe this is happening to me.

_Oh God… Oh God oh GodohGod - oh!_

My fingers twist in Fang's hair.

"Fang," I moan softly. I'm still standing in the middle of the shower, which means I have nothing to lean on except the wall I have one hand pressed against firmly. The single leg that's holding me up is shaking.

_Everyone thinks you're in here alone, _Fang reminds me with his thoughts.

I grip his hair harder, tugging slightly. He responds by flattening his tongue and slowly laving that small nub he got to know _really well _last night in the car.

I'm getting there. The slight scratch of stubble on his chin is turning me on spectacularly. My belly clenches and I push against him, mindlessly seeking. He meets me halfway, coaxing me softly in my mind. _Relax. Let me have it, baby, let go._

I let out a soft noise which starts as his name but kind of gets lost along the way. His tongue tentatively finds its way inside me and I think I see _God_ and then-

"Max! Hurry up! I _really _gotta go - number two!"

Gazzy's voice just kind of grabs me and yanks me back to Earth. I recoil immediately, pushing Fang's head back. He looks up at me and I stare down, panting. "Well if anything was going to kill the vibe."

_He just has perfect timing, doesn't he? _Fang thinks. But it's not funny. It is _so not funny_.

I grab his hair, yank him up a bit and double over, then gasp against his lips, "Get the vision of Gazzy's fucked up digestive system out of my head, _right now_."

Fang immediately gets back to work, a sense of impatience radiating off of me and encouraging him to skip the teasing this time around. His tongue and lips and - "Ho-oh! _Fang-_" - occasionally his teeth made love to me with a rapid pace. It doesn't take long for him to build me up again.

"_Ma-ax_! You have been in there _forever_!"

I let out a huge breath of frustration. The water's starting to get uncomfortably cold, too. I close my eyes.

"It's not going to happen. Not…like this."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "Close your eyes."

I close them. Fang pushes me, so I'm out of the spray and leaning against the wall - finally getting some support. He kisses down my stomach and then swiftly pushes into me and I choke out a gasp.

"Okay?" He murmurs against my thigh, leaving soft suckling kisses.

"Uuuuh, huh," I groan, rolling my head against the tile. "Just wasn' expecting…"

I trail off as his finger curls a bit inside me, reaching and searching.

"Fang…"

Fang adds another digit, watching my face carefully. When he sees that I'm nothing but pleased with this development, he lowers his head between my legs again and takes my button between his lips, flicking his tongue against me. That does it; it's a weird feeling, standing and doubling over in pleasure.

Fang peppers sweet kisses over my belly and hips while my body relaxes. I pull him up and lean on him. He drops a kiss on my forehead.

_How do you learn this shit? _I think, panting harshly against his collarbone.

_I have a good teacher. _

I raise an eyebrow. "I distinctly remember _not _teaching you that."

Fang looks at me, his eyes dark. He taps my temple gently. "You didn't have to."

• • •

After dinner with Mom, the others are outside, stretching their wings and hanging out. Mom and I stay in to clean up.

"So, Fang's going to school on Monday."

"Good," Mom says, which is surprising.

"…You think so? Everyone else has been telling me the opposite."

"You can't baby him forever," Mom says. "He won't fully recover until he's pushed out of his comfort zone a little. Are you in any of his classes?"

I shake my head. "I had to beg the counselor, Ms. Goodwin, to pull some strings for me. He got stuck in blow-off classes for the next month or so until next semester starts, but he's allowed to go." I chew on my lip. "She was obviously worried, though. I mean, the press and the school and stuff…they only know what was released, but…that's enough. "

Mom nods. "Does Goodwin think he isn't ready?"

I shrug. "Like I value _her _opinion on it?" I say, not meanly but honestly. "She hasn't been around him. Just knowing what he's been through - or, the gist of it anyways - isn't really enough to ballpark his recovery time."

"Do _you _think he's ready?"

I take a second. "He's so…normal around me. Most of the time. Like, these past few days, he's been almost his usual self. I know school is going to be different, but…he's gotten a million times better."

Mom really looks at me now. "Does he think he's ready?"

"Yes," I say softly. "Yes, he does."

"Just trust him. I'd keep an eye on him at school as best you can, but… good for him. This means he wants to get back to that normalness; sometimes you don't see that in victims."

I don't say anything. The return of this topic has brought back everything that happened with Aaron this morning, and my head hurts just thinking about thinking about it.

"What?" Mom asks softly. "Did something happen?"

"Aaron and I fought this morning," I say, trying to sound nonchalant. "About Fang."

"About him going back to school?"

I glance at her. "Yeah. Aaron doesn't think he's ready. It basically ended up with us both accusing each other. I said he wasn't helping Fang and he…threw it right back in my face."

Mom doesn't say anything for a second. I wonder if she's trying to decide what to say, or just how to say it. Eventually, she says, "Anyone can see that whatever you're doing is helping."

"Well, he didn't exactly say I wasn't helping," I say. "He just said my method was…wrong. But he's wrong. And I know he knows he is. I just…can't help but think there's some truth in his words."

"What exactly was said?"

She asks it with no pressure whatsoever. I mean, she's my mom, but she also…isn't. I haven't grown up my whole life living in her image and trying to make her proud. When I found her years ago, I had already done many things that she would never let Ella do. It was a take me or leave me kind of deal, and she took me. With all of my baggage and my mistakes and everything, she still took me.

That's just how it is, still. Ella has a curfew and I don't - I was the mother figure of my _own _household. Even if I'm not technically the mother or an adult, she knows better than to try to change how things are. I'd lived through enough for the both of us.

This obviously changes talks like this. She is my mother, and she is an amazing confidante, but…she doesn't judge and condemn me like mothers tend to - even if on accident. And that doesn't mean I'm less afraid to tell her stuff…it just means that she never holds anything against me.

"I said that it was stupid of him to bring Fang to a party and expose him to alcohol," I mumble. "He said I was trying to fuck Fang's problems away."

Her eyes widen. "That's a big accusation."

I let out a breath. "You're telling me."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

I shrug. "I'm trying to figure out my thoughts first. I mean, I know Aaron didn't really mean what he said."

I mean, if I was going to throw the recent booze fest into his face, he was going to throw back _my _questionable decision. I don't think he really thought I was dumb enough to think that would work.

"But… there's truth underneath it. He's against me trying to be two people for Fang - his therapist and his girlfriend. Maybe he thinks I should put our romantic relationship on hold, or maybe he thinks I should get someone to professionally face his problems. But I can't imagine doing either of those things."

Of course, if Aaron really _does _think that I'm using sex to distract Fang from his memories, then we have a problem. I guess I won't know until I talk to him…

I'm dreading Monday.

Mom nods. She and I have already had this conversation, or at least touched on many of the same points.

"I thought that, too, at first," Mom says. "But you're helping more than both those things would. Trying to stop anything romantic now would just set him back and make him think he did something that upset you. And a real doctor…"

"A real doctor wouldn't work."

"Right. But I don't think Aaron's worried about Fang."

I look at her, curious.

"I think he's worried about you. I think…Aaron thinks that Fang is bound to break eventually. And maybe that…when the time comes, you won't know who to be. The girlfriend or the therapist."

• • •

_Max…Wake up_.

I roll over, groan, and use both hands and one knee to shove Fang away.

…_No. _

He catches himself from falling off the bed and then wraps his arms around me. I sigh and snuggle into him. It's Monday. I can't do Monday.

_Time?_

_Six thirty. _

"Ugh," I grumble out loud. "I hate you."

"Okay," he says, not phased by my grumpiness. His fingers are brushing through my hair slowly as I wake up. "Will you do something? To make today a little easier?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Don't…don't fight with Aaron. You don't have to talk to him, but…" he trails off. He sighs, closing his eyes, and just deserts that conversation entirely. I delve into his mind and pick up: _…What he did was stupid, but we're all doing stupid shit these days…_

What does he mean by that? My mind goes back to what Aaron said, about me taking advantage of Fang and using sex to comfort him, and I wonder if Fang regrets what we've been doing. I mean, I love him and I know he loves me. But…

My fingers crawl over his chest and he changes gears, talking to me in his mind rather than thinking to himself. _I know its been on your mind since he said it but…I don't think today is the day to hash it out. _

_Whatever you want, honey, _I think, hoping sarcasm gets through on this wavelength we communicate on. Oh, it does.

Fang shakes his head.

I sit up a little, looking down at him. "I'll try. For you. But that's it. And I want you to make me some waffles before school, because you're forcing me to be on good behavior today."

Fang smiles, his eyes still closed. "Whatever you want, honey."

**A/N: Review please! Fang's first day at school awaits…**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: 116 reviews. Holy poop. **

**Um, y'all might be mad that we don't get all the action in this chapter, but I love the chapter because I heart fights and I heart writing them. And, Max is very mentally sassy in this chapter. Gotta love it. **

**Since I have no time, I would like to thank: Hagbre5498, Faxlover, Stormchase, KLoves2Read, WithoutWings, FaxFiction, Resisting-Moonlight, kateflowrchild13, akwardllama, Guest, and Nola96. I'VE MASHED ALL TOPICS FROM REVIEWS INTO ONE RESPONSE. AND I RAMBLED. SORRY. **

_**Giant, cumulated response**_**: I feel like my version of Max is incapable (at least, right now) of dedicating herself to hot, sexy times with Fang. I mean, she's always got that undertone of sass. Her mind is constantly shooting out sarcastic and brutally honest thoughts, even while Fang goes down on her. As you can imagine, lemon scenes with my version of Max are very fun to write. Glad they were just as fun to read! If you're complimenting my lemons just to be nice, please don't stop. **

**Gazzy…I just had to throw him in there. Obviously. Do you really see Max and Fang getting **_**alone **_**alone time? Ever? **

**I'm happy that there are people out there who love Aaron as much as I do! Yes, he fucked up and hurt Max royally and yes, they're all a little worried and stressed, but they'll figure it out. Max and Aaron are friends in **_**Consequences**_**, right? Hell, they're partners. They'll get better. **

**Dr. M…I never fully understood why JP had Max trusting Dr. M off the bat, but… in this story, that plays to my advantage. I definitely didn't agree with the way JP kind of let Dr. M dictate Max's decisions sometimes, just with a "I really think it's a good idea." SO, in this story, it doesn't quite happen that way. My version of Valencia is more factual than "let me be your mother." I picture Max's relationship with her mother as the kind of relationship you have with your own mother once you're thirty with kids and your own life. Sorry if it doesn't work for ya, but I think it makes a bit of sense. And thanks for all the lovely things said about that scene. (:**

**School. This is the morning chapter. There will be more, way more, but it isn't going to play out how you all are thinking. Sorry. Just…beware and enjoy! Any questions, shoot 'em to me. I love answering them. **

**Read this carefully. There are conversations in their minds and a vision. Take your time. **

MAX

"Hey, Fang, nice ride!"

"Yeah, and the car's nice, too," another snickers.

I switch my bagel to one hand to give them the finger. "Clever."

_Fucking idiots, _Fang thinks, and I glance at him. I offer him a piece of my bagel.

"Those guys were in PE freshman year," I say. "Remember? They liked you."

_They liked you more._

Fang wraps an arm around my waist as we lean against his car, waiting for Aaron to get to school. I'd told him that we could just go in without him, but Fang was serious about playing nice. Kind of like I'd been serious about the waffles.

They had been some damn good waffles, too.

A car pulls up, about to pull into the space beside Fang's, and Iggy kicks his backpack over in between the lines of the vacant spot. He shrugs apologetically in the direction of the car, and the kid mouths something nasty and hateful. _What a vocabulary. _Not like Iggy can see it.

"Saving spots is against school rules," another kid shouts, observing this from the row of cars parked behind us. Fang snagged a nice spot today, in the very front row, right up against the sidewalk leading to the school.

Iggy sneers in the kids direction. "Tell on me."

"Ig, don't be a bully," I mumble, finishing the last of my second breakfast.

The next car that tries is Aaron, and his windows are cranked down and some kind of rock music is blasting through his speakers.

"Hey, move the bag, ya - jerk!" He changes his insult at the last second, his eyes landing on Nudge right next to me. Ella laughs, grabbing Iggy's backpack and pulling it to safety. Nudge rolls her eyes.

"He always censors himself around me," she says to me, grinning.

"Look who's with him," I mutter to Fang, touching his wrist. He looks down at me for a second before glancing at Aaron's car. Emily is climbing out of his passenger side. "And he has the nerve to criticize _our _relationship."

"Hey, Emily," I say, trying for _nice_. I don't think I'm quite there, because Fang elbows me. Emily smiles, then falls into easy conversation with Ella, who's always been better at making small talk than me. Go figure.

Aaron stops in front of us, looking at me calculatingly before looking at Fang.

"On again?" Fang asks with a tilt of his head.

Aaron rubs the back of his neck. "Eh, yeah. We hung out yesterday… I don't know, it just happened."

I force myself not to roll my eyes. Emily was sweet, and there was nothing blatantly wrong with her, but she was not for Aaron. The fact that they fight every other day and break up each week is testament to that. Aaron knows Emily isn't the one, but I'm almost 95% sure that he keeps her around because she's willing to go _almost _all the way with him.

_Yowch, _Fang thinks to me. _That's low. _

I sigh, leaning against him. _I didn't… mean it like that. _

_So he has fun with her, leave him alone. Emily probably is on the same page - otherwise they would've fallen apart a long time ago._

I look at Fang, kind of appalled that he's standing up for Aaron. I mean, Aaron said some really out-of-line shit to me, whether he meant it or not.

_Oh, like what you just said? _Fang thinks, staring at me with a clear look of challenge. _Sometimes people say shit just to hurt each other. Aaron didn't mean it. You know that. _

Yeah. I do. Even worse, I think I know what he _did _mean, too. My mom's theory on the matter has only made me internally judge myself even more. I'm not qualified for this level of deep thinking.

There's a sharp pain deep in my skull and then I'm snapped out of reality for a second.

"_Stop! You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!" she screeches. I can't feel anything, so I don't stop. _

"_Get away from me, Max," I grumble, my voice way calmer than my mind at this point. _

"_Why?" she calls, still coming after me. "Fang, you're hurt and it's getting bad out here, stop moving!" _

_She's right about one thing; the rain is coming down really hard now. _

"_Because I will hurt you if you don't get away from me!" I shout. She's right behind me, and I shove her back just to prove my point. _

"_Don't fucking shove me!" she says. _

_I do it again, then, so hard that she falls back into the mud. It doesn't look like she's hurt - not physically anyways. My head throbs. I keep seeing Max and then Evelyn, Max, Evelyn, Max, Evelyn - and if this is like the other time, then I know soon they'll merge together and I won't be able to control myself. _

_I'm not in control._

_It's fucking terrifying. _

"_Stay away from me, Max. I fucking mean it."_

_She stares at me, still on the ground._

"_And don't follow me."_

The warning bell rings, giving us five minutes to get to our classes.

Fang's fingers run across the small of my back and he says, "What did you just see?"

I swallow. My mind is racing; I don't even have time to think about what I just saw. "Nothing."

Fang is not fooled.

We head inside, Aaron saying he'll catch up soon. Immediately Goodwin is at our side, pulling Fang away. She says something about a meeting with the principal about "reinstating himself into school life." Fang kisses my cheek and is off.

"Where's Fang?"

I don't answer Aaron when he walks up. I promised Fang I wouldn't fight about it but - Fang isn't here, and I'm riled up, big time.

Aaron rolls his eyes. "Ig, where's Fang?"

"Fang has a meeting with his counselor and the principal this morning about 'reinstating himself into school life.' Max was kindly not invited."

"Whatever. He can handle himself."

Or, I am praying he can.

Aaron sighs, obviously suffocating in the tension apparent between us. "This is ridiculous. Listen, I know I pissed you off-"

I spin on him, looking up at him. I'm the genetically-altered mutant, and _I _have to look up at _him_. Gah.

"You didn't piss me off," I say. "You hurt me. There's a difference."

Aaron has the gall to look to Iggy and Ella for help. Iggy shrugs, leaning against the lockers next to mine. "There _is _a difference. Trust me."

Aaron raises an eyebrow at him for a split second and then continues, "As I was saying, I know that I upset you, but…I'm not going to apologize."

I slam my locker closed. "Then we're done here?"

His eyes narrow. Maybe I'm not being fair, but I don't know what he wants me to say. If he has a point, he needs to make it.

"No. Hold on."

I look up at him as if it is taking all of my effort not to spit. Aaron notices, but dutifully ignores my attitude. Shocking how quickly he got used to it - then again, we'd been around each other for three solid years now.

"I meant what I said. I'm worried about you guys. I'm sorry that the comment probably came off as an accusation-"

"_Came off _that way?" I scoff. "Own up, Aaron. We're all big kids."

"Fine. I'm sorry that I accused you, it was out of line."

This is Aaron. This guy has been around for everything in the past three years - _everything_. He was there when Fang disappeared, he followed me to get Fang back, and he found his way into every single step before, between, and after that ordeal.

I don't need to sugarcoat it with Aaron.

So I don't.

"Yeah, that _was _out of line," I say. "For you to even say that…_God_, I want to throttle you."

"Okay, fine, warranted, whatever," Aaron says, shaking his head. "But…you know what I mean. It's not…you shouldn't…God, how are you even-"

I quirk one eyebrow. "You had all weekend to think of something to say and this articulate monologue is what you landed on?"

Aaron is ready to throttle _me _now. Ella is grinning to my left, but trying her damnedest to hide it.

"You're being a bitch," Aaron says, his eyes hard. He puts his hand up. "And don't act all shocked and wounded because I _know _you're doing it on purpose." 

I close my mouth. Whatever.

"I'm worried about you, Max. If that makes me a bad friend then oh fucking well."

I raise an eyebrow and lower my voice. "Worried about _what_? If _you're _mad about _my _sex life, we have a way bigger problem right now."

"Oh, don't start that shit with me right now," Aaron says, laughing a bit despite his frustration. "This is not jealousy. I can barely handle you as a friend, let alone as a fucking _girlfriend_."

"Watch it," Iggy warns quietly. His body and sightless eyes are facing the other side of the commons, but he's fully tuned in to this argument. Ready to jump in when necessary, I guess for either of us. As far as Iggy is concerned, one of us will take it too far somehow, and he wants to be there to stop WWIII.

Aaron takes a second. While he calms down, I say quietly, "I'm trying to do my best here so - jeez, Aaron, I really don't need you telling me that I'm not helping. That I'm hurting him. That I'm _using him_." My voice cracks.

Aaron looks at me. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Well that's how it came out!"

"Stop," Iggy groans in annoyance, slipping between us. "Listen, so he slipped up. That's not what this is about, not really. So get over it."

He turns at Aaron, then, and takes a deep breath. "Dude, maybe you don't get why they do it this way, mixing therapy and romance, but they _do _and it's working. Even you have to admit he's getting better. Even if they don't do everything perfect, it's a process, man. Can we all just get over it? Like fighting is helping _anything_."

"Well, aren't you insightful," I mumble after a second. The bell rings and we're all late - a great start to the day. Iggy stands there for a second longer before taking Ella's hand and stalking off. Nudge had split from our group the minute we were inside, and I hope that means that she got to class on time. I turn to walk away, but Aaron stops me.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I don't…I don't get it. I saw what he did to Nudge and it's hard to imagine that two different people live inside his head right now. I'm worried about you, Max. I really am."

I bite my cheek.

"And I'll back off, because Ig's right and you're handling this better than any of us can. If anyone can do something to help, it's you. But God - if he crosses the line…"

"He won't," I say, not even letting him finish. My vision is sitting right there, in the back of my mind, nagging, _Aaron's right. Aaron's right this time, Max. _

It's seven thirty in the morning and my day is already shit. I have no idea if Fang's still in his meeting with the counselor or not. Thankfully, our mental connection will work all day. I don't know what I'm so worried about. He did fine at the party. He'll be fine now. I can talk to him in my mind whenever I want, and he'll see Aaron later. He'll be _fine_.

"But _if _he does."

"He won't, Aaron. And besides, have I ever let anyone walk over me before? If he crosses that line, then I'll cross it right back. I can handle myself, and I can handle him."

Even as I say it, I'm thinking about my vision. I hate this. I hate every part of this.

Aaron does not look convinced. "Things change."

Yeah, they really do.

**A/N: Max and Aaron are not completely a-okay, yet. But Rome wasn't built in a day. Second half of Fang's first day is coming soon.**

**What the hell was that vision? I already know what's going to happen, but I'd love to hear what you guys have to say. **

**Review please! We have 116 right now! If we can get to 125 we'll see part 2 **_**real **_**soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: You guys definitely delivered my reviews - and then some! Here's another chapter to show my love. And, go check out my new Eggy one-shot (inspired by and dedicated to the lovely kateflowrchild13). Thanks, loves.**

**It's about midnight here and I have school tomorrow, so I will have to refrain, once again, from responses. Sorry! **

**Thanks to: Faxlover, Hagbre5498, KLoves2Read, Resisting-Moonlight, flytothemax97, pancakes-for-you (twice), WithoutWings, Flygrrl, awesomealpha11, Nola96, Stormchase, kateflowrchild13, and FaxFiction. YOU ALL OWN EQUAL-SIZED PIECES OF MY HEART. **

MAX

"Max, you're late."

I slap my yellow late pass down on my first hour teacher's desk and turn to walk to my seat, muttering, "Bite me." I think he hears but he doesn't say anything and I count that as a score for me.

First hour is Geography and I loathe Geography, so I don't really pay attention. I mean, sure, I try (kind of) but my mind keeps going back to my vision.

"_You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!"_

What the hell does that mean? He's hurting himself? Like, on purpose or unknowingly? My stomach rolls at the thought of either of those scenarios. If it resorts to self-harm then I really won't know how to deal with that. And if it's unknowingly, that means he's so far gone that he can't feel it. Which is a little scarier, but not by much.

"_I'm not in control. It's fucking terrifying."_

Oh, Fang. It's so unfair that he has to feel that way.

And, of course, _"Don't fucking shove me!"_

I guess Mom was wrong. Caught in one of Fang's meltdowns, I won't be his girlfriend and I won't be his therapist. I'll be his best friend, standing there, smacking him back into his place when he goes too far.

This is slightly comforting, but not much.

I shove the vision out of my head. Not much I can do about it now, anyways. Besides, if Fang sees it in my mind, it'll only set us back.

I force myself to pay attention. Can't hurt, right?

After class, I head to math, totally ready to go home and sleep the rest of the week away. In my math class, two girls are talking quietly near me as I take my seat. The bell hasn't rung yet, and I can't help but overhear them while I take out my phone to check for a text. Of course he hasn't texted me. Because he's fine.

"Yeah, I was surprised to see him at Aaron's on Friday," one girl, Katherine, says softly. "But he was fine then. And he was in my first hour today."

"That seems kind of soon, but good for him," another girl says sympathetically. "I mean, he must be doing well, considering, if he's already back in school."

I roll my eyes. It's not like they're being hurtful, so it shouldn't really bother me. Plus, they don't really know what they're talking about so I don't know why I really care what people are saying. People are going to gossip. Fang's dilemma was on the news for weeks - _The Tragic Kidnapping That Tore the Flock Apart: Finally Justice _and all that bullshit.

"I just feel so bad for him," Katherine says.

"I know. There's no way they'll ever be the same. It's kind of sweet how Max is staying with him, you know? I don't know if I could do it."

I grit my teeth. _That's because the most meaningful relationship you've ever had with something other than yourself is with your iPhone, idiot_.

_Pump the brakes. _

I jump. I sink into my seat, relaxing, and think, _Hey. How's going on?_

_Besides the fact that five people in counting have told me that they're here for me if I need to talk, great, _he thinks to me.

I snicker. _That's…nice. _

_Some people are managing to pretend things are normal, so that's good. _

I sigh. Yes, that is good. The one horrible thing about everyone laying the sympathy on thick? It doesn't do much to help Fang forget. Every time someone offers to be his shoulder to cry on, he remembers he has a reason to cry. Figuratively. It was a metaphor, okay?

_No it wasn't. _

_What? That was so a metaphor. _

_I'm in Contemporary Literature right now, Max. No it wasn't. _

I smile. He's fine. God, why were we even worried about this? Fang is stronger than anyone gives him credit for, including me.

_Hey, it's roast beef for lunch today. _

_Don't say shit to get me excited in public. _

I laugh out loud at that. All eye look at me and I quickly look down at my phone, as if reading a text or something _normal_. The bell rings. With reassurance that Fang isn't having a mental breakdown in his classes, I'm able to halfway focus on note-taking. I kind of have to be serious about school this time around. It's hard, but I don't have a big excuse to skip out anymore. Lame.

• • •

The day goes on without a hitch. Besides the sympathy emanating off of everyone we come in contact with, the awkward silence between Aaron and I all day, and the anxiety that is still rolling in my belly due to my vision, things are great. Lunch comes and goes, and it's the last hour of the day.

I'm sitting in Physics, taking a test that is _kicking my ass_, when it happens. I'm chomping on a piece of gum gifted to me by Nudge in the hallway as a "Good luck on your test" present, trying to figure out the distance traveled by an airplane before take-off when Fang appears, _bam!_, right there beside my desk.

So, naturally, I swallow my gum.

I start choking, which draws all attention to me. Well, the attention that hadn't already been drawn toward the boy who _appeared out of thin air_.

"Uh…"

I raise my hand, eyeing my teacher. I'm still choking, and so I point to myself, Fang, and the door. My teacher is so fucking confused all she can say at this point is yes.

I shoot up from my desk and follow Fang outside. Conveniently, there is a nearby drinking fountain. I run over and swallow a mouthful, washing the gum down my throat.

"What the hell?" I wheeze. "Thanks."

Fang just stares at me. He doesn't look panicked or upset; he looks mad. "Are you okay?"

I nod, still panting. "Yeah. And you just saved me from failing a Physics test. Go you."

Fang frowned. "You talked to Aaron, didn't you? You stirred the pot?"

I literally have to exert energy not to physically stomp my foot.

"Uh! Not fair, he brought it up! What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, Fang told me not to talk about this with you?' "

Fang raises an eyebrow, like, _Why wouldn't that have worked?_

I snort. "Because. He told me he was not going to apologize. I mean, the fucking _nerve…_"

He points a finger at me. "You didn't deserve those waffles. Now he's pissed, saying he doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't want it to get any worse."

I shrug. "Good. So just don't talk about it."

Fang clenches his jaw and looks away. For some reason, he doesn't want to just let this one go. Maybe it's fighting for our honor, but I have no idea. He isn't really thinking about that at the moment.

"Who's Patrick?" I ask, digging nosily in his thoughts. "Why did you teleport to me?"

"I had to get out of there. The teacher is a hard-ass and won't let anyone leave unless it's life or death, and…if that idiot kept talking I was going to start something I couldn't finish."

I frown. "What did he say?"

"He and some other guy were joking about you. I mean, about you…getting around…when I was gone."

My jaw drops. "I don't even know anyone named Patrick! And you _know _that I haven't been with anyone else! You have first-hand proof!" I end in a hiss.

"I know," Fang says calmly. "I know it was all bullshit. I think I would know if you'd done some of the things they'd talked about. You definitely wouldn't have been so freaked out by me eating you out, that's for sure-"

"Fang! Oh, my _God_!" I slap his arm, looking around. "Don't say that out loud!"

"See, I knew they were lying."

I make a face at him. "Gross."

"Still, it was a bad mental image. And I just wanted to-"

I watch his face.

"It's fine. Good job not attacking them. I don't think it would've helped." I pull my phone out of my pocket. "We've got ten minutes until the release bell. Let's go."

We end up sitting under the stairs in the deserted cafeteria, sharing a single-serve size of chips from the vending machine. Once the bell rings, we have to go get our stuff from our classrooms, but for now we just sit side-by-side, silent, and eat.

I wonder for a second if we'll get in trouble for running out of class, but I think since it's Fang's first day back we'll get a free pass. And, it's not like we left the campus or anything. We only left for about ten minutes - a really, really long bathroom break. Or, a trip to the nurse.

The bell rings and we venture into the halls, moving toward my room first. I apologize for the interruption to the test, but she shakes it off. She tells me I can finish my test tomorrow, which rocks. I grab my backpack and we scoot, running into Iggy and Ella on the way.

"Hey!" Iggy calls. "I know I'm blind, but I think the parking lot is this way!"

"We gotta get Fang's stuff. Coming?"

He and Ella join us. On the way into Fang's classroom, we see some guys hanging around in the back. Aaron's still there, too, sitting next to Fang's stuff. No teacher to be found.

"Hey, Fang, man," one of the guys says. I can see on Fang's face that this lovely human being is Patrick.

Oh, shit, shit, _shit_.

"Just up and disappeared on us," the other kid says, standing up. Aaron picks up Fang's with one hand and tosses it to him, then shoots a look at me. _Let's get him out of here, now, _is pretty clear on Aaron's face.

I grab Fang's hand. "Let's go."

"Did you think about the offer, man?" Patrick says, stepping around us. "How do you feel about _sharing_?"

He makes _sharing _sound like a very unsafe word. As we try to push by, he makes the mistake of grabbing my wrist. It's after school, there are no teachers around, and I'm pissed.

I judo-flip him.

"_Jesus_, Max," Aaron says in exasperation, looking around for witnesses.

"When has it _ever _been okay to touch me?" I sneer, getting down in Patrick's face.

"Never," Iggy says offhandedly behind me.

"Now," I continue, directing it to the pig on the ground, "I'm not going to beat you up because I'm trying not to get sent to the principal's office for violence and I don't think you'd like to be pummeled by a girl. But if you so much as look at me or my family the wrong way, I'll tear you up. Then I'll _really _be fun company."

I let go of him and he lies on the ground, still and shocked. I step over him and reach out for Fang's hand.

"Coming?"

Fang glowers at me, but takes my outstretched hand. We get the hell out of there.

I can tell Fang is beating himself up, so I say, "Hey. It's fine. You don't have to stand up for me. You've never had to."

Fang shakes his head. "The difference is now I _can't_."

And then I realize what this is about. Fang is not 100%. Fang didn't refrain from taking down those guys because he has amazing self-restraint - it was because he knew he couldn't. He's out of practice. He hasn't fought in years. He's too weak.

I swallow. Once we reach his car, where most of the others are waiting by now, I say, "Like I said, I don't need you to."

Fang's eyes lock on mine, full of fire. "Well, like _I _said, that's not the problem. The problem is the next time someone is talking about _fucking my girlfriend_, I want to be able to do something about it!"

This explosion is quite public, and the flock watches us with big eyes. Some bystanders stare, too, even if they're trying to be subtle.

"Okay," I say roughly, staring at him until he looks away. If he wants to learn how to fight again, he'll learn how to fight.

Like I haven't taught him before?

**A/N: Who knows what happens next? (It's not that hard to guess, really). **

**Thanks for reading! Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So, I've read the four page excerpt for **_**Maximum Ride Forever, **_**JP's ninth MR book. I have to say…I don't want to read it. I'm scared to read it. **

**But I'll probably read it. **

**I'm sorry this update is so randomly late. And I'm sorry that I can't promise any kind of schedule. Hope you enjoy! **

**It's so weird. Literally two hours ago I was staring at this chapter, trying desperately to make it reach at least 1500 words. And now…Well. **

**flytothemax97: We'll see the vision play out, in due time. Thank you!**

**Guest: You don't have to, anymore!**

**WingedArcher01: Well, I certainly hope so!**

**Pancakes-for-you: Yeah, Jeb is pretty BA if you think about it. I've always loved that about Jeb's character. Max doesn't trust him, but he is so immune to her bullshit. And, bonus, he could totally hold his own in a fight because he **_**taught **_**her. Pretty awesome. Thanks for the wonderful, half-coherent reviews!**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: I always have so much trouble typing your name. Haha! Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU. Hope you enjoy. **

**PolkadottedPandas: I'm glad you liked that little snippet of fax banter. I typed that, looked at it, deleted it, and then I was like, "I **_**have **_**to put that in there." Glad someone appreciated it. You're close, but they don't spar in this chapter. Not **_**yet**_**. Read on! **

**Faxlover: HERE. Thanks, dear! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: There will be tension galore, trust me. Thank you so much!**

**KLoves2Read: Yeah, the only thing worse than having something bad happen to you is having everyone treat you like glass. Sympathy is great, don't get me wrong, and some people just don't know how else to respond, but sometimes it really doesn't help. And as for your request…duly noted. ;)**

**Hagbre5498: Glad you, also, noticed my roast beef comment. I was pretty tickled by it myself. I wish I could judo-flip people, too. I'd be so badass. And thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!**

**Nola96: Yeah, his physical therapy is up next and…it'll be just as hard as the emotional was. Then again, his emotions are not yet 100%, so…gah! Just wait, it will all be cleared up. Trust me, the meltdown **_**will **_**happen. And Fang is such a goof. Thank you so much.**

**Faxfiction: Yeah…yeah. You pretty much have it down-pat, my friend. You just…**_**get me**_**. Ha! Thank you for reading and I'm so sorry that I haven't had time to sit down and read your other stories…but I will not allow myself to read them and not review. It's torture, trust me. To know that quality fics are sitting on this site and I'm not reading them…gah. I will get there. I **_**will**_**. Thank you so much!**

**Stormchase4533: You got an account! Yay! I'm glad it was unexpected and that you liked it! I wanted Fang's first day to be…unpredictable. None of them saw that coming, and neither did I, until I wrote it. Ha! Thank you so much!**

**Flygrrl: That makes me so happy. You have no idea. I'm so glad you like it and thanks for the constant support. You're a superstar. **

**maximumpotter: STAHP. Every time you compliment my OCs my ego grows like three sizes. Haha! But seriously, I am so glad you love this story. I was very iffy about writing it, but FaxFiction kicked me in the butt, and I do not regret posting it at all. This story is going to end up probably being the size of **_**Risks**_**, if not more, and I am really glad so many of you like it. As for the shower scene…yes, this is really me. Haha. I know, I know…I'm a new person to many people now. Thank you for reading and for leaving long, well-thought out reviews! I know how much effort it takes and I really appreciate it. **

**WithoutWings: Thank you, ma'am! Read ahead and see if you're right… **

**Thank you so very much. **

MAX

"He wants to be able to stand up for you," Iggy says, shrugging.

"Well, why? I mean, he doesn't have to. I can stand up for myself!" I insist. I'm not really whispering, but I don't care. Fang's in the shower upstairs and my mind is carefully blocked.

"Some guys were talking about you?" Nudge asks softly.

I say, "Yeah."

Nudge's eyes widen. "Did he get in trouble?"

I shake my head. "He didn't start anything. Which is good. That would've been the worst case scenario."

Iggy sighs. "The worst case scenario was Fang running away, and Mother Max coming back to kick their asses. Oh, _wait_-"

"That's so-"

"I don't care. It's still how it is. Think about it, Max. Whether you needed him to or not, Fang's always been there to stand up for you, protect you. Now it doesn't matter if he has to or if you want him to or _whatever_. It doesn't matter. He just can't."

I swallow, letting that sink it. It was wrong and stupid but it was true.

"Then…I think I'm going to start training him."

"What?" Nudge demands. "Are you _kidding_?"

"Max, that is a bad idea," Iggy says lowly, tapping his fingers on the countertop.

"He wants to feel strong again. I can help him. I've trained him before. Who better to teach him?"

"Um, _anyone_!" Nudge insists. "First you're his girlfriend, then his therapist, now his personal trainer? Are you _nuts_?"

"It's like…pointing a loaded gun at a war veteran," Iggy continues. I frown.

"What would you suggest I do?" I hiss. "You aren't supposed to enable someone with a problem. Okay? Making him comfortable is only a temporary fix and none of you have to deal with the mental stuff, but I do."

Nudge looks away from me. Iggy still looks really unhappy about my idea.

The shower shuts off upstairs, and we all stop talking as if we're about to get caught. Nudge pulls out some homework at the kitchen table and I continue chewing my lip nervously, thinking about what I'm about to try to do, while Iggy raids the fridge.

I groan, still internally arguing with myself, then move upstairs. Fang is already dressed, rubbing his towel over his hair.

"Hey," I say quietly, closing the door.

Fang looks at me, acknowledges me quietly.

"Uh, how do you casually ask your boyfriend if he wants to fight?" I say, sitting on the bed. Fang looks at me.

"I know what you're trying to do. Don't."

I chew on the side of my cheek. "It'll be fun. Like old times."

"Nothing is 'like old times' anymore," Fang says quietly. "You know that."

I cross my arms. All I can think of is all the things that have felt normal since he came home. Our entire relationship is getting closer and closer to being how it used to be. "I think we're on totally different levels right now."

"Maybe we are," Fang says shortly. "I'm going to Aaron's."

"Okay, every time you get pissy, you can't just run off to Aaron's house."

"What are you going to do, _ground me_?" Fang snarls, but I know he doesn't mean it because he clenches his jaw right after he says it. He didn't mean to say that. Doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off.

There's that Mother Max thing Iggy was talking about. No way he was right, no way this is seriously just about Fang's masculinity…right?"

"Might I remind you that Aaron is the one who-"

"Who what?" Fang demands. "You know - I don't want to do this with you right now."

I gape at him. "Do what? _Talk _to me? Yeah, God forbid that happen."

He doesn't take the bait.

"You've been like this since I flipped Patrick, but, _damn,_ Fang, if you won't let me help you and you won't let me stand up for myself then I really don't know what I'm allowed to do here."

Fang shoots me a hard look. "I never said you couldn't stand up for yourself. I never said that you couldn't help me. But no, Max, I don't feel like letting you beat me up. I don't think it'll make me feel better."

"Fang, I'm not going to beat you up. I know you're out of practice -"

"Just stop!"

He doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't have to. I know. I know what's going on now. And maybe if I were in his shoes, I'd get it… But I'm not, and I don't.

"Is this about your _reputation_? Hate to break it to you, but I've always been a better fighter than you."

"That's a lie," Fang says, and I want to laugh but he is _dead serious_. Maybe that's why this conversation is so upsetting. "I used to be strong enough to _snap your neck _if I wanted to, in just one flick of my fucking wrist, Max."

I stare at him.

"Things are different. I know that sucks. I know…but I can't do anything about it, can't solve it all at once. Tomorrow, we can spar or something. But right now-"

I look at my socked feet. "Have fun. Tell Aaron I said hi."

Fang sighs, sounding relieved - either that our conversation is not turning into a real fight tonight, or that I'm not forcing him to spar with me ASAP.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

He presses a quick kiss to my forehead and thinks, _Sorry. _

I smile at him and think, _Don't be. _And I'm really not mad at him, because I see in his mind where he's coming from, now. And it kind of breaks my heart.

It isn't about his reputation, it's about his dignity - and trust me, they are different. He doesn't give a shit if all the kids in our school think he can't do anything or protect anyone - _he _needs to know that he can protect the others and me, _always_. This isn't for any of those guys, this is for _him_.

But he knows its going to be hard and he knows that we're going to fight and torment each other. It is not going to be easy, retraining him. Which is probably why he wants a night to sit around at Aaron's.

Aaron…who'll probably tell him that he should put a stop to all of this, pronto.

Guh.

• • •

"I don't understand physics," I mumble to the universe, shoving my textbook off my lap. I look up to see Iggy, Holden and Gazzy strategically holding things behind their backs as the walked through the living room.

"What are you doing?" I demand, narrowing my eyes.

"Nothing," they chime together. I smile on the inside; they haven't conspired anything diabolical in a while. Surely Gazzy's been missing his partner in crime; high school really changed their relationship. Iggy was with Fang, Aaron and I more than he was with Gazzy. And when he was here, Gazzy and Emma were off, creating their own adventures. Not to mention Holden, who has a completely different set of friends at school, and barely comes around for down-time.

"Don't get hurt!"

"Okay," they respond again.

"I mean it!"

They scurry out the door and I look down at my textbook lazily. I know if I really wanted to, I could text Aaron. Aaron rocks at physics, _and _he took the test today. I chew my lip.

My phone chimes and I lean over to glance at the notification. "Speak of the devil…"

_Don't wait up for him. -Aaron_

I frown.

_Is everything okay? -Max_

Physics completely forgotten, I move into the kitchen and start cutting up an orange while I wait. Then I eat my orange while I wait.

Then I throw away the orange peels. Grab a bottle of water and chug it. Ask the girls if they want to eat anything. Consider doing my physics again.

Aaron never answers me.

_What could possibly keep him out all night _and _keep Aaron from answering me? _It wouldn't be drugs. I know this for a fact, because even Aaron isn't that stupid. If everyone's afraid our relationship will become an unhealthy escape, he definitely wouldn't give Fang any of that crap.

No, that isn't it.

So, what? Now I really want to know if Emily's there, if any of her friends are with her. And as I'm staring at the screen of my phone, wondering how you casually ask some girl you don't even like if your boyfriend is spending quality time in her company, my phone dies and the screen goes dark. And I'm staring at myself in the reflection of my phone.

Who _am _I right now? I throw my phone onto the couch cushion beside me and cover my face, groaning. I am not even going to go there.

Aaron told me not to worry about him, so I won't. Whatever is going on isn't nearly as bad as what I'm imagining, I'm sure.

"Nudge!"

After a second, I hear Nudge's bedroom door open.

"What?"

"Come distract me from my physics homework!"

The girls file downstairs, Emma blowing on her nails as they dry.

"Is that all you want distraction from?" Angel asks, too informed for her own good. I glower at her, pulling her onto the couch with me.

"No. Now put in a movie and grab that throw blanket."

Angel smirks and cuddles up to me while Nudge chooses a movie.

_It'll be okay, Max._

I sigh, resting my cheek against Angel's curls for a moment.

_That's what they keep telling me. _

• • •

There's a soft grunt in my ear, and then I'm not on the couch.

"Fuck, you're heavy."

Even in my half awake state, I have to force myself not to say _You're a pansy. _He's carrying me, actually _carrying _me up the stairs. And though it isn't as effortless as it used to be, it's manageable and he doesn't drop me.

Or, at least, he doesn't drop me until he gets me to our bed. He drops me there, and I groan and curl up on top of the covers.

Fang sighs and crawls onto the bed with me. I feel fingers on the buttons of my jeans and reach down tiredly to help him, but he pushes my fingers away. _So freaking bossy_. As he scoots backwards, pulling my jeans off while he goes, I reach up and start half-consciously pushing off my panties.

"Would you stop?" he grumbles, taking both of my wrists authoritatively and putting them at my sides. I sigh and decide to just let him do it.

He ignores my underwear and lifts my arms, pushing my shirt up. I open my eyes, blinking. The cold air on my skin has woken me up a bit.

"What? Are you already immune to my charms?" I ask sarcastically as he throws my shirt to the floor.

"What? Max, you're gorgeous," he mumbles. "And I'm not immune. But it's one in the morning and I'm not having sex with you. I'm just getting you ready for bed."

I nod. "That's fine, I was just wondering."

Fang rolls his eyes. I lever myself up and unclasp my bra from behind my back, tossing it to the floor with my shirt. Then I wiggle and get myself under the covers, curling up. Fang watches me, his eyes narrowed slightly.

"What? That thing is not comfortable," I mumble.

Fang resorts to name-calling. "Temptress."

Then he drops his jeans and I groan, rolling over to face the other way. "_Me_? Are you kidding? You're evil."

He chuckles quietly and slips into bed behind me and pulling me into the curve of his body. I sigh, bringing the still-chilly sheets and blankets around us tightly, and let his arm hold me around the waist.

We lay in silence, long enough for the clock to read 2:45. We have about four hours before we have to get up, and I'm lying still in Fang's arms, half-awake. Sleep is slowly tugging at me, but it's always hard for me to go back to sleep twice in one night. As soon as I'm on the brink of reality and subconscious, I hear softly:

"What changed, Max?"

It takes me a second to decide if that was in a dream or really Fang. I slowly roll over to face him, blearily opening my eyes. If he's surprised I'm awake, he doesn't show it.

"Fang…"

"I don't mean today…or a week ago…or when I got home," Fang murmurs. His voice is so low and soothing it feels like a dream. I reach out to make sure he's really there, in the flesh. My hand touches his abdomen and his hand clasps mine and pulls me close. I sigh and relax against him.

"I mean…before any of this even started," he says, his fingers canvassing the surface of my hips and stomach. "Before Itex…Before our powers…"

I close my eyes, make myself think back that far. "Do you have a specific _day_?" I ask, almost mockingly, but I'm not quite sure I'm awake enough to execute it properly.

"I do," Fang breathes. "We were in…Hawaii…"

My breath stops for a second. I can barely hear him, but I hear that, and I wonder what has him thinking about that. I open my eyes.

"And after everything… every time I ever tried and you rejected me… that time you didn't."

_What changed? _

My first answer is I don't know. I have no idea. But Fang wants an answer, and I can see why. Things changed, big time, for us on that mission. And though there was no set moment when I made the decision, and it was more a gradual transition, it still happened. Why?

I remember how it had seemed that blow after blow was rolling in. In the same twenty-four hours, I'd lost my mom and Nudge. That alone had been enough to render me totally sunk. Then there had been the fact that another evil person was after us, planning and plotting. Along with the constant "save-the-world" weight on my shoulders, I had been _such a mess_…

Then there was Fang. I remember the smallest things he'd done, the littlest touches and simplest words that had made it bearable. The way he somehow seemed to make hope out of thin air, make it a little easier for me to breathe again.

"Everything," I mumble after a really long time. "Everything changed. Not between us, but everything on the outside changed. And everything sucked and nothing was going right, but… You were still there, still had my back. The fact that you had endured me even at my worst…that you had put up with my attitude and anger and fear about a relationship…and yet you still put yourself through it. I mean, you gave your whole heart to me before I even knew I wanted it…"

My throat hurts with the effort of holding back my tears. I take in a couple breaths, waiting for the urge to pass, but it doesn't. I swallow, hard, and power through it.

"You didn't give up on me. I knew that my life would go to shit, we'd be put through hell and back…but you'd be there through all the suffering. And if you couldn't fix it… you'd still be there with me, backing me up, until the very end."

Fang doesn't say anything right away. Whether that was the answer he wanted or not, it's out there now. He sighs against my cheek.

"I'm sorry," he confides softly. "I'm sorry I can't fix this right now."

I feel a tear start in the corner of my eye, travel over my nose, and drop onto his arm. He pulls me closer and I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling him so close that he becomes a part of me.

"But I'll suffer with you," Fang whispers. "Until I…figure it out."

I should really say something, to take that guilt from his voice. I should console him. But I can't, I can only cry, maybe because I've barely cried since he came home and my body has decided now's the time. Fang shushes me, holds me, but I feel terrible and so I think to him, _I don't blame you, it isn't your fault…_

_I love you, I love you, I love you…_

And he just holds me while I fall apart. He holds me, just like I always knew he would, and he brushes away tears and soothes my grief and I realize that's the reason I fell in love with him in the first place.

**A/N: Well…thoughts? **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Not much to say and ZERO time to chat. But I did want to spoil ya, since I've been MIA for a very long time.**

**Max and Fang get their turn of fighting and saying some pretty messed up shit to each other. Just a warning.**

**Don't worry...they talk it out soon. Except, then the vision comes into play...gah, just read. It's a GD roller-coaster, but I hope you like, anyways.**

MAX

The next two weeks, everything is relatively normal. Fang does well at school, pretty much staying out of trouble, and though he has to keep up his weekly meetings with the counselor, he's fine. From my experience, kids aren't nearly as horrible as they're made out to be in cliché high school movies. So far, that's been right. No one, except for that damn kid Patrick, has been cruel to Fang. I guess it makes sense - some kid get kidnapped and tortured for a year? The last thing anyone with a heart would do is fucking torment him.

Anyways, he's fine. He spends a lot of time at Aaron's…for hours at a time. Sometimes right after school until after midnight, he'll be at Aaron's and I won't hear from either of them. At first, I was worried that he was upset with me and we were growing apart, but I soon realized that wasn't it. As soon as Fang comes home, he's normal around me. Usually he's in a good mood, too, which is great. But… he's also different. Not necessarily in a bad way. Just…different.

We haven't slept together since Aaron's party, haven't done anything else since the shower experience. It's not like I'm complaining, I've just…noticed that, too. I'm sleeping in all my clothes again and Fang's barely sleeping at all. I'll go to bed without him, usually. Then he'll appear in my dream for a while, and when I wake up he'll be gone flying or something.

Nudge said that I was trying to be everything for Fang…but now I don't feel like I'm his trainer, his therapist _or _his girlfriend. Funny how shit changes like that.

It's a Saturday morning when I first notice something is off. Fang's favoring his left side as we get up, even as he lifts his arm gingerly to cup my face when he kisses me. This piques my interest, and I watch him quietly.

"Hey, do you want to go out tonight?" Fang asks. We're hogging the bathroom, much to Emma's irritation. I'm brushing my teeth and Fang's shaving.

"_Go out _go out?" I respond through the foam in my mouth, looking at him through the mirror.

"Yeah," Fang murmurs, carefully moving the blade over his jaw. "Haven't had a date in a while."

Well. _A while _is an understatement. Fang smirks and I lean down to spit in the sink. I'm right and he knows it.

"Do you think we could just…stay here? Have a date here?" I ask. "The idea of having to go out in public tonight…"

Fang pauses his shaving and looks at me. "Yeah."

"Perfect. We can kick everyone out. Order some food and rent a movie?"

Fang nods.

I smile. "Okay. I'm in."

"Good."

I linger, still watching him. His eyes are barely focused on what he's doing, he's so busy looking at me. I grin. "You know, I don't mind the beard."

"Oh, trust me," Fang says quietly. "I know."

I blush, involuntarily remembering how his stubble had felt scratching against my thighs, and blink hard to get my mind away from that dangerous subject.

Yeah. Date night will be good.

Downstairs in the kitchen, I'm still watching him carefully. Whether he was actively trying to distract me or not, it didn't work. He's still moving carefully, stiffly, and I notice. He can't hide from me.

"Everyone should try to make plans tonight," I say casually. "Fang and I are having date night here."

Nudge shrugs. "I have plans with Ella anyways."

Gazzy looks at me with irritation. "Why do we all have to leave?"

I chew my lip, looking at Fang. Fang puts both hands on the counter, leans down so his face is level with Gazzy's, and says, "Do you really want me to answer that?"

The next five seconds are quiet awkward. I busy myself with whipping up some sandwiches for us to take for lunch, not letting anyone see my probably bright red face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gazzy narrow his eyes and stare up at Fang, really thinking on that question. Then, he says decisively, "No."

Fang nods. "Didn't think so." Fang punches his arm and the Gasman punches back, a jab right under Fang's ribs on his left side.

My eyes fly up to Fang's face. His eyes harden, his teeth grit painfully, and he hits Gazzy again, harder. _Meaner_. Gazzy notices this change in their interaction and backs up subconsciously, looking at me nervously.

"Fang."

He looks at me and seems to realize his mistake. "Sorry, man," Fang mumbles, moving stiffly out of the kitchen.

"Fang," I say again, following him into the living room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit it's nothing," I say. "What'd you do to your side?"

"Nothing."

I really think over my options here. In the end, though, I leap forward and yank up his shirt. I choke back a gasp at the yellow and purple bruise on his side, the size of my hand.

"Fang, what…"

I expect him to get mad, maybe defensive. But he doesn't. He calmly takes his shirt from me, lowers it, and says nothing.

And trust me, friends, that is ten times more infuriating.

"What are you hiding from me?" I whisper.

"Nothing, Max, it's just a bruise."

"Just a - wait a minute. You are not getting out of this that easily."

Fang raises an eyebrow, like, _watch me_. But I'm frustrated, and worried, and I'd be lying if I didn't say a little scared. That's a really bad bruise.

"No. Fang… God! When you came back I really didn't think I'd have to worry about you being all secretive, not coming home, showing up with mysterious _marks_-"

Now the defense comes out to play.

"What the _hell _do you think I've been doing?"

I clam up. The first time I've ever gotten nervous fighting with Fang, ever. Probably because I have _no idea _what he's been doing.

"I don't know," I whisper.

"Well it sounds like you have some ideas."

I glare at him. "Yeah, well, you're leaving a lot to the imagination."

"You think I'm lying about being at Aaron's?"

I pause. Do I want to get into this fight right now? Do I really want to do this?

"I don't know," I say, still looking at him. "Are you?"

I don't think either of us know what is coming out of our mouths right now.

"Yeah, Max, I'm actually fucking _cheating _on you," Fang hisses, so the others don't hear. Or, hopefully they don't.

It doesn't matter. The bogus lie bounces around in my head and I feel like he just slapped me. I can't believe something so ridiculous can make me feel so insecure.

"Don't you dare say that," I say hoarsely. "Why would you say that to me?"

Fang rolls his eyes. "Yeah, girl's so hardcore she gives me goddamn bruises!"

I grit my teeth, pushing his shoulders meanly. "Well, how _dare _she mix violence with sex, huh? Sounds like the M.O. of a freakin' _rapist_."

I hate myself for saying that to him, for throwing that incident in his face. I regret it before it's even out of my mouth, but I still spit it at him. It's so stupid, we're fighting over something we both know isn't going on. I really have no idea where he is every night, but I know he isn't cheating on me.

And for me to throw that night in his face like that is a total bitch move. I know it and he knows it. He doesn't say anything. The heat of the moment is gone and we're both harboring serious hurt, unable to even move. I want to apologize but can't. The kitchen is dead quiet, and I have no idea how much of that was overheard.

Since he has the worst timing in the world, Aaron comes barreling through the front door. I glance at him, then do a double take. He has a black eye.

And I fucking get it. It all clicks. I inhale, look at Fang accusingly, and say, "Wow."

He just looks at me.

"It kind of feels like you _are _cheating on me," I say, running my hands down my face. "How messed up is that?"

"Really," Fang says. His eyes are still hard, his body language still closed off. He turns without a word and heads right out the door.

I have a feeling date night is on a temporary hiatus.

**A/N: Review please! I love hearing from y'all!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, for some reason I feel like this chapter sucks and needs an explanation so here goes: **

**1\. MAX IS A GD MESS, if you can't tell. She's used to having a plan, having a method, having results. That ain't happening here. So many things are happening at once that she's panicking, worrying, willing to try anything to get things back to normal. That should explain what happens in this chapter. **

**2\. I HAVE A PLAN OF ACTION. Okay? This isn't just a random plot twist. Things were never ever going to be fixed at the rate they were going, it just took them all a while to figure it out. **

**3\. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE VISION. I understand that the few visions in the trilogy were immediate, usually a day or two after the vision happened. That's not always the case, which you are seeing here. The vision will happen. Some day soon.**

**4\. THIS SUCKS, BUT IS NOT A MISTAKE. Max and Fang don't end up regretting this. Spoiler alert. **

**5\. WHY IS THIS STORY SO LONG. Gah. It'll probably be longer than **_**Risks**_**. Poop. **

**Read on. You guys are amazing. I don't even think I deserve this shit. **

MAX

The others, hearing Fang exit, slowly filter into the room.

"That happened so fast," Emma says, her eyes wide.

"_What _did he say?" Nudge demands.

I look at her. "He was kidding."

"That's a weird joke," Gazzy says quietly.

I ignore that.

"Can I ask why?" I say to Aaron, my hurt evident in my voice. "Why he wanted to spar with you and not me?"

Aaron's eyes narrow and I know I'm in trouble.

"Yeah. Because you _lied_."

I recoil. It definitely isn't what I'm expecting. "About what?"

"He told me, about when he lost control. Except this time he didn't sugarcoat it. He told me exactly what happened."

I can feel my stomach rolling. Embarrassment and betrayal take root in my stomach and stretch up through me, making me feel sick. I can't believe Fang told Aaron about that night.

"He told you about that?" I whisper.

"You lied to me. I asked you if he'd ever done anything to you like he did to Nudge and you said no! And I freaking trusted you, Max! He's not better, he's not ready to be with you - as a boyfriend or an opponent. He's not even close to being ready. And I told him that."

I huff, pissed. That explains why Fang refused to touch me for the last two weeks.

"You had no right to put that shit in his head!"

Aaron looks flabbergasted. "_You _were the one putting shit in his head! I told him exactly how it was. I brought him back to freaking reality. Things were not better, Max, they were _fake_."

"It's not like that. It hasn't been like that, this whole time, you don't know what goes on between us," I mumble, quietly, so quietly because I don't want everyone to hear this but they are. Oh, they are.

"What he did to you was ten times worse than what he did to Nudge!" Aaron says. "People go to jail for that, Max!"

"It was not like that," I hiss, hoping that if one side of this argument is quiet that it won't tip off the others. No dice.

"What are they talking about?" I hear Gazzy whisper, and now he sounds scared.

"Nothing," I say, swinging around to look at them all. "Go somewhere else, please."

"What did Fang do?" Angel asks. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Angel. Everyone _go_."

They scurry off, everyone but Iggy. Nudge is adamant about staying, too, but Iggy makes her go off with the girls.

"I know that you want everything to be okay right now," Aaron says quietly, touching my shoulder. "But it isn't. Not yet. And pretending it is isn't going to fix anything."

"I'm not pretending! I don't pretend with him! I know things are still fucked up, Aaron! But he's normal around me…" I think about the past few months with Fang home. Yes, he has his moments and lapses of judgment, but for the most part, around me, he is _my Fang _again. Aaron sees our relationship as something fake, something there to cover up the problems, but that isn't it. Fang and I are aware of the problems.

"You tell me truthfully that he didn't force you to do anything and maybe I'll believe that."

I push my hands into my hair, tugging. "Don't…make me talk about this with you."

The sympathy in his eyes makes me want to spit. "Have you talked about it with _anyone_, Max?"

"Yes!" I say. _Fang_, I add in my mind. But he doesn't need to know that. "What Fang told you is probably the embellished version."

"Max…"

I can't deal with this anymore. I put my hands up. "I'm not discussing this anymore. As if I owe any explanation to you at all-"

"I was right!" Aaron says angrily. "I was _right_, this whole time, and you knew it! And you were so fucking scared of me being right that you were willing to try anything to prove me wrong!"

I grit my teeth. "I'm going to say this one time, Aaron."

He takes a breath. I wait for him to exhale completely, his shoulders relaxing, before I continue.

"Fang hasn't ever forced me to do anything I didn't want to do," I say quietly. "Now what does any of this have to do with you two sneaking around behind my back?"

That's it. Take control of the conversation again. Get it the hell away from _that _topic, asap.

He sighs. "He still has episodes. I wasn't going to help him, didn't think he was ready to spar with _anyone_, but he told me about what he did to you and then said that you were going to start training him. That was enough to make me step in."

I snort against my will. "Like you're the person to teach him. God."

Aaron raises an eyebrow at me, irritation clear on his face.

"_Anyways_, one wrong move and he won't be Fang anymore. He'll be completely thrown back into his memories. He gets dangerous. Which is why he didn't want to do any of that with you. He really isn't ready to be practicing at all, but he wants to get better so he's pushing himself."

I study Aaron's black eye. "And that bruise you gave him? What the hell?"

"He snapped. I don't know, it happened really fast. And I warned him, tried to snap him out of it, but when he wouldn't let up I kicked him. Which is when he gave me the black eye."

"One kick, Aaron?"

He sighs. "Okay, a few. He wasn't letting up."

Iggy sits down, letting out a big breath. "I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore."

I sit down on the couch, feeling exhausted despite the fact that it's only eleven. Aaron sits next to me.

"Things need to change, Max."

And he's right and I hate him for it.

• • •

This is how the day ends.

It isn't Fang and I, cuddled up on the couch or sharing a romantic dinner. It isn't the entire flock, enjoying some quality bonding time. It isn't even how the past few nights have been - quiet, ignorant of any underlying issues, and calm.

I would call it an intervention, but the word intervention sounds too ridiculous for what this feels like. Fang and I are sitting on the couch, at the opposite ends. I think the others went to my mom's. Iggy's still here. I couldn't fight that. Aaron wanted to stick around for this, but I refused and kicked them all out. Just…not for the reason I had really wanted to kick them all out.

If I think about why this is so hard, it isn't because we can't function without each other or because we so codependent. I mean, both of those are true, to an extent, but they don't make what I'm doing tough. What makes it tough is knowing that things are about to get really, really hard, and I'm giving up my one anchor to everything real.

When Fang and I are together, it's a visceral experience. It doesn't matter what we're doing, because soon it's like there is no one else in the room, in the house, in the world. It's me and Fang. Our problems don't matter. Nothing else matters.

And it's really hard to give that up.

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.

"…I think you know what happens next."

That's Iggy. Neither of us speak. I think I'm still reeling from everything the day has brought us. I can't believe we were on relatively good terms this morning and now we're here. Then again, we knew it was all going to fall apart sooner or later.

"You two need to take a break," Iggy says quietly. "Whether for two weeks or two months… something needs to be put on the back burner. And it can't be Fang - not anymore."

What is going to get better this way? Is it possible for his health to get better while our relationship falls apart?

"Fang can move into my room," Iggy continues quietly.

This scares me more than any of Fang's episodes have. More than any of his _memories _have. This scares me, because I have no idea how we're going to come out of this one.

But Iggy's right. And I'm only making things worse-

"Get off it, Max. That's bull."

I look at Fang. He's staring right at me, his face void of any feeling. I frown.

"Do you get what happened today?" I demand. "I accused you of _cheating _on me. You want bullshit, there you go. And then we threw horrible words at each other, what I said to you was so out of line…I'm sorry. I… I can't believe I used that against you."

He looks away from me, nodding slightly.

"But…that isn't how we should be. We fight, yeah, and we've always been all-or-nothing fighters… but, Fang, my response this morning was not the right one. And it can't be helping anything."

"I thought you wanted us to act normal," Fang says.

"We need normalcy," I say.

"But there's a difference between acting like everything is fine and following a normal routine," Iggy cuts in. "Listen. You just need to focus on getting better before you keep trying to combine your relationship with therapy sessions. It's unhealthy-"

"So you want to break up?"

"No! God, no," my voice breaks. "I don't…know…that's not what I want to call it. We just need to stop juggling all these roles at once. I'm afraid I'm only making things worse. So…here's what we're going to do."

I take my left hand in my right and wiggle off my ring quietly. When it's loose in my hand, I hesitate, rolling it over and over in my palm, watching the light glint off the diamond. Fuck, this sucks.

"You can keep practicing, with the guys. And everything will be exactly how it has been, but…we're going to hold off on the relationship. Definitely the physical stuff. I think…well, everyone else has convinced me that it will help."

I end quietly. That sounds pathetic and even I think so. But it's true. My mom, Iggy, and Aaron all agree, and have been warning me about this. Yes, for a while, our method was working. But it seemed we had reached a breaking point today. And I'm afraid if we keep trying to balance everything and ignore the little things, our relationship will fall apart for good, with no chance of reconciliation.

I don't even care that Iggy's there. I usually would, but I don't have it in me. I'm so scared, Fang isn't saying anything, I hope to God he can see that I'm doing this for _us_…

"I love you, Fang," I say, hoping that still matters. I lean forward, set my ring on the coffee table with a definitive clank and sink back into the couch. I see Fang lean forward and pick it up and curl it in his fist. He walks off, his feet storming down the hall, and Iggy follows him.

I curl in on myself, hug my legs, and close my eyes.

_What the hell just happened?_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, loves! I just got home from my fourth ten-hour shift in a row and I am pooped. It's time for bed - but I did want to give y'all this first. Next chapter (hopefully up tomorrow) I WILL respond to all reviews, so shoot me some questions! Personal, story-related, future-story-related, random-as-fuck - I DON'T CARE. **

**Thanks! Read on.**

MAX

No matter how much I want to wallow in self-pity, I can't. Everyone comes home within the next hour, and one look at me sends them all into action. I'm immediately enlisted to help Gazzy with his homework and Angel bullies Fang into doing the dishes because "it's totally his turn."

Iggy has decided that dinner is a self-serve tonight, since the main goal is to not force Fang and I into the same room. Which I'm fine with, because I'm sure sooner or later we're going to be constantly near each other. I sit down at the kitchen table, eyeing Gazzy's book bag.

"Okay, what do we have? Math? English?"

I glance up and see him staring at me, his worried eyes trained on my face.

"What are we doin', Gaz?" I snap two fingers in front of his face.

Gazzy looks like he's about to say something but nods and looks down at the textbook between us. "Sorry. Uh, it's not math. I have a science project."

Oh _shit_.

"I am not going to be your test subject and you are not allowed to blow anything up," I spout off immediately.

Gazzy rolls his eyes. "Come on, I'll show you."

Which is how we end up outside.

"Okay, this one is going to work for sure," Gazzy calls. I wait patiently with Emma, who has decided to watch. A second later, a huge freezer bag full of marshmallows crashes to the ground before my feet. I lift it, examine it, and call, "No dice, Gaz! That egg's shot for sure!"

He groans.

His science project is to create a way to drop an egg from the second story of the house without it breaking. I told him we could just _Google _it, but he insisted that he was smart enough to figure it out. So far we've tried bags of packing peanuts, marshmallows, and tissue paper. They'd all failed.

Gazzy swoops down, landing before me and taking the bag from my hands and turning it over in his hands.

"What else am I supposed to try?"

"Maybe fill a container with water? Eggs float," Emma offers.

Gazzy shrugs. "We could try it, I guess," he mumbles. He walks over to the porch, where we've compiled a bunch of possibly-helpful junk, and starts digging through the pile. Emma looks at me, her fingers picking at the grass.

"Did you lose your ring?" she asks tentatively, as if she doesn't want the answer.

I smile at her, and it's wobbly at best. I haven't had much time to think about what's happened between Fang and I, and I don't want to think about it now.

"No."

She scrunches up her nose and looks away, silent.

"Go get that soldier doll."

I turn my head to see Fang talking to Gazzy. Gazzy crosses his arm, looking around Fang's arm at Emma and I.

"I don't have any _dolls_!" Then, after a second of silence from Fang, and Gazzy mumbles, "Fine."

A minute later he returns with a G.I. Joe-type action figure. Fang bends down, grabs a pair of scissors from the junk pile, and hacks off the dolls parachute.

Oh. Duh.

"Tape."

Gazzy hands over the tape. Fang MacGyver's the egg, taping the parachute to it carefully. Then he hands the egg to Gazzy and looks at him expectantly.

Gazzy shoots into the air with the egg, then calls, "Ready, Max?"

"I'm ready," I say, standing up and brushing off my pants. My mind is racing. What is Fang thinking right now? Obviously he's not retreating into himself or distancing himself, which is a good sign. Maybe this won't be so bad-

Carefully preparing the parachute, Gazzy drops the egg. The parachute catches the air, puffs out, and slowly drifts the egg to the grass safely.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Gazzy cried excitedly, stumbling on his landing as he rushed to confirm the safety of his science project. "Thanks, Fang!"

We turn towards the house, but Fang is not in sight.

I spoke too soon. Maybe this won't be so _good_, either.

The confused looks on Gazzy and Emma's faces make me wonder: Do I have an obligation to, like, tell them what's going on? So far, everything that's been going on with Fang's healing process has been kind of hush-hush. Aaron, Iggy and I have dealt with the brunt of it - Nudge only when Fang lashed out on her. And of course they know things aren't normal, and they know that Fang's going through some serious shit…

But our breakup? If they ask me, am I supposed to tell them? I feel like they'll notice, anyways, but if they ask why? If they try to understand? If we aren't doing the right thing and everything crashes and burns?

I know I shouldn't, I know it's a dirty thing to do, but I push my way into Fang's mind anyways.

It's hard to navigate, has been since he got home unless he's sending thoughts to me or really preoccupied. I see a bunch of stuff about me that I don't really want to see, then something else. It's something Nudge said - maybe something she's saying right now, to Fang. I've never eavesdropped on a conversation through someone's head before, but here we go.

"_Fang, do you want to…I don't know, talk about it or something?" _

Bless Nudge's heart. People underestimate how much that question means in a time like this. Of course, she's also got some freaking balls asking Fang something like that.

Fang's thoughts, which I hope to God he isn't really saying out loud, are not nearly as kind as Nudge's intentions. _Want to be a little more specific? _

Exactly. Which 'it' are you referring to, Nudge? His mother's horrifying rap sheet? His countless mental issues? Maybe the fact that his girlfriend…

Right.

I get up and go inside, letting Gazzy and Emma clean up the clutter of junk outside. I'm in the kitchen, whipping up some PB and J sandwiches for myself when Angel and Nudge edge their way into the room.

"Hey, Max, how do you feel about having a girl's only sleepover at your mom's?" Nudge asks, smiling brightly. I look at her, chewing my sandwich.

"What?" I say through a mouthful of sticky peanut butter.

"Yeah! We'll grab Emma and head over there and watch movies and pig out…it'll be fun," Angel says, less dedicated to masking her worry. "Your mom said she'd made chocolate chip cookies."

"See? Cookies and movies and your best friends! Perfect medicine for a bre-"

Angel kick Nudge discreetly. I set down my sandwich, sighing.

"I appreciate it, guys," I say. "But I'm the one who did it. I can't very well mope around and be depressed. Especially since it isn't permanent."

Angel's shoulders relax. "It isn't?" she whispers.

I walk across the kitchen and lean over the island, looking at both of them. "Fang and I are not over. We could never be over. But we do need to spend more time focusing on Fang instead of on our relationship."

"I don't get it," Nudge says. "What's so wrong with being together _while _you focus on Fang?"

I didn't get it at first either. Now, though, I think I may be figuring it out. Or, at least, I see why this might help. Doesn't mean I like it, doesn't mean it makes it any easier. But I think I see where my mom and Aaron and Iggy are coming from.

"Fang and I have an…unorthodox relationship," I say. "And that's sugar-coating it. But what little things that would have been fine normally are not fine now. Like our fight today? Or the way that I stood up for myself against that kid? Those things wouldn't have even shaken our relationship a couple years ago. But… now, they do. All of those little things are effecting our relationship and Fang's health."

They're both staring at me in confusion. I get it, sure; I mean talking about it right now is kind of how I'm fleshing this entire process out for the first time.

"I guess what I'm saying is… if we keep trying to balance therapy and romance, one of them is going to fail. And that's…really scary."

Angel's nose wrinkles. "But why did you take off your ring?"

"Because we aren't ready."

Nudge doesn't say anything. She is not happy. Well, that makes two of us. I sigh, standing up and going back to my sandwich. The girls turn to leave the room and I say, "Nudge? Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah, I did."

"What…what'd he say?"

"_Check on her_," Nudge says hesitantly. "That's…all he said."

I set down my sandwich, my bite stuck in my gullet.

Of course he did.

• • •

I land on the sidewalk in front of Aaron's car Monday morning. Aaron actually beat us there today. He gets out of the car and I can _just _see Fang's car entering the parking lot when Aaron approaches me.

"Don't say it," I say quietly. "Don't you dare say 'I told you so.'"

Aaron just shakes his head. "You think I wanted to be right about this?"

"Sure felt like it when you were throwing all my mistakes in my face on Saturday," I breathe. "I can't do this anymore, okay? I can't be at war with you and Fang and myself all at once."

Aaron looks unsure about what he says next. "You and Fang are at war?"

"I wouldn't call it peace," I say under my breath. "Maybe civil coexistence, at this point."

"It's only been two days."

I shrug. For Fang and I? It's been an eternity.

"Long enough."

Long enough for every change to feel like a punch to the throat. Long enough for us to awkwardly maneuver around each other each day. Long enough for every flock member to make things worse by trying to make things better.

Fang pulls into the empty spot in front of us and kills the engine. The others start piling out immediately, but he holds back. Our little group crowds around the two cars, chatting and complaining about yet another Monday.

Fang gets out of the car, slinging his mostly empty backpack over his shoulder. He looks at me and doesn't stop and fuck if this isn't going to be the longest day of my life.

"Can I talk to you?" Fang says to me softly, touching my wrist. I'm nodding before the words are even out of his mouth. With one glance at Aaron, Fang's face hardens.

"I'm allowed to talk to her," Fang says. It isn't a question, and Aaron gets that. He starts talking to Nudge while Fang and I walk a couple feet away.

"You aren't sleeping," he says observantly.

"Yeah. One guess why," I mumble.

His eyebrows draw together slightly. "You need to get some sleep."

I shrug, uncomfortable because of his worry for me. Because he knows I've been avoiding private dream land and probably thinks he knows why, too. Honestly, I'm just scared that once we're in a dream, I'll cave. Just like all of our dreams at the beginning. No matter what, we always ended up kissing and holding each other. I can't risk that right now and I'm not strong enough to hold my reserve when tempted. Easier to sneak an energy drink around midnight and crash later.

I joke, "Hopefully I can catch up during Geography today."

Fang's lips twitch. He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking over my head.

"Is everything okay? What do you want to talk about?"

Fang nods. "Nothing too important that I need my shrink for, yet. When I do, I'll let you know."

I bite the inside of my lip.

"We could try to make this hard and uncomfortable, and we could fight it before we give it a try," Fang mutters. "But we're past that. I don't want to play games. If there's one thing I know, we end up together."

"Okay," I whisper.

"You wore my first ring," Fang says, "even after we were split up." He continues in my mind, _Even when you were cursing me to hell, you wore it on a necklace. Because even if we weren't ready to be together right then, you knew we would be, someday._

_You're right_, I push to his mind.

"Well," he says. He pulls out my engagement ring, hanging on a simple gold chain. "Put it on."

**A/N: My question for y'all is a future story-related question: Would you rather read Pre-FAX or Post-FAX? I prefer Post, because there's OH SO MUCH ANGST. But then again, Pre also has a healthy amount of angst. Agh! Such a hard choice! I like Fax anytime, anywhere. There. Perfect.**

**Review! **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hi! Sorry this is so late! Or early. Or maybe midday, whatever, lucky you. It's 11:40 here and I'm so damn tired.**

**Guest: Yeah, Max and Fang actually talk about all that drama concerning their personal life in this chapter. Not saying one talk solves everything, and Max still has some reconciling to do with Aaron on that front, but there will be answers. Thanks for the review!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yes, it won't be too drastic. Thank you!**

**KLoves2Read: Make "Learning" a two- or three-shot? Geez. Kind of like how this "no more than ten chapters" novella turned into a long-ass novel? Ha. We'll see. ;) As for THIS review you left me: Yes, Nudge is wonderful. I love writing flock interactions, especially in times of angst. (As you can very well tell). Who would I meet? AW, shoot. That's such a hard question. Probably Iggy, because he's always been my favorite. Anyways, thanks for being the only one to shoot me a question. And you want to be surprised? Even though you got a sneak peek? I see how it is. Hah! Thanks so much, dear!**

**Hagbre5498: Thanks for the double review! Haha. I feel sick, too. Get well soon! And thanks :)**

**Stormchase4533: I'm so glad you love the story still! I love reading your reviews, it seriously brightens my entire day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**flytothemax97: Yeah. Max has never been as good at reading Fang's mind, and it's even harder post-Evelyn. But we'll get there. Thanks for the reviews! And I do have a few deleted scenes piled up, but I have no idea if they'll ever make it to publication or not. We'll see! **

**Nola96: Wow! Three reviews for one chapter! Hahaha. You crack me up, dude. Glad the chapter made you happy (twice). Hope this chapter makes you just as happy!**

**WithoutWings: Max and Fang clear up some confusion in this chapter...then there is more confusion. Sorry!**

**PolkadottedPandas: Ha! I never sign in either. Luckily my phone just keeps me signed in. Anyways, thanks for not being too lazy to review! Your thoughtful comments always make me smile! Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: UPDATE YOUR NEW STORY ASAP. Oh, and thank you. And I love you. That's all. **

**M WARNING: Some dream fun. And you guys will probably hate me, but oh well. **

MAX

Three days later, I'm sneaking out of the house with my pillow.

It's about two-thirty. Nudge, Emma and Angel are watching a marathon of recorded episodes of _The Bachelor _while they work on their homework in the living room. The guys are scattered, and something is cooking in the oven that smells like heaven.

The past few days have been hard. I've been avoiding sleep to avoid awkwardness between Fang and I, and it's definitely been showing. Nudge was kind enough to point out today at lunch that I'd gotten through half of the day with my cardigan inside-out.

So, I'm catching up on some much needed sleep in a stress-free environment. I mean, the house isn't a stressful place, _per se_, but I feel like Fang and I really suck at being broken up. It's hard for me to relax when I'm constantly thinking, _Am I still allowed to laugh at his jokes? Are we still allowed to help each other with homework? Can we still sit this close on the couch without breaking any rules?_

I just need a few hours to myself.

I land in the cave and throw my pillow down on the slab of rock in the darkness. I crawl onto it, curling up on my side and pulling my sleeves down over my fingertips. As soon as I'm curled into my own cocoon, I'm asleep.

Until something touches me. I yelp, jerking up into a sitting position so fast my head spins.

"Wha-what's-what's going…"

My eyes adjust, the familiar nose, ears, eyes and jaw take form before me, and I tiredly reach out to make sure he's real. Then I slump back against the cave wall, breathing heavy.

"You scared me."

"Clearly," Fang says. "Something wrong with your bed?"

Except for the fact that it's technically _our _bed? Nope. The thing is still comfortable as ever. Not to mention I finally can take up as much room as I want. But…

"I needed some peace and quiet," I say.

Fang says gently, "Thought you were going to start sleeping."

I motion to my pillow, but Fang isn't having it.

"At _night_."

I sigh.

"I don't trust myself to dream with you right now," I say honestly. Because, fuck. If we don't start being honest with each other, we never will. And nothing will ever be solved.

Fang sits up. "Will you just…try to get some actual sleep tonight?"

I sigh. "I'll try."

"Okay. Everyone can tell when you aren't."

I glare at him. "Yeah. Why didn't you tell me my cardigan was inside-out?" I demand.

Fang smirks but doesn't say anything. I shake my head. "So, you're going to Aaron's?"

Fang shakes his head. "He's got a date with Emily."

There are a lot of things I want to say about Aaron right now. A lot of unfinished business surrounding the few fallouts he and I have had. Come to think of it, Fang and I have a lot to talk about, to finally hash out honestly.

But, we're talking, _really talking_, for the first time since he gave me my ring on Monday. And I seriously miss him. So I don't want to bring it up, but I realize that if we keep pushing it off, we'll get too comfortable to bring it up again. If we push off talking and just pretend things are okay, it'll work. For a while. Then, when we decide to hash it out, it'll just reopen old wounds.

So I say, "Can we be honest for a second?"

Fang looks at me. I sit up all the way, pulling my pillow into my lap and sighing. "Do you get why I freaked out on Saturday?"

Fang sighs now. _Honestly? _"No."

"First I fight with Aaron," I say, dragging my fingertips over the rock we're sitting on. "Then, you spend weeks at Aaron's, for hours on end each night. And when you come home, you aren't really _there_. As if that didn't scare me enough, you show up hurt. With bruises. When I ask you about it, you get _defensive_. Like it's something to hide. So, yeah, maybe I overreacted, but it was you shooting out all the warning signs," I say quietly. "It fucking scared me."

He doesn't say anything. Maybe because he isn't sure what to say, but I don't think so. I think he stays quiet because he knows there's more. And there is.

"Then Aaron tells me," I say shakily, locking eyes with him, "that you told him about that night. And that hit me so hard, oh my, _God_, Fang - It…felt like you had jumped ship and joined Aaron's side, and for the first time since you've been home, I really felt _alone_."

"You…just kept pushing!" Fang says. "I was trying to sort out my own shit, okay? I didn't even know why that stupid fight with Patrick had me so riled up, and I was still trying to figure it out, and all the sudden you want to fight? You want me to fucking _hit _you? Are you kidding?"

I grab my head. "I don't…_understand_ that!"

"I know," Fang says, stretching his legs out before him. "I was afraid I'd lose it again. I didn't want those boundaries between now and then to get messed up in the middle of a match. And I know that you think I would've snapped out of it when I realized it was you, but all I could think about was that night…and how I _didn't _snap out it until it was over."

I watch Fang quietly. He's always put my safety first, above everything, and maybe he just doesn't get that _he _should come first right now. Or maybe _I'm _the one still not getting it.

"I told Aaron about that night because I had no other way to get him to help me," Fang says. "It was a desperate move. It was low. I shouldn't have done it. But… he didn't think I should start any physical training at all. So I kind of threatened him into it. You know? I told him that I'd taken you that way, forced you to let me, and he was so fucking mad…he threw the first punch _right then_."

"It's not his business," I mumble, wiping my eyes because this is so frustrating.

"I know," Fang says. "I'm sorry."

"I get it that guys talk, okay? Whatever makes you feel like a man-" I say snidely.

"That was not the point," Fang snaps. I look up and see his eyes focused on me, hard and unwavering. "This was not a bragging opportunity! Do you not get that I did this for us? I figured another scene of domestic violence would really break our relationship-"

"I guess you never figured that telling Aaron would actually do the trick, did you?" I whisper, snorting humorlessly.

Fang's jaw locks and he looks across the dark expanse of our small cave, blinking. "You're right, I didn't see that coming."

I move in front of him, kneeling. We're really close, probably pushing boundaries, but I don't care again. "That was _my _act of desperation," I say, holding my fist to my chest. "Breaking up was _my _decision, when _I _didn't know what to do or think."

"I forgive you," Fang whispers. "We'll see it through."

I nod, sitting back on my heels. "I forgive you for telling Aaron."

He nods.

We are silent.

"And I don't regret a single thing we've ever done," I say, because I feel like he needs to hear it. "Ever since you started chasing me, way back before any of this…I don't regret it." I touch his cheek, which is definitely crossing the line, but I don't pull my hand away. Not yet. "I could never regret you."

Fang tilts his head down. "Mind if I test that theory?"

I gasp quickly. The atmosphere changes at that exact moment. "Fang, brakes."

"Why?"

"We aren't…supposed to." Lame, I know.

Fang touches my waist, right below my ribs, and I feel like crawling into his arms. "I don't see anyone who's going to tell."

Well, _that _sounds dangerous.

Still, I'm the one who closes the gap. I guess I've always lived on the edge of danger. It's a very slow kiss, something we haven't shared in a long time. I pull back and Fang dives down for round two and I think, _Don't tempt me. _

Fang breathes, "I'll try not to."

We fly home in silence, together, and walk into the house through the backdoor, Fang speaking quietly and me laughing in response. The others are shocked, to say the least.

"Uh, hi, Max!" Angel calls, the first to wipe the surprise off her face.

"Hey," I say, kicking out of my shoes.

"Why do you have a pillow?" Gazzy asks in a bored voice, coming up beside Fang. I swing the pillow halfheartedly and catch Fang in the face, the pull the pillowcase away from the pillow a bit so I can slip it down over his head.

"It's a…versatile…weapon," I say, laughing a bit as Fang pulls the pillowcase off his head, leaving his hair more of a mess than usual. Gazzy rolls his eyes.

"Okay, whatever, Iggy made pizza."

I roll my eyes at Fang. _I love Gazzy. _

_Even when he's a dickhead preteen?_

I ruffle Gazzy's hair, even though he's unaware of this conversation and just thinks I'm being annoying. He swats my hand away and tells me to 'knock it off.'

_Even then. _

We manage a normal dinner for once. I feel relieved that Fang and I have talked and forgiven each other. And though my unresolved vision still looms in the back of my mind, things don't feel so hopeless today.

Later that night, I crawl into bed and wrap my covers around myself tightly. I promised Fang I would give sleep a try and I'm not as terrified of being alone with him now, anyways, so I decide to honor my promise. Our kiss is still reeling in my mind, and I have no idea why I let that happen. But all I have to do is keep myself occupied and keep the conversation away from romance and we'll be fine. Now that Fang knows my fears, he won't push my boundaries. Especially after our talk today.

Sleep comes so easy it's almost pathetic.

_She's still in bed. It's weird; waking up, essentially, in a dream. The only way she can tell it's a dream is that things aren't exactly real. Time skips, things appear with a thought, walls and furniture change colors, and Fang shows up without any warning. _

_One second he's in the doorway and the next he's in her bed - their bed - right beside her._

"_Whoa, what are you doing?" Max mumbles. "Red light."_

"_We've got a barrier," Fang argues, fingering the fabric of the comforter. "See?"_

"_Yeah, like that's stopped us before."_

_Fang smirks, totally up to no good. He curls up against her, his face close to hers, and she should put a stop to this but she doesn't because she loves breaking rules almost as much as she loves cuddling with Fang. _

"_What do you think about…Canada?" Fang asks. _

"_As a country?" she mumbles. _

"_No. Like, if we were to move."_

"_Why would we move?" she asks. _

"_Because," Fang says, still pulling her closer. His hands are moving all over the place. "We could start new somewhere like Canada."_

"_Choose somewhere warmer," she says, trailing after his hands, trying to catch up and stop them. He laughs in her ear, trailing his big, heated hands down her chest. Max's hands follow and his backtrack, trapping her hands over her own chest. He's laughing and she blushes, pushing his hands away. She pinches him, which is how she combines affection and a warning punch in the throat. Fang lowers his lips to kiss her shoulders and collarbone through her shirt and that's when she realizes he is no longer on top of the covers. _

"_Red light, red light, red light…" she moans as he pulls off her shirt. "Fang-" she cuts herself off as his lips descend again, this time without the resistance of her cotton t-shirt. His lips run over her sensitive skin, paying careful, torturous attention to the most important parts, and she tries to keep her mouth shut and struggle not to pull him closer._

"_This is bad…this is bad…don't stop…" she groans, pushing out of her shorts. Fang helps, grinning against her lips. _

"_Technically, you owe _me _one, right?"_

_Max looks seriously at him. "No."_

_He rolls his eyes. His hand slips between her legs and slides against hot, slick flesh and holy shit she misses him. _

"_Please," she whines quietly, pushing against his fingers. He slowly gives in to her rocking hips, making her smother a moan into his shoulder as he stretches her with two fingers. _

"_Oh, ah, oh God…" she whimpers, squirming against him. It feels so freaking perfect that she doesn't even care they're breaking ten of their new rules. Oh well. She's already close, that's how far gone she is. _

_"Fang! God, I need you," she coos. While a string of pleases leave her lips his finger slowly rubs circles around her swollen button. _

_"You have me, beautiful," Fang coos right back._

...And then I wake up.

**A/N: I'm evil I'm evil I'm evil...I won't tell you why because it will ruin it, but...review. **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hi. Thank you. Much love. Read. **

MAX

I have never hated someone so much in my life.

Okay, that is a lie. There's no way I could ever, ever hate Fang as much as I hate a lot of people…his shitty mother included.

But _what the hell_.

I lay in my bed, my fingers playing subconsciously with the waistband of my shorts. It's six in the morning, pretty much time to get up, and the house is still quiet. I can't imagine what pulled me from my dream so quickly. All I know is: If Fang was going to be a dick and break all of the rules, he could've at least gotten me off.

It's hot, my, uh, predicament is. And sticky and uncomfortable and _really annoying_, considering Fang has just blatantly ruined everything. I mean, it's hard enough for us to act normal around each other _without _him ravaging me in our dream. What was he thinking?

I get up, running to the bathroom and stripping, ready to wash away everything that dream has woken up inside me. Of course, since my life sucks, showers don't really help as much as teenage boys claim they do. Or, maybe mine doesn't help just because I couldn't really bring myself to shower in cold water. I don't know - does it even work for girls the same way?

As soon as I'm out of the shower, the household is awake and bustling. Actually, correction: the household, sans Gazzy, is awake and bustling. I have to wake Gazzy up three times before he makes his grand entrance into the kitchen where he promptly shoves as much food into his mouth at once as possible.

Fang comes down the stairs, dressed and well-rested. _Fucking gag me_. The fact that he always seems ten time less affected by our escapades than I am makes me so furious. In fact, when he kindly hands me a thermos of coffee exactly how I like it, I glare at him.

His face flashes into a shocked expression for a moment, then relaxes into impassivity. _Sleep okay?_

"Oh, fuck you," I mumble, ripping open my Poptart package angrily.

Fang shrugs is off, rolling his eyes. He sets my thermos next to where I'm sitting on the counter and grabs his own mug, the navy blue one Angel got him years ago that says _World's Okayest Brother _on it. He sits at the table and Nudge blurts, "Weren't you guys on good terms, like, ten hours ago?"

I dig into Fang's mind to find him thinking, _There is no way I somehow fucked up between last night and right now. _

Oh, that just makes me see red.

Yes, we kissed yesterday. But it was an isolated event, very controlled and very, positively a one-time splurge moment. What he did in our dream was uncalled for. It was exactly what I'd been afraid of, exactly the reason I'd been avoiding sleep entirely. And what does he do? Convince me to go to sleep just so he can make this ten times harder for me?

I block him. If he doesn't get it right now, then he's hopeless.

Having no idea what to think about us right now, I start thinking about Aaron. We have so much to talk about. Just thinking about everything that's happened since Fang's been home, I wonder if we'll all ever get back to normal. Is it even possible?

My mind runs through everything Aaron's ever done for me. I mean, he is one dedicated mofo. He's like Nudge in some ways; he pushes boundaries, but with good reason. He puts his all into everything, especially relationships. And he's one of the most loyal people I've ever known.

He's clicked so easily with every one of us, taking our problems and doubts and paranoia in stride.

I know then that it doesn't matter if it will be easy to recover our friendship or not. I have to try.

At school, I do exactly that. I make a point of asking Aaron for help with my upcoming Physics final. He jumps at the opportunity, his eyes hopeful, and he tells me he'll be the best damn tutor I've ever had.

"Good," I say. "Because I have a D."

He grimaces. "Okay, well, I'm no _magician_-"

I smack his arm. We're in the lunch line, waiting on today's special which isn't really that special because we have it every Friday. Mozzarella sticks. "It's a D _plus_," I commend.

"At that point, a D is a D," Aaron says. "But no fear, I've gotcha."

"Okay, well don't tell the others," I say. "I can't really yell at them for their grades if mine are barely passing."

Aaron laughs. "True. Struggles of a teen mom with teen kids."

"Yeah, my life is pretty tough," I say.

We make our way to our lunch table where Holden, Nudge, Ella and Fang are already seated. I end up between Fang and Aaron. Fang looks at me, calculating my mood, maybe, and I frown.

"Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't try anything, Fang. I will kick your ass."

Iggy barks out a laugh, sliding into the empty seat across from me. "Sounds like normal, eh? _Finally_."

I angry rip my mozzarella stick in half. These things are so pathetic the cheese doesn't even stretch out endlessly. Instead, the breading breaks in half and all of the cheese goes to one side, the other left an empty, sad carcass.

I feel like the latter at this point.

"What's going on?" Fang whispers. He looks genuinely concerned - and even more genuinely lost.

"What's going on?" I seethe. I've been blocking him all day and avoiding any contact, mostly out of spite. But the fake concern in his eyes, the fake _innocence _\- it seriously makes me want to castrate him. _Every single thing we've been working towards, you ruined in one night!_

Fang sets down his fork, eyeing me skeptically. _How? _

I press my hands to the tabletop to stop myself from making fists and pummeling the shit out of him. _How? Seriously?_

Fang raises an eyebrow, looking back down at his food. _Yeah, how? _

"You are unbelievable," I mumble, draining my milk.

The others are watching us, have been for a while, and Ella says casually, "I'm still not used to the mind-conversation thing."

Ignoring her, Fang stands up, scooting his chair back. "Come on."

"No."

"We're being honest, _remember_?" Fang hisses.

"Well I honestly don't want to talk to you right now," I say stubbornly.

"Max-"

I huff and stand up, letting Fang push me out of the lunch room and into the quiet hallway.

"What is going on?"

I break down.

"You are ruining everything!" I hiss, poking his chest. "What you did to me last night was uncalled for! We said we were going to put a stop to all of that."

Fang looks so confused it's almost hysterical. Almost.

"What are you _talking _about?"

"Our dream, you moron," I say.

Fang shakes his head. "What dream?"

"Don't play stupid," I say, smacking his arm. "Last night? Our room? I kept telling you it was a bad idea…"

Fang doesn't say anything. His face stays confused for a long time before he says in frustration, "Max, we didn't share a dream last night."

Cue me opening and closing my mouth like a beached fish.

Oh.

Oh.

_Oh God_.

Fang's eyes widen slightly and his mouth turns up into a sick grin. I finally stutter out, "Forget it."

Fang lets out a short laugh. "I don't think I can."

My face is hot as hell. I can't believe this is happening. I want to laugh and cry and punch Fang all at once. _Wow, Max, way to go, I think to myself_.

"That's why you were mad at me?" Fang presses, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because…because you-"

"Don't say it, Fang, I mean it-"

"-had a sex dream about me?" The skin by his eyes crinkles at the corners. Usually I would find this undeniably cute, a reminder of Fang's expressions as a child before he learned how to mask himself fully. Right now, it's just humiliating.

"Shut up," I mumble. "It felt real."

Fang laughs, like for real this time. "Well, I'm sure!"

I glower at him.

"How could you not tell the difference?" Fang asks curiously.

"I told you, it was…real. Felt real. You know, when I, um, woke up."

Fang raises an eyebrow, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Did you at least finish?"

I elbow him, hard. He chuckles under his breath. I guess he is just really amused by this, but I think it's also that he's really, really relieved that I'm not actually angry at him.

"If you must know, _no_," I blurt. I don't even know why, it just slips out.

Fang grins at me, so unholy it makes my toes curl in my sneakers.

"You should've known the difference, Max," Fang says coyly. "I never would've left you hanging like that."

• • •

"Wanna come running with me?"

Fang's sitting on the couch later that night, typing something up on his laptop. He glances up at me, sees my tying up my beat-up running shoes, and says, "What?"

"Running. With me. Want to?"

Fang contemplates it for a second.

"Sure," he says, closing his computer.

It's that simple. Five minutes later he and I are steadily making our way through the woods that surround our house. There are no set paths, but after running the same trail over and over again I've kind of made a path of my own. Fang follows without question, steadily keeping up with me.

The night is cool, the sky darkening quickly. It's going to storm, I can tell. Electricity rolls through the air and sends some invisible energy coursing through me.

We stop for a breather after we get about three miles from the house. Fang is really getting back into shape; we're both panting the same amount, but he looks fine for someone who just ran three miles. I bend over, breathing slowly, while Fang takes a swig of water, swishes it around in his mouth, and spits it into the leaves.

"Cramp?" I wheeze, looking at him curiously.

Fang shrugs.

I straighten up, walking around the small clearing. "Pretty dense forest we got here, huh?"

He doesn't answer. I turn to make sure he's really as okay as I thought, but he isn't there. At the same time, thunder rolls in the distance and reaches us with a loud _crack_! I jump, covering my mouth and hopefully stopping the squeal from being heard.

"Heard that," Fang says, right in my ear. I jump away from him, gasping.

That's how it starts. As soon as the rain starts to fall, Fang and I are now in an interesting game of silent _catch me if you can_. At first it's just a fun game of taunting. I push Fang, he pushes me. Eventually he takes it too far and backs me up against a tree, restricting me there. We're both thoroughly soaked by now, as the rain is steadily falling.

I break away from him and am automatically on defense. We collide playfully, unthinkingly, and fall to the ground together, laughing and rolling in the damp leaves and muddy puddles. I scoot back, Fang moves to get up, and I pull him into a restricted position where I'm holding his arm back. Fang's eyes flash and that should be my warning sign but for some reason it doesn't register right away.

He yanks his body away, frantically trying to escape, and I resist for a split second, which is more than enough.

_Pop_!

It's the sickest noise I've ever heard. My heart thumps in my throat and I whisper, "Shit. Fang, are you-"

He rolls back, crawling away. There isn't pain on his face, like I expect, but there is _fear_. Real, raw fear. This is bad.

His shoulder is wrong, something is off, I think it's out of socket. I see the fear on his face and feel my stomach roll and have to fix this, now, now, _now_.

"Oh, my God, I didn't mean to-" I step closer, this time holding my hand out gingerly, and Fang moves away.

"Back off, Max," he says, his voice shaking. He stumbles and catches himself with his hurt arm, but the pain doesn't even register on his face.

"Stop! You're hurting yourself, Fang, stop it!"

A few more rain drops hit my face. This is it. My vision. Thunder cracks almost right on top of us.

"Get away from me, Max."

"Why? Fang, you're hurt and it's getting bad out here, stop moving!"

"Because I will hurt you if you don't get away from me!"

He pushes me, with both arms, not even flinching when he uses his dislocated shoulder. He's so out of it, it's so terrifying.

"Don't fucking shove me!"

He's looking right through me and it's scary as fuck, I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't actually afraid. Fang shoves me, hard, and I stumble back into a puddle of mud.

I can see it in his eyes. He's had this injury before, this exact pain.

But it wasn't from me.

And it wasn't on accident.

I just shoved him into a memory without even thinking.

_Fucking stupid. _

"Stay away from me, Max. I fucking mean it," Fang growls, already backing out of the clearing. "And _don't _follow me."

I watch him stumble off, my heart in my throat.

_What have I just done to him? _


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: It was **_**really **_**hard to watch the Oscars and edit this at the same time, but I tried. **

**KLoves2Read: It **_**felt **_**TMW-y while I wrote it! I was like, wait, am I writing for the right story right now? Haha. Yes, Fang and Max finally handled a meltdown the best way they knew how. They're figuring things out, just like I said they would…yay! Thanks for the loyalty and reviewing for each chapter like it's your job! I really appreciate you and girl, you rock. **

**Hagbre5498: Sorry it took me so long, but it's here! Thank you!**

**Flytothemax97: I'm so glad you loved it! Thanks for the review!**

**WithoutWings: Yeah, well, I promised a few awks at the beginning of the story! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Their lives are very turbulent right now, so I'm glad I somehow made it feel natural enough of a 180. Thank you!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Don't worry too much. Fang and Max are getting there, with the help of some pushes. You'll see. Thanks!**

**Stormchase4533: I don't try to be evil, really! But, I mean, Max had it coming. You don't give up something as glorious as Fang without repercussions. Yeah, Evelyn sucks. Here's your update! Thank you so much!**

**Nola96: Yes, like I said to WithoutWings, their lives are turbulent and sometimes they go from 0 to 60 in a blink. Thanks for the review! Don't worry, Max and Fang are figuring things out, finally. **

**FaxFiction: I am not letting myself read your latest update until I have time to review, which is sadly not right now. Hopefully I can do it tomorrow morning and make it wonderful. I'm excited! Anyways, glad you aren't getting too irritated with Aaron. He's coming from good intentions, obviously, and Fang seriously messed up. I think you understand my story on a totally new level and it makes me so happy that someone thinks like me! Yay! Yes Fang still has issues. Yes, Fang is working through serious stuff. Yes, he gets unexpected help in this chapter and yes, they will figure things out soon. Yay again! Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing and being awesome and just…thanks. **

**WingedArcher01: Please don't kill me. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you a million times for reviewing! **

**Well, read on friends. Sorry it was a long wait for a "meh" chapter. **

MAX

Being torn in two.

That's what it feels like.

Every fiber in my being wants to follow him. It's cold out, raining harder than before, and the last thing I want him to do is hurt himself. He isn't in the right state of mind - my fault - and his shoulder is dislocated, by the looks of it - oh, yeah, my fault.

I need to fix this.

_He won't trust you ever again if you follow him, _a voice whispers in my mind. I know it isn't _the Voice_, because Harrison hasn't used the mind connection since the fall of Itex and Jeb hasn't since my coma. No; the voice in the back of my head is me, a more logical part of me, probably inspired and kept alive by Fang himself. And it tells me, _Don't do it. Don't. He'll be fine. _

Somehow, I feel like I'm deserting him and obeying him at the same time. And it hurts.

I almost want to stay in that clearing until he comes back, but realistically I know he won't. He'll go home or to Aaron's before he comes back here, and waiting for him in this puddle of mud, I'll freeze. Then I really won't be any help.

So, ten minutes later, shivering and drenched in water and mud, I stumble into the house. Searching for him is what I really want to do, but he deliberately told me not to and I am not about to break his trust like that. If I want him to trust me to help him, then I'll back off when he needs me to.

Surprisingly, the only person I run into on my way to the shower is Holden and he says, "You probably tracked that through the entire house, didn't you?"

I glance down at my muddy feet and drop a curse. "Probably. I'm taking a shower."

Holden shrugs and continues down the stairs and I escape into the bathroom, lucky to not have been bombarded with questions. My mind is racing, but somehow the only coherent thought that gets through is one that I've thought a million times too many in the past two years.

_Fucking come home to me Fang. Just…come home. _

• • •

"Who made a mess in the hallway?" Nudge demands. "I just stepped in mud!"

"My bad," I say, dropping my wad of muddy clothes in the deep sink of the laundry room and turning on the faucet. "Hold on, I'll clean it up in a second!"

Gazzy's head of unruly hair pokes in the doorway of the laundry room and looks at me incredulously. "Max made a mess? Where?"

"There must be some mistake!" Angel cries from the family room.

"Oh, ha ha," I call, then add under my breath, "Twerps."

I ring out my clothes and make my way into the hallway with the mop to erase my track of muddy footprints when the phone rings.

"Hello?" I hear clanking, shifting of pots and pans, and then Iggy's footsteps. "Yeah, hold on."

I lean the mop against the wall and hold out my hand for the phone before Iggy is even in the hall with me. As soon as I raise the phone to my ear and say, "Yes?" my mother is sighing.

"He's here, honey."

I sigh, taking hold of the mop again. "Good. Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I reset his shoulder and put him in a sling…he's showering now and I'm going to make him stay tonight."

"He was just thrown into the memory so fast," I say quietly. "I wanted to follow him, but…he told me not to. He was worried he'd hurt me." I laugh humorlessly. "I'm the one who hurt him."

"Max, any normal trauma victim…would not have been strong enough to do that," Mom says in all seriousness. "I know you know his strength, and what it used to be…but don't think for a second it isn't there."

I let that sink in for a second.

"Thank you," I say quietly. "Seriously, mom, thanks. And…not just for calling."

"I know," Mom says. "And you're welcome."

• • •

When he comes out of the guest room, Valencia is sitting in the kitchen alone.

"Do they still fit?" she asks softly, lifting her head as he walks into the room. Fang glances down at the cotton pajama pants the Dr. M had pulled out of nowhere for him and he nods. She smiles and turns, pulling a plate out of the microwave.

"Good. Your clothes are in the dryer now," she says, setting the plate in front of him. "Eat."

She doesn't have to tell him twice. She never does.

"You're a winner, Fang," Val starts quietly, well aware of who she is talking to. This is quite a gamble. "Nothing has ever beat you, not the School and not Itex…"

She turns around busies herself with cleaning the already pristine counter top. "The only thing I've ever seen you lose to is Max, and I think that's just because you let her."

She drops the façade. They both know her kitchen is clean, that she just doesn't want to look at him. So she looks at him. And even at his intense stare, she doesn't look away. Not now, when it really matters.

"So. Why is Evelyn winning?"

He says nothing.

"She is _one person_," Val says. "One person who means less than the dried mud on your shoes, so tell me: Are you _letting _her win?"

Fang's jaw clenches. "No."

"I know you aren't letting her win. I know you're fighting, because I know that you're a _fighter_." Val puts her hands on the counter between them. "But for someone who turned your life upside down, someone who took everything from you, you have to fight a little harder."

This is pissing him off. Maybe this is pushing him too far. But who knows? Who knows until they try? They've tried nearly everything, and now he needs a bigger push.

"Any other person in your position would not recover so totally or quickly. Any other person in your position may not recover, _ever_. But you aren't any other person. So, you are going to get past this."

Fang looks at her. His thoughts, she thinks, must be a combination of _You suck _and _Thanks. _She'll take it. She nods at his untouched plate.

"Eat your dinner."

• • •

The next morning, Fang is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast with Holden and Iggy. I pull my jacket on, walking into the room, the smell of pancakes hitting me immediately.

"Mmm," I sigh, breathing deep. "Smells good."

"Blueberry or chocolate chip?" Iggy asks.

I snort. "Is that even a question?"

Holden rolls his eyes and passes Iggy a cupful of chocolate chips. I look at Fang.

"Where's your sling?"

Fang raises an eyebrow. "I feel fine."

"Oh yeah?"

_Yeah_, he thinks. _And we're sparring today. You and me._

_Fang-_

_I'm ready. _

I watch him curiously. _Okay._

"Pay you back for almost breaking my arm."

"I'm _sorry_," I mumble grouchily under my breath, grabbing the apple juice from the refrigerator.

"You will be."

He's very close to me, now. When I turn around, there isn't even enough room for the apple juice jug to fit between us. If it were just Iggy in the room, perhaps we could've gotten away with it, but Holden is watching us suspiciously and it makes me nervous. Fang looks down at me, blocking out everything else. I suck my bottom lip between my teeth and he _watches_.

_I want to kiss you right now. You have no idea. _

I let out a breath, an incredulous breath of a laugh, glancing once again behind him at Holden and Iggy. After everything the last 24 hours has brought us, this is what he says to me. I can't say I'm disappointed.

_But I won't, _Fang's voice taunts in my head.

Okay. Now I'm a little disappointed.

_Why? Because we're broken up and you aren't allowed? Because we have…witnesses? _I think back. Just by the look on his face, I know he isn't angry that I dislocated his arm. And I know that he is thankful that I trusted him enough to not chase after him. _Because they'll tell?_

Fang's lips twitch. _Because I'm not going to kiss you again until I can do something about it. Finish what I've started. Follow through. _

Embarrassingly enough, my whole body responds to _that_ one.

_And Max?_

…_Yes?_

_Your mom can be a real bitch when she wants to. _

_Oh yeah? _

_Guess we know where you get it. _

**A/N: Sorry its short. Things are about to start getting progressively better for our favorite OTP - but not before one more meltdown. Don't worry, the next one is Max's and Fang comes to the rescue. I know. Exciting. Hold onto your hats, folks. **

**Review! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Sorry I fell off the face of the earth. **

**Sorry I also am literally on my way out the door to work for ten hours (shocker, right?) so I will definitely respond to reviews the next time around. I love you all too much. **

**Fic rec: Go check out **_**desperatelyobvious **_**and **_**Faxfiction**_**, who both have way better grasps of this fandom than I do. **

**Read on!**

MAX

I prop my books up between my midsection and the bank of lockers and use one hand to turn the dial. The bell rang already and kids are booking it through the halls, whether to lunch or to their next class. Kids push and shove behind me, shouting across the halls. I close my eyes as I open my locker and think, _Eight more days. Eight more school days until we're off for two weeks. You can make it. _

_You just have to survive finals first. _

"Let's go, Ride!"

I look up to see Aaron standing a few yards down the hall, waiting impatiently. I close my locker and roll my eyes, moving to join him.

"Want to tutor tonight?" he says, pushing open the doors to the lunch room. "I'm free."

"Uh…yeah, we'll just come over after school," I say, slipping into the cafeteria before him. "I think we could fit in some studying."

Aaron and I are finally on good terms, so I don't feel like bringing up the sparring that Fang has challenged me to yet. Especially because the last time I let Fang make a decision because he was ready, Aaron accused me of "fucking the problems away."

We get in the lunch line. I see Iggy and Fang come into the cafeteria across the room and head for our table. Aaron is muttering something about why he doesn't eat cafeteria salad anymore when two girls from my Lit class turn around and spot me.

_Ugh_.

"Hey, Max, are you going to the dance next week?" What a totally cliché question.

My totally non-cliché answer? "Dance? What dance?"

Aaron snorts behind me, grabbing two juices and setting one on my outstretched tray. He nudges me forward with his elbow and says softly, "Winter dance. It's next Friday, the day before break."

"Uh, nope," I say the girls, forcing a smile. "Have fun, though."

"Why aren't you going?" one of them, Bailey, asks. "It's the perfect excuse to get that boy of yours in a tux."

"Or out of one."

Bailey gapes. "Oh, my _God_!"

Oh my God is right. Jeez.

I slowly add wrapped chicken sandwich to my tray, glancing sidelong at Aaron. He holds up a cup of baby carrots and raises an eyebrow, like, want some? I shake my head. Aaron is such a guy he isn't even hearing any of this.

"…just saying, even though they live together, they probably don't get much alone time. They have like ten million siblings."

"Casey! They _broke up_."

Casey's jaw drops. "What? Why? He's like…_guh_, I mean…That just doesn't make sense."

Bailey smiles tentatively at me while shooting her friend a "You're being really insensitive" look. Casey ignores it.

"Well, all I'm saying is I'll go with him if you don't, Max."

I sigh. I want to explain to her that, yes, technically we are on a break. But we aren't exes. We aren't…over. We are meant to be with each other. He's not open for business.

But how do you explain that without sounding like a possessive ex?

Right. I keep my mouth shut.

"A guy like that has got to know what he's doin', ya know?"

I stare at her incredulously. Bailey mouths _Sorry _and drags her friend away, and I'm still staring off into space in disbelief.

He _doesn't _know what he's doing!

At all!

The only reason he's so good at it is because he has VIP access to my brain! He was a damn virgin until three months ago!

Again, impossible to explain to these girls. Oh well.

"Earth to Max," Aaron says. I look up at him, blinking, and he's holding up a bag of chips. I shrug, letting him throw them on my tray.

We pay for our food then head to the table, and Aaron says curiously to me on the way, "Why is Fang's arm in a sling?"

I blurt, not even listening to him, "Why does going to the dance with someone automatically mean you're sleeping with them?"

Aaron looks down at me. "How does that answer my question?"

I sigh and move ahead of him, sliding into the seat next to Nudge.

"I'm so glad it's almost winter break," Nudge says, exhaustion clear on her face. "I'm terrified for my Geometry final."

"I feel the same bout Physics," I say. "Hey, are you going to the dance?"

I feel slightly neglectful, because if I were a good mother figure Nudge and I would have already talked about this long before now. I hadn't even made sure she had a dress or anything. So much has been going on, though, it's a shock I remember to come to do school on any kind of functioning level.

Nudge frowns. "No. Isaac asked me, but…I don't want to go with him."

I raise my eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Who do you want to go with?"

"There's a winter dance?" Fang asks.

I set down my juice, nodding. "I know, right? I barely realized it was finals week already."

Nudge touches my shoulder, dragging my attention back to her. "There's this guy. Riley."

_There's this guy. I hate when she starts stories that way, _I think, nodding at her earnestly. "How old is he?"

"My grade, don't worry," she reassures mockingly. "He'll never ask me, which is why I should just go with Isaac, but…"

"Don't go with Isaac if you don't like him," Ella says. "Just come with us. We've got a pretty big group, half the people going with us are single."

Nudge frowns. "What? A bunch of single girls and…you and Iggy?"

"Single guys, too," Ella prompts. "I swear. And Emily and Aaron…if they make it that long," she adds in a whisper.

"Hmmm…" Nudge looks thoughtful. The guys have moved onto a different conversation already, Holden making big hand gestures as he tells his story. I focus on eating while Nudge and Ella start talking about dresses. Since it's so last minute, Ella offers some dresses from her past dances to Nudge and Nudge almost faints, I swear.

"What about you, Max?" Nudge asks, pulling me back into the conversation.

I shake my head. "Nope." Then, glancing at Fang, I add, "And no, to what you're thinking."

He nods. I mean, of course, that I'm not saying no just because we're broken up.

"Why not?" Ella asks, frowning.

"Not really my scene."

Iggy snorts. "Ain't that the truth."

Everyone laughs and I reach over to slap the back of his head. He rubbed his scalp, grinning. "Soon as there's a dance themed _Eraser Attack_, I'll let you know."

• • •

Later that night, Aaron and I are going through Physics problems and Iggy and Fang are running through basic defense and offense techniques. We're in Aaron's basement, but the coffee table and recliner have been shoved haphazardly against the wall to make room for the sparring.

"Okay, where'd you get 11.2?" I ask, tapping my notebook. "I think you lost me."

Aaron backpedals, explaining velocity and blah blah blah, and I glance up to watch Fang expertly dodge one of Iggy's blows.

"Pay attention," Aaron goads, elbowing me. "Do you want to pass Physics or not?"

I groan, turning my sights back to the open textbook and notes before me. "Yes. I want to pass Physics."

"Okay," Aaron says. "Watch again - you just have to know when to use which formula."

I watch, unhappily, as Aaron repeats his steps for the problem. He makes it look so easy, and I think maybe I've got the hang of it, until it's time for me to try on my own. I get stuck halfway through, throw down my pencil and look at him.

"Can't I just write the answers on my hand?"

Aaron looks at me incredulously. "You do get why that wouldn't work, right?"

The door at the top of the stairs opens before I can respond and Mrs. Camp calls, "Hon, your food's here!"

Aaron sighs and stands up, grabbing the pile of money we'd created on the table. "Food break, and then we're _really _going to focus on Physics," he says.

Right. We said that two hours ago, when Fang insisted that we all push off homework and beating the living crap out of each other to have some actual fun. Which resulted in us watching Comedy Central for the remainder of those two hours.

"Definitely," I say with a sarcastic serious tone, and Aaron rolls his eyes at me as he moves barefoot across the carpet and up the stairs to retrieve our take out.

Iggy slaps Fang on the shoulder, saying, "Nice, man. That last one fucking hurt." He windmills his arm a couple times, holding his shoulder, then says, "I'm starving."

Fang nods in agreement, sitting down on the couch beside me and cracking open a coke. He's slightly sweaty and breathing harshly, but they both came out of that fight relatively spotless. Fang reaches behind his head, grabs the back of his sweatshirt and yanks it over his head. The grey shirt he's wearing underneath follows halfway up, and I get an unadulterated view of his toned back and folded wings, scars, flexing muscles, beautiful black feathers and all. He throws his sweatshirt then glances at me, pulling the cotton t-shirt down to conceal his olive skin. I curl my toes into the soft carpet of Aaron's basement and say nothing, but it doesn't matter. He already notices.

I dip into his mind and am amused to find: _Broken up my ass. At this point we're just celibate. _

I actually let out a laugh at that one, pushing myself off the couch to get a drink from Aaron's mini fridge.

"Fifty-three dollars," Aaron calls, trampling down the stairs loudly with two large bags of Chinese. "This better be some damn good mu shu pork."

"The _best_," I say, opening my Sprite. "It's amazing."

"Fifty bucks? That's nothing for us. You should see the bill when we go to fancy restaurants," Iggy says, already digging through the bags.

"Yeah, that's why we don't go to fancy restaurants," Fang says lowly.

"Well, that, and because we can't ever seem to reach the maturity level," I joke. "Where's my chicken?"

"Is it the spicy one?" Aaron asks, opening a container of bright red chicken and red peppers.

"Mmm, yes. Over here." I lean forward and grab the paper container he shoves at me, taking a fork and settling back against the cushions happily.

"How do you eat that without washing it down?" Aaron asks incredulously as I fork a piece into my mouth. "That stuff is _hot_."

"As long as you keep eating, you don't notice," I say. "When you stop, that's when it hits you."

"When she's got a few pieces left, you'll want to get a glass of milk ready," Fang says. "Or she'll go ballistic."

"_Can't _be that hot," Iggy says, inhaling his noodles.

Fang shrugs. "Watch."

"Why do you put yourself through that?" Aaron laughs. He's emptying three soy sauce packets into his container of rice, and no one is railing on him for his choices. That shit is _gross_.

"It's so _good_."

Together, we tackle about eight boxes of take-out. Fang is right about the milk, as he always is, and my mouth is on fire by the time Aaron hands me a glass. I gulp it down, almost crying at the relief of washing away the spicy hotness on my tongue. I flop down on the couch after we've cleared all the trash away and groan, my hands on my stomach.

"I can't do anything."

"Yes, you can," Aaron says confidently. "You're leaving here a Physics genius. Ig, would you mind throwing this stuff away in the garage so it doesn't stink up the house? I'm going to go grab my backpack - maybe it'll help to have _all _the notes."

The chastising message of _Stop falling asleep in class _is there - subtle but there. I groan in response, turning onto my stomach. I flex my wings out, stretching them to their full length before pulling them back in slowly. I feel ready for bed.

"You got something in your wing," Fang says, breaking the silence now that the other two boys have left us alone. I peek over my shoulder, ruffling my feathers, trying to shake whatever it is out.

Fang grabs my hand and pulls me up. "Come here."

I turn around and Fang comes up behind me, his fingers digging through my wings and scratching exactly where he knows I like it. I groan, stretching my wings more.

"I think you were lying about something being stuck back there," I say softly.

Fang breathes against my neck, "Nope. Here."

He shows me a small twig about the size of my pinky, then continues running his fingers through my feathers. He takes the small twig and pokes me in the back and I squeak, jumping. I laugh, "Fang, control yourself. No more shenanigans in Aaron's house, remember?"

Fang's wing comes around and whaps me in the head.

"How do you casually ask your ex if she wants to fight," Fang murmurs, his words and his behavior totally contradicting each other. His hands are on my waist, now, his fingers stroking my abdomen. What does _fight _mean again? I'm vaguely trying to remember the quote about love and war, but my brain seems to have shorted out.

"We're not exes," I say teasingly, leaning back against him. "We're basically just celibate at this point."

Fang's hands drop to my hips. I know this is bad, I know this is not how two platonic friends behave, but Fang and I have blurred the line between friends and lovers so many times that I'm not even sure there is one anymore. If this 'broken up' bullshit is all it takes to keep the others satisfied, then we're going to keep doing what we do. And yeah, taking the sex out the equation was a good move, but it's a littler harder to take away the banter and natural closeness that comes with our relationship. If there's anything I've learned in the past few weeks, it's that.

"I'm working on changing that, trust me," Fang says softly.

"We've got a long way to go," I say, my fingers following his cautiously to put a stop to any funny business.

_Right, like that worked in my dream, _I think, rolling my eyes.

"We'll get there," Fang says casually, his chin against the scar on my shoulder that he gave me as a child.

"Are we doing this? Right now?" I ask, just to be sure.

He doesn't answer, but he doesn't object, and that's enough for me. I shrug him off my shoulder and twist away from him, holding my arms out.

"Go ahead," I say, offering the first move to him. Fang shakes his head. I study him, watching his stance, before I shrug and pounce, knocking into his chest and making him stumble.

"Hit me."

"What's going on?" Iggy says, coming down the stairs.

"Hit me!"

"_Jesus_, Max," Iggy breathes, coming closer. I fling up my hand, wishing he could read hand gestures.

"Stop, Iggy."

"Do it," I say, pushing him. "Hit me. Come on, Fang."

After five seconds, I throw the first hit at him. Fang barely, _barely _dodges it, but his reflexes are getting better. I don't give him long before I throw another one, though. This one catches him in the jaw and I say meanly, "You know my moves, Fang. This is _kindergarten_."

"Max! What are you doing?" Iggy says, making his way between us. "Stop!"

"No! It was his idea, now back off," I say. "Come on, Fang. We can do this."

In a flash, Fang's leg shoots up and he aims a kick at my midsection. I jump away at the last second, but he clips my side.

I let out a breathless laugh. "Trying to psych me out?"

Fang grins momentarily before really coming down on me, his fist so fast I barely see it. But I see it.

"Good try," I comment, using another one of our classic sparring moves on him. He's still a split second too slow.

Were both panting, now, and Iggy has resigned himself to the couch. As Fang throws another punch, Aaron enters the room and cries, "What are you _doing_?"

Iggy sighs. "Just let them. It's better they do it with us around rather than hiding it."

I punch him in the stomach, right under the ribs, almost three times before he catches my fist and puts me in a headlock.

"You're catching on," I say breathlessly, wiggling against him.

"I'm a fast learner," Fang says, his lips on my earlobe.

Oh, _God_.

I swallow, elbowing him in the gut so hard he lets up his grip. I kick his chin and roll over on top of him, holding him down. Fang pushes my shoulders back until I'm thrown off of him and we're both crouching, still, in the middle of Aaron's man cave.

I laugh, switching my weight from knee to knee. "What're you waiting for, hon?"

That's when his eyes darken.

I gasp as he lunges for me and slams me against the wall, my head falling back against the wall with a loud crack. Both the boys are up off the couch in seconds, ready to get him off me.

"No!" I see, out of the corner of my eye, Iggy and Aaron stepping forward, and I throw up my hand though. "Not your fight."

"Max-" Aaron says, his eyes trained on Fang, who's rigid and crushing me against the wall.

"I've got it."

Yes, I've got it. Even while Fang has me up against the wall and he's holding my arms tightly, I've got it.

I think, _Fang? _

He blinks, but I still feel like he's seeing right through me. I wrestle my hands out from between the wall and his body so I can touch his cheek, slowly try something to bring him out of his head. _Fang, come on. Fight it. You got it. I know you see me. Where are you? _

His grip on me tightens, and that's the first sign I get that he's fighting. I let out a relieved sigh.

_Fang, she isn't real. I'm real. She's not here - I am. Come back to me. Come on. _

The monster in his eyes is still there, still glaring at me like I'm Evelyn herself, but Fang is there, too, now. He's peeking out, seeing my face and fighting for me. My heart is going so fast that I'm panting. Just as his grip on me gets so hard I think he'll cut off circulation in my arms, Fang let's out a harsh breath.

_Fang, come on. Come back. I've got you. Fight it. _

He shudders, then, and closes his eyes. His grip loosens slowly, so, so slowly, and then he leans his forehead against mine. That took a lot out of him, I can tell. My hand on his cheek remains, rubbing my thumb over the rise of his cheekbone, bringing him back. It's not impossible. Hell yes, it's hard and terrifying and exhausting, but it isn't impossible. And whatever sparked this newfound vigor in him to fight and fight and _fight _is quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"Hey," I murmur, smiling. The boys behind Fang are speechless, watching quietly.

He breathes laboriously against my cheek, not speaking and not moving. Then he lifts his head and presses a kiss between my eyebrows, holding me there for a long, long time.

**A/N: Sorry for the rambling in this chapter. I know it kind of dragged. Review? **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Does anyone still read this? Ha. Just kidding. **

**I swear this happens every time I write a story. I swear. **

**I hit a wall, and I start doubting my initial plan, which is a seriously dangerous thing to do - because it usually leads to horrible writer's-block. My issue is that I'm try to wrap everything up realistically and perfectly without making this story 100 chapters, but that seems **_**impossible**_**. **

**Here's the deal: I have the epilogue written. In order for us to get there, though, we have to wrap up Fang's process, and that takes us to almost the end of their senior year. So… I have to work some really great time skips in and still let the story flow. Which means this story will probably reach 35-40 chapters. Hopefully that's all. In fact, at 45 I am cutting myself off. I'm forcing myself to wrap it up by then, because otherwise these chapters will just get tedious. But no fear - I promise to do it as tastefully as possible. **

**YOU ALL HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, I HOPE YOU KNOW. This story was supposed to be about ten chapters. Jeez. **

**You may be wondering, **_**thestupidgenius1123, why did you work yourself into a corner like this?!**_

**Well, dang guys. I'm asking myself the same thing. The truth is that after so many people telling me they wished they'd had a peek into Fang's process and coping post-kidnapping, I was way too tempted to try it. I had so many ideas sitting around for it and was eager to slap it all together and get some feedback. I actually started writing it along with **_**Choices**_**, then realized I didn't want **_**Choices **_**to be as long as the Nile river. And, instead of making THP the 3****rd**** installment of the trilogy, I cut it out completely because it didn't fit with the point of the stories. It was extra, essentially. **

**My three main plot points of the trilogy were: **

**1\. The unimaginable connection between Max and Fang, and how it led to their success over Itex, **

**2\. The final destruction of Itex, which I felt was never really explained in the novels, **

**3\. The fact that Gunther-Hagen actually forced Dylan into a schizo-type of insanity by programming him to want Max, who already had a soul-mate. **

**Two years of Fang getting over his issues just would have thrown a wrench in the plot. But I don't regret writing this, because I think it is an important - and interesting - story development. **

**SO. Basically, there is a point to this rant. I just want you all to know why its taking me so gd long to write and publish. I don't want to throw everything up before I'm done because I don't want to regret publishing too early. I have a lot of strategic time-jumps to tie into this storyline, and I don't want to mess it up. Plus, trying to tie up your senior year, prepare for your freshman year of college, and write a kickass story is harder than you think. I'm trying. **

**Thank you so, so so much for staying with me and taking the time to encourage me to finish. Also, thanks for never yelling at me to get my shit together. I know you're also well aware that I work 25 hours a week, after school each day, and you guys are the most understanding audience EVER.**

**I have some great things planned, my friends. **

**Oh, jeez. I wanted to respond to everyone separately, but this A/N is already a page and a half. SO… I love you all and really appreciate the praise, comments, and beautiful reviews. **

**OH ONE MORE THING SORRY. Beginnings of Max's meltdown start now…and take up a few chapters. Then…Fax reunion begins. Yay. **

**NO BETA + BUSY LIFE = SOME MISTAKES. Sorry for any grammatical errors. **

**Read on!**

MAX

"Max! Where is the freakin' hairspray?" Nudge's voice resonates through the lower half of our house, frantic.

"Nudge! How would I freakin' know?" I call back mockingly, typing up some bullshit answers for my Geography homework. I have to submit this worksheet online by midnight tonight; something everyone in my class deemed child abuse. Especially because most of them plan on attending the dance tonight.

There's a moment of dragging silence. Then: "Max, this is so not the time!"

I sigh, making a face at Fang across the kitchen. I turn away from the laptop and shout, "Have you checked your room?"

"Yes!"

"How about the bathroom?"

I hear Nudge's footsteps run quickly down the hall and then she calls out, "Found it!"

"Dork," I mumble, turning back to the screen. Fang goes back to unloading the dishwasher while Iggy comes through the kitchen, holding both ends of his tie.

"Ella tells me to put on a tie and just expects me to know how to do that. I'm blind. I mean, honestly."

I laugh. "Well, don't ask me. I have no idea how to do that."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have even tried that," Iggy says, walking to the fridge. I frown after him before trying, once again, to focus on my homework.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Iggy asks. He turns toward me, eyebrow raised while he twists the cap off a bottle of water.

"Staying home, taking a nap, doing laundry," I say. "Great way to kick off winter break."

"And Fang?"

I narrow my eyes at Iggy, though he can't tell. Fang and I are already well aware that we're alone in the house tonight. Angel, Emma and Gazzy are at a Christmas part someone in Emma's class is throwing. Of course Emma is dragging Angel, because Angel is friends with the girl's little sister. Everyone else is at the dance.

Last thing we need is Iggy getting suspicious or worse - sending Aaron as a chaperone. Turns out Aaron and Emily are still on good terms, but Emily has to work tonight. Therefore, Aaron is skipping the dance as well.

I'm surprised he's not over here. He'll probably end up here sooner or later.

"Guess Max and I are skipping the dance together."

I grin at the computer screen. "Right," I say. "I mean, not _together_-together. We're together, but not _together_-together."

"Yeah," Fang says monotonously. "My bad."

I laugh. Typing a few more sentences on my Geography assignment, I decide it's good enough and submit it. Then I push off my stool and walk down the hall where the girls have taken over the first floor bathroom.

"How's it going?" I ask, leaning against the doorframe. "It's six thirty."

"Almost done, just finishing some curls…Ella's hair is perfect. It styles literally anyway you want it to - I wish mine did that."

I smile at her. She twists Ella's hair around a long curling iron and holds it, creating a bouncy, perfect curl that falls down Ella's back. Nudge's hair is bouncy, too, but different; she's put some kind of product in it to loosen and smooth her natural curls. Nudge is in an old dress of Ella's - it's light blue with a bust covered in gems and a layered tulle skirt. Ella's dress is a deep maroon and slightly form-fitting.

"And you're all coming home tonight," I say, looking at them through the mirror. "All of you, back here."

"Yes," Nudge says, rolling her eyes. "The dance is over at eleven."

"Okay."

"Oh!" Mom pokes her head in the bathroom, looking at the girls. "You two look great. Are you ready to take a few quick pictures? You need to get going."

"Yep! Just a few finishing touches - we'll be out in a bit."

Mom and I leave the bathroom.

"How did your Physics test go?" Mom asks.

"I think it was really good, actually. After Aaron drilled the formulas into my head over and over again. I feel good about it."

Mom nods. "Good. What about the sparring?"

I lean against the wall. "Really good. We've been practicing almost every day, and it's getting easier. He still has to really fight it, but at least he's winning."

Mom just smiles in that knowing-mother way she has. I raise my eyebrow at her, grinning back. "I know you talked to him. The day he came back from your house, he was changed. Way more confident. Ready."

Mom shrugs. "Men are easy. They just need a kick in the pants sometimes to get them going - the rest of it, they can handle. It's the motivation they need help with."

I laugh.

"You're very good motivation for him, Max. He won't stop trying until he's well enough to be with you again."

I look over at her out of the corner of my eye. She's right, of course.

"But I think that you both have to be ready, when the time comes. Okay? This isn't just about Fang healing. You both must have everything resolved before giving your relationship another try. You can't start off again with any secrets or unresolved issues… you know that, though. I think you two are doing really well, considering everything."

"Thanks."

"I mean it, honey," Mom says. "You've been doing the right thing, just stick with that instinct."

• • •

By seven, the house is vacant except for Fang and me. I start a load of laundry then join Fang in the living room on the couch. I pull a soft blanket around myself and steal the remote from his lap, switching the channel from sports to something less _death-by-boredom_. Fang barely glances up from his computer.

"Blog?"

"Haven't been on here in forever," Fang says quietly. "Everyone must think I'm dead."

Of course, everyone knows he isn't. As soon as we'd discovered him, he was front page news everywhere. Though many of people - including us - had thought Fang was dead, and so it had been even bigger news when we found him.

Thinking about those past two years leaves my belly twisted in knots. I push it out of my conscious mind, directing my attention to the TV.

We laze around for a few hours. Somehow, we migrate toward each other. We end up curled against each other, Fang's arm around me while he scrolls through emails on his blog and I doze watching the movie on the TV. I sigh softly and Fang presses a reflexive kiss on my hair, lingering a little longer than necessary. I blink and close my eyes, sleep tugging at me insistently.

Then there's a knock on the door.

We realize where we are. I sit up, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Fang looks at me and then stands up, clearing his throat. I scoot back to the opposite side of the couch, grouchy as hell. I already know it's Aaron - because who else ruins a moment like that?

Fang opens the door and Aaron comes in, grinning. I stare at him blearily and lean my head against the arm rest. He comes over and plops down in the middle of the couch, becoming a very annoying barrier between Fang and myself.

"What are we watching? Mind if I take this?" he says, plucking the remote from my hand. I glare at him. Fang mumbles under his breath something that sounds suspiciously like, "_You're the worst."_

"Wish you were at the dance?" I ask, throwing my legs over Aaron and tucking my cold toes under Fang's thigh. Aaron shrugs.

"Not really."

_I do_, I think, and Fang snorts. Aaron looks between the two of us suspiciously.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing," I mumble, getting comfortable. "I'm taking a nap."

"It's eight thirty," Aaron says incredulously, still flipping channels. He kicks off his shoes and settles back into the couch, obviously not moving any time soon.

"I'm tired, step off," I grumble. Aaron says _Whatever _and tucks the blanket around my calves before continuing his journey through the channels on the TV. I fall asleep to the sound of Fang typing steadily on his computer.

• • •

"_It's been months, sweetheart."_

_I know this. I'm well aware of the fact. She says that to me as if every single day hasn't felt like a knife in my gut. She says that to me as if I've forgotten. _

_I haven't._

"_I know," I say. "I don't know where else to look, Mom."_

_Mom is very careful with me, as she has been this entire time. I think she almost cried when she found me looking for a goodbye note this time. I know for a fact that she cried while I choked down tears at a CSM meeting and practically begged her colleagues to find my best friend. _

_Life goes on, which is the shittiest thing ever. He's out there, somewhere. And I know that not knowing can sometimes be a blessing, but it isn't for me. Not when I know first-hand the kind of diabolical shit that happens to freaks like us, and yet I don't know exactly what's happening to him. All I know is that I can't find him and I can't save him. My memories are taking over, my nightmares returning. Everything I can imagine is the worst case scenario, and it's all happening to him right this very second and _

_I am useless. _

_I think I would know in my heart if Fang was dead for real - but how do I know that's not what I'm feeling right now? _

"_It's time to move on, Max," Mom says gently. "It's time to cope."_

"_He's not dead, Mom."_

_Her eyes focus on me, melancholic. "Then where is he?"_

"_I don't-know where-to look!" I shout, gripping the edge of the counter. "I don't fucking know! Otherwise, I'd be there, _looking_!" _

"_I will not let your entire life turn into a search party," Mom says, staying calm. "You're failing out of high school, Max. You have three Fs."_

"_Like I really give a shit about high school?" I say miserably. _

"_The others never see you. They're here more than they're home, because you're always out of town and they can't be there without the supervision. Iggy can't raise the others on his own and you know it."_

"_Mom - you can't ask me to stop," I whisper. _

"_What if he's gone, Max? What if he's gone forever and…and you've thrown everything away?"_

_She isn't trying to stop me, I know that. I know. But she is scared, terrified. She sees Fang's death as the death of me, the death of the Flock as we know it, and she is terrified. _

"_I don't know, Mom." I drop my head between my shoulders and try to get my heartbeat down. I'm panicking. My palms are sweating. I'm already itching to get back out there and find him. "What if he isn't gone, and I give up on him?"_

_That's what terrifies me. Deserting him. Giving up on him while he waits for me to find him. I would never forgive myself, never be able to take that back. And if I had any hint at all that he was alive, any clue or message or anything, you can bet your ass I wouldn't eat, sleep or rest until I found him. _

"_Calm down," Mom says, noticing my anxiety. "Deep breaths." She steps around the corner, her bare feet silently smacking against the tile of the kitchen, and wraps her arms around me. I'm taller than her and so she presses her cheek to my shoulder and holds me tight. _

_I let out in a dry sob, "Mom…What do I do?" _

_The kitchen disappears. Mom evaporates, vanishes like a ghost from a crappy horror film. I stand alone in a dark, dingy room and realize with a lump in my throat where I am. _

_The dungeon. The cell-like room where Evelyn held Fang. I look around tentatively, knowing that the only thing that will come from this place is evil. _

_Everything is exactly as I remember it from the pictures the cops showed me. The walls are dark gray and crumbling cement blocks. There are no windows. A drain in the middle of the floor, a rusty faucet sticking out of one wall at about the height of my waist. Dirty plates, stains, a bloody shirt. And then shackles. _

_But someone is in those shackles. _

_I stumble backwards, away from the form, before I gain the courage to move closer. It's too dark to make out the person yet, though I think I have a very good idea of who it is. When you know someone that long, you recognize them - even their shadow. The shape of their shoulders, the hair on their head, the sharpness of their jaw._

"_Fang?" I whisper shakily._

_He doesn't move. I inch closer and closer, falling to my knees beside his form. He's still not facing me. I gently take his shoulder and roll him over only to see a frozen blank gaze staring up at me. I stifle a shriek and jump back. _

_He is dead. _

_Dead, dead, dead. _

"_Fang? Fang!" I move forward on my hands and knees, the panic overriding the fear in my heart. "Fang! Please!" _

_And then, Dead Fang's lips move. "You're too late, Max."_

_I stare at him in complete horror. _

"_I looked for you," I say hoarsely. It's an excuse if I've ever told one, but I say it. I plead it. _

"_You gave up," the blue lips accuse monotonously. "You left me to die alone. Are you happy now?"_

_His cold, stiff hand shoots up and grips my throat, and I scream and scream and scream._

"Whoa, it's okay, it's okay, it's just a dream, Max, it's okay…"

I shoot up from my position on the couch, gasping with a dry mouth and thumping heart. My fingers curl into the couch cushions on either side of me and I glance around fearfully. When my brain registers where I am, I calm down slightly. Aaron has his hand on my knee, his eyes worried.

"It's okay, Max, it was just a dream. You're okay."

My breath is coming out in little terrified whines, which is embarrassing so I gulp in some air and hold it for a second, trying to get myself under control. He's wrong, it wasn't just a dream. The first part was a memory; my mom and I had had that exact conversation months after Fang disappeared. The second half…

My stomach lurches. "Where's Fang?" I ask, swinging my legs off the couch. Aaron, who's still worried, touches my arm.

"What do you want? I'll get it."

I sigh heavily, closing my eyes and putting my hand to my sweaty forehead. "Juice. Please."

He nods and moves into the kitchen.

"Where is he?" I ask again, my voice quivering.

"He went flying. It's almost ten thirty; he wanted to stretch his wings, he said."

My heart is finally calming down, but with the dream fresh in my mind there isn't much I can do to stop myself from shaking. Aaron hands me the glass and watches me almost spill it on my lap. I grasp the glass in both hands and raise it for a drink. When I've washed some of the dryness from my tongue, I set the glass on the table with a clank and look at Aaron.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aaron says softly. I shake my head. I don't want to even think about it. Since we found Fang, I haven't thought about it. Now the guilt wracks my entire body. I feel sick.

"I'm fine," I lie. "I think…I think I just need a bath or something. To relax."

"Okay," Aaron says carefully. "Should I go?"

"No," I say quickly. He looks at me.

"Okay, I'll be here if you need me."

That helps more than he knows. I go up the stairs slowly and immediately find myself sinking into the bath. The dream has brought up many things I haven't thought about since we rescued Fang, and now it swims freshly in my mind. I'm so upset that my stomach feels empty and sick.

I sink into the water and close my eyes. Nudge says this bath soap should help relax the muscles, but it's doing nothing for my mind. It smells like lavender, and it's giving me a headache. I kick at the plug with my toes until it pops up and I hear the gurgle of the water draining. I start toweling off and look at myself in the mirror.

_It was just a dream, Max. _

Was it? I don't know. All I do know is -

My ring, on the necklace Fang gave me? It's gone.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: College is expensive. Don't ever fall in love with a college you can't afford; it'll fucking destroy you. **

**Lucky for you guys, I wrote my responses to your reviews days ago, when I was in a way better mood. I don't really have much to say except my head hurts and I kind of hate my life right now. **

**Everyone is yelling at me and then ending with "….but that was good update soon." You guys are great.**

**PolkadottedPandas: Thanks, love. You're the bomb! I seriously love reading your reviews. **

**Max-Without-Wings: I'm glad you liked it! I did take an awfully long time to get the next few chapters right, so I hope you think they're as good as the last one. Thank you!**

**Etched on Paper: I don't know how to take compliments laced with threats! Haha, just kidding. I got very used to those reviews during the trilogy. I'm sorry! I'm sorry I took so long - not so sorry about the cliffhanger. I'm glad you liked it, though! Read on, friend. **

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: "SPAWN OF THE DEVIL" is definitely a new one. Too bad I totally took your review as a wonderful compliment. I hope it **_**tortured **_**you. ;) Thanks ma'am. **

**Hagbre5498: You say you laughed until you cried, but I honestly did. I had a very stressful day three days ago, and it involved a lot of crying and "wtf please just kill me" texts to my sister. It was a little rough. Not only did I not anticipate such a huge audience for this story, I also didn't anticipate all the old ideas to resurface and hit me like a truck. I had to write this story, and I realized if I was going to write it I wasn't going to half-ass it. Which means…yeah, we're on chapter 24. Whatever. It's fucking fine. ;) Thanks for the review! **

**KLoves2Read: Right? Living with the Flock would be fun but also like a nightmare, if you really think about it. Maybe Ella's life would be fun, because she doesn't have to live there but she can visit. Or Aaron. But I think actually being in that house 24/7 would drive me nuts - and I'd never get anything accomplished. I already have one sister, and when she's home from college I lose all motivation to do anything productive. I feel like living with the flock would be that times 6. Thanks for the long and thought-out review! You're awesome. **

**Awesomealpha11: Don't call me Missy, Missy. **

**RomitrilsMyMaximumMortalFlaw: I'm glad I'm back too! Senior year got **_**reallyfuckinghardforasecondthere**_**. But I'm ready to wrap this story up, and ready to **_**hopefully **_**send out a new story soon? I'm thinking May. Thanks for the feedback!**

**DntlessAnnabeth: Didn't see that coming? Good! **

**Nola96: I know, right? It feels like it's been a year. That was one long, stressful week and a half, trust me. Thanks for still sticking with me and giving me amazing feedback that makes me smile. It helps tremendously when the stress is overwhelming me. I was worried about the dream, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! Sometimes I feel that my drama scenes are **_**too dramatic**_**. But, it was a dream so whatever. I love Aaron too, meddling cockblocker and all. Thanks!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, Max is…a bit iffy right now. Don't worry, he's coming back. Thank you so much for always reviewing! I hope you like it. **

**Aries4me: You're the best. Did you know that? Thanks for the awesome reaction in your review - I live for those reviews. Hope you like it!**

**Kateflowrchild13: Yeah, sometimes I think mine will splutter and die, too. And then, miraculously, they don't. It has a lot to do with you guys! Thanks so much for the feedback! **

**Loserslovereadin: THANKS. You're amazing. Read on.**

**Guest: I'm sorry! I'm going to try my damndest not to let that happen again. It was a rough time for me. Luckily, my spring break is in a week so I'll have plenty of free time. If they don't schedule me too much at work on my days off, then I should get this all finished up and updates will be regular after that. Thanks for sticking with me and thanks a million for each wonderful review!**

**FaxFiction: *peeks out from behind hands* …I'M SORRY. No, I promise to try really hard not to desert you guys anymore. But, holy shit. This story is 24 chapters long, in progress. I'm kind of mad. But kind of not. Thanks for the wonderful support, the PMs checking on me in my time of insanity, and the well-thought out reviews that I get the pleasure of reading immediately after each update. You're awesome, babe. **

**READ ON.**

MAX

I have never thrown on clothes so quickly in my life. Not even on the run, when we would take baths in rivers and then have to change before anyone saw the goodies. I throw my shirt on backwards and barely have my shorts up over my ass before I am tumbling down the stairs. In my frantic quest, I don't notice the movement in my peripheral vision. Fang steps out of nowhere and I collide with him, hard.

He balances both of us before we hit the ground. He grabs my shoulders and looks down at me, his black eyes wide.

"Hey, Aaron said-"

I shove him out of the way and yank Aaron off the couch. I run my fingers over the smooth surface, even though I don't see anything. Hoping that, magically, my fingers might find what my eyes don't. I pull the couch cushions out and throw them to the side, getting on my knees to peer into the guts of the couch. There's a bunch of lint and I think some Doritos crumbs, but no ring. No gold chain.

Oh, God.

"Max, what the…?" Aaron says, touching my shoulder. I stand up, push my dripping hair away from my face, and think.

_Where was I today? _

Besides school - God, please don't let it be somewhere at school - I was in the kitchen, the living room, my room, the bathroom…

The tub. I sprint back up the stairs and into the bathroom. I almost slip and crack my head open on the floor because the tile is slick, and I fall into the tub at full speed. It's still wet but I get on all fours and push the plug out of the way, squinting down into the dark drain.

"What are you doing?" Fang demands, still worried as shit. Aaron is in the hallway, peeking in behind Fang, and he notices the state of disarray the bathroom is in. My underwear, bra and towel are all strewn across the wet floor uncaringly.

"Get me a flashlight. Hall closet."

He just stares at me like I'm a rabid bunny or something, so I say snappily, "_Now_!"

Fang leaves and returns shortly with a flashlight. I turn it on and shine the beam of light down the drain, but I don't see anything gold. I feel my chest tightening.

"How could I lose it? Where is it?" I mumble, getting out of the tub. Aaron is officially freaked now, so Fang tells him quietly to go. I yank open the vanity drawer and shove my way through brushes and tubes of toothpaste and little perfumes Angel has begun hoarding. Nothing.

"What?" Fang says, grabbing my wrist. "What did you lose?"

_Besides your fucking mind. _

I ignore that, but only because there are bigger things to worry about. "I swear, I haven't taken it off since you've given it to me. I have no idea where it went…"

"_What_?"

I heave a breath, shaking. "My ring. My engagement ring."

Fang's face relaxes. "Max, calm down."

"It was on this morning, I know-"

"Max." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the simple gold chain with my ring hanging off it. "I took it."

A dry sob leaves my chest involuntarily, and I push his chest weakly. Relief drowns me, makes me suck in a breath shakily. "Why would you do that to me?" I plead, letting my head fall back against the wall. My head is pounding, my chest still tight. Fang took it. Fang. Oh, jeez.

"Sorry," Fang says, brushing my wet hair over my shoulder. "I wanted it to be a surprise, when I propose again. So I took it back."

I seriously feel like crying. I can't believe how worried I was that I had lost the ring. This whole night turned to shit ridiculously fast, and I need to go to bed. For real this time. Hopefully with drug assistance, so I don't dream this time.

Fang gives me a long look before stepping back a bit. "Is that all you were freaking out about? The ring?"

I block him mentally, terrified that he'll see what my dream was about. Terrified that he'll know the guilt that I carry in my heart. Terrified that I'll remind him. I nod slowly.

He sighs and reaches down, grabbing my towel and my underwear.

"Come on."

Inside my room, he tosses my underwear into the hamper by the closet and goes to our dresser, pulling me out a clean pair of panties and some soft cotton pajama pants.

"Your clothes are wet," Fang says softly, laying the clean clothes on the end of the bed. "That's what happens when you skip the _drying-off _step."

I laugh miserably, quietly, and pull off my shorts while he finds me a shirt. I have myself in the clean pants by the time he hands me a sweatshirt.

"Will you be okay?"

I nod again. My whole body aches. Not from anything physical, but from the emotional and mental stress. I want to curl up in his arms, let his heartbeat take over mine. I want to make him stay with me, lay with me until I fall asleep, but I can't.

"Are you…"

He watches me. I turn away, pull on the new shirt, and then crawl into bed. He still watches.

"Am I what?"

"Are you going to propose soon? That's why you took it back?"

Fang looks at me, open and thoughtful for a moment. "I…don't really have a specific date in mind."

I nod. "I was just wondering if I should start shaving my legs again."

Fang actually laughs, one of those under-the-breath laughs, accompanied by a slight shake of his head. I smile.

"Definitely."

"Okay," I murmur. "I'll start shaving…and you can stop." His eyes flash and I grin. I lay down completely, pulling the covers up to my chin. Fang bends down and kisses my cheek.

"Aaron said you woke up from a nightmare an hour ago," Fang says softly. "Are you okay alone?"

No. Absolutely not. I'd be much better if you were here.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Goodnight."

• • •

When I wake up, its because something lands heavily on my leg. I wince and shoot up, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

"Ow! What-"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I squint until my eyes adjust and I see my sister's apologetic expression. She crawls over me and falls into the empty spot on the mattress beside me, sighing with exertion once her limbs cease to move. "Sorry."

"Ella?"

"This is a really comfy bed," Ella whispers with a grin, kicking her way insistently under the covers. Her movements cause the frame to creak tiredly. "A little squeaky."

"What are you doing?" I ask, my voice thick with sleep. I glance over my shoulder and see that it's barely three in the morning.

"Nudge is really violent in her sleep, and her bed is not big enough for me to get safe distance away. It was this or the floor. Should I…?" she motions to the door, and I shake my head.

"No, you're fine El. It's all yours. I'm having trouble sleeping, anyways," I say, swinging my legs over the edge and standing up.

"Oh, are you sure?" Ella asks, sounding guilty. That didn't stop her from stealing the pillow that I'd been using and curling up tiredly.

"I'm sure," I say, pulling on sweatpants. I close the door on my drowsy sister and turn around into the silent, dark hallway. Something is different about a house in the dead of night. I can hear the Gasman's snoring from my spot outside my door and wonder when the three of them got home last night. I tap my toes quietly against the floorboards, hearing the heater kick on distantly. Then I hear something else. Clinking. The sink.

Curious, I make my way downstairs. I can see the light of the kitchen around the corner, casting a ray of unnatural light into the living room across the hardwood. I turn into the kitchen and see Fang and Iggy, sitting together in silence, two glasses of milk and a half-eaten package of Oreos between them.

"Hey, join the club," Iggy says. He turns and retrieves an empty glass from the dishwasher and says, "Want water or juice? I know you hate milk."

"Water. Thanks." I plop myself down in the stool beside Fang and reach for an Oreo. One look at Fang's face and I know that he's the reason they're up.

"Nightmare?" Fang asks, twisting his Oreo in half and popping the icing-less side into his mouth.

"Could ask you the same thing," I say, biting the entire cookie in half. Fang glares at me. He despises the way I eat Oreos. He says it's like biting into a KitKat without breaking it apart first. I don't see the big deal. "No, actually, Ella stole my bed."

"Well, you're welcome to take my bed or Fang's air mattress," Iggy says, dunking his Oreo in his milk. "We're probably not going back to sleep."

I glance between the two of them, finishing off my cookie. "What happened?"

Neither of them answer me. I want to dig nosily in Fang's head, but I don't think I have to in order to understand what happened. Fang had a really bad one tonight, and Ig probably had to wake him up.

Fang drains the last of his milk and looks up. "Who wants to go flying?"

"I'm in," Iggy says, standing up.

"Me too." I jump up and head towards the foyer, grabbing my jacket out of the hall closet on my way. While the boys get their shit together, I pull on some sneakers and step out onto the porch into the chilly darkness. I hop off the creaky wood of the porch onto the soft, wet grass and wiggle my wings out of my jacket. The cold air of the night sweeps through my feathers and I shiver. I don't want to think about the dream that I haven't been able to forget. I don't want to think about the past. I want to shut down my mind and just be one with the world for a second. Flying is probably the best way to do that.

Iggy steps up next to me, tilting his head up and breathing in the crisp wind.

"How long has it been since we did this?" Iggy says, his wings curling forward in a stretch.

"Long time," I say. "Does someone have their phone, just in case?"

Fang pats his coat pocket, confirming that he's got his.

"Okay, cool," I sigh. "Who's first?"

Fang and Iggy just stare at me.

I huff, pushing my hair back behind my ears. "You two would be lost without me."

Without further ado, I jump into the air.

**A/N: **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Well…Hi. It's mid-way through Spring Break. Sorry it's been so long. **

**I'm on my way to work, so here's my quick **_**I love you's**_**. **

**Guest: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like what you've seen so far. **

**Hagbre5498: Haha, sometimes I'm predictable, I guess. I'm trying to perfect everything, but it's taking a little longer than I'd hoped. If you've finished **_**Parks and Rec**_**, you should pick up **_**The Office**_**. Both are amazing. Thanks for the review!**

**loserslovereadin: Yeah, the big meltdown is more about Max's guilt that ties in with her dream, not the ring drama. She was just happy it hadn't washed down the drain. Thanks for the review! And no worries, you did not creep me out. Thank you so much!**

**Stormchase4533: Thank you so much! I love your feedback, it always makes me feel better, whether about my crappy day or my not-completely-up-to-par update. I hope this one is better, but really…the next chapter is better than both combined. Read on!**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: Thank you! I hope you love it!**

**DntlessAnnabeth: I know, right? Complete freak out mode? Haha, thanks for the review. **

**KLoves2Read: I'm glad you're curious about the dream! It kind of sparks what turns into Max's meltdown…pretty much the last untouched subject of the healing process. I'm very excited. Thanks for the reviews, by the way! And I agree wholeheartedly, I'd kick Fang's ass. **

**Flytothemax97: I'm sorry…I am sorry! But I'm trying to perfect everything, and then we'll be up and running again. Thank you!**

**Awesomealpha11: Thanks a lot! Hope you like this one, too. **

**FaxFiction: You make me so happy! I'm getting around to your story, I promise!**

**Nola96: Gah, I love your feedback. I'm so excited for you to see the next few chapters. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Thank you a billion times! Read on! **

MAX

"You know, I can't imagine you and Fang married."

"Why? Not much would be different," I say, scrolling through the messages on my phone. Somewhere in this conversation I had with Aaron a few days ago, he told me the video game Iggy wanted for Christmas. _Aaron and I talk about a lot of pointless, random shit_, I realize as I scroll through our text messages.

"I guess I can picture you guys married, I just can't picture you guys _getting married_. Like, the ceremony," Nudge says, eyeing a black headband that has a splatter of decorative pearls.

"Angel would like that a lot," I say absently, glancing at it.

"I have Angel's present already," Nudge informs me, putting the headband back. "I need Ella. But if I get her a headband, it has to be, like, a color that contrasts with her dark hair."

Okay, sure.

"Oh, found it!" I say, finally seeing the text message. _Total Desolation 5: Apocalypse. _Right. Because that sounds like a nourishing, thoughtful gift.

"I mean, really. Think about it," Nudge continues, now eyeing the jewelry. We're at a strip mall about forty minutes from home, finishing up our Christmas shopping. There's no snow out, despite the frigidness of the weather, and Christmas is in two days. "You two will be doing, like, everything you hate all in one day. Dressing up, entertaining guests, being the center of attention, showing PDA…"

"Hmm, you're right," I say. "Maybe we'll elope."

Nudge looks affronted. "Absolutely not! I get to plan a damn wedding, okay? Don't cheat me out of this!"

"Okay, okay," I say. "Back down, Nudge. We're not even engaged yet."

"Right," she says, rolling her eyes.

I narrow mine at her, spinning the earring display distractedly. "I'm serious."

She blinks. "Right. Sure. What'd you get Fang, anyways?"

I frown, slipping my phone into my pocket. The sad answer is _nothing_, but if I say it out loud Nudge will kindly slap the shit out of me.

I'm not proud, but I've avoided much private time with Fang like the plague. I can't be around him much right now, while my mind torments me with nightmares of deserting him and the guilt in my gut refuses to leave. I know Fang has never said anything to the effect of accusing me, but I still feel it, roiling in my stomach. I gave up on him. Something I had always promised to never, ever do. Not to Angel, not to my mom, not to anyone.

And yet I did it. To Fang.

That realization is enough to make me sick. In the past few months, this overwhelming sense of self-loathing has been masked by the horrors of Fang's kidnapping and the exhaustion of his healing process. Now, when he's almost ready to propose again, it hits me. We aren't fixed - not yet. Not until we face this monumental betrayal on my part.

Nudge has moved across the small clothing store by now, towards a huge bin of lacy nothings.

"Who are you buying lingerie for?" I ask, bumping her shoulder. "Iggy?"

"Ha," she snorts, eyeing a pair of polka-dotted boy shorts. "Me. Do you like these?"

I wrinkle my nose, which is answer enough for her. She tosses them back. "Why do you need cute underwear? No one sees it."

Nudge gives me a dry look. "So? It makes me feel good about myself. I like cute underwear. Is that a crime?"

I shrug, throwing my hands up in surrender. "No crime. I was just curious."

Nudge smiles. "Just saying. Even for girls like us, who naturally wear dirt better than make up, it's nice to feel good and pretty every once in while."

"You're right," I say finally, nodding. "I'm just too lazy to actually try that hard." My hand gravitates toward a scrap of black lace and Nudge watches me with a grin.

"What's hard about it? Takes the same amount of effort to put on normal, unattractive panties. Those are nice."

"They're practically invisible," I say, examining the unadulterated view of my hand through the intricate lace design.

"I think they're pretty," Nudge says, still digging through the pile. "I can think of at least one other person who might agree."

I blush bright crimson and hit her arm.

She laughs. "Just saying."

"I need to go to the bookstore after this," I say. "And then, on the way home, we gotta grab this game for Iggy."

"Sounds good. Maybe I'll find a good book for Ella. If not, I'll have to get her, like, a scarf or something. Then I think I have everyone. Oh, and Max?"

"Hmm?"

She looks pointedly at the panties I've yet to drop.

"You're getting those."

• • •

Nudge insists on dressing formally for Christmas Eve with Mom, in dresses and button ups and such. Iggy, always the rebel, comes out of his room in a sweater with _It's snow wonder I love my grandkids _written under a fat snowman with long eyelashes. The argument to make him change ensued, until Iggy ended up declaring he was going in his sweater or in nothing at all.

Sweater it is.

Dinner is uneventful, if not delicious. Mom makes a ham and a turkey, along with a million different sides, including the holiday favorites. Once we're all stuffed, we're in the middle of making the transition into the living room when there's a knock at the door.

"I got it," Mom calls. "Everyone get settled in the family room. It's time for presents."

The others rush past me, except Fang. He's already in the living room, in the armchair by the tree. I look at him meaningfully and he shrugs. Angel hops up and wiggles into the small spot next to him and he looks away from me to grin lightly down at her.

I follow Mom to the door, curious.

"Are we expecting anyone else?" I ask quietly.

She wrings her hands on the corner of her cardigan and says, "No."

Without delay, Mom swings the door open.

I should have guessed.

Dressed in a grey argyle sweater and jeans, Jeb stands under the porch light, holding a tray of cookies. "Hello. Merry Christmas."

Having not seen Jeb face-to-face since the fall of Itex, I can't stop staring. He's going gray at a seriously fast rate. He's shaved, because his face is clear and smooth, and his glasses are crooked as ever. His fingers are curled tight on the edge of his tray, his knuckles almost white. He probably expects the door to be slammed in his face.

"This is a surprise," Mom says, having nothing better in her repertoire of sassy lines. "A call would have been nice."

"Jeb…what are you doing here?" I try not to say it too horribly. It is Christmas, after all. But then again, it's _Christmas_, and he's showing his face for the first time in years. I want to say I believe that he just needed some familial interaction on the holiday, but…for the past two years, he hasn't.

I have a feeling he has an ultimatum.

"I was going to call," Jeb says. "But I figured a surprise visit would be as good as anything."

"Come in," Mom says, stepping aside. Jeb slips inside, nodding in thanks. I take the cookies from him - store bought, with red and green designs atop them in sparkly sprinkles. Jeb runs a hand through his hair and rolls his shoulders out of his jacket.

"Why are you here?" I ask, watching him ditch his black shoes by the door.

"I just…wanted to see how everyone was doing."

I glance at Mom, then back at Jeb. Mom smiles and says, "We're all in the family room."

"Uh, we'll catch up," I say, looking at Jeb pointedly. Mom disappears down the hall, and I cross my arms over my chest and turn my full attention to my father.

"Why are you here, really?" I ask him, studying his reaction. Jeb studies me right back, unafraid, and I will never not be annoyed by that.

"I wanted to see how everyone was doing," Jeb repeats, his eyes locked with mine. There was a genuine firmness in his eyes, like, _I'm going to continue caring about you whether you like it or not. _

"The scientist in you just doesn't die, does it?" I demand quietly, miffed that he can't let it rest, even on Christmas. I mean, come on.

"Why exactly do you think I'm here?" Jeb asks, the sting of the accusation clear on his face.

"To study us, after a traumatic incident. Hasn't that always been why you stuck around?" I say. Instead of stomping off with my head held high, I hold his gaze. I dare him to tell me that I'm wrong; that we haven't always been _experiments first, children second _in his eyes. That his curiosity about Fang's healing process didn't drag him out of hiding and onto our doorstep under the false pretense of holiday joy.

He says nothing.

"Come on," I say reluctantly. Without waiting, I spin around and make my way down the hall to join the others. I set the tray of cookies in the middle of the small coffee table and sit down on the end of the couch. Everyone looks up as Jeb comes through the doorway. A few of them smile and greet him, their usual 'tudes out the window because of today's mood. With a deep sigh, I ready myself to switch gears from betrayed mutant to joyous flock member.

"Did you guys ever believe in Santa?" Ella asks, a pile of gifts wrapped in red and gold paper before her. Our method to gift-exchanging was to let each person take their turn being Santa - basically giving the gifts they'd bought for all the others. We'd tried the free for all method, but we liked it better this way. It felt more personal to be handed the present directly, and to watch their reactions.

"No," I say. "We've always done Christmas this way…when we could do Christmas."

"Jeb, why didn't you pretend Santa was real when you broke them out?" Ella demands, sounding upset about the missing parts of our childhood. Honestly, the parentless-hunted-orphans part hurt me more than the lack of fat, jolly old men with presents.

Jeb sits back against the recliner he's in. "I considered it, but there were too many holes. Firstly, I'd be dangling yet another childhood experience in front of them, then pulling it away. After a year, Max and Fang would have most likely taken over. Besides - I don't think they would've fully understood the concept of spoiling the others and then pretending it was an obese intruder. It seemed unnecessary. The Christmas we all spent together was about enjoying family and showing love for one another."

No one says anything for a while. No matter what, Jeb had cared about us. Just taking us out of the School had been a big risk to his job and his life, and I've always known that. But… through his words, I can see that he's always been very attentive to us, always considered the consequences of his actions and how they would reflect on us. Sometimes, he made the wrong decisions. Sometimes, he would risk our safety and happiness for his "bigger picture." But he cared.

"An obese intruder," Gazzy muses. "That makes me glad that we never believed in Santa."

We jump right into the gift giving. By the time it's my turn to give out my gifts, I have acquired a new leather jacket from Nudge, a comedy movie from Ella, my favorite candy and some socks from Gazzy, a shirt from Angel (to wear with Nudge's jacket, she said), and a CD from Iggy with a mix of music on it. He says that Nudge helped him make it, but the title is _Funky Time _with a winky face so I'm afraid to ask. Emma had picked out a really pretty necklace with a silver bird on it. Holden bought me a book. My mom gave me an expensive looking journal, leather-bound and everything. I had told her I didn't need a diary, and she'd said, "Maybe someday; you never know."

I'm second to last to give my gifts; Fang is last. Everyone already looks elated enough, each of them harboring a pile of gifts. I smile, and start with Angel. Going oldest to youngest, I pass out my gifts. I hand Fang's present to him with both hands, grinning.

"It's heavy," Fang says, raising an eyebrow at me. Without much more anticipation, he rips the paper off the front and pauses for a second. Then he laughs - a real one. I sink back against the couch, satisfied with my gifts.

"What is it?" Nudge insists, crawling over to peek.

Fang rolls his eyes and holds up _PTSD for Dummies. _My mom is laughing the hardest, to be honest. But I hadn't known what to get my non-boyfriend Fang. So I had walked through the book store, wracking my brain for an idea, when I stumbled upon the _For Dummies_ collection. Finding the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder one was fate, and I had been reminded of my own comment from months ago: "_It's not like there's a manual telling us how to deal with this_." 

Fang grins at me, setting his book to his side. _Nice._

_It was PTSD or sex._

_Probably would've read the sex one. _

_Of course you would've. _

"I'll start with Max, then," Fang says, handing me a box wrapped in paper with pictures of Santa on it. I rip it open eagerly, lift the lid, and it takes my brain a second to register what I'm seeing.

_Grow The Perfect Boyfriend_, is what the package says. Inside is a small foam man. Apparently, if I submerge him in water, he grows.

One look at Fang and I'm laughing too hard to even tell the others what my gift is. Nudge grabs it out of my lap and reads the label out loud. "_He never argues_," Nudge laughs. "Where did you find this?"

Fang grins. I dig into his mind and find out that he and Aaron really explored the gag gift store at the mall, and cringed. The 'gag gift store' should really be an '18 and older' store. What else is in here? I dig through tissue paper and find a black mug with gold words that says, "Queen of Fucking Everything." I grin and think, _Accurate_.

I'm about to pass the mug to Nudge, who wants to see it, when I realize there's something in the cup. I lower it into the box and dump out the contents and choke a little. I shove my mug at Nudge and peer down at what appears to be dice, still in the small bag. Sex dice. That's what it says. One has the action word on it, the other…a body part. The dice are showing the sides that read "Suck" and "Face," but I'm willing to bet it gets a little less middle school on the other sides. I quickly cover the package with tissue paper and shoot Fang a glare. He looks pleased.

Nudge passes my gifts back and says she'll throw away the box for me.

"No!" I say, holding it with both hands, one keeping the lid down firmly. "I…I'm going to use it to carry all my stuff. Thanks, though."

Fang rolls his eyes and continues. Everyone else gets normal things from him; Gazzy got a comic book about one of his favorite superheroes, Nudge got an autobiography written by her favorite actress. Iggy got an audio cookbook. And so on.

Once we were all done handing out presents, it was about nine o'clock. We all got a little more comfortable and turned to a channel on TV that was showing classic Christmas movies. Mom went into the kitchen to make hot cocoa.

"What did you guys think of Christmas moves with Santa if you didn't know what Santa was?" Ella asks, eating some kettle corn from the bowl next to her on the carpet.

"We knew who he was. The year after Jeb left, Max and Fang went shopping near Christmastime and started seeing Santa _everywhere_. I remember Googling 'fat guy in red suit.'"

I smile at Nudge, and she leans against my shoulder. "Do you regret not getting to believe in Santa?" I hate that the kids missed out on a normal childhood, and this was just another example of that. A constant reminder of how we'll never escape the lives we once had.

"No," Nudge says. "I mean, I used to think it was something we'd be robbed of as children, but now that I really think of it… Can you imagine a house of paranoid kids anticipating a strange man breaking in in the middle of the night? We would've barricaded the doors, booby-trapped the chimney."

Iggy laughs. "When you put it that way…"

Everyone laughs and the noise dies down again. The sound of _Rudolph _in the background becomes the loudest noise in the house. Finally, Nudge inquires, "What have you been doing lately, Jeb?"

With all the attention turned to him, Jeb shifts in his seat. "Well…I've mostly been staying invisible, trying to go unnoticed. Since the School was shut down, I…" he trails off. Mom comes in, hands him a mug of cocoa, and he takes a sip. "I've just been on the sidelines, I guess. I'm always here if you guys need anything."

"Like, if we need you to keep us in a coma for weeks," I say under my breath, taking my mug from Mom. She's been kind enough to fill my _Queen of Fucking Everything _cup, topping it with three huge marshmallows.

"If I hadn't done that, you never would've found Fang in time," Jeb says firmly, silencing everyone.

"I would've found him," I say softly, even though I have no idea if I would've or not.

"You would have gone on for years, believing he was dead, before I stepped in."

I have nothing to say to that, mostly because this is bringing up all the uneasy feelings rolling inside my head and my heart. I sip from my cup, closing my eyes.

"In time?" Holden asks, looking at Jeb curiously. "How would you know that we wouldn't have gotten him in time?"

Jeb sighs. "Evelyn was sending… updates, to Harrison. Mockingly, of course. He wasn't even sure how they were reaching him - he did his best to truly fall off the grid. But…he asked me to find out what was happening and help you get Fang out. That's what I did."

I look at Fang. He's impassive as ever, of course, but in his head, his emotions are conflicting. Both anger, at his mother's name, and surprise, at the care from his father. The fact that Harrison is still thinking about Fang and worrying for his wellbeing is news to all of us.

"So you kept Max in a coma?" Gazzy asks. I realize that I never really explained that to the others. When I had woken up from the coma, it had been a chaotic mess trying to get ourselves together to go save Fang. Then, after, it was like we were trying not to talk about it at all.

"Well, yes," Jeb says, scratching his head. "She needed to re-strengthen the mind connection with Fang. Without her mind being in that state long enough, it would've taken them months to make the progress they made in a matter of days. I didn't know how long Fang had at that point, so I made a decision to keep her under."

"You have that much control over Max's brain?" Angel whispers, sounding intrigued. She has never had such an effect on us with her mind powers - thankfully.

"Had," Jeb says, glancing at me. "I try to stay out now, give her privacy."

Iggy snorts. "No kidding?"

I kick him.

"Wow," Nudge says, her voice soft. "I never knew you played a role in helping us find Fang."

"Right. While he sat around with all this information, he put me through a maze and made me figure it out myself when he could've just _called and told us_," I say, my voice shaking.

"Max-"

"I _know_! Any chance to test me is a grand opportunity, right?"

Jeb doesn't fire back. He doesn't argue, he doesn't apologize. He doesn't do anything. This is where we are, Jeb and me. I blame him for things I should take the blame for, because I'm too scared. Because I don't want to admit that maybe he's right; I had given up on Fang, and maybe if Jeb hadn't stepped in, I never would've figured out how to save him in time.

"I think I should be going," Jeb says. I look after him, miserable, while he says goodnight to everyone and makes his way toward the door. The others have easily moved on from the awkwardness and are happily slurping cocoa, entranced by the cartoon reindeer. I get up, move into the kitchen. I rinse out my mug and sigh, setting it on the counter while I dry my hands. As soon as the hair on the back of my neck prickles, I spin around to see Fang.

"Hey," I say.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, glancing at him before looking away out the window, watching the red lights of Jeb's car disappear down the road. "Yeah."

Fang touches my fingers with two of his, barely grazing me. I yank my hand away. "Stop, Fang. We aren't-"

"Right," Fang says, rolling his eyes. "What's bothering you?"

"Just…he pushes my buttons."

Fang nods. He holds out the tray of cookies Jeb brought, offering me one.

"I can't believe they call those pieces of cardboard cookies. It's disgraceful," I mumble.

Fang grins. "Not so bad. You like your present?"

I open my mouth to answer when there's another knock at the door. I raise an eyebrow at him before moving around him, down the hall.

"Who is it?" Ella calls.

I pull the door open to see a group of young adults, bundled up and holding sheet music. Fang is right behind me, and as soon as they start singing I turn to look at him.

"_I really can't stay…_" The lead girl starts, looking at her counterpart out of the corner of her eye. The song takes form, and the others, hearing the singing, filter into the hall to listen. Fang slips a finger through my belt loop and pulls me back against him.

_It's okay, _Fang thinks. _Whatever's bothering you. It's okay. _

Nudge starts singing along softly next to me, her face bright. I close my eyes, leaning against Fang and sighing. Maybe he's right. Maybe I just need to talk to him about it.

They have beautiful voices, the carolers, and they sing the entire _Baby It's Cold Outside_ with perfect harmonization. When they slowly end on the last, soft note, Fang hands the girl in front the tray of store-bought cookies from Jeb. The man to her right smiles.

"Merry Christmas!"

**A/N: Sorry it took me forever to get this up and sorry this chapter is straight shit. But thanks for reading! I'd love to hear from you all.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I'm sorry I didn't update as much as I'd planned over my spring break. I did write, however! I didn't neglect FF **_**completely**_**. Besides getting this chapter and the Fax reunion chapter done (I love that chapter, but we still have a ways to go), I wrote a lot for my in-progress future-fic, **_**Reunion**_**. Inspiration struck, you could say.**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: That was a very fun scene to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it! **

**Hagbre5498: Seriously, though! Amy Poehler is my favorite thing ever. And I'm glad you're excited for Max's meltdown! Me too! I have some great things planned for the rest of the story. (See bottom A/N). Thank you! "Like always" seems like an exaggeration, but I'll take it. **

**DntlessAnnabeth: Right? I figured it was pretty fitting. **

**Loserslovereadin: It was kind of a filler, but yes - the most important part of that chapter was to clear up some things with Jeb. How Jeb knew about the situation with Fang, how his help was instrumental to getting Fang out. It's pretty much the conversation that solidifies Max's guilt of leaving Fang behind and giving up. I'm glad you liked the chapter regardless, and glad you still saw the meaning I was trying to convey! It felt a little random throwing Jeb in, but he's no longer a big part of the story. He's just there, like he said, until they need him. Thank you so much!**

**Awesomealpha11: YAY SOMEONE NOTICED. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people have been catching those little slips, but not many mention it, so thanks. I want it to feel as connected to the other installments as possible. Anyways, I'm glad that you liked it. It makes my heart all warm to know you appreciate it. Read on!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, Jeb opened up some sores for Max. We'll see it all tie up soon, though…and then we'll see Max and Fang come together once again. Trust me, I worked my ass off on those few chapters. I hope you like them! Thank you!**

**FaxFiction: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Jeb is such a intricate character, with so many angles and possible roads to take, but… he's really not the bad guy here. Like I said above, Jeb's appearance was mostly to illustrate that without his help during Max's coma, Fang would've remained "dead" to them for a lot longer - maybe **_**too **_**long. This of course leads to Max's guilt-ridden meltdown, and eventually the Fax reunion… But yes. Jeb's life post-the School really is sad. He can't really do much with his life or hang out with friends, since he's basically hiding from the government. Max and Fang made the choice (in Risks) to protect him and Harrison from the law, but that meant basically going invisible to the world. Sad. As for the angst-fest, it's mostly option A: that he's giving her privacy. That's mentioned briefly in this chapter. Of course Fang chooses the wrong time to be a gentleman. I mean, he knows she's struggling with something, but they're so connected nowadays that they have to at least pretend to give each other some space, or they'd go nuts. Her emotional constipation ends soon, no fear! And yes ma'am, the sex dice are put to good use. That was very fun to write, trust me. Thank you so so much!**

**Kateflowrchild13: I'm glad you enjoyed it! They will deal with Max's guilt, soon. Also really giddy that you agree with my gift choices for Max and Fang. I thought for a long time on those. I mean, the sex dice idea was rolling around in my head for a while, but I'm glad I finally got to put it somewhere. **

**Nola96: Yay! Sometimes, nothing warms my heart more than being complimented on how I captured a character. I'm obsessed with writing Nudge right now. I have two stories in progress that feature her big time, and one focuses on her friendship with Fang and it is the **_**most fun **_**thing to write. Jeb, also, is fun for me to write because he can be good or evil or whatever you want. He was always that mystery character, and he's fun to develop. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much! **

**READ ON FRIENDS.**

MAX

"I am not helping you clean your room," I say, playing catch with myself as I lay on Aaron's bed.

"Why not?"

"Because you're filthy and it was your stupid idea to throw a party. Why are you even having a party?"

Aaron stops throwing random pieces of clothing off his floor into his closet - his version of cleaning is a lot like Iggy's - and glares at me.

"Because, my parents dragged me out to my Grandpa's for New Years. That was a huge opportunity to have the best party of the year, and I blew it. I need to redeem myself, and what better way to do that than on one of the most bogus holidays of the year? Besides, don't tell me you didn't have fun last time."

Thinking about the last time Aaron had a party has me grinning. "Hm. You're right."

Aaron scoffs, throwing a hoodie into his closet as he rolls his eyes.

"That's mine!" I laugh, hopping off his bed to retrieve the hoodie I'd worn as a coat today. "You are the worst at cleaning. Seriously. And aren't you afraid you're pushing the envelope a little? I mean, just because your first party didn't get busted-"

"I'm not stupid. My mom is on a girls' weekend with my aunt and she dragged my sister along. Dad's out of town for the week on business."

"And the booze?" I press, my eyebrow arched.

Aaron grins. "You let me worry about the booze. This'll be the greatest Valentine's party in history."

I grin, flopping back on his mattress. "Where's Emily? Isn't she helping out with the festivities?"

When he doesn't answer, I sit up, tucking my legs in criss-cross style. "Aaron…_shit_. What happened this time?"

He actually looks relieved that I asked. He sits down next to me, ignoring the task of cleaning his room. "Sometimes when we're together, it's great. I feel like she's one of the only people I can get along with that easily - and that I can be myself, you know? But…then we fight about the stupidest shit."

"Fang and I fight," I say. "About a lot of stupid shit. Sometimes you have to fight like enemies. Sometimes you do it just because you're so close, you know exactly how to piss them off."

"That's not how it is, though. Half the time, I don't really realize what we're saying to each other, or how much it hurts. And afterwards…it's not forgive and forget. It's not, _Oh, I know you didn't mean it_. Every single fight just…hacks away at our relationship."

"Aaron, do you even like her?"

"Yeah," Aaron says. "I like her enough to not want to give up on us yet."

"Okay, but…do you like her more than anyone you've ever dated? Do you want her, all the time?"

Aaron pinches his eyes shut in frustration. I hurry to say, "It's okay, if you don't. This is high school, remember? Just…let it play out."

Aaron gives me a look, like, aren't _you _wise and all-knowing. I sit back against his headboard, rolling my eyes.

"I may not have a lot of experience with dating, but I know how it feels when you've found the right person. You'll know, Aaron. You won't need anyone else to tell you."

Aaron doesn't say anything for a second. Then he stands and nods, resuming his cleaning. "Thanks. Max? I…" he trails off, turning his head to look at me. "I'm really fucking sorry. About everything."

I feel uncomfortable all the sudden, like I'm under a spotlight. I nod and look away from him, hoping he can take the hint and drop it there.

"I've never had to deal with one of my friends being kidnapped and tortured before. I felt like we were all too close to the situation to fix it. But…we've done a pretty damn good job."

"It's all Fang," I say, almost contemplatively. "Nothing big was really changing until he got it in his head that this was his to fix. But you're right. I'm really proud of him."

Neither of us say anything else for a while. Aaron focuses on tidying his room and I lounge on his bed, tossing the signed baseball he keeps on his dresser up and catching it. The silence prompts me to think of my own relationship dilemma. I had told myself back at Christmas that I would sit Fang down and talk to him, but it has yet to happen. We're extremely busy, like, all the time, and I always find a reason to chicken out. It doesn't help that, as soon as I build up the courage to bring up my issue, Fang will have a traumatizing nightmare or lapse into a bad mood and I'll have to deal with his issue first.

It's not like I'm complaining. It's just…my guilt is eating me alive here. Meanwhile, Fang seems to be finally minding his own business in the mental department. I almost wish he would read my mind and figure out my problem; it'd save me the trouble of breaking the ice on a very dangerous subject.

Anyway - every day, I find a reason to postpone. Today's reason?

I'm not going to suffer a hard discussion like this with my non-boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I just won't.

Downstairs, I hear the front door open and shut. Ella calls, "We're here! Ready to transform your house into the love shack!"

• • •

Vodka sucks.

At _first_.

I'm pondering the almost-gross but addictive taste of vodka when a guy from my Geography class comes up and leans in, grinning attractively. "Hey, Max, how's it-"

"Man, this is Fang's girl," Aaron says nonchalantly, pointing across the room to a crowd of scantily dressed girls. "Go hit on one of them."

The guy shrugs and moves on, which kind of hurts my ego but not much because I'm me and I'm buzzed. I look at Aaron, grinning. "I hope someone is fending off sluts for Fang."

Aaron just smirks. "You're drunk."

"Nu-huh," I say, taking another sip from the water bottle in my hand. My first water bottle had been actual water, but Aaron had taken that from me and returned with this. Vodka. He'd told me to drink slowly and I had - for the past two hours.

I feel something on the small of my back and jump slightly, my head warm and my mind dulled by the booze. "Hey, you," I murmur softly, looking at the familiar face of my non-boyfriend. "I want to talk to you later. Very important."

"Okay," Fang says.

"Later, though," I clarify. "Very important."

Fang takes the bottle out of my hand, suspicious, and sniffs. "Wow. Not water."

I grin cheekily, biting my bottom lip as my cheeks flush. "I know. It's good."

Fang tastes it, swallowing, letting his eyes widen. "That's straight. Aaron?"

"It only had 'bout that much in it," he says, holding up his finger and his thumb with about three inches between. "Iggy's been constantly bringing her food, too, so she's not drinking on an empty stomach. She's going slow."

Fang nods, reassured. Speaking of Iggy, he comes up next to Fang, joining our little circle. Holden comes right after - finally having given in to us and joined us for a party. He's holding a can of soda, though, and doesn't plan on getting drunk tonight. Bummer. One step at a time, I guess.

Iggy shoves a chip loaded with salsa into his mouth and hands me an identical one. I munch it happily.

"Whatcha got there?" I ask, nodding to Iggy's shoulder. He grins, reaching behind his back and bringing forth a foam arrow with a red heart on the end.

I snort. "Jeez, really?"

"I'm cupid. Watch," Iggy says, raising the arrow and small bow into the air. He shoots it, and it ends up hitting a girl in the back of the head. She turns around from her conversation and looks down to see the arrow by her feet. She picks it up, spots us, then grins. Turning to the guy to her right, she smacks a wet one right on him, for the whole world to see.

"Valentine's party," I say, tsking. "Bad idea. One drink too many and it becomes an orgy."

Iggy coughs back a laugh, grinning. "_She's wasted_," he drags out giddily.

"She is not," Aaron says, rolling his eyes.

"Give her some time," Holden says, glancing around the room for familiar faces. "I see Syd. I'll catch you guys later." He runs off towards a blonde in the corner.

"Ig, come here." I turn him around and bring his arms up, fitting an arrow in his hand. I turn him just right, then say, "Shoot."

He rolls his eyes and shoots, sending the arrow two feet away into Ella's back. As soon as it hits her, she squeaks in surprise and turns around, laughing when she sees us. She picks up the arrow and marches over, grabbing Iggy's shirt by the front and yanking him down, smashing her mouth to his.

I grin at them, elbowing Fang hard under the ribs. He elbows me back and we keep it up until he jabs me and I hiss, punching him the next time.

_Ow, that was my boob, you jerk. _

Fang rolls his eyes at me and my childish complaint, taking another drink from _my _water bottle. I frown, yank it out of his hands, and say, "I have to pee."

He asks if I need help and I try to be pissed, but I'm not and he knows. I laugh and shove past him, calling back, "Maybe!"

I push my way through the crowd toward the small hall bathroom and shut myself inside, quickly locking the door and doing my business. Once I flush and start washing my hands, I hear a soft knock on the door, just two quick taps. I grin and think, _I was kidding, Fang, I can manage on my own you know. _

Before he can respond, I open the door and come face to face with that damn kid, Patrick. I blink in surprise, having expected Fang. I'm still reeling in that initial shock when he grabs my arm, leaning down to sneer in my face. This guy, who's been bragging about having me and sleeping with me. It terrifies me. He's a little uneasy on his feet, probably a couple drinks into the night already. He doesn't get a single disgusting word out before I shove his chest in sheer fright of what he intends to do. He stumbles back into a group of girls, causing _quite _a ruckus. Whether it's the alcohol or the confrontation, my heart is thumping hard.

"You bitch," Patrick says. He's not drunk enough to be slurring; really, I don't know how drunk he is. I don't have enough experience to gauge his behavior.

"Hey, man," a deep voice says, a familiar calloused hand falling on Patrick's shoulder as he advances on me once more. Patrick spins his head around to see who touched him, but Fang's other fist is ready. With maybe half the effort he uses with me, Fang slams his fist down and hits Patrick hard in the cheek.

Then they're rolling. This is enough to wake up some of my brain, fear grasping my heart immediately as Patrick hits Fang in the stomach with a firm closed fist.

"Ig!" I shout, moving to jump in myself. I don't really want to get punched, and I know if I take a stomach hit I'll probably barf, but the fear of Fang losing his shit while fighting someone who's _not me _takes over every part of my brain, causing me to act. Iggy and Aaron are too far away, so I have to do something.

Fighting me is different. When Fang starts to retreat into his memories due to a trigger move or word or déjà vu moment, I'm there to touch him, talk to him, keep him anchored in the real world.

Fighting with Patrick? I'm afraid Fang might lose it. I'm a step away from getting down in the fight when a girl I slightly recognize pulls me back and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

"Stop Max, you're drunk," she says, not unkindly. The concern in her voice is genuine. "Let Fang."

I bristle at that. _Yes_, Fang is sober, but he's also mentally unstable-

Patrick howls as Fang hits him again, and returns with an uppercut to Fang's jaw. I see it flash in Fang's eyes - the familiar darkening of his irises that happens when the memories take over. Fang tenses, and panic takes over Patrick's face - _he sees it too_.

Then, something amazing happens.

Fang grits his teeth, blinks hard once, and then regains his strength, pulling Patrick up and slamming him against the wall. This is Fang - a furious, rancorous Fang, but him nonetheless. I'm breathless. _He did it on his own_.

"Fuck with her ever again, or _any _of them," Fang says lowly, but loud enough that I hear, "and you won't live to regret it." Them… as in the flock? Anyone? Who knows. Either way, the message gets through, because Patrick looks at Fang fearfully and nods jerkily.

Fang lets go of the front of Patrick's shirt and the kid sinks to the floor, groaning. I glance from Fang's face over his shoulder to Aaron and Iggy, who finally found their way through the crowd. Aaron says something to Iggy out of the corner of his mouth and Iggy's eyebrows both raise. I slip out of the girl's grip and move to Fang, putting my hand on him arm and checking him over. I don't say anything, and neither does he. His lip is a little swollen and his jaw might bruise, but otherwise he looks good as new.

"Alright, someone get Pat here some ice," Aaron says authoritatively. "And a ride, because he sure as fuck ain't staying here."

Fang squeezes my hand then slips through the crowd, disappearing into the kitchen. I watch him until I can't anymore and then twist my water bottle in both hands anxiously, hearing the plastic crack. I walk over to Iggy and say simply, "He did it."

"Aaron said."

"On his own. Barely took him a second. _He did it_."

Iggy nods, then raises an eyebrow. "That sobered you up, didn't it?"

He sounds quite despondent about it. I laugh. Iggy takes my bottle, gauges how much is in it. He takes a swig then passes it back and says, "Finish it."

I smack my lips together, then drain it, letting the fire leave a trail all the way down my throat and take root deep in my belly.

I move away down the hall toward the kitchen in search of Fang. He's there, leaning against the counter, drinking from a brown beer bottle. I touch his shoulder and he looks at me out of the corner of my eye.

"You okay?"

"Are you alright?"

We laugh at each other. Well, I laugh, Fang grins.

"Yes, I'm fine," I say, looking down at my hands while I unscrew and rescrew the cap on my empty bottle. Fang takes my chin and tilts my head up.

"You wanted to talk to me, earlier?"

I look at him. "I did?"

Fang rolls his eyes, the silent never mind clear as day in my mind. He bumps his beer against my empty bottle in a cheers and says, "I'm going flying for a bit." He takes one last swig from his bottle then fit's the half-full drink into my hand. He takes my empty plastic one and throws it in the trash. "Take care of yourself until I'm back."

"Duh," I say, looking down at my new drink. "I can keep myself out of trouble. Can you?"

• • •

A while later, I'm on the couch next to Ella, Iggy, and that girl who'd pulled me back from the fight, I remember her now as Sage, a girl I've shared about five classes with over the past three years. She's one of those friends you consider your friend _at school _\- but not much in your free time.

I see a familiar dark figure ducking into the living room and joining Aaron and some friends at the other side of the room. I'm glad he made it back. He got his alone time to ponder what he'd just accomplished and what it meant for his process…now he was back, with a new drink in his hand. He grins and rolls his eyes at something Aaron says (which sets off the other guys into a round of tear-inducing laughter) and catches my eye across the room. I smirk at him, lifting an eyebrow, and his eyes say everything and then some.

"You two," Sage says quietly. "I barely know your boyfriend there, Max, but I know one thing." She pauses, takes a drink from her cup. "You guys are the only two people I know who can practically fuck each other from across a crowded room, with just one look."

I gape at her blatant statement, feeling very naked and on display, suddenly. She shrugs. "Not like it's a bad thing. I wish someone would look at _me _like that."

Embarrassed, I look away from her and tentatively meet Fang's eyes again. He's still giving me that look, and I can't really say she's is wrong. It is intense.

A girl comes over and gets Sage, and the two of them run off. I look over at Iggy and Ella, but they're caught up in their own little world, sharing a plate of small snacks and talking together. I glance up at Fang again, under my lashes, and tilt my head to the couple, alone in their little bubble.

Fang raises an eyebrow.

I raise one hand and curl it into a fist, pretending I'm holding a bow. Then I crook an invisible arrow, aim it with one eye squinted shut, and let it fly.

He acts along. He grabs his shoulder as if I struck him.

I grin and crook my finger at him. _Come here and kiss me. _

_I want to,_ he thinks, his eyes showing just how much.

I lean my head back against the couch cushion and close my eyes, still grinning to myself. _I know. _

**A/N: Fang took a big step here! Too bad Max still sucks at talking about **_**her **_**problems. **

**I have some quick questions. **

**Is there anything you guys think I've left out/neglected? **

**Are you excited for Max's meltdown?**

**Are you excited for the Fax reunion? **

**Are you okay with the time skips I'm slipping in there? It's February in the story now, meaning they have three months until the summer before their senior year. **

**In case anyone wants to know what the rest of this story has in store, I have compiled a list with no particular order: **

**1\. Shopping with Fang**

**2\. Sex dice**

**3\. Teleporting accidents **

**4\. Awkward time with Gazzy**

**5\. Sharing a dream**

**Review? **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: SORRY FOR TYPOS. **

**Three hours ago, this chapter was not ready. I was ready to just give up and go to bed. There are two things to thank for this chapter, and neither are me or my brain. Basically, thank my insomnia and the latest episode of Outlander. They made me do it. If I hadn't already gone through the hair-pulling trouble of changing my username, I'd change it again to **_**the worst**_**…because I am. **

**Excuses mean nothing. But I am sorry! **

**Stormchase4533: Thanks for answering all my questions! I love hearing your thoughts on my progress and the story thus far. Fang bought the sex dice, and yes everyone is really excited since I mentioned them. Shopping with Fang won't be too awkward, more like just fun. And Gazzy…everything I write with preteen Gazzy is awkward. It just has to be. You're so welcome! Thank you so much for always reading and reviewing, and becoming such a great friend on FF. I'm glad my story can cause you so many diverse emotions! Read on. **

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: *smiles evilly* THANKS, I try.**

**Lustrex: Okay this is awkward. I feel horrible…I've kind of…been reading **_**Catalyst**_**… and not reviewing because - see above - **_**I'm the worst**_**! And I haven't let myself read any farther than chapter ten, because I wanted to stop and force myself to sit down and write coherent reviews before I moved on. I'm going to make myself do that as soon as I get any time of down-time, because I need to catch up! I was so shocked to see you reviewing for my story. I was like, "You're story is a million times better than this shit, why are you here?" Either way: I'm psyched and you're the bomb. Thank you so much for the thoughtful insight on my trilogy thus far, as well. Trust me on this: The sex dice scene is written 100%, and it's both sexy **_**and **_**hilarious. As for Holden…he's really **_**not **_**a main character. It's hard fitting him in, especially because he isn't really as close with the others and he kind of does his own thing. I mean, even in **_**Consequences **_**that's the deal…so I guess that's just always how I wrote him. And, as for the proposal…it happens - sort of. I mean, Fang did have his kind-of proposal mid-**_**Risks**_**, and then his official proposal in the Epilogue of **_**Risks**_**. As for this time around…you'll see. Again, thanks for the feedback and I'm still kind of in shock that you're reading my stuff! Ha. **

**FaxFiction: I love when you review twice, following up with your epiphany review. Drunk Max was fun to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. I mean, I never can imagine her being an over the top drunk; I just pictured her more laid back, a little funnier, a little less Momish. And trust me, if the string of oneshots ideas sounds wonderful. Yes, I realized that I could not introduce the jerk Patrick without giving Fang some redemption later in the story…I'm glad it was up to par for everyone. I'm also super, super glad that you don't feel I've missed anything with the story (besides the proposal, see above in Lustrex's response to get my lo-down on that) because, duh, I wrote this mostly because you told me to. I mean, I had a lot of it written and jotted down randomly, but I forced myself to edit and publish and beautify because I got so many requests for it, including yours. I guess I'm just glad I didn't let y'all down, if that doesn't sound stupid. I know they say you should write for yourself, and I do, but let's be honest - outside encouragement helps tremendously. Yes, many of the list items involve a certain level of intimacy…so, be excited for that. I've been busting my ass on these next few chapters. Thank you so much! (For everything and more). **

**Flytothemax97: This chapter, we see a little bit of that! This is Max's meltdown chapter, the one we've all been waiting for, so I hope you enjoy. **

**Awesomealpha11: Thank you! Yeah. Gazzy doesn't get enough time in the spotlight. I love him. **

**Loserslovereadin: Aw, thank you. It's always good to hear that, especially after I spend so much time on a chapter. Did you really think I'd bring in the prospect of sex dice and not deliver? Thank you for the review!**

**DntlessAnnabeth: I'm kind of glad that you're so excited to read it all up! Thank you!**

**Hagbre5498: I told you guys, I was having a lot of fun slipping in references to **_**Consequences**_**! I want it to feel cohesive as possible, so I'm glad you noticed it. I hope you feel better, and thanks for the feedback. **

**KLoves2Read: Yes, I know we were all waiting for Patrick to meet Fang's wrath. That was quite fun to write. I have some lemony Fax ready, in the next couple chapters. The horrible wait is almost over! And yes, Aaron finally spit out the apology. Took him awhile, but he got there. Thank you so much for the feedback! I hope you like what I do with Max's meltdown.**

**Anon: Thank you!**

**Nola96: Really? Shower smut was the favorite before this? That's so interesting to me! I don't know why, I just…wow. Thanks! Fang has come pretty far. Glad you liked Drunk Max. We see some more of her here (: I love having outside perspectives on the couple, too. Mainly because they're adorable and I love when other people notice. I also am glad you noticed the importance of their friendship in this chapter. I love that aspect of their relationship. Hope this chapter isn't a let down!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: I know, right? Way to go, Fang! And LOL is right! They'll get back together soon, promise. Thank you!**

**Guest: I enjoyed that part too, actually. Those little clips are really fun to write. Max's meltdown reaches it's peak in this chapter! Thanks for the feedback!**

**I'm a little worried that you all won't exactly like Max's meltdown, for whatever reason. I can't imagine it going too over the top, and I thought it was decent... tell me what you think, okay?**

**READ. **

MAX

"I love drunk Max."

"I love you, too, Ig," I say, resting my head on his shoulder on the ride home. Holden is up front with Fang, and I'm between Ella and Iggy in the backseat. It's almost three in the morning.

"She's not at all like I expected her to be, for some reason. I'd always imagined she'd be reckless and a little obnoxious," Ella laughs. Who, me? I harrumphed into Iggy's shoulder.

"She's a tired, no-filter drunk," Holden says. "Laid back."

"Exactly how she was on Valium," Fang comments. I smile, remembering that time. Back when my biggest worries were Itex, Erasers, and Fang's crush on me. _God_.

It feels as if that was a completely different universe, a different life. To imagine Fang and me so uncomfortable together, so unsure…it feels unreal. I remember how I used to feel as if I didn't know him at all, as if he'd turned into a stranger before my very eyes.

Now, I don't even think I know myself as well as I know him.

"Fang, do you like having to drive everywhere?" Ella asks.

Fang shrugs. "Max is terrified of driving. Someone else has to do it."

I roll my head off Iggy and onto the seat behind me. Another memory floating in my mind at the moment revolves around this car, this very backseat, and a ghost of a grin flashes across my face as I think about it.

"It's not just for driving, oh, _no_. This car's for…riding." I snort at my own words, the laugh bubbling out of me uncontrollably. I try desperately to control my amusement, but it refuses to be hidden. "Get it?"

"I get it," Fang says lowly, casting me a look through the rearview mirror. His eyes are dark; that's a look I've gotten before, many times. I curl my fingers against the fabric of the seat beneath me, still grinning.

Ella gives me an aghast look and I try really hard to look innocent, stretching my long legs up and over the console between the two front seats. I tap Fang's wrist with my ankle and laugh again. "Had to be there."

"Glad I wasn't," Iggy mutters.

I wiggle my toes against Fang's arm, suddenly completely involved in my quest to capture the hair on his arm between my toes. I curl them and pull and Fang yanks his arm away, smacking the culprit foot.

"Quit."

I peek at him, and he's smirking just slightly - not with his lips, but with his eyes.

Fang turns into the long, gravel driveway and I sit up in my seat, a little more awake. I reach down and search for my shoes, slipping them on my feet as Fang parks in front of the house.

"You staying?" Fang asks shortly, looking at Ella as we pile out of the car.

She smiles, looping her arm in mine. "Yup, bunking with sis, here. Don't worry; I'll be sure she makes it to the bathroom if she feels nauseous."

"I feel good," I say, giving a reassuring thumbs up to no one in particular. None of them seem to be taking that really seriously, so I reiterate it honestly, my eyebrows furrowed. "Real good, really."

Ella and I make our way upstairs as quietly as possible. Fang ducks his head in the others' rooms, making sure that everyone is asleep and accounted for. As soon as we're in my room, Ella closes the door, turns on the lamp by the bed, and moves toward the dresser. I start pulling back the covers, suddenly exhausted at the sight of my bed.

"Here, put these on," Ella says, throwing me shorts. She starts slipping out of her own pants into another pair of my shorts.

I barely get myself into the new bottoms before I'm passed out on my side of the bed. I distantly hear Ella sigh and feel her cover me with the blanket before I'm dead to the world.

• • •

I shoot up in bed, a cry frozen in my throat. I let out a pained sob, curling my fists in the sheets and looking over to my left at the sound of someone else waking up. Ella is beside me, her eyes wide in surprise at my sudden movement.

She sits up beside me, urgent with left-over sleep. "What? Are you going to throw up?"

I curl my legs up to my chest, a dry sob threatening to wrack through my body. "That was real. That was real, oh my, God..."

Ella keeps an eye on me as she crawls clumsily out of bed. "Max?" She stumbles to the door, flips on the light switch and blinks in the brightness at me. Her face is twisted with worry. "Max, are you okay?"

No, I am most definitely not. I feel disoriented and sick, and I refuse to open my eyes in fear of seeing Evelyn, her Cheshire-like sneer causing my heart to stop from pure fright.

Ella, who doesn't know how to handle this, throws open the door. "Fang?"

Besides my breathing and the pounding of my heart, her voice is the only sound. It's the dead of night - actually, near morning. I crack open an eye, glancing nervously to the clock. It's nearly four thirty - we haven't been asleep for more than an hour and a half.

I hear the sound of Iggy's door carefully creaking open, then the purposeful footsteps. I relax at the feeling of Fang's hand on my waist, but I keep my eyes clenched shut and my body curled. He sits in the small open space in front of me with his legs hanging off the bed, allowing my body to curl around him.

"Fang…"

"Are you gonna be sick?" Fang thinks, his arms coming around me as if he's ready to run me to the bathroom. I shake my head, tears welling in my eyes hotly.

"Max, open your eyes," Fang says softly. "It's me."

I do as he says, tentatively. Shapes take form in my vision and I'm frozen in panic until my brain synapses fire and I recognize dresser, chair, door. I'm not in New York. I'm not in the dungeon. I'm in bed, my bed. I'm safe.

"Did you have a nightmare? Max," he whispers, tentatively pushing back my hair. Without waiting for the answer, he reassures, "It wasn't real."

My eyes squeeze shut, hard, and I press my face into my pillow. Fang sweeps my up into his arms, into a haphazard upright position, my face in his chest. My throat hurts, burns with the effort of keeping my tears back. Fang gently strokes my hair back, his hand warm and firm.

"I'm sorry," I breathe again.

Fang doesn't answer. I peek up at him, looking for any type of clue on his face, but he is looking at Ella across the room. "Go, El. There's an air bed in Ig's room."

As the door closes to my room, Fang sighs and relaxes his arms slightly. He asks gently against the sweaty skin of my forehead, "Do you want to tell me?"

"No," I say immediately. "But I think I'll never get another wink of sleep if I don't. Fang…"

I haven't cried yet, but the effort of holding back is taking a toll on my head and my throat. I swallow thickly and Fang looks at me calculatingly before making me lie down again.

"It's okay," Fang says softly. "I think you're still-"

"I'm not drunk," I say. "I dreamt about it. About her. But she'd taken me instead."

The words hang between us, harsh and dangerous. And yet I can't take them back and I can't change them. They are forever there, right there, between us. I have to keep going. Fang's jaw becomes slightly more defined, and I see his Adam's apple bob slowly.

"It wasn't real."

"It doesn't matter," I say. "I was there, forever, going through the things you did…and I kept seeing visions of you…of you without me. Moving on, forgetting me. Living life like normal."

"Max-"

"I have to say this, Fang! I have to!"

He takes a breath, and says nothing. I go on.

"I gave up looking for you," I confess, my heart breaking as the words come to life. "I gave up, something I had promised never to do, but only because it was driving me crazy. I had to stop looking, if only to try to move on, but trust me… A part of me was missing every single second that you were. A big part. A part I thought I couldn't even live without for a long time."

I grab his hand and hold it between mine, against my chest. I close my eyes and take in a breath, feeling the tears roll down the sides of my face. One pesky teardrop finds its way into my ear and settles there.

"I failed you. I gave up on you to save myself and the others. I had to. I hate myself for it, but I had to. I'm so sorry. I should've looked and looked, I should've found you or died looking-"

Fang bends down to press his forehead to mine. My body jumps with a hiccup and I struggle to keep the tears in, struggle to contain anything left of my composure.

"Stop it, Max."

"You have to forgive me, Fang. I'm so sorry."

Fang presses his forehead even harder against mine, letting out a breath against my lips. _I already have._

"I haven't," I say brokenly. "I haven't. I can't."

"You can. You will. I would've wanted you to…"

"You weren't dead! You were captured, and there's a fucking difference! Every single day you spent there…"

"It doesn't matter. It's the past. We're here now, we're here, and nothing is ever going to take me away from you. I'm here. I'm yours."

"Fang…"

"I never once blamed you, not really," Fang says. "It was not your fault."

It isn't the immediate relief I'd been expecting. Instead, it's a slow, nearly painful release of pressure in my chest. Fang brushes his lips against my forehead, soothingly rubbing the pad of his thumb against my arm.

"I love you. That will never change."

I close my eyes. He doesn't hate me - good. That does nothing to stop the tears that are still steadily tickling the sides of my face.

"I love you, too," I whisper. "I never once stopped. I could never, even if I tried."

Fang's large hand smoothes the tears off my cheek tenderly.

"I want you to hold me," I say quietly, vulnerable to him. Fang lets out a breath, lets my honesty bounce around in the silence between us for a moment. Eventually, he bends down and kisses my face one more time before getting up. I still hold his hand.

_Go to sleep thinking of me, _Fang thinks. _I'll see you there._

**A/N: Review?**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: THE SUPPORT FOR THIS STORY IS NUTS. **

**I have to go to work tonight, then Prom this weekend, so I have literally three minutes to post this. So, no in-depth responses. Which means I suck. Yeah. Sorry. **

**It sucks that some of you didn't quite enjoy Max's meltdown/confession/breaking point. I wrote it a couple times, but everything felt over the top and stupid, so…I don't know. I liked it. And I like how it's resolved. I think the relationship needed this. So. **

**Thank you for the reviews! I'll try my best to shoot out some responses some time this weekend! In the meantime, go read something from **_**FaxFiction **_**or **_**Lustrex**_**. It'll entertain you far more than I can. **

**Read on, dudes. You know what to do.**

**Sorry for typos and sorry it isn't long. Just...sorry. **

MAX

I try.

I do, really. I watch him in a broken confusion, not sure why this is the best time for him to whip out the "Dream of me" advice, but I do try to. It doesn't conjure what he must've thought it would, though. Instead of thinking of the safe warmth I feel with his arms around me, and the slow even caress of his breath against my ear, and the curl of his long fingers around my thigh when he holds me against him at night, I see exactly what I've _been _seeing.

I sit up in bed, wiping the excess wetness off my cheeks, furious with myself and Fang. Maybe in the past, with littler things, we've been able to overcome something with a small talk like that. Maybe in the past we've been able to run away to the safety of a shared dream and chase ignorance and reassurance in each other's arms. But right now, I need something different. The worst part is, I think Fang knows that well enough himself. And when I dip into his mind, I'm not completely wrong.

He's reliving that moment. The moment I told him I needed him to hold me, and he'd felt the precarious tipping of almost falling off the edge of an enormous, mysterious cliff.

_She said she's never regretted anything we've done, _he thinks to himself. _I won't change that. _

Perhaps he feels safer about being close to me in the dream, rather than in our bed. Or maybe he figures waiting to fall asleep would gain him some time to figure out his plan of action. Either way, he sees two very important factors in the way of caving and comforting me.

I'm drunk (he thinks; I'm not so sure, maybe nightmares are more sobering than people realize). He has no experience with me this way, and definitely doesn't want to overstep any boundaries. Especially because he knows I'm insecure about it; he knows that I'm trying, at least, to stick to the rules of this breakup. And he's seen firsthand the response I have to him overstepping certain treaty lines.

Not to mention I just laid a huge topic out for debate. _I've never really thought of it that way, _Fang thinks, almost chastising to himself. As if saying to himself, "I should've thought of that. I should've blamed her." My heart wrenches at the thought and I back out of his mind. Did I seriously just introduce a problem that didn't exist?

_You had to talk about it, _I tell myself. _It won't go away on it's own. You two need to discuss it. _

I'm right, as usual. Maybe it's the leftover alcohol, or the lingering fear from my dream. Either way, something possesses me to slide out of bed and tromp down the stairs, my comforter wrapped around my shoulders. It's four thirty AM, and I'm intent on real, healing conversation. I will not take "Go to sleep, honey" as an answer.

"I keep expecting you to be perfect at gauging every situation," I say first, sinking onto the couch beside him. Fang gave his bed up to Ella, who I can only hope took the air bed like Fang suggested rather than joining Iggy in his own. Oh, well - I have a more pressing matter to deal with now. I can't presently be worried about my sister's sleeping arrangements. Maybe tomorrow.

Fang looks at me, his entire face showing how tired he is. I feel wide awake, if not a little dreary of the conversation ahead.

"I mean, you do a lot of things right," I say, pulling my legs up and tucking my comforter under my feet. I look at him. "I guess when you don't do something right, in the boyfriend department, it kind of throws me off."

Fang looks up across the dark room. It's so silent this early in the morning, with only the insistent chirping of early birds outside. We're whispering.

"That's it, I think," he says. "I'm not the boyfriend right now. It complicates things."

I let out a whoosh of breath. "No kidding."

Fang gives me a long, meaningful, sidelong glance. I look at him, open and vulnerable.

"Did you want to?" _Did you want to stay with me and hold me and chase the bad thoughts away?_ It's such a needy thought, ridiculous to me even now. I don't understand why it's so important that I reassure myself that he wanted to comfort me, but right now I feel like I have to ask.

"I wanted to."

I sigh again, resting my head back against the couch cushion. I slowly roll my head to the side to look at him, smiling gently. "That's good."

"Just like I wanted to kiss you, earlier tonight. Just like I want to ditch the mattress on Iggy's floor and come to bed with you instead. Just like I want to forget any of this ever happened."

"Just like I want to pretend everything is okay," I add, nodding. "Yeah. I can relate to that."

Fang gives a long pause before asking, "How long has this been bothering you?"

"I didn't have time to think about it at first. We dealt with other things, focused on bigger problems. And then I get a breather and I think, _Damn Evelyn, she ruined everything_. And then I get an even longer breather and I think, _Damn me_. Because I could've stopped it and I didn't."

"Could you have?" Fang asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He shrugs, in response to his own question. "I don't know."

I close my eyes. "Fine. Maybe I couldn't. But I could've tried."

Fang lets his body relax backwards, so his head is leaning against the cushion beside mine. He turns his head to face me, looking at me through half-closed, tired eyes. "Max…there was nothing." He continues in the quietness of our minds, his fingers grazing where mine lay under my blanket. _Sure, you went after Angel when she was kidnapped - but you knew who took her and where they were going. With your mom, we got ransom notes, pictures._

_Evelyn left nothing_, I think, relenting. _But still._

_But still what? _Fang thinks. "Do you _want _me to blame you?"

I don't say anything.

Fang looks at me, accusation plain on his face. He whispers in a resigned voice, "You do."

"I feel like you should hate me," I say finally. "I feel like…I should be constantly performing grand gestures to prove that I love you and I'm sorry."

"Now you know how it feels to be me," Fang jokes quietly, bumping my shoulder. My lips smile, but the thought still twirls in my head, making the guilt swell quietly in the shadows of my head.

"Fang, I'm serious. I feel like…like I'm the reason you went through all that. And while it was happening, I was…going to school, trying to get over it. I feel like I let you down."

"Your instance isn't nearly as bad as mine."

I look at him, curious. When he doesn't feel like saying it out loud, I push into his head and involuntarily gasp. I've never seen that night from his eyes before. He's remembering in vivid detail the panic rushing in his blood, and the confused, pained look on my face. The forceful way he took me. The fear in my eyes when I pulled myself together and _let him_.

"I didn't do that for you, or for us. I did it for me," he says. _Makes me sick. _

"I forgave you for that," I say without thinking, and I know immediately what he's going to say.

"I forgave you, too. Okay?"

I nod slowly, turning so I could rest my forehead against his bicep. I pull in a breath through my nose, closing my eyes. He sits still against me, quiet, letting me absorb that. Whether he blamed me or not, whether he ever held me responsible or had any grudge against me, he's forgiven me. Which doesn't erase it, not even close… but neither is the incident of that night erased by me forgiving his ignorance of my readiness and willingness. We can't escape what's happened in the past - obviously Evelyn will always be apart of Fang's life. So will all our ups and downs, our fights and breakups. But the important part is that we accept each other anyways.

"_I think you both have to be ready, when the time comes. You both must have everything resolved before giving your relationship another try." _My mom's words drift through my mind, and Fang finally unfreezes and kisses my hair.

_Thank you. _

Fang rubs my back slowly, his eyes boring into mine. "You need to go back to sleep."

"Come with me," I say quietly. "We can shove a pillow between us, or I'll sleep on the floor. I don't care, just…" I trail off, not sure what to say to break him. Fang watches me for a second and then sighs.

"C'mere."

We lay out on the couch. I'm between Fang and the back of the couch, nestled in a warm, safe embrace of Fang's arms and the soft cushions. Fang pulls the comforter over both of us. I rest my head on his shoulder, sighing. My hand tentatively rests on his waist, unsure how much is too much. He relaxes against me.

"That 'Go to sleep thinking of me,'" I say finally, tilting my head to look at him. "Do you think that's what does it?"

Fang nods, his arm snaking around my middle. "I think that's why we had so many shared dreams when we were split up," Fang says gently, referring to when he left the flock years ago. I rub my nose against the fabric of his t-shirt, thinking. It's possible - we never really figured out what triggered the dreams. We just knew they happened.

"We haven't shared a dream in a while," I say, biting my lip.

"It's your fault, then," Fang says, his voice thick and gravelly with exhaustion.

"You think of me?" I inquire. _You fall asleep thinking of me? _

"Mmphmm," Fang groans, pulling me closer. His body heat is incredible. I curl up against him, my feet tangling with his, my toes curling around his for a second. He wiggles his back in response. I squeeze my eyes shut one more time, this time intent on finding solace in unconsciousness. The unspoken confession floats in my head: _Every night. _My mouth twitches into a smile.

Sleep doesn't take me soon enough. Fang relaxes against me completely, his breathing substantially slower. I lean up and kiss the corner of his mouth really quickly.

"Thanks," I whisper, when I'm sure he's asleep.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I hear Fang think, _Don't mention it. _


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I don't know where this chapter comes from. Really. I just…I just don't know. **

**Hagbre5498: Dude, you and me both! My updates are very few and far between, but hopefully the quality lightens the blow a bit. Thanks for taking the time out of your schedule to read and review! I'm glad you liked the resolution of Max's breakdown. It was a big moment for them and I needed it to be perfect. I agree that it was as realistic as I could make it, while staying true to the characters. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Jenni: I had a **_**blast **_**at prom. Seriously it was wonderful. Thank you! I hope you enjoyed yours, too. I'm glad you're still with me!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you appreciated the resolution. **

**Lustrex: You deserve it! Yes, the last chapter was such a big step for them, so I'm glad it seemed okay. Next chapter they will talk about it a little more, but… you'll see! They're accepting each others' baggage, which is extremely important. I honestly didn't think to really delve into Fang's memory of that night too much, but maybe I should have. Honestly, I think Max wants to forget it almost as much as he does. I just wanted to highlight that they both had big screw ups on their consciences. Anyways, sorry I left that gap! Little things like that are usually why I wish I had a beta, but my schedule is way too fucked up for that. And, as for the physical stuff, Max and Fang mold into each other and heat up the moment very quickly, the way I write them. I don't do it on purpose - sometimes I barely even notice that I do it. That's just how I see them. They're so comfortable together, it happens as quickly and hotly as fire. It's kind of one of my favorite things about their relationship! There's a little more of that fire-like relationship in this chapter, so… enjoy! Thank you so so much for the feedback. **

**Flygrrl: Thank you! I did enjoy Prom, and I hope yours is/was just as incredible as mine was. **

**Loserslovereadin: I'm glad it was satisfying! There were a lot of emotions I needed to communicate perfectly in this chapter, and I was worried about it not being good enough. You seriously flatter me too much. I just…I don't deserve you! Read on!**

**Stormchase4533: Prom was wonderful, thank you! And I really loved the last scene of the last chapter, too. But…I like this one better. ;)**

**Awesomealpha11: Well, yeah. I can understand the disappointment from others, because I kind of built up anticipation for something not as climactic as people seemed to imagine. But…this felt right. I'm glad you agree! I think in the end I still made a lot of people happy with Max's meltdown, and I was definitely happy with it, so it's all good! Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and no one was mean about it. (Because you guys are all too sweet). And I'm glad their one-on-one time was good! I feel like they needed some open, raw time together. Thank you so much!**

**FaxFiction: Yes! We finally see some healing here - of the relationship, I mean. They start to accept that neither of them is perfect, and they always will have baggage. But they always **_**have **_**had baggage, and it's nothing to hide from each other. Like I said above, writing Max and Fang seriously comes naturally. Writing anything else, I work at it for days to perfect it. But somehow the interaction between the two of them usually, **_**usually **_**comes easier. Of course, my Fang is kind of OOC and they're pretty raunchy in my stories, but ah well. What does that say about me! Haha! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and leaving such helpful comments. **

**Nola96: I'm so happy to hear that! The breakdown for Max was an idea I had for a while, but it was very hard to get down on paper. I needed it to be perfect, and to lead to the right kind of resolution, to highlight the right problems. I'm glad it was satisfactory. If you liked the cuddling, you'll probably love me by the end of this chapter…I am accepting cyber hugs and cyber cookies, just an fyi. (: Thanks girl! **

**awkwardllama: Yeah, they've had a rough time throughout this story. (This trilogy, in fact!) I really like how you describe their relationship, actually. Very spot on. I try my hardest to show it that way, so I'm glad that you liked my rendition of it! Also, thanks for noticing the seamless way they interact now. Yeah, yeah - they're basically one person. Thank you!**

**Kateflowrchild13: Thank you! I hope you enjoy this one! **

**Okay, guys. Read on! **

**M warning: There may be grinding…okay there is definitely grinding. But all clothing is intact, scout's honor. **

MAX 

I wake up with the comfortable press of Fang's weight over me. In any other situation, this may have been a problem, but the softness of the couch cushions beneath me means that I'm not crushed. It's slightly harder to breath, but the heaviness of him over me feels good, safe, for some reason - and I contemplate closing my eyes and going right back to sleep, content.

However, as soon as I close my eyes to do so, the pounding headache hits with a vengeance. Instead, I settle for staring at the ceiling of the living room, rubbing Fang's back slowly and pushing my fingers into the knots there, slowly working them out. He groans and presses closer to me, his fingers grasping my waist. I feel his hardness against my leg but don't say anything. I can think of nothing that would ruin the calmness and comfortableness of the moment, except maybe mentioning his morning wood that's insistently harassing my thigh.

I'm curious, though, as to what he can possibly be dreaming about that's sparked such an enthusiastic response. I am very tempted to peek into his mind, but realize that's probably an invasion of privacy. Plus, what if I don't like what I see?

Best not.

Minutes later, Fang wakes groggily and groans, rolling his weight off me when he's coherent enough. I wiggle out from under him and back myself up against the back of the couch. Fang shifts onto his side and faces me, dragging a hand down his face with a small yawn. I watch him. It's been so long since we've had a morning like this.

_How do you feel? _Fang asks in my head as we resituate and scoot closer, for the sake of fitting on the couch together. His knee finds it's way between my thighs; one arm goes under my head and the other slides up my back, dull nails scratching up my spine over my shirt.

"Head hurts," I answer. "What time is it?"

Fang levers himself up on one elbow for a second to read the clock on the wall across the room.

"Eight thirty," he murmurs, settling against me again. I groan.

_I'm going back to sleep, _I think, closing my eyes. Fang's fingers trail up my neck to my hair, wiggling the elastic hair tie out. Then he starts rubbing my scalp, massaging my temples with his thumb.

With the help of Fang's massaging fingers, I drift in and out of sleep until about ten am, when the others begin to venture down into the kitchen for food.

"Really? I get kicked out of bed and sent to Iggy's floor, and you two don't even sleep up there?"

I look over Fang's shoulder at Ella, who's pretending to be upset. I blink, the entire night rushing back to me at once.

"Sorry," I say, relaxing into my cocoon once more. "Rough night."

"It's fine," Ella says, sinking into the armchair to my right. "Ig woke me up with a kick to the head, but it's fine."

"It was an accident," Iggy groans, walking through the living room on his way to the kitchen. "Fang usually puts his feet at that end, and I didn't know I was so close to you."

Ella shrugs. "He's abusive."

"Ha, ha. Say that again and I won't make you any French toast!"

Ella smirks, lifting herself out of the chair and scurrying off into the kitchen. I sigh and turn away from Fang so I can face the back of the couch. He adjusts accordingly.

• • •

"Max, get up. Breakfast."

"No," I grumble, yanking my comforter over my head. I realize that my headache is back in full swing and that Fang is absent at the exact same moment. Both disappoint me at almost equal levels. I want to go back to sleep. "I'm not hungry."

"Food and coffee will help with your hangover," Iggy says offhandedly.

I immediately deflect that one, though the throbbing in my temples and the sluggish feeling of my mind prove me wrong. "I'm don't have a hangover."

"Fine - your _headache_. Whatever. Come on."

I slowly slide the covers down so I can peek over them at Iggy. He's standing beside the couch, holding out a piece of still sizzling, greasy bacon with an eyebrow pitched in the air. Just as I wiggle my hand free of the covers to grab it, Iggy tosses it in his mouth and munches happily, moaning in pleasure. Evil little shit.

"There's more in the kitchen," Iggy says, already heading that way. I glower after him. "Hurry before it's gone."

I say something equal parts vulgar and insulting and Iggy chuckles, leaving me lying on the couch in silence. I glance around, trying to convince myself to get up.

Five minutes later, I make my way out off the couch. My muscles groan and my neck aches something terrible - sleeping with my head propped up weird has worked a painful kink into my neck. I walk into the kitchen, rubbing my neck as I roll my head from side to side.

"Morning, Max," Gazzy says, then does a double take. "Morning, Max's rat nest."

I glare at him, touching my hair. "Morning, twerp."

"Gazzy, leave her alone. She's too hungover to brush her hair," Nudge says, grinning.

"Max doesn't brush her hair, ever," Angel says. Then she turns her calculating eyes to me. "You're hungover?"

I stare down at her, matching her look. "No."

She's not convinced.

"I'm _tired_," I say. "That's different."

"Yeah, all that _water _you had," Holden says, smirking into his cup of coffee. I sigh and decide not to defend myself anymore. Iggy grabs a plate and hands it to me. "Eat."

I head over to the stove and start loading my plate with food. I shove a piece of bacon into my mouth and ask, "Where's Fang?"

"Flying," Iggy says.

I sigh. I take my loaded plate back into the living room and sink into the couch, pulling my comforter around myself once more as I get settled against the cushions. "This is good, Ig."

"I know," he says. "Your mom wants us over for dinner tonight. She said we should head over at, like, four."

"I think I'm just going to hang out until then," Ella says, smiling as she sits next to me and wiggles her bare toes under my comforter. I shift and offer her more of the blanket and she takes it greedily. It's a little chilly in the house.

"Until then," Nudge says dryly. "I have a project to do for History. If anyone wants to help, go ahead."

"I'm going," I say between bites, "to take a shower. Once I'm done eating. Where are the girls?"

"Upstairs," Ella supplies. "They already ate."

"Okay," I say, scooping the last bite off my plate. I go through the kitchen to throw away my plate then head upstairs to take a shower. I run through the night before in my head while the water heats up. As I shuck off my shorts, I think about Aaron's party. It's hazy, but I remember Fang fighting Patrick. I realize that, in the midst of my huge breakdown last night, we never really got the chance to talk about how he pulled himself out of a potential episode during the fight.

Making a mental note to follow up on that after my shower, I step into the hot spray and pull the curtain closed. My muscles hurt - my whole body kind of hurts. Not like I've been fighting Erasers, but like I'm fatigued. I roll my shoulders, letting the water tend to my aching muscles.

I take my time in the shower, for once not worried about rushing around to get something done. As the water starts to turn colder, I shut it off and wrap myself in my towel, greedily trying to keep the comfortable warmth. I step out of the shower onto the bathmat and gather up my clothes. I peek out into the hallway then run to my room, trying to escape the freezing air on my still damp skin. Once in my room, I shut the door, drop the towel, and start pulling on clothes.

_Finally done hogging the shower? _

I actually jump, quickly spinning around to make sure Fang isn't in the room with me. When I realize he's just in my head and not in my bedroom, I relax.

_You're home. Bummer. _

_Miss me?_

_Hardly. _

I pull on a bra and a t-shirt, then dig through the dresser for some clean underwear. I haven't done my laundry in a long time, so it's pretty slim pickings.

_Go commando. _

"Would you get the hell out of my head?" I ask out loud. I pull out the lacy number Nudge forced me to buy and wiggle them on, as a last resort. They're surprisingly comfortable. There's no excess bunch of cotton or scratch of fabric. _That would probably be because they're miniscule_, I think.

I close my underwear drawer and move to look for some pants when the door flies open. I jump, letting out a screech, and the next thing I know I'm standing in the kitchen with everyone else. And when I say everyone… I mean everyone.

"Max! Ew!"

"Gazzy!" I shout, matching his level of shock and absurdity. "Shut your eyes!"

He does, burying his face in his arms at the table. The girls are all laughing, and Angel snorts orange juice out of her nose, throwing her hand up to stop the spew. Holden turns very pink and looks awkward as hell, so I move quickly around to the other side of the kitchen island to hide myself from everyone's view.

Everyone except Fang. "Damn," he says, not loudly but not quietly. "Turn around."

I smack his arm, horrified. I smack it again to get him to look up at my _face _this time. "No! Everyone close your eyes!"

Nudge refuses to stop laughing. Angel is currently coughing her lungs up, tears in her eyes. Fang won't stop looking at me.

"Max? Are we playing hide and seek or something?" Iggy demands from upstairs. "I don't feel like playing!"

I huff, looking around the room at eyes that have refused to close. "Close your eyes! Fang!"

"What?" he says indignantly. He is enjoying this entirely too much, his eyes glued somewhere they should not be. "_Why_?"

"Max, why don't you have any pants on?" Nudge asks, still laughing. Her face says clearly, _I knew I was right about that black lace. _

"Iggy scared me! Fang and I were already talking in our heads, so I guess my first instinct was to just…teleport to him," I say, my face hot. "Despite my state of undress."

Nudge smirks, looking away from me to Fang, who's eyes are still cast downward.

"Like 'em? I made her buy them. I knew you'd like 'em," Nudge says, unabashed.

"Gross. I'm out," Gazzy says, stumbling blindly out of the room.

"I do," Fang says, fist bumping Nudge. "Good choice."

"Max?" Iggy asks, coming around the corner.

"Will someone please get me some pants?" Emma, one step ahead of me, runs down the stairs and throws me a pair of shorts. With a muttered _Thank God_, I pull the shorts on.

"You don't have pants on? What the hell?" Iggy asks, holding his hand out. "Anyways, do you have my iPod?"

I make a dramatic sound of irritation, even while I grab the offending piece of technology off the counter by the can opener and smack it down in his open palm. "That's what this was about? Seriously?"

Iggy just shrugs, mumbling a thanks while he plugs his ears with his earbuds. "Put some pants on!" he calls over his shoulder.

I huff, looking at Fang. He shrugs, taking a drink from his mug. The others are starting a game of poker at the kitchen table, and Fang gives me a long look before moving upstairs. I clean up the kitchen, remind the others that we have dinner at Mom's tonight, then move upstairs after him. He's in Ig's room, on his air mattress, scrolling on his laptop.

"Hey, want to go workout?" I propose, leaning on the door handle. The corner of Fang's mouth tips up.

"Is that code for sparring?" he returns in the same light manner, still clicking away. "Want to see if the fight with Patrick was a fluke, huh?"

I move into the room, closing the door quietly behind me. I lower myself on the small twin bed next to him, feeling it sink with my weight. He's on his blog again. Seems like the extended vacation from updating hasn't kept his readers away. "Do you think it was?"

Fang slides his computer off his lap. He grabs my wrist, and in the next second has me completely pinned to the mattress. His thumb presses into my wrist, feeling my heartbeat go haywire. I refuse to say or do anything except raise my eyebrow.

Today, something between us is healed. Something between us is different.

"I don't think so," Fang says thoughtfully, sitting back.

"Well, I just want to be sure," I say airily. I'd wave my hand casually if it weren't pinned above my head on his pillow. "Plus, you know…I was just offering an out for the pent-up frustration."

"Frustration?" Fang counters teasingly, passing off one of my wrists to the other hand, so both of my hands are held in one of his. The other hand of his is about to cause some terrible mischief, if I know him and the glint in his dark eyes at all.

"Falling asleep thinking of me every night?" I ask incredulously. "Then having no one to assist with the problem that I'm _almost positive _follows?"

Fang's roaming hand grabs my knee hard and pulls it up and away from the other one. I feel his body relax against mine, his body like a space heater. It's the first time in my life I've had to physically stop myself from letting my eyes roll back into my head. Instead I press against him just as hard, nearly rocking my hips. Fang's lips graze up my throat and I tilt my head back as far as I can, rasping in a breath as he holds me captive. "Are you…offering…your assistance?"

I struggle to free my hands, but Fang isn't having it. I groan, twisting my legs around his and pushing my wrists up on the pillow. His hands follow mine, and soon he's spread completely on top of me. I tilt my chin down and our noses bump. I do it again, watching his lips open subconsciously as I rub my nose against his. I tilt my chin down more and his lips kiss my nose, releasing a breath over my skin.

"Kiss me," I breath. I can see him think about it, contemplate it for a split second, and so I try to bully him into it. I kiss his cheeks and his nose and his jaw and wait for him to take it further. "Kiss me, kiss me, Fang, kiss me…"

"No," Fang forces out finally, moving his mouth down to nibble on my collarbone. Our hips have started to move without my noticing, but I do nothing to stop it. "No. Not yet."

I let out a laugh, pushing my chest against his. "You'll skip that step and just move on, then?" I ask, pointedly jerking my hips against him. Fang bites my arm, right by my shoulder, and I gasp.

"The next time I kiss you," Fang grunts against my skin, "I won't stop there."

"Okay," I breath.

"And it will be…so worth it," he adds quietly, as an afterthought.

"Promise?"

He doesn't answer. The rocking of his pelvis has changed; instead of fast friction, he's now simulating something else. Slower, harder, longer pauses between movements. I groan, pulling him closer, my skin on fire. I feel so good, so perfect, even though I'm sure we look absolutely ridiculous practically fucking each other with our clothes on.

"You want me," Fang breathes on my neck, his fingers removing from my wrists only to twist with my fingers.

"No shit," I gasp, jerkily trying to match his pace.

_You're so warm, _Fang thinks. _I think…I think I could get you off, just like this. _

The idea seriously almost makes me lose it. He presses his forehead into the hollow of my throat and kisses between my collarbones, rubbing against me as if it's his life on the line. My toes flex, I press my heels into his calves, and I twist under him.

"What…are you…_going to_?" I pant.

He looks into my eyes and sighs, slowing.

"No. You deserve something better."

I look at him like he's nuts. "_Better_? But I-"

The door opens and for the second time today I'm so startled that I jump. This time, though, I just kind of flinch violently beneath Fang. Ella and Iggy are in the doorway.

"Oh, really? Wow," Ella mumbles, moving toward us. She reaches beneath our entangled legs and yanks on the arm of her sweatshirt. It takes three hard tugs before it comes free. "Thanks so much for dry humping on my sweatshirt."

"Welcome," Fang mumbles, not yet pulling away from me. He drops his head to my chest and I turn my face down, to hide both my laughter and the redness of my face. Iggy groans.

"Are they- Really? In my room?"

"We, um…We were just going outside," I say pointedly. Fang lifts his head and looks at me. He glances back at the doorway, where the two judgmental teens stand. Ella crosses her arms over her chest.

"We need just a second," he says.

"What?" I murmur, turning my eyes to his. Fang glowers at me. _I know you're familiar and Iggy can't see, but I don't really want Ella to see the tent I've pitched. _

"Oh. Oh!"

I smile brightly at them, slowly untangling my legs. "We going to have to give Fang a minute. See you downstairs?"

**A/N: With all the guilt and fear and animosity gone, Max and Fang are going to heat up quickly. This was, by the way, the awkward teleporting aforementioned in the A/N a few chapters back. I hope it was sufficient.**

**Please review! We have another time skip next chapter, and then we move forward into the long-awaited reunion scene. **

**Thanks, guys. Really. **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Not the best ever, but yay for another chapter! It's kind of filler, but I needed a good ol' transition chapter. So here we are. **

**DntlessAnnabeth: Aw. I would've understood it! Thanks, girl. **

**Lustrex: I find myself forgetting that practically every time I write them. Haha! They're almost never 14 year olds in my stories, just because I **_**can't **_**write them that way. Reunion scene is next…but here's the transition. I'm excited, too. I worked my ass off on it. Enjoy!**

**Loserslovereadin: Thank you! Told y'all the teleporting was awkward! And thanks for pointing it out, I don't think that was mean at all!**

**Stormchase: Aw, thank you! I tried really hard to make that chapter hilarious, awkward and sexy, so I'm glad I got it right! **

**Awesomealpha11: Thanks! Much appreciated!**

**RomitrilsMyMaximumMortalFlaw: Yeah, sometimes the best creations literally come from no where! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I hope you like this one, too! **

**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForever: Hey, he can't help it! (: Thanks!**

**Kateflowrchild13: I knew you'd like that little slip of Ella and Iggy banter! Yeah, Max and Fang are really making progress. Thanks for reviewing! **

**Nola96: Annnnd the longest review for last chapter goes to…. Nola! Thank you so much! I love reading long, well thought out responses. I am only judging you slightly on the 50 Shades thing, only because you can do so so much better! Thanks for choosing me over them, though. That's flattering. I really am happy that you liked it, and I really hope you like the next chapter because…I worked my ass off. Thank you, though, for the comment about how my writing has grown. I can't believe how much this story has helped me expand my talent. **

**FaxFiction: I know, I know. I was always too scared to write it before! But all the compliments on my M stuff really helps, haha! The way I write Fang? No, no, no. The way you write Fang. This isn't even an argument. You win, every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Thank you, ma'am. Really. **

**Guest: I know, right? Thanks for the review!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Glad you enjoyed their flirty banter. It's always fun to write them! **

**Read on! If everything goes as planned, the next chapter (the fun, M one) will be up by Sunday. **

MAX

I fall heavily onto the grass on my back, wincing and closing my eyes. While I drag in breaths of oxygen, I take inventory. My thigh is throbbing where his heel connected with my quad. My nose stings, and the wetness on my upper lip lets me know that I'm almost definitely bleeding - unless that's sweat. My knuckles are hot and tingling, probably bruised, and my scalp is screaming. That little twerp actually _pulled my hair_.

"How was that?" I wheeze, cracking open one eye to squint at him in the sunlight. It's the beginning of May and hot as hell outside.

"Best I've ever had," Fang pants, wiping sweat from his forehead. "I break your nose?"

I shake my head, which makes me feel dizzy. I stop and rest my head back on the warm, soft grass. "No, it's just bleeding," I say. I reach up and put pressure on my nose with my pointer and thumb, trying to stem the bleeding. "And I meant how was that, mentally."

_Mentally, I feel bad for breaking your nose_, Fang thinks. He puts his hands on the ground behind him and pushes himself to his feet, reaching down a hand to help me up. I'm proud to say that I'm not the only one a little beat up - his lip is split and his cheek will be sporting a hefty bruise tomorrow.

The past two and a half months have been full of constant sparring. Fang's come a long way - from needing someone to physically pull him from the memories to being able to reject them on his own. It's gotten a lot better. There's no big fear of him having a sudden outburst or episode at any given time - it takes a trigger, usually the chemical reactions he gets from sparring. But even those episodes have been cut down to nearly a third of what they used to be.

Sounding quite Elmer Fudd-ish, I say, "S'not broken."

We go down the hall to the bathroom and I double over to rinse off my face while Fang grabs the first aid kit. He wads up a bit of toilet paper and hands it to me. I dab it around my nose and then hold it under my nostrils. Fang tilts my chin up, then feels along the cartilage of my nose. He sighs.

"Told you," I say.

He doesn't say anything, but he starts to clean a cut on my cheek while I hold pressure on my nose.

_Talk to me, _I push into his head. _How was it?_

"She was…barely there," Fang says, but he doesn't sound exactly _excited _about it. Instead, he sounds confused, as if he never imagined to be free from the memories like that. I touch his other hand, which is on the counter by my hip, and he looks at me. "Like when you're fighting, and all of your old battles flash through your head. Like remembering taking down Erasers. Almost like recalling functions for a math test. It was… weird. It was weird."

"That's…good," I say slowly, lowering my wad of tissue. I touch my nose tentatively, but there's no more blood gushing. "She'll never be gone. Just like Erasers will never be gone from our memories. Or the School. But…"

"But she isn't taking over," Fang says. "Yeah. That's good."

"I'm proud of you," I say quietly, watching his face. Fang glances up to meet my eyes, then shrugs and starts zipping up the first aid kit.

"Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome," I say, unaffected by his sass. Fang ducks down to put the kit safely away in the cabinet beneath me under the sink, and I take the opportunity to grab a handful of his hair. He looks up at me in surprise.

"Pull my hair like that _ever _again, and I will pull yours out by the roots," I say softly, poking him in the ribs with my toe. "'Kay?"

I throw my left leg over his head to the right side and hop off the counter, leaving the bathroom.

Most of the others are in the living room, save Angel, Gazzy and Holden, who've gone flying. Aaron is sitting on the couch next to Nudge, showing her the basic keys of his old keyboard. As soon as he mentioned that his mother used to make him play the piano (guess that explains the baby grand in the living room), Nudge has been wanting to learn. Iggy and Emma are sitting on the other couch, talking music.

"How was sparring?" Nudge says, abandoning her lesson to look up at me.

"Really good," I say, sitting in the armchair. "How's practice?"

"Well…I'll get there," Nudge says. "But look! Look at what Aaron can do!"

Aaron rolls his eyes and places his fingers on the keys. As he starts playing a quick, upbeat little tune, Fang comes down the hall and sits on me. I wiggle my legs out from under him and put them on either side of him, bent at the knees slightly so there's room for him on my chair. I wrap my arms around his middle and he leans back against me.

"That's cool, Aaron. Can you play anything else?"

He shrugs. "That's all I really remember. I'd need the sheet music for some other stuff. I quit when I was, like, ten."

I nod. Everyone kind of falls back into their own conversations, Fang and I sitting quietly in the chair.

"So, you guys are seniors in like a month," Nudge says, sitting back against the couch. "Do you have any idea what you want to do with your lives?"

No one says anything, and I grin. "Fang's probably going to do journalism," I say, and he shrugs at Nudge's raised eyebrow. "Iggy, for now, wants to work with the CSM."

"Well, it seems like the smartest choice," Iggy says. "Compared to the other pipe dreams, like firefighter or chemist."

"Oh, Ig!" Emma says. "You'd be really good at that."

"Yeah, but who'll trust a blind kid with endangered lives or flammable chemicals?" Iggy asks, shrugging. "Whatever, I'll figure it out."

I smile confidently, trying not to let it show how much his disappointment bothers me. "I don't care if you become an exotic dancer. You'd be good at anything you did, Iggy."

Iggy grins. "Damn right I would be."

Nudge laughs. "Okay, what about you, Beethoven?"

Aaron just glances at me. We've talked about this, actually. Fang rolls his eyes.

"Max and Aaron wanna be cops."

Nudge ponders this. "I think I can imagine that. Seems fitting."

"No college," I say, holding out a hand. "Just straight into the academy. Plus, I don't see the job getting too boring, ya know? And…I'll be helping people."

"Or giving out speeding tickets," Aaron says, grinning. "Either way."

"Hey," I say defensively. "After a childhood of never knowing a single _helpful _officer of the law, I'd like to actually do something productive for people. Sue me."

Aaron backs down. Truthfully, I feel like being a police officer will just give me a sense of purpose, which I'm afraid of losing. Having fulfilled the actual reason for my existence, I'm afraid to start feeling like wasted space.

Fang thinks that's bogus, and that I could never be wasted space. But then again, that's Fang.

Angel runs inside, grabbing Emma for a game of tag. Aaron flips on the TV and starts scanning the channels while Holden goes into the kitchen to find some snacks.

"Not much in here," Holden says, coming back with a bag of chips and a box of fruit snacks. "We're running low."

I sigh, realizing that that is a hint for me to get up and go grocery shopping.

"Grab me some fruit snacks," I say to Fang, who refuses to move. He leans forward and brings back three small packages of fruit snacks. I tear one open, looking at the TV. A commercial for a new action movie is on, and I say, "That movie looks really good."

"We should go see it," Fang says lowly, tracing a finger up the side of my thigh. I grin and put my chin on his shoulder, not answering. Fang shrugs his shoulder under my jaw and I laugh in his ear.

"Let me savor this moment. Fang…Fang just asked me on a date. _Me_. I feel so lucky, so…unworthy-"

Fang pinches my thigh, making me jump and fight back a squeal. I seem to have forgotten that there are other people in the room, because I whisper teasingly to the back of his neck, "Yes, we should go."

Someone clears their throat, and I look up to see Nudge gazing at us in surprise.

"What?" I ask, relaxing back against the chair.

"I just… I kind of thought…you guys were already back together."

I raise an eyebrow. "Uh, _no_," I say. "Have you seen us _kiss_?"

"No…?" Nudge laughs.

"See? We're not back together yet."

"Then why don't you just kiss and get it over with? The tension is killing everyone."

I bite my lip. "Because. We're waiting."

"For what?" Nudge asks, unabashed.

I hesitate, then come up with: "Fang's old fashioned. He won't kiss me until we're going steady-"

He pinches me again.

"Ow!"

Iggy huffs. "This is gross. Aaron, let's go get drunk."

I laugh. "Not here. Go to Aaron's and be bad children."

"Fine," Iggy retorts, getting up.

"Can I come?" Nudge asks. Iggy immediately responds with "Hell no."

As soon as they're out of the room, Nudge asks if they're really going to go get drunk.

"Probably not," I say, shrugging. "I need to go grocery shopping." I push on Fang's back and he gets up and moves to join Nudge on the couch. "Be good, you're in charge."

As I leave the room, I hear Nudge say in all seriousness, "She was talking to me."

• • •

"Hello?"

The house is dead quiet. I shuck off my coat and venture further into the house, ditching my shoes near the door to the hall bathroom. The old hardwood squeaks under my feet, seemingly loud in the silence. With a peek into the family room, I'm even more confused. With eight members of the household, our family room is never _empty_. It just doesn't happen.

Still baffled by the sudden vacancy of the house, I go into the kitchen and start putting away the groceries I got. As I do, I find a frozen pizza sitting in the back of the freezer and pull it out, my stomach growling. I can't even remember the last thing I ate.

I rip open the box and pop that sucker into the over, turning the dial to the correct temperature. I set the timer for ten minutes and then turn around, sighing as I study the empty room.

"Is anybody home?" I call loudly. I don't remember anyone saying that they had plans today, but maybe I'm just mistaken. Either way, I desert my confusion for a second and pop open the Advil, my head throbbing. Only after I've downed two pills do I notice the purple _PM _symbol on the bottle. The drowsy kind. Great.

I cup my hands around my mouth, walk out into the hall and call, "_Hello?_"

"What are you shouting for?" comes from lips that are right behind my ear.

"Holy-" I spin around, my heart thumping wildly, and thump Fang in the chest. "Don't do that."

He only raises one eyebrow neatly before moving into the kitchen past me. I follow him, watching him find a drink in the refrigerator and crack it open.

"Where is everyone?"

"Out," Fang says shortly, taking a slow chug of his soda.

I move over to the kitchen island and start going through the stack of mail. End of our junior year? That means that Fang, Iggy, Holden and I are getting college mail left and right. I sort through the pile out of sheer boredom, mumbling, "I…hate…school…oh, Princeton mailed Iggy. Have _they _seen his report card?"

I am highly aware of the moment the atmosphere changes. The feeling of the air coming through the open kitchen window fades away, as does the delicious smell of my pizza cooking. Fang sets down his soda with a definitive clank and I stand, staring at the mail in my hand but not really seeing it, my heart beating anxiously in my chest.

_Fang? _

He doesn't answer with words. His fingers pluck the mail out of my hand and he tosses it to the countertop carelessly, turning me around.

"Where is everyone, for real?" I mumble.

"Out," Fang repeats.

"I'm suspicious," I whisper as he leans closer. He takes my chin in his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head up. His thumb runs along my jaw line tantalizingly. He tips his head down.

"You said…you weren't going to do this until-"

"…I know what I said."

**A/N: Review! **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Earlier than expected! That's a first, haha. **

**It's too early in the morning for me to respond to reviews separately, so read this instead: **

**I love you! Thank you so very kindly for leaving my the thoughtful review you did for last chapter. There were only a few of you, and I cherish you greatly. If you're reading this and you know you didn't review last chapter, no fear! I love late reviews. I seriously can't get enough of them.**

**YEAH, the time skip was hard. Basically, to explain something that won't be explicitly said in this chapter, they still had a lot of work to do with Fang. It wasn't just, "Oh, we forgive each other, let's have sex and be in love again." Fang was still having episodes at that point, still fighting for that level of stability. Also, his dreams aren't gone. But we'll talk about that a little in the next chapter. IN ADDITION to Fang's problems, they were busy as hell. Two months fly by while you go to school, take care of a household, and use any of your spare time to learn to heal. I mean, yeah, Fang maybe could've made more progress without distractions, but…he isn't in an institution or seeing a therapist. It's was slow going for his healing process. That stuff doesn't just go away. So I needed to make the gap significant enough, yet not too overwhelming. However, the part with Nudge saying she just assumed Max and Fang were back together was meant to highlight that, while they didn't identify as a couple yet, they were definitely much closer than they had been, and they were pushing boundaries more. **

**Sorry that was long. **

**Uh, we still got some stuff in store, if y'all are interested. I know this is going on…forever, practically. **

**Read on!**

**M Warning: Oral. Yay. **

MAX

_I'm going to get laid! _

That thought registers before anything else, if you can believe it.

His eyes hold the question, and my answer is _no fucking duh_. I push my hands up around his neck, grasp the back of his head by his hair, and urge him down, letting his lips fall on mine. He immediately takes my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking and nipping at it gently.

"I missed you," he whispers, lifting me up onto the counter with one swift movement. I don't have to say it back - he knows well enough. I grab the sides of his shirt and yank it up, making him cooperate so I can toss his shirt across the room.

Fang pops the button on my jeans and I remove my hands from his neck to press them flat against the counter. Then I lift my ass and Fang reaches under me, grabs my back pockets, and yanks my jeans down to my knees. I gasp as my naked thighs touch the counter and kick the pants off.

"The house is ours," Fang whispers, kissing my neck gently. "Until nine."

I grab his cheeks, looking down at him. "You planned this?"

Fang looks at me, unmoved by the surprise in my voice.

I laugh, pushing my fingers through his hair tiredly. "Okay. I'm down."

He picks me up off the counter, grinning. "I knew you would be."

We don't make it far. Fang deposits me on the couch and kisses my lips once more before getting to his knees on the carpet between my thighs.

"How did you get everyone out of the house?" I say. "I'm dying to know."

Fang smiles at me, lopsided yet still extensively sexy and lustful. "Just told 'em I'd be re-proposing tonight, and they probably didn't want to be around for what was coming afterwards," he says.

His fingers trail up from my feet all the way to the insides of my thighs until I squirm back into the cushions of the couch.

He pulls out a box, and I freeze. I sit up, grabbing his face and looking at him. "I love the way you proposed the first time. Can't we just…" I trail off at his look. He looks at me, floored, his eyes wide.

"But, I had a plan."

"Fang." I don't know why. I don't know. I just know that when I think about his proposal, when he came home and held me against the wall and didn't know what hand to put the ring on and was nervous as hell - that's what I want to remember. When I tortured it out of him, made him do it right after three tries. I want that to be my engagement story.

"Fine. Just…let me," he says, sitting back on his heels.

So I sit back and let him. He's kneeling on the floor in front of the couch in just his jeans, and I'm sitting on the couch wearing a t-shirt and my underwear. And Fang says, "Maximum Ride, can we please, for all that is good and holy, take our engagement off hiatus?"

"Why?" I prompt softly. Fang raises an eyebrow at me before raking his eyes down my figure.

"Because…because I…_love _these," he groans, tracing the edge of my black panties that lay in the crevice between my pelvis and my thigh.

"Oh, fuck… come here," I breathe, wrapping my legs around him. He hunches over me, kissing me hastily while he wiggles the ring on my finger. He wraps his arms around me, pulls me closer and closer until I slip off the couch. I gasp, landing kind of on his knees, propped up between his body and the couch. I groan, lean my head back against the cushion I was just sitting on, and let his mouth find me again.

And then, the timer in the kitchen sounds off.

"Oh, shit," I breathe, pulling away. "Wait."

Fang pulls back reluctantly. "Really?"

I nod glumly. "My dinner. I haven't eaten since the fruit snacks."

Fang glares at me.

I bite my lip. "Yeah. Um…I'll be really fast."

He sighs as I get up, leaving him on the carpet, looking dejected.

I run into the kitchen, grab an oven mitt and haphazardly yank open the oven. After sliding my pizza onto a pan and sloppily cutting it into slices, I plop down at the table in the kitchen and start scarfing down the pizza, despite how hot it is. My stomach growls wildly so I dig in. I have half the pizza almost all the way devoured before I notice the way Fang is staring.

I swallow. "Uh, want some?"

He shakes his head. I bristle at that, going back to my pizza. "Stop watching me eat."

"Hurry up."

"I have two pieces left," I say. "Go…"

"What? Get started without you?"

I frown and blush simultaneously. "_No_. Get ready or something."

"Get ready?" Fang repeats monotonously, glancing down at his jeans and the obvious situation going on down there. "I think I'm ready."

"I don't know! But don't watch me, it's weird. Go brush your teeth or something."

Fang gets up, glaring at me. "You suck."

"I'm sorry!" I call after him. "Two minutes!"

I scarf down what's left of my pizza and leave the pan and two pieces of crust on the table, shooting to my feet and running upstairs. My foot finds purchase on the landing and I slide, crashing to my ass in the hallway.

"Ow," I groan. I look down only to see the culprit is Fang's discarded jeans. "Fang, are you trying to kill me?"

"What? No," his voice comes from the bedroom.

"I'm sure," I grumble, stumbling into the bathroom. I brush my teeth as thoroughly as possible, ridding my mouth of any leftover taste of pizza. Then I run down the hall and around the corner, crashing right into Fang himself. His hands find my hips and steady me.

"Just coming to get you by force," Fang jokes, tapping his fingers against the small of my back. I jump and he scoops me up, and I settle against him, sighing when he tilts his head up and catches my lips. It's like someone hit the _play _button on a movie that had been paused in the middle of an action seen. We're right back where we left off.

I imagined our first time together after months would be perfect and lustful and silent. I imagined we wouldn't need to say a single word to each other, and that the passion would take over and it would be the stuff of romance novels you find deep in a middle-aged woman's library.

We don't even get to our bed.

Fang's blind to the world because his lips are glued to mine, and we bump into the dresser before we find the bed. I gasp, reaching a hand back to brace against the rough wood, and Fang decides that's good as anything. He shifts my weight from his torso to the top of the dresser. My fingers smooth over his shoulders and down his chest, pulling him close.

"Fang," I whisper, my eyes closing while he moves between my legs. I groan into his mouth while his hips insistently grind into mine, hard. I lean away, panting, and pull off my shirt, tossing it over his back to the floor. Fang grabs my wrists and holds them to the dresser I'm sitting on, his lips falling on the skin of my neck, nibbling gently, making my toes curl. He's still rocking against me, slamming his hips into mine again and again and again. I can hear the dresser creaking, the slow, repetitive _thump _of the wood against the wall.

"Fang, we're gonna break it," I gasp, throwing one leg around his back and lifting myself against his movements. "Ah, um, the dresser-"

He cuts me off by dragging me off the dresser and depositing me on the carpet, following me down and covering my body with his.

I roll over on top of him, pushing his shoulders down. I kiss him quickly, then I yank his boxers down a couple inches, exposing some coarse, dark brown curls. I swallow and wet my bottom lip nervously.

I only did this once before. That time, I'd been totally pissed beyond belief. Not to mention that I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I'd just gotten lucky in that scenario - he'd been just as new to it as I was, and anything hot and wet probably felt like heaven, so it didn't matter what my technique was.

"You don't have to."

"I know."

I pull of his boxer briefs completely, throwing the behind me. Okay, okay. Familiar territory. I've been here before. I've seen my boyfriend's cock before. It's _no big deal_. I glance up at him but he isn't even looking; his eyes are already closed, his fingers pressing into the soft carpet beneath us. I grin.

I'm not sure where the proper place to start is, so I do the logical thing and focus my initial attention on the head. I press my slightly open lips to him and bob my head down before I can think to _not _treat it like a popsicle.

_I probably look ridiculous. _

_Not even close, _Fang thinks, and I look up through my lashes. Our eyes lock and he groans when I rhythmically slide my tongue against the underside as I suck gently on the inch or so of his length that's in my mouth. He closes his eyes again.

_More? _I think, continuing my ministrations. This goes on for about a minute in silence until Fang's brain forms the thought, _Can you? _

I don't know. Can I? There's a lot to think about at once, like watching my teeth and not gagging, but I decide to try anyways. I relax my throat and brace my hands - one on his hip, one on the carpet - then suck more of him into my mouth. My tongue does most the work, mindlessly stroking the ridges of his cock. Meanwhile, my throat constricts dangerously, telling me to wrap it up before my gag reflex freaks the hell out. I pull back just a little, take a short breath in through my nostrils, and bob forward again. I repeat this multiple times, suckling gently.

He seems to like it.

"Max, _holy shit_," Fang murmurs, stroking my hair almost obsessively, as if using the action to anchor himself. "Too close, baby."

I raise an eyebrow, continuing my routine without fail. Down, stroke, suck, breathe, repeat. I flick my tongue over his head and he cups my cheek.

"_Stop it_," Fang groans. "Before I fucking drown you."

Well, yeah, that doesn't sound fun. I pull away, giving one last sucking kiss to his length before he's dragging me up his body and laying me on my back beside him. He takes a second, pulls in a few breaths, then rolls over on top of me. He kisses my lips sloppily, sliding his tongue past my lips and tangling it with mine. He pulls my bottom lip into him mouth and sucks, still breathing heavy.

"Was that okay?" I ask breathlessly, tiredly.

Fang hums in approval, leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses down my chin, throat, and sternum. He reaches up onto the bed and grabs a pillow, then grabs my thigh and tells me to _lift_. I can only assume that means I should lift my ass, so I do. He stuffs the pillow under my hips and continues downwards.

"Jesus, Max," Fang hisses, spreading my legs. I lay back on the carpet, closing my eyes. He kisses up and down my thighs, groaning as he gets closer to my center.

Without much more of a preamble, his tongue smoothes neatly over my wetness, poking upwards to flick at my clit. Something bright and white explodes behind my eyelids, and I grab a fistful of his hair. He falls into his own pattern of stroking, plunging and sucking. He skillfully finds my button - his newest best friend - and tortures me by suckling gently on the small bundle of nerves. I sigh, stroking my fingers through his hair while he fits his tongue inside me. While I climb towards that long-awaited orgasm, Fang makes rough, sloppy slash marks over my clit with his tongue. I grip his hair and force his mouth against me, feeling the rough scratch of his stubble.

"Fang! Fang, ah, please," I plead, too lost in the feeling to care about how I sound or look. I glance down at him tiredly then feel a sudden drowsiness pull at me. As soon as he uses the tip of his tongue to really press my clit, I come so hard I can't even breathe. My entire body tightens and I want to clamp my legs shut, but Fang's still down there. I refuse to let him anywhere near my tortured little bundle of nerves, but he resiliently laps at my entrance, lengthening the spasms and aftershocks of my orgasm. He finally pulls away and leaves wet, scratchy kisses up my body. When he reaches my neck, he breathes in my ear, "I need you so bad."

And I all can think in that moment is, _I just…need to close my eyes. Just for…one second. _

Then I fall asleep.

Fuck you, Advil PM.

**A/N: You would think, you know, how could she possibly drag this out any longer?**

**But I can, guys. I can. **

**Review!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: IT'S LIKE ONE AM. I NEED MY BED. **

**I know you all love sexy time. Here's more of it. **

**I'm sorry I suck at responses. Thanks to: loserslovereadin, FaxFiction(I have a PM to finish writing and a review to write...I will! ASAP!), awesomealpha11, Guest, pancakes-for-you, Resisting-Moonlight, DntlessAnnabeth, Nola96, and Stormchase. Love yas.**

**BTW: I fixed the pants problem of last chapter! Ooops! (Thanks for pointing it out.)**

**M warning: The real deal, peeps. Pretty much from beginning to end. Lotta F bombs, too. It's pretty raunchy. Get ready. **

**Read on.**

MAX

"Welcome back," I hear softly in my ear as I wake up. A hand that's cupping my breast over my bra strokes the skin of my cleavage. "Thanks for ditching me."

I groan and push back against Fang, blinking a couple times to expel the leftover sleep from my eyes. "Did we have sex?" I mumble. Fang's hand slides down my stomach and around to take hold of my hip, still stroking my skin with his thumb.

"No," he says.

It comes back to me - _all _of it. I sit up in a sudden panic, and look at him despairingly.

"Fang! Oh, no! What time is it?"

"Like eight," he says, amused.

More from a couple hours ago hits me. Fang whispering his need to me, pulling me close.

"Oh, _no_," I repeat. I lay down slowly next to him again, shifting so I'm facing him. Fang's fingers brush my hair behind my ear. "I left you hanging," I admit regretfully.

"It's fine, I took care of it," he murmurs, still looking at me. I raise an eyebrow at him doubtfully, glancing down at the friend poking me in the stomach.

Fang looks down, too, almost thoughtfully. "Okay, he's not stupid. He knows the difference between the real thing, and…_not _the real thing."

I frown. "I took the drowsy Advil on accident. I guess that, combined with a full stomach and my orgasm, kind of knocked me out," I say sheepishly.

"I forgive you," Fang says, kissing my nose.

I'm determined, though. "Let's do it now."

Fang's eyebrows draw together. "Really?"

"Yes. We have an hour, right? And he's obviously up for it," I say, reaching down and grabbing his erection with a bravery I didn't know I had. Fang's body responds immediately, which makes me warm with happiness. We fucking _own _each other, neither of us can deny it. Fang scoots closer. We're lying on our sides on the floor of our room. The pillow that Fang had used to prop up my hips was now under our heads. He shifts forwards, pulls one of my knees up to rest on his thigh, and leans in to kiss me while his hand finds the soft wetness between my legs. I keep stroking him slowly, although it isn't that easy because there's no lubricant. I go slow, for that matter, and Fang doesn't protest so I guess it's fine.

"Unh," I gasp, feeling his probing fingers get to work. His thumb slips up to rub my clit through the hood, and one of his fingers presses gently past my entrance. My skin is still hypersensitive - or maybe I'm imagining it - but it feels as if I can feel each and every ride of his fingerprint massaging against my walls. I mewl helplessly, urging him to add another finger, which he does. My hips twitch toward him like metal to a magnet, and my hand spasms around his length. Fang groans in my mouth, his tongue sliding over mine hotly.

"Need you," I gasp, pulling him closer. I desert the hand job in order to tug at his waist, bringing his body against mine. We end up rolling over, so he's on top.

"Condom," I say, but Fang's already slipping one into my hand. I curl my fist around it and reach down with both hands. I've never personally done this part before, but I paid attention the last time he did it. I lift my head off the floor a bit to stare down between us as I work, just in case.

"Need help?" Fang murmurs, kissing across my shoulder.

"I've got it, thanks," I say back sarcastically. I've got it on him by now, but I wrap my hand around him and give him a torturous stroke just to be a jerk. He closes his eyes and growls in my ear, his fingers yanking my legs apart around him. He nestles his way in between my legs, the head of his cock bumping right up against my smooth, sensitive skin.

"Ah! Ah, ah," I gasp, feeling the sparks of pleasure that result from Fang guiding himself inside me, just the tip. He looks at me for reassurance that yes, these are good noises, and I nod manically.

"Make love to me," I ground out, arching under his hesitant touch. Fang lets his breath out in a huff.

Fang grips one of my hips in one hand and uses the other to guide himself. As soon as he's sliding into me, unencumbered and passionate, my mouth drops open and my head cranes back. He makes it completely inside me in one smooth stroke and I am breathless, speechless, motionless. This is the first time that it's immediately felt _good_.

And fuck does it feel good.

"Oh, God, I missed you," I pant unattractively, wrapping my legs around him and using the leverage to lift my hips up. I rock against him wantonly, closing my eyes.

"I was thinking the same thing," Fang says, pulling out slowly. I laugh, grabbing his face with my hands.

"I know."

He braces an arm on the carpet by my face, kisses my lips roughly, and _really _begins to take me. His movements are more confident than ever, the beating of his hips something unimaginably perfect. It's constant, unwavering - somehow, he's become a pro at this. There's something about the feeling of splitting open around his length and pulling him inside me that sends me into near convulsions, especially when he rotates his hips against me and _really _thrusts, hard enough to scoot my ass backwards an inch on the carpet. I move my hands down, holding him right above the small of his back as we move. He gets more urgent in his thrusts and I curl my fingers, pushing my nails into his skin while I gasp in his ear. He moves up a little to reach behind my back and unclasp my bra. I push it off my shoulders and he ducks down to take my nipple in his mouth, and _I'm so glad no one is home_.

"Unh, Fang- _God_!"

His teeth scrape against the skin of my breast, his tongue flicking out against my nipple slowly. He's panting harshly against my skin.

I can tell he's close. I can see it, when his eyes pinch shut. I can feel it, in the way his rhythm falters. I drag my nails up his back, crying out. His jaw clenches. With a grunt of my name, his lips latch onto my neck. He finds a spot that makes my vision blink out, he hits it repeatedly, relentlessly, until I'm crying out a garble of words. I feel his teeth scrape my skin and moan deep in my chest, sliding my hand down experimentally.

I take his testicles in my hand, cupping him lovingly while he moves against me. Fang lets out a helpless noise, completely pushed over the edge by my gentle rubbing. He surges forward, with even more vigor, and finishes himself off inside me while moving so hard against me that the sound of our skin slapping is louder than our panting.

"Fang," I whimper, but he's already on it. While he rides out his orgasm with small jerks of his hips, he takes my clit between his fingers. I cry out, "Ah! Ah! Oh, my - _Fang_! Augh!" My muscles clamp down possessively around his length and I spasm around him, feeling the hot coil in my belly unravel all at once.

It takes us a couple seconds, after that, to figure out who we are and where we are and what month it is. Fang has enough energy to lift up on his knees, peel off the latex condom and ditch it in the small trash bin by our desk before he curls up against me, naked on the floor. With his cheek on my chest and his arm around my waist, he passes out.

I guess fair is fair.

I do a quick inventory - yes, all fingers and toes made it through that tsunami of sensations - and then I tug at our comforter until it slides down off our bed to cover us. I cover Fang with it but leave it off his legs, exactly how he likes it, and rest my head back against the floor, never more sated and content in my entire life.

• • •

"I think I have rug burn," I mumble, my head on Fang's chest. Now he is awake, and he's gently massaging my back where my wings connect flawlessly to soft, slighty-sweaty skin. Occasionally, his fingers run up through my feathers and itch in just the right spots. I sigh, closing my eyes.

"Sorry," Fang says quietly, not sounding very sorry. His hand trails down my spine to smooth over the hot, irritated skin of my rump. "Should I rub it?"

I let out a breathy laugh. I prop my chin up on his sternum and he stares down his nose at me, completely relaxed. I can feel him against my belly, but if this position bothers him, he isn't showing it.

"Yes, that's what it needs. More friction."

Fang snorts.

I run my finger over and around his nipple, watching it harden and point up in response. "Can I ask you something?"

Fang's eyebrows furrow seriously. "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't complicate things."

I laugh and retaliate by nibbling on his collarbone, crawling up his body. Fang's chest rumbles and he rolls us over so we're both on our sides, facing each other.

"Why did you propose _before _this?"

He sighs. "Did you not want me to?"

I shrug my shoulder. I close my eyes and say truthfully, "I don't know."

"Did it feel like I was proposing just to get laid?" Fang asks, propping his head up with his elbow on the carpet.

I crack open an eye. "Not until you said that."

"Fuck, sorry."

I laugh. "I mean, maybe if you hadn't mentioned my panties as the reason-"

Fang's eyes widen slightly. "I had a plan, but you said you didn't want a new proposal."

I nod. "I didn't. You're right."

Fang just watches me, amused.

"Was it good? Your plan?"

Fang rolled over onto me, purposefully squashing me to the ground, kissing my nose. "It was good. Probably the best you'd ever have."

"Too bad," I mumble against his lips. "It's a shame I missed it."

"You would've cried, probably."

"Couldn't have been _that _good," I say doubtfully, touching his stubbly chin.

Fang raises an eyebrow and kisses my wrist, my palm, my ring, my fingertip. "I'm _that _good."

I laugh and Fang cuts off my laugh with his lips, capturing my mouth. The door swings open suddenly and something flies, hitting Fang's head.

My pants.

"Gross!" Nudge says, her face screwed up in fury. "I have people over! _God_!"

"I told you to stay gone until nine," Fang says, unbothered and still nibbling on my neck. I pull the blanket up self-consciously, hissing, "Stop, Fang, knock it off."

"It's nine thirty," Nudge says blandly. "And I'm telling Iggy where I found those jeans."

"Why do you have people over if it's already nine thirty?" I ask, lifting my head to look over Fang's back.

"Why are you on the floor?" Nudge shoots back.

I narrow my eyes. "…Don't get too rowdy."

Nudge turns and leaves, calling out, "Back at 'cha!"

She storms out and slams the door behind her. I grin cheekily at Fang as he pushes my pants off his shoulders.

"Oops."

Fang just shrugs, laying down against me again. Occasionally he kisses me, slipping his lips against mine tantalizingly. I catch his mouth and suck one of his lips between mine, sliding my tongue over the swollen flesh of my mouth tenderly. Fang cups my cheek.

"Sorry," he murmurs.

"What? Why?"

"You asked me to make love to you," he says softly. "I just…I couldn't get myself to go slow. I thought I'd die if I didn't just get on with it already."

I smile, putting my hand over his. "Fang…what do you think we did?"

He stares at me. "Is that a trick question?"

I shake my head. "No, it's just…in my book, you _did _make love to me. It doesn't matter if you didn't go slow. You held me and looked into my eyes and kissed me. Did you do all that just for _you_?"

He looks doubtful, but I already know the answer so I trudge on.

"You looked at me like I was the only person in the entire world," I say quietly, staring at him intently and just daring him to break eye contact. "You cherished me. I felt loved. That's what I wanted."

Fang contemplates this. "As opposed to?"

I shrug. "Pinning me down? Fucking me? Saying filthy shit in my ear to get me off?"

Fang's face splits into an unholy grin. "Are you ever going to ask me for that?"

"Probably," I say, blushing.

He wedges himself between my legs. "Do you want that _right now_?"

I gasp against his lips. "…Yes. But-"

"But what?" Fang counters, taking my knee and pushing it up so he has more room.

"But…there are people downstairs!" I insist, even while he intentionally slides his erection against me.

"Max…" he groans, kissing my neck hotly.

"Do what you did before," I say, as if his grinding isn't affecting me. "Take care of it yourself, if you're so good at it."

"So good at it? When exactly did I get practice? On the run, sleeping between you and Angel, or chained to a wall in a dungeon?"

I narrow my eyes at him.

"Right," he says, as if my silence proves his point. "If anyone has practice, it's you-"

"Uh! I have not-"

Fang chuckles, nibbling on my nipple teasingly. "Don't lie, Max."

I gape at him.

"In the car, at Aaron's? You knew exactly where you needed me to touch you. Exactly how to rub your clit to get yourself come," he murmurs, still grinding. "A girl who's never masturbated wouldn't know that."

I splutter for an answer. "I…read books!"

He just lifts an eyebrow at me. He begins to scoot forward, to enter me, and I gasp, "Condom!"

This makes him freeze, and he groans. "Fuck. Can we just risk it?"

I laugh. "They're two feet away in the drawer," I say. "No! Get on the bed."

Fang frowns. "The bed is loud."

"So's the floor," I say, shrugging. "They're going to hear us. Oh, well."

Fang rolls his eyes. "You are the weirdest person I know. You can't kiss in public, but you'll let all Nudge's friends hear us."

"Do you want me or not?" I taunt.

He pushes himself to his feet. I hear him go around the bed, pull open the drawer and grab a condom. As soon as I stand up, he's coming back around the bed. He grabs my hips and pushes me backwards, until my back is on the wall.

"Oh, _God_," I moan softly. "Really?"

He doesn't answer. He rolls the condom on silently. I tap my fingertips against the wall, waiting in baited silence.

"Come here," Fang says. He lifts me into his arms and slowly presses my back to the wall. "We're going to try this."

"Okay," I gasp, my hands on his shoulders.

"Tell me what you want," Fang orders firmly in my ear, biting my earlobe.

I roll my head back against the wall. "_Faaang_, fuck me."

He strokes me a couple times, with his thumb, feeling my slick heat. Then he guides himself into me. My back drags down the wall slowly as I let him fill me, stretch me. It's glorious.

"You're so wet," Fang groans, rutting forward in short, hard thrusts. "I never even dreamed you'd ever feel this good on me."

I moan, "Yeah, mmm, oh," and wrap my legs tight around his back.

I'm soft and pliant compared to his firm hardness, but somehow nothing has ever felt more exactly right. I can feel all of him, especially the head of his cock stretching my inner walls and filling me until I can't think.

"Do you think of me?" Fang whispers in my ear. "When you touch yourself?"

I cry out, refusing to make a comment.

"Because I fucking think of you," Fang hisses. "Every time, I think of you, Max. Your hot wetness around me, milking me, fucking squeezing me, _fuck_-"

He grips my hips and continues to jerk his pelvis roughly into mine. "E-Every time I'm inside you, it gets better," Fang carries on in my ear, his fingers moving from my hips to grip my ass. "The way you give me every inch of you, and you've never given it to anyone else…fuck, this is all mine - _fuck_, Max…"

"Harder," I plead, nibbling on his collarbone. I squeal in a very non-me way when he complies all too well.

"You're mine," Fang groans. "I need you."

I take his chin and tilt his head up. We're both close, I know it. That's why we're shaking.

"I love you," I murmur against his lips, tangling my tongue with his. My hands travel down to his ass and I hold his cheeks in my hands, feeling his muscles clench as he finishes us off together. My moan escapes into his open mouth.

After a moment of standing against the wall in awed silence, Fang stumbles backwards with me still in his arms and we fall sideways onto our bed, bouncing slightly with impact.

"I love you," Fang breathes.

And there, naked, sweaty, our legs hanging halfway off the bed and our bodies connected by his left hand in my right, we stay for what feels like forever.

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: So, we've reached a breather in the story. The next few chapters are full of time skips, primarily showing how Fang has gotten immensely better. The actual culmination of the healing process happens after Max and Fang's graduation from high school, so…we still have a year to cover. Hopefully I managed that tastefully enough. You'll see in the next few chapters. **

**If any of you have doubts about the Ella/Max sisterly bonding in this chapter, don't. Trust me. This shit happens. The conversations I have with my sister could scar people for life. **

**I can't respond to anything right now, because I am literally the worst. I have finals all this week and then I'm done with high school forever. Holy crap. **

**Big thanks to every single one of you, and please don't take my rushed author's note to mean I don't appreciate you. I really, really do. On the few of you waiting for PM responses, I'm SORRY! I still need to sit down and finish my thoughts on those, so…hopefully this week. **

**All my love!**

**Read on. **

MAX

"_So_… How was date night?"

I refuse to stall my dish-washing at the question. No matter the vivid images that spring inside my mind, or the recollection of exactly how wonderfully perfect date night was. I hold my mask of casualness like a pro. Ella's insinuating voice comes from behind me, by the counter, totally getting in my head and making my mother's presence beside me ten times more noticeable.

We've just finished dinner. It's two weeks after said date night, and the first night since then that we've seen Mom and Ella outside of school or carpooling. School's out, finally, and summer has brought along hot, sweaty days and humid, cricket-chirping nights. The windows are open but covered with screens to keep the bugs out. The guys have gone flying, save Gazzy and Holden, who are teaching a card game to Emma in the family room. Angel and Nudge are sitting at the table, eating a dessert of Nutella and pretzels. Mom and I offered to pick up dish duty.

"Fine," I say neutrally, passing the clean dish to my mom to rinse.

"I found her pants right here," Nudge laughs, pointing to the tile beneath her feet. "Right _here_!"

I spin furiously, flinging soap bubbles. "Nudge! Go clean your room!"

She laughs as she leaves the kitchen. I spin back around, hissing under my breath, "Oh, my God." I think I hear a sound from my mother, but I don't allow myself to analyze it.

Ella isn't phased. I have no idea why, maybe just because she gets ballsy when it's at my expense. "Wow. How was it?"

"Which time?" Angel mutters from the breakfast table, scooping up a glob of Nutella with a pretzel.

"Can we _pretend _you're a normal eight year old?" I say, embarrassed beyond belief. I glance at Ella and she is eating this up, watching me, her eyes bright with humor. God forbid I look at my mom right now. "You should clean your room, too, shouldn't you?"

"Shouldn't _you_?" Angel counters, but makes her way to the family room with her Nutella anyways. I sigh.

"…Well, I think I've got the dishes covered," Mom says in the most obvious tone. This allows Ella to yank me out of the room and drag me up to my bedroom.

"Oh, my God," I mumble, my face hot. "Poor Mom."

Ella cackles, flopping down on my bed. "Seriously. Her face was so red."

I glare at Ella while I shut my bedroom door. She scoots over to my side of the bed and makes room for me. I fall down onto Fang's side, still a little peeved.

"Tell me everything!"

"What?" I ask warily.

She turns on her side, fluffing up my pillow and getting comfortably ready for story time. "Come _on_, Max."

"Why?"

"This is what girls do," Ella says slowly, as if she is yet again leading little old clueless me through a social interaction. I'm still not so sure about that one.

"…Is it?"

"Max."

"It was fine! Fine," I say, rolling onto my stomach and letting my wings out. Ella reaches up and grabs the wing closest to her, running her fingers over the bony expanse. She snorts out a laugh as her small, thin fingers tickle through my feathers. "If Fang knew you said that…"

"Ella. It's personal."

"That's such bullshit," Ella says quietly, stroking one of my feathers with a look of intrigue on her face. "You know Fang's just off telling Iggy everything right now."

I roll my eyes. "He is not. I told you. It's private."

"So? He's still a dude." Ella pulls my wing closer to her face, digging in between two feathers to pull out a small leaf. "It's not like he's going to _tell _you that he told Ig. And Iggy won't mention it around you. It's just guy talk."

That's…true.

She smirks. "Just like I won't bring up the details to Fang. Ha! Can you imagine?"

Yes. Unfortunately, I can imagine it. I shake the image of Ella dropping obvious innuendos at Fang and I groan, letting her know that I'm consenting but I'm seriously not happy about it. I chew on my lip for a second, then say, "Fine. What?"

Ella continues picking through my feathers. "Was it romantic? Did he do anything special? Music? Candles? Dinner?"

"No, no, and no," I say. "This is weird."

"No it isn't," Ella reassures. "What was it like, then?"

"It was…fast."

Ella's face falls into sympathy. "Oh."

I gasp, pressing my face into Fang's pillow. I push myself up enough to give her a look.

I'd heard it that way, too. Oops.

"Oh, no! Not like that! We're…uh, we're all good in that department."

"Oh. So, like…rough?"

I breathe into the pillow. "Yeah."

"Huh. Lucky."

I look at her, alarmed.

She rolls her eyes, nudging me with her elbow. "Don't worry. Mom kind of raised me to think that you save that stuff for marriage."

I relax against the mattress.

Ella stares thoughtfully at the ceiling, still grazing my wings gently with her fingertips. "I just mean…I don't think Ig will ever treat me like that. He handles me like a Christmas tree ornament."

I smile at her, kind of shocked that she thinks about this stuff. Ever. She continues, "It's just…you and Fang are rough with each other all the time. You beat the crap out of each other. I can only imagine how that translates to the bedroom. Or, the…kitchen?"

I blush. "Bedroom."

Ella raises one neat eyebrow at me, then glances down at the bed beneath us.

I sit up, my back erect with shock. "Ella! You are _not _asking-"

Ella sits up, too, and points a finger at me. "You're deflecting! Because it wasn't! Where was it?"

I flop backwards on the bed, laughter bubbling up in my chest. I cover my face. "The floor," I say through giggles, pointing accusingly at the carpet.

Ella gapes at me, humor laced in her voice. "The floor? Really?"

"Really," I say, still laughing. "We didn't even make it here."

"Sounds like you were pretty eager," Ella says.

I look at her. "Cut us some slack. It had been a long time."

Ella rolls her eyes. "Is Fang, like, good at that stuff?"

That stuff? I feel my cheeks getting hot again and try to be nonchalant about it. "Sure."

Ella snorts. "_Sure_?"

"Yeah, well, he cheats."

"How?"

"He reads my mind," I say in a grumble. "He skipped the 'I don't know how to please my girlfriend' phase. He went straight into…well, _knowing_."

"Well, he sure knows how to prepare. Gazzy, Emma and Angel showed up at our house claiming that Fang had kicked everyone out."

"He did," I say. "Uh, we weren't quiet."

"Wow, I never thought of that," Ella says, picking at a few of her split ends. "Living with everyone else? You guys probably have a hard time finding alone time."

"We struggle as much as any other teenage couple trying to get laid."

"Or more," Ella says. "I mean, a household full of kids who don't knock, know how to pick locks, and can hear _everything_."

Fang and I had discovered this recently. Trying to find time to escape the hectic whirlwind of our lives long enough to have some private time is near impossible. It's been two weeks since date night and we have barely touched each other.

"Yeah, we'll have to get a little creative," I say, shrugging. The sex dice pop into my head and I feel even more embarrassed, even though Ella doesn't know about those.

Ella sighs, falling silent beside me. I glance at her, thoughtful. Something else she said earlier has me curious.

"El?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think Mom is disappointed in me? For sleeping with Fang?"

"What?" Ella turns her head to look at me. Her eyes narrow thoughtfully. "Because of what I said? About waiting for marriage?"

"I mean, yeah," I say, rolling over onto my side to face her. I tuck my hands under my chin, sighing. "If it's such a big thing for her…"

"Well, it's not like she locked a chastity belt on me," Ella says carefully. "It's just…that's a big deal. I don't want to sleep with just anyone. And…Iggy and I have only known each other for a couple years. It only just got serious, I mean…I want to be sure."

I nod.

"But…you're sure," Ella says, nodding at the ring on my finger.

"Well, yeah, I'm pretty sure," I say, closing my eyes. "I just…I don't want Mom to think I'm a letdown. I hope she sees it like you do. I mean, Fang and I…we're different. There's no doubt in our relationship. It's been tested too many times. We've been together for so long…"

"I don't think she's disappointed," Ella says firmly. "Maybe worried. But not disappointed."

"Worried?"

"Well, can we really expect a mother to be okay with her seventeen-year-old daughter being highly sexually active with her boyfriend, despite their special circumstances?"

I let out a laugh. "Good point."

The door opens and in comes the man himself, throwing down his car keys on the dresser and kicking out of his shoes.

"Hey," I say. "I was just talking about you."

Fang raises an eyebrow, committed to the short and sweet - and usually mute - responses when around other people. Ella grins at me, sitting up.

"Don't worry. All good things."

"Your mom is leaving soon," Fang says, pulling off his socks.

"Okay," I say, sliding off the bed. "Come on, El."

We tromp down the stairs. Mom is explaining which leftovers are in which containers to Iggy while she grabs her purse.

"I put the chicken in the blue container with the round lid. The rice is in the grey rectangular one."

"Blue chicken, grey rice. Gotcha. If I forget, I'll just do some taste-testing. Thanks for dinner," Iggy says, leaning against the counter. Ella bounces into the room, making enough noise as to not scare the shit out of Iggy when her arms slip around his middle.

"Bye," she says, kissing his cheek. "See you later."

"I'll call you tomorrow," Iggy says, squeezing her against him for a moment. I grin at Mom, hugging her tight.

"Sorry about the weirdness after dinner," I say. "If it were up to me-"

"I know. It's alright. I'm glad everything is getting back to normal," she says, still hugging me. I pull away and keep her an arm's length away.

"It is. It's a relief."

"How's he doing?"

I lift both my shoulders, widening my eyes at her. "Really, really well. I mean, sleeping is still tough, but the episodes are nonexistent, even when we practice fighting."

"Good. Give him some time. I love you, sweetheart," she says, hugging me again. "Tell Fang I'll see him Monday at work."

"Okay," I say, watching her move toward the door. Then I double-take. "Wait, what? Work?"

Mom grins. "Come on, El. We gotta get home."

Right after they leave, I'm ambushed by at least three children who need immediate attention for completely different reasons. I deal with the others, get everyone rounded up and ready for bed, then check the doors and lock all the windows. It's hot in the house still, muggy and thick, so I turn on the fan in our bedroom when I get upstairs and then turn on the TV. While I get dressed, Fang is getting out of the shower down the hall. As soon as I'm propped up in bed all comfortable, he comes into the room and drops his clothes in the hamper, sauntering over towards me in his pajama pants. He crawls onto the bed with his laptop in hand, lying comfortably between my legs with his head propped up on my sternum. He opens his laptop on his lap and glances up at the TV.

"Jimmy Fallon?"

"He's great," I say, wiggling my legs out from under him so my thighs can rest on either side of him. "How are the blog followers today?"

"We're about to find out," Fang says.

His hair is leaving a wet spot on my shirt, but I don't mind. I lean back against the headboard and reach for the remote, since the talk show has just gone to commercial.

"Hey, Mom said she'll see you at work on Monday," I say. "What's that about?"

"Wait, really?" Fang says, his voice piquing with interest as he types the password for his blog.

"Yeah," I say, still waiting for an answer to my question.

"I told your mom I needed a job, and she said she'd try to hook me up at the CSM. Writing articles and the newsletter and stuff."

"Oh, that's cool," I say, my fingers pushing against the muscles of his shoulders. "I guess we do all need to start getting jobs, huh?"

Fang shrugs. "Yeah, we can't really live off the money from CSM donations and shows forever."

"You know, Mom said a lot of other organizations were interested in using us as icons," I say thoughtfully.

"And we can always do that," Fang agrees. "Beats working at McDonalds."

I snicker, still rubbing his neck.

"What'd you boys do today?" I ask.

"Just talked about our date," Fang says indifferently. "Told Ig all the details."

I scoff. "What?"

Fang slides the laptop off his lap. In the next second, he's sitting between my legs on his knees, looking down at me knowingly.

I groan. "What did Ella do?"

"She winked at me when she told me to have a good night," Fang says, smirking. "_Winked_."

I groan. Fang lowers his head to kiss me gently and I speak against his mouth, "She promised."

"Can't believe you gossiped about our sex life," Fang murmurs. "That's…personal."

I stare at him for a second before narrowing my eyes. "You little-"

He swoops in again, cutting off my insult with his lips.

I don't mind it all that much.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Okay, everyone be honest. I'm going to buy **_**Maximum Ride Forever **_**tomorrow, but, like, should I? Do you think? Has anyone read it? Is it going to wreck my soul or something? Because…I just can't deal with that. I've come to terms with Nevermore. I don't know if I can reopen that wound yet. I've heard many mixed things about it, though, and I love the series too much to **_**not **_**read it. **

**I've seen a lot about it, including some crazy spoilers. All the reviews I see seem to think the book sucks but the ending is worth it…and then some just tell JP to let it die and others rave that they loved every minute of it.**

**Tell me (WITHOUT SPOILERS) what you think. Of course, once I read it, we can totally book talk the shit out of it. **

**So, friends. If I had designated this story into two parts in the beginning, this would be called "Part Two." But I didn't. So instead, the next few chapters will just feel like a ridiculously long time jump. Sorry. The truth is, nothing really interesting happens with Fang's healing process until the end of senior year, so…we're going to get our asses to the end of senior year. Hooray! Any questions or comments on my method here, PM me or leave me a review. I know we aren't all a fan of stories with huge gaps but most of you seem to realize it's pretty damn necessary at this point. **

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to:Hagbre5498, Lustrex, FaxFiction, loserslovereadin, awesomealpha11, Max-Without-Wings, DntlessAnnabeth, Resisting-Moonlight, and Nola96. **

**YES sex dice is coming. Don't worry. I didn't forget. **

**Blame this chapter and it's naughtiness on the inspiration of Florence + The Machine. **

**M Warning: Yeah, this is pretty much smut at this point. (If it didn't already reach that limit two chapters ago). Sex again. …Sorry?**

**I work in six hours. I need to go to bed. Read on! **

MAX

This is how it starts.

"Do you think we can have sex in a dream?"

It's nearly one thirty in the morning. Tonight's nightmare was bad, and Fang woke me up twenty minutes ago, on accident. We're both struggling to fall asleep, which makes me to wonder. Can we? We barely understand the limits of the dream world, especially concerning actual physical contact. If Fang were to punch me in a dream, I'd wake up with a bruise. Hence, the hickeys. But sex?

Fang seems to sink into thought on that one. I grin, rolling over to face the other way, getting comfortable. "Go to sleep, Fang. Let's try it."

He rolls over, following me, pulling me back against his warm chest.

"Do you think we'd, like, sleep do it?" I murmur into the covers, wiggling back against him. "Or do you think it'd be like…a sex dream? Nothing actually physical involved, just…the effects."

Fang snorts against my neck. "I don't know. But now I'm curious." He shifts, letting me resituate my wings where they're cramped between our bodies, then he falls into a soothing pattern of stroking my feathers and letting his fingertips slide off my wings and onto my lower back. I sigh, and will my body to relax. I'm out in a matter of minutes.

"_The beach," I say, wiggling my toes in the wet sand. "Haven't we already been to the beach?" _

_Fang shrugs. "Not this one. Look at the rocks, and the boardwalk," he says, touching my elbow and pointing. "Plus, it's brighter here."_

_He's right. The sky is a cloudless deep blue, the sun shining almost directly above us. The waves crash over my feet, spraying my calves with cold salt water. I step back, into the dry sand, and push down my shorts and underwear in one movement. I toss them onto the wooden planks of the boardwalk, although I don't think it really matters if they get wet or not. I step forward into the water again, my toes sinking slightly, and pull of the t-shirt that I wore to bed. _

"_Come on."_

_I take another tentatively step in, feeling chills go up my back and down my thighs and pretty much everywhere. The combination of the cold water, the slight breeze through my feathers, and Fang's eyes glued to my figure is enough to make my skin tingle. The only reason I keep myself from rubbing my thighs together is because he'd definitely see that at this point. _

_The water is torture. I pause when it gets to my upper thighs, braving myself for the freezing effects it will have on my lady parts. I extend my wings slowly and lower them, dragging the tips through the water around myself in parentheses, making ripples smooth ripples. I take a deep breath, ready to plunge a step deeper into the water, when I'm literally tackled into the surf. I gasp, choking on water and shoving at Fang, who's holding my head under. This is not foreplay. This is not what I am expecting. _

_I open my eyes and swallow a mouthful of water, hoping that I still remember how to use my gills. It works - I don't drown. I find myself face to face with Fang Junior and wonder just what would happen if I tried to blow him down here. _

_Just like that, Fang's hands grasp my shoulders and yank me up. His eyes are full of warning and amusement. "Maybe next time."_

_I raise an eyebrow. "I don't really need your permission, you know."_

_Fang smirks. _I know, _he thinks, pulling me closer until our bodies are pressed together. Somehow, his body is still radiating heat in the middle of the ocean. I shiver against him, feeling the contrast of temperatures on my back and front. Fang pushes my chin up with his fingers and lowers his lips to mine, one hand grasping my thigh and bringing it up around his hip. _

_It always happens like this. The need for him always hits me like a freaking freight train - I know it's coming, and yet it takes over my entire body, my entire being. I respond to his kiss and his touch so enthusiastically, unbelievably ready for him in just a matter of seconds. _

"_I want you," I breathe against his neck, feeling fingers grip my ass. I wrap my arms around him, climbing up his body in eagerness, pressing his hardness into my thigh. "I'm going nuts over here."_

_Fang's lips catch mine again. His fingers wiggle down between my legs and he plunges one in eagerly. I jerk back, flinching. _

"_Ow, Fang that hurts," I mumble, shifting against his knuckles._

"_This?" he asks, confused, still doing it. _

_I smack his shoulder with my palm. "If I say it hurts, don't do it again. Freaking dick."_

_Fang's finger retreats. "What's wrong?" _

_I sigh in frustration. "I don't know. I want to, I just… I think…" I blush, slipping one of my own hands down there to troubleshoot. "I think the water is washing…it…away."_

_Fang blinks at me. _

"_Do you think water and lube are the same thing? Ever masturbated with freaking _water_?" I snap._

_Fang narrows his eyes at me. "I don't get it. People have sex in water all the time. What are we doing wrong?" _

"_Nothing," I mumble. "I have an unresponsive vagina, apparently."_

_Fang actually laughs at that, walking my backwards out of the water. "Max, you are anything but unresponsive."_

_I smile, pulling his face closer to mine so I can kiss him and get the show back on the road. Fang stumbles over the sand with me in his arms. He detaches our lips long enough to focus on setting me gently on the planks of the wooden boardwalk. _

"_I don't have a condom, obviously," Fang whispers as he takes both of my breasts into his hands. _

_I push my wet hair off my neck and wiggle my shoulders, trying to get semi-comfortable on the wood beneath my back. Fang's lips torture the sensitive skin of my chest. _

"_So? Do you think it matters here?"_

_Fang looks like he isn't willing to take that bet. I roll my eyes. "Okay, Mr. Can't-We-Risk-It, just pull out."_

_Fang looks at me. _Are you sure? _he thinks. _

"_God, it's the first time all over again," I laugh, reaching down between us to grasp his erection. He's hard, but his skin is soft and velvety. I pull him closer, lifting my hips slightly, guiding him into me. _

_Fang's eyes are trained on us, down there, and so I curiously pulling myself up a bit so I can watch. I think this is going to be some slow, gorgeous joining of our bodies or something, and it is. For a second. Until Fang feels me around him - just me, no latex in the way, mind you - and practically growls against my skin. In a split second he's inside me completely, one smooth jerk of his hips sending him home. I gasp, partially in shock, rolling my head back. I lean back, press my palms to the boardwalk behind me. Fang grabs my ass and lifts me up to meet him each time, groaning as he maneuvers our bodies. _

_I rasp out a curse around the time my vision starts to go a little blurry._

"_No," I gasp. "Fuck. Fang-"_

In a split second, I go from being cold and wet and completely full to being hot and sweaty and clenching around nothing. My eyes fly open, and here we are, lying in bed. I wake up to Fang grunting in my ear, grinding into me with incredible dedication. Our clothes are still on, and he's a little off mark, but the effort is there.

"Fang-" I gasp out, sliding my hand down to grab his fingers, which are pressed into the skin of my thigh.

He's awake. He stops moving as soon as he realizes what he's doing, his eyes flashing. He sits back, panting heavily. We're quite a mess. Now we know what comes from trying to have sex in a dream. We just wake up in heat, totally fucking _attacking _each other. I've already got his pants halfway down his legs, and my shirt is pushed up so high by now it's not even technically on.

"Are you awake?" he demands, his eyes serious.

"Yes," I breathe, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. We're both covered in a thin layer of sweat. I kick the comforter off of us.

"Max, really. Are you awake?" Fang repeats, touching my face. "Do you want me?"

My heart tightens. I know what he's doing, what he's thinking of right now, and my throat feels thick with feeling. I swallow.

"Fang," I say, my eyes locking with his. "I want you."

It takes only one second for that to get through Fang's head. Then we're shedding our clothes, laughing and gasping and grinding purposefully against each other. It's the middle of the night, so we're being as quiet as possible. We bump blindly under the covers, Fang fights with the junk in our dresser before he finds a condom, and then we're making even more noise. We're a little rushed, a little impatient, so we end up skipping a few steps. With his pants and boxers still around his calves, Fang pulls my panties to one side and enters me in one solid thrust, making my breath stop in a short cry. He covers my mouth with his hand and I let him, because the last thing I want right now is to wake someone up.

I momentarily wonder when we'll ever slow down and make love, gently, lovingly, carefully. Then I think, _Who fucking cares? _This is nearly better, really, with the intensity of every single sensation driving me _mad_. I pull him closer, deeper, and nibble on his palm. Fang's eyebrows furrow, his hips rutting against me roughly, forcefully, desperately.

His palm captures my noises fine, but the bed is another issue. We have the loudest bed on the planet. I curl my legs around him and lift my ass off the bed, meeting him midair. I try to make our movements less violent, but nothing helps. The headboard thuds against the wall dully, and God help me, all I can think is, _We're gonna wake Iggy. We're gonna wake Iggy. We're gonna - oh, unh -_

Fang's fingers flex against my lips. He surges into me harder, with renewed vigor. My eyes roll in their sockets behind my closed eyelids. Fang thinks something like, _Please stop thinking about Iggy right now,_ but I'm so past that. He's hitting this nerve inside me that is literally shutting down my brain. My muscles turn to jelly, my hips stop meeting Fang halfway. My body just gives up as I let his cock find that spot inside me over and over and over again.

Fang moves his hand away just in time to replace it with his mouth. We kiss sloppily. I don't have the focus to make it a good one. My thoughts are soon a mantra of _Don't stop, please harder, don't stop._

With his lips keeping my mouth occupied, his hands can go elsewhere. One trails down my side and grabs my thigh, right behind my knee. He pushes upwards until I'm even more spread out for him, clenching harder around him. I can feel him better like this, _deeper_, and I mewl mindlessly. The seam of my panties is rubbing against my clit with each thrust, causing a slow burn of my orgasm to start deep in my abdomen. I can feel it, the sparks of release, tickling their way down my spine and to my center.

He starts to slow down. I cry out in frustration, about to protest, but his fingers clamp down on my mouth again. His eyes are closed, his hips finding mine harder, now, and slower. I lick his hand helplessly, hoping it'll do something, but I can't tell if he even feels it. Each thrust overwhelms my senses. I groan, lifting my hips to him.

_Fang…_

"You feel so good," Fang grunts, animalistic in his method of slow-fucking. His teeth move down to my chest and nibble on the soft skin of my breast. Fang's cock fills me on a slow, especially hard thrust that strokes every single inch of me. My muscles clamp down, spasming, over-stimulated and ready for release.

His other hand grabs my other knee and pushes it upwards, too, towards my chest. I'm so spread out for him that my hips hurt, being pinned down and rutted into repeatedly like this. I curl my toes, feeling him hit a new spot I didn't know existed.

"Oh, _yes_," I groan. "Fang, please."

His eyes lock with mine. One of his hands drops from my thigh, but I don't lower my legs. He moves his hand between us and frames my clit with two fingers, through my panties. I cry out loudly, feeling the fabric create a delicious extra friction. That's all I need to completely lose myself, shattering so hard that I don't even know if my scream is real or not.

All I feel in the moment of our orgasm is hot, hot, hot. My skin is hot, my pulse racing. The heat inside me is-

Different.

"It broke," Fang groans, his thighs tensed as he empties himself inside me. He doesn't have to tell me. I can feel him spurting warmly inside me. There's not enough energy for me to worry about it at the moment, though.

"It's okay," I promise, lowering my legs tiredly. Fang pulls out, exhausted, and curls up with me after getting rid of the broken condom.

We lay there, experiencing the aftershocks together. Fang's fingers run over my overheated skin, sliding up the curve of my waist and down the valley of my waist.

"I'm sorry," Fang says after a while, his voice clearly upset.

"I think we're okay," I say, my mind racing. "I just had my period. We're fine."

Fang looks at me, confused at why that matters. I shrug tiredly, not feeling like explaining fertility and cycles and whatever else that gynecologist mom forced me to see loves to talk about. Instead I kiss his mouth.

"We're okay," I murmur. "I love you."

He kisses me again, slower, and then closes his eyes.

• • •

We're in the honeymoon phase again - much to the dismay of the flock. We squeeze in as much personal time as we can, around the everyday duties of being guardians. Fang's job at the CSM is going strong, and I got a job at a bookstore in town. For the past three months, we've been throwing good portions of our paychecks into a savings account, trying to create some sort of financial stability that doesn't rely on CSM pay, donations, or gig rewards. The CSM has us scheduled for appearances as a group every once in a while, but mostly they keep paying us to use us as the face of the organization.

The broken condom fiasco is a thing of the past. I almost manage to forget about it, until we hit early July nearly a month later. The problem?

_I'm three days late. _I think this to Fang as we pile out of his car one hot July morning. We're at the store, getting a head start on school supplies. The middle school supply list came in the mail, and Emma and Angel begged us to take them before all the good stuff was gone.

Fang glances at me, locking his car with the button on his key ring. I can see Nudge, Gazzy and Iggy standing near the entrance, waiting for us. _To? _

_Don't play around, Fang. _My heart feels constricted in my chest, like I can't take in or let out a full breath. He grabs my hand.

_Okay. Okay. Are you stressed? _

_About missing my period? _I think blandly. _I guess you could say that. _

Fang sighs. _Can't stress cause it to be late? Hasn't that happened to you before?_

I pull my hand from his. _Yeah. Like when we were running for our lives, or when people were actively trying to kill us. _

Fang rakes a hand down his face, grabbing a cart.

I push this thought into his mind: _I don't know…what to do._

He stops in his tracks. He shoves the cart at Gazzy, who gladly takes up cart duty, and he turns to me seriously.

"We're fine," Fang says. "Max, you aren't pregnant. We're fine."

As if he has any control over it. It's laughable, how much his words calm me, even though he really has no idea. I nod, taking a deep breath. We're fine.

• • •

"Do you really need a binder for every class?" I ask Nudge, critically eyeing her school supplies list. Supply lists for high school are more like suggestions than requirements, and this girl is too organized for her own good. My school supplies are all already in the cart - two folders, two three-subject notebooks, a pack of pens, a pack of pencils, and a new calculator.

Nudge, however, needs to color-code. "Yes, I need one for each class. Each class needs it's own notebook and folder. A binder is both in one. If I put it all in one folder, I'll lose track of stuff."

Angel comes down the aisle of the store, carrying a cute, pink canvas backpack.

"What's wrong with your backpack from last year?"

"The zipper is broken," Angel says, shrugging. She drops the backpack in the cart, chomping her gum. "I need new shoes."

I scoff. "Okay, well, we'll get new clothes later. Where are the boys?"

Nudge scans her school list again, checking things off with a purple highlighter. "Fang said they were going to get Kleenexes and hand sanitizer and things."

Angel rolls her eyes, eyeing a package of sparkly colored pens. "I think it's dumb that middle school teachers put that on the supply list, but whatever."

"Grab some paper, too," I say, pointing to the shelf behind her. "About three packs of it. Do you think we have everything?"

"Yeah," Nudge says. "I think we've got it."

"Good." I take hold of the cart and steer us towards the opposite side of the store. We find the boys in the soap aisle. Fang's reviewing the list while Iggy touches random boxes to feel the colors and Gazzy smells bubble bath soaps.

"Ooh, I need shampoo!" Nudge says, snapping her fingers once. "Can I?"

"Yeah." I step toward Fang and look over his shoulder at the list. "Actually, Fang needs new body wash."

"What? Why?"

"Because, yours smells bad. And I'm the one who has to smell you all the time."

Fang looks totally affronted at this information. "Well, then I'm going to pick your body wash."

I shrug. "Fine."

I unscrew the cap on one and sniff, but it smells like some Hollister perfume or something. The next one is too fruity for Fang. Finally I come across one that smells like pine and spice and sexy. I grin and turn to him.

"I found one," I say, holding it out. Fang smells it, pondering.

"I like this one for you," Fang says shortly, holding an open bottle under my nose. I take a whiff and grin at him. What a goof.

"What?"

"Nothing," I say. "That's fine."

Fang turns to put it in the cart, along with the one I'd picked out for him, and Nudge elbows me. "Isn't that the kind you _already _use?"

I snort. "Yep."

**A/N: Sorry about any typos. Goodnight. **


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: I read _Maximum Ride Forever_. **

**And…then I wrote a lost chapter for it. Still editing. Still deciding. It's all a process - we'll see it someday.**

**As for talking about it…I don't know how to talk about it yet. I can't get my thoughts together. So, PM me if you want to talk. As long as you lay out some talking points, I might be able to formulate actual coherent comments. Let's chat! **

**Guest: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Thank you for being my 400th review! **

**DntlessAnnabeth: Yeah, Fang has his moments. Haha! Thank you. **

**Fyre and Water: I'm so humbled that you love it so much! **

**FaxFiction: I don't think you're a creeper! Have you seen my reviews on your stories? _Gawd_. *blushes* I worked really hard on that scene, honestly. It's harder than it seems to coherently write a scene that the character isn't experiencing all-so coherently. (If that made any sense.) I felt a little shaky about posting it, but I'm glad no one thinks I'm a nasty pervert or anything. Glad you liked that they woke up, haha! As for the pregnancy - you'll see. It's the summer before their senior year right now, so it's a bit too early. (When they graduate, Max is around three months pregnant.) But, good news! We will see a bit more of Max's pregnancy than everyone seems to anticipate. And, spoiler, we **_**will **_**see a Val-chat about it. I'm excited. Very fun stuff indeed. Which, AS I KEEP SAYING, is why the time skips are in order! Haha! Thank you so much for the thoughtful review! I wait in baited breath for the verdict on each chapter every time. **

**Awesomealpha11: Honestly, girl, I was considering it. When I was having one of my mental breakdowns, worrying how I'd ever fit all my material into one story, I started contemplating making a part 2 that deals with Max's pregnancy and whatnot. But it wouldn't work. And…I don't know, I feel like that's **_**really **_**dragging out a story. Don't worry, though! If your interested in that kind of plot, yet with some other twists, sit back and relax. It's coming. Promise. Thank you for the review! And you're right, the idea of Fang just in awe over Tyler is kind of tear-jerking. I'll try my best to give you that. ;)**

**Kateflowrchild13: Yeah. It was a quick read. Your OTP! Oh, honey. I'm so sorry he did that to you! As soon as I read that, I thought of you. Crazy enough. As for the rest of the book…yeah. Most of the time, I was thinking either, "Max, YOU'RE FIFTEEN FREAKING YEARS OLD," or "Why are all the flock members complete assholes now? What the actual hell?" Other than that, I'd have to say that I kind of loved some parts, and JP really did clear up some things that had bothered me. I just…I wish he'd keep writing the series forever, just to clean it all up and leave no mysteries. (Also, I'm glad you loved the chapter. You rock. Thanks for the review!)**

**LOSERSLOVEREADIN: Oh, wow, your username is so urgent this time! Haha. I AM GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU JUST TOLD ME HOW OLD YOU ARE. Woman, you are lucky that I've already written most of the smut for this story, because I don't know how I would continue writing it knowing I was corrupting someone. (Which isn't fair of me, when I was fourteen I knew a lot of shit I shouldn't have, too - plus, I don't think my stuff is the worst thing you could stumble upon). Don't take that the wrong way, either. I love you as a friend and a fanfiction buddy, and I seriously cherish you for reviewing so religiously! Anyways, I totally know that struggle. That was my life when Fang came out. My parents refused to take me to get it. Then my dad drove me all the way out to **_**Barnes and Noble**_**, and it wasn't there and he was pissed. So I had to wait until it came to Walmart. The struggle is real! Talk to me once you've read it, though. It's…well, it's interesting. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Aw, thanks. I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, Fang pretty much decides to totally rule out that possibility. But you're right - it doesn't work that way. Haha! Thanks for the review. **

**Nola96: Thank you! I don't think I can write a 100% romantic, smut story because these characters, in my eyes, are too big of goofballs to completely be romantic and smutty. Like, Max's mind will always have that sassy, dorky commentary in the background. And Fang always says the weirdest shit. I'm still glad you liked it, and that you thought it had balance. Sometimes I struggle with that, if you can't tell. As for the question about the pregnancy, you'll see. Like I said above, it's a little too early in the timeline. And actually, the way they get Tyler is a little bit more fun. ;) You'll see! And as for MRF…Gah! PM me. I don't know how to organize all my thoughts on it right now, but I agree with you. It was quite better than the last two. I just… some things did bother me. I got your hint, missy. Haha! We'll see…**

**Jenni: Gah. Yeah, as I said above…it was better than the last two. I agree completely with your review! If you wanna talk, PM me. I'd love to book-talk it with you. Thanks for the review!**

**400 REVIEWS. HOLY SHIT. Thank you so much guys. **

**READ ON.**

MAX

I've never ever been so relieved to get a visit from Aunt Flo.

I send my gratitude to whatever higher presence is watching out for me and my sanity while I dig through the cabinet in Aaron's bathroom, hoping to get lucky. Of course, this is Aaron's bathroom, so there are no tampons. I should really think about stocking up here, just in case of times like these.

My options are asking Mrs. Camp for something or rummaging through his sister's bathroom. Mrs. Camp is great and fine, but if I don't have to verbally ask for girl shit then I won't, so I wordlessly leave the bathroom in the basement and head for the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Where's your sister's bathroom?"

"What?" Aaron asks, looking up from the game of cards he and Fang are playing. Iggy's over in the corner, tampering with Aaron's keyboard. "Why?"

"Because," I say patiently, making meaningful eye contact with my boyfriend for a second. "I need girl things."

Iggy snickers, playing a deep _dun, dun, dunnn _on Aaron's keyboard. Aaron's nose wrinkles and he looks back at the game. "Door across from my room."

I glance at Fang once more, who's face seems to be wearing the same expression it had five minutes ago. He thinks to me, _Told you. _

I squint at him. He's projecting. When I actually dig into his thoughts, though, they're full of _Thank God. What the hell would we have done? _I roll my eyes.

That sounds about right.

_You don't have to pretend, _I think with amusement. _I'm just as relieved as you are. _

_I'm really psyched you're on your period. Happy?_

_Sadist. _

_I know you are but what am I?_

I snicker to myself, moving into the sky blue bathroom across the hall from Aaron's room. It's organized - first hint that Aaron never comes in here. I open the cabinet under the sink and find exactly what I'm looking for.

_Okay, evacuate from my mind unless you want to be scarred for life, _I think to Fang jokingly.

_Duly noted. _

When I get back downstairs, Aaron is saying, "-only like thirty minutes from here, a big camp out."

"What's going on?" I ask, plopping down on the couch.

"Camping. Wanna go?" Aaron asks shortly.

"Yeah, that'd be fun."

"Cool. We'll leave at like six-"

"Wait, tonight?" I say, looking at him in surprise. Aaron starts shuffling the deck of cards, nodding.

"Yeah. It's not that far away. Just one night."

I narrow my eyes. "Who all is going?"

Aaron sits back against the couch, shrugging. "I don't know. Most of the team, uh-"

"Nu-uh. Nope. The entire douchey soccer team is going to be there? No."

"Hey, watch it," Iggy says. "Aaron is apart of that douchey soccer team."

I roll my eyes. Aaron, though, powers on. "Max, come on. They aren't that bad. Plus, if Fang's going to be on the team next year we might as we start team bonding early."

"Well how do you know Fang's going to make the team?"

Aaron literally _laughs _at me.

Right.

"Fine," I mumble. "Is it seriously me and a bunch of dudes? Maybe I should just stay home."

"A bunch of dudes and whatever girls they bring," Aaron says, shrugging. "Come on."

"Fine. Fang, I thought you were going to do baseball," I say.

Aaron makes a noise of protest. "Don't talk him out of this! Baseball is spring, soccer is fall. He can do both."

I roll my eyes.

"Fine. Let's go camping."

The next two hours are a flurry of gathering the bare minimum of supplies and packing up the car. I let Mom know that we're going out for the night, just in case there are any problems. Especially because Holden is coming with us, and Nudge will be in charge. She promises that all Nudge has to do is call and she'll be over.

We drive out the forest that we'd discovered as soon as we moved out here. Up in the cliffs is our cave, and I elbow Fang, looking upwards toward it with a smirk. He thinks, _Later. _

The look on Ella's face when Iggy throws her into the lake is priceless.

I watch her bob up in the water, completely furious, and laugh. I'm sitting on the bed of some kid's truck, watching the sun go down over the lake. Some kids are setting up tents, but our little group is up for sleeping under the stars tonight. Next to me on the truck bed, there's a cooler full of Jell-O shots. Fang grabs a red one and looks like a total goof swallowing it.

"Good?"

"Tastes like a Jolly Rancher," Fang says. He hands me a blue one. "Try it."

I tilt my head back, but the Jell-O doesn't budge. Fang takes another one and shows me. "Just, swirl your tongue around. It'll come."

I just stare at him. "I guess you just have more practice than I do."

Fang shrugs, grinning. "Guess so."

Despite the very inappropriate that's-what-she-said joke, I focus long enough to take his advice. I swirl my tongue around the Jell-O in the little plastic cup, unsticking it. The Jell-O slides down my throat and I barely taste it before I swallow it. It's blue raspberry. After trying all four flavors, I decide that the blue ones are my favorite. And after about six of those, I'm very, very friendly.

Aaron takes one look at me and says, "Jake's girlfriend doubled the alcohol in the blue ones."

Fang looks at me. "Oops. We'll be back."

I run ahead of him, down the clear opening of the field. I fling out my wings and shoot into the air, feeling the rush that comes along with being free from the ground. Fang's right behind me. I land clumsily in our cave, stumbling a little. Fang swoops in behind me, bringing his wings in to fit through the crevasse in the rock, and slides his arms around me. He's still breathing slightly heavily from the flight and he says in my ear in a rush of breath, "You're drunk."

"_You're _glad I'm not pregnant," I say.

Fang raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I am."

We curl up on the rock platform. "Fang?" I ask drowsily, playing with his fingers.

He doesn't answer, but I know he's listening, so I ask, "Do you want kids?"

Fang doesn't really think about it for very long. "Yes."

"How many?"

"Three," Fang says softly. I smile at that.

"Why three?"

"Because we've raised four, and that's fucking _hell_."

I laugh, laying my cheek on his shoulder.

"So, you weren't against the idea of a _kid_. You were against the idea of a kid at _seventeen_?"

"Why do you _always _want to talk about serious things when you're drunk?" Fang sighs. "A kid is a scary idea, period."

"Okay, but-"

"We aren't even done with high school yet, Max."

"I know," I say. "I was just as scared at you were, Fang. I just…was it _that_, or was it that you don't think _you're _ready for a kid?" I look up at him with all the seriousness I have. "And I don't mean age-wise."

Fang sighs. He looks at me as if he can't believe we're actually talking about this now, in the middle of the night while I'm a little more than tipsy.

"Sometimes I don't feel as good as I should," Fang says quietly. I lean back against him and let him tell me, his breath on my shoulder. "Sometimes it's hard getting out of bed, or feeling safe, or ignoring the memories. I still…I still see it so clearly, sometimes."

I nod.

"I want to be…a little better before we deal with anything big. It was scary, thinking about a kid right now."

"Tell me about it," I murmur.

We lounge there for a while after that, holding each other and talking. After maybe an hour we head back. He guides me to the bonfire and we sit down on a log. I lean against him, watch as pictures take form and dance in the fire. A group of girls have started roasting marshmallows. Someone's playing music out of their car, and kids are scattered throughout the clearing, laughing and talking.

Later, I start to get tired. Fang's fingers are stroking my thigh. Holden dares Iggy to skinny dip in the lake, and he does because he's a drunk idiot. Ella begs him, through laughter, to keep his boxers on, so he does. He comes back, shivering with blue lips, but smiling triumphant while everyone smacks on his shoulder with big whoops and grins.

Fang kisses me, which leads to me kissing him back, with more fervor. I nibble his earlobe and Fang warns me not to start anything I can't finish. I tell him I'm more than willing to finish it, any way he wants me to, and then Fang decides it's time to cut off every drink but water.

Towards the end of the night, Aaron and I argue.

"You don't get to sleep next to Fang because I don't trust your drunk ass," Aaron says, laying out his sleeping bag.

"Aaron!" I say dramatically. "I'm on my period. We aren't going to do anything."

Apparently, that is louder than I intended, because Aaron shushes me violently, his ears turning red. A couple guys over by the fire laugh.

"Plus, Fang gets handsy in his sleep!"

In the end, Fang and I win out. I'm between Aaron and Fang, in our line of sleepers. Holden is between Aaron and Ig. Ella is trusted to sleep by Iggy, which I think is a little generous, but I'll let it slide.

Besides, she has better morals than me.

**A/N: Sorry it's short. Review!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I hope it's up to par. I'm going to be honest, when I wrote the this chapter, I actually rolled dice to see what they'd do. AND NO, I don't own a pair of sex dice. Get off my back. **

**Thank you to all the wonderful reviewers. I love you all! You have no idea what your comments mean to me. **

**Unfortunately I don't have time to respond to each review separately this time. Sorry! And if you're waiting on a PM response, I promise I'll hurry. **

**Enjoy! (Sorry for typos. If you see any glaring mistakes, let me know. Thanks!)**

**M warning: Sex dice. **

MAX

The next two months are full of learning.

Not because school starts in August and we're "learning" things there. I'm talking about life-learning. The _real _kind.

For instance.

Fang and I learn that "private time" is a myth. It does not exist, especially not in a house like ours. Since dream-sex makes things harder than normal - I told Fang that joke and he punched me - we get desperate. And, like I'd told Ella, creative. The cave becomes a frequent place for us to stop during our night flights. We have a blanket out there, and that's really all we need. Other than that, we start waking up early just to spend time together. And I'm talking, like, five am. Not so hard for Fang, who still hasn't found a regular sleeping pattern. I, however, despise rising before the sun.

I learn how to handle Fang's nightmares better. The "you're safe" spiel is pointless. So is telling him, "It's okay, it wasn't real." Chances are, it was real. Most of his nightmares are memories. One night, Fang rolls over into me, shaking, holding me hard against him. And I just murmur, "I'm here."

That's the best thing I can do for him. I know that now.

It's not easy juggling work, school and a household of eight kids. Forget parties at Aaron's or girls' night with Ella - my schedule consists of waking up, getting the others out the door, suffering through seven hours of school, going to the bookstore in town to work for five hours, then going home and eating leftover dinner and finishing homework before bed.

Picture that schedule. Seems like a pretty average set up for your normal teenage worker, right? Now imagine me in the kitchen, quizzing Nudge on her French vocabulary words while I heat up two-day old Chinese take-out in the microwave and explain to Gazzy that no, I don't agree that he should get to use the TV in my room for his science fair project.

I bet I have high blood pressure by now.

"No," I say for the millionth time. Gazzy follows me across the kitchen, determination set on his face.

"Max!" Gazzy complains. "You're preventing me from becoming a great scientist! How will I ever be the next Alan Turing if you hold me down?"

I raise an eyebrow. "How about you destroy some of your own valuables every once in a while, huh?"

"Valuables?" Gazzy demands. "Really? Iggy says you don't even watch your TV - it's just there for background noise."

Nudge snorts behind me. I narrow my eyes at Gazzy. "Iggy is an ass. And my final answer is _no_."

Gazzy watches me for a second before turning to leave the room. I call after him through a mouth full of noodles, "And don't even try getting a different answer from Fang!" I sit down at the table across from Nudge and say, without missing a beat, "To allow."

Nudge thinks for a second. "_Permettre_."

"Good. To read?"

"_Lire_."

"…Fish? What's the theme of this week's list?"

"_Le poisson_. The theme is food. Things in a restaurant, things on a menu. Stuff like that."

I nod, taking another bite of food. "Water?"

"_L'eau_."

"That's how you say that? Why is the word for water so complicated?"

Nudge shrugs.

"Okay, let's finish these. Then I need a shower."

"Yeah," Nudge agrees. "When's the last time you washed your hair?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I say, and she laughs. "Ice cream?"

"_Glace_. _Une glace_," Nudge says with flourish. "Ice cream sounds really good right now."

"It's, like, ten thirty," I say, shaking my head. "No one under this roof needs sugar that late."

"Max, why did you tell Gazzy I'm an ass?" Iggy asks, walking into the kitchen. He passes us at the table and goes to the refrigerator.

"Because you are," I say. "No snacks. Go to bed. It's almost eleven. Okay, Nudge: to eat."

"_Manger_," Nudge says. "Or, what Iggy's doing. That's sugar. No sugar this late, Ig. Didn't you hear the new rule?"

Iggy comes into view with a plate consisting of two slices of chocolate pie in his hand. He sits next to Nudge. "First of all, I made it, so I can eat it whenever I want. Second of all, I got you a piece, so chill." Nudge grins and takes the extra fork.

I hear the front door open and close down the hall, and Fang comes into the kitchen. He shrugs off his jacket.

"Hey," I say, tilting my head up for a kiss. He drops one on my lips, then points to my dinner. "Is there more of that? I'm starving."

"Yeah, I left you half. In the box in the fridge. Nudge, to be thirsty."

Iggy snorts. "Fang, all the time."

"Good one," Fang says sarcastically, dumping the paper box of leftovers onto a plate.

Nudge looks at me. "I don't get it."

I shake my head dismissively. "You aren't supposed to. To be thirsty."

"_Avoir soif." _

"Good. How was work?"

"Fine," Fang says. "Val wants us to help her with the fundraisers next month."

"Really? Where? Pepper," I say flipping up the notecard for her.

"_Le poivre_," Nudge says, turning to look at Fang. "Is it somewhere cool? Like, Italy? Or Spain? Or-"

"It's an hour away, in the city. Nothing huge, just interviews and speeches and stuff."

"Lame," Nudge says. "But we should still do it. Wait, was that the last one?"

"Yup," I say, setting the stack on the table in front of her. "You'll ace it. We can study again tomorrow. You were born to speak French."

"_Je vous remercie, Madame_," Nudge says, grinning. "I think it sounds good, don't you? I've been working on my accent."

"Sounds great," Iggy says, shoveling a piece of pie into his mouth. "Night, Nudge."

"Night!"

I look at Iggy. "Aren't you going to bed, too?"

"El's supposed to call me."

I rest my chin in my hand, grinning. "Can't go to bed without calling El first? So _cute_."

"Well, yeah. Since my girlfriend doesn't hog my covers every night, I do occasionally talk to her on the phone. Night," he says, heading upstairs. I look at Fang.

"I don't hog the covers."

Fang just looks at me like, _You kind of do_.

I gape at him. _Since when? _I reach over a steal a bite, and he hits my hand away. "You had your own. And since forever."

"Well, it's not my fault! You're a freaking space heater - like _you _need all the covers?"

Fang rolls his eyes, finishing off his food. "How was work at the bookstore?"

"Fine. We had, like, ten customers today. I was shelving all day, though, so I didn't get much homework done."

"I got mine done today, after I worked on the newsletter," Fang says.

"Aw, you studious little bastard," I mumble, kissing his cheek. "You coming up?"

"Yeah. Gimme a second."

I'm sitting in our bed, working on my math homework when Fang finally comes into our room. He shuts the door quietly and gets ready for bed, then sits next to me.

"Trig?"

"I hate it," I grumble. "Math sucks."

"Do you need help?"

I glower. "No. I'm done for tonight. It's not due until Monday." I turn to look at him. "You can tutor me later."

He hums, watching me as I crawl off the bed and pick up my notes and my math book. I pile my homework on the desk and turn off the light, returning to bed. I wiggle up next to him, sighing.

"Holden was just coming inside when I was coming upstairs," Fang says. "Where's he been?"

"He had a date," I say, shrugging.

Fang nods. His fingers dance over my waist, pulling me into him. He watches me, his face thoughtful. Something's on his mind. Yet, when I go to dig, he's got it under lock and key.

"What?" I ask. "Something up?"

Fang shakes his head, shifting so he's halfway on top of me. "It'll be fine."

"You can tell me," I say gently. "I'm here."

He gently pushes my knee, and I spread my legs for him. "I'm well aware," he grumbles into my neck. I laugh, but he doesn't. He doesn't grin, he doesn't roughly pin me down or play around or anything.

Everything he does tonight is _slow_.

I am breathless. And speechless. All I can do is make small sounds that I pretend aren't mine. Fang takes his time, strips me down, touches my skin reverently. He concentrates, ensures that every touch is perfect and that I'm still into it. He spends a lot of time building me up so that when he's _finally _inside me, I'm already so, so close.

When he's completely inside me, Fang curls himself around me and just holds me there for a second. He looks at me, touches my cheek and my neck. He closes his eyes, kisses my mouth.

_I love you, _Fang thinks. I gasp out a cry. He starts to move, slowly and deliberately, and I think, _I know, baby. _

This is unlike anything we've ever done before. The first time…God, the first time, I was so nervous. I'd just gotten him back, and the relief that he was alive and in my arms had made me insane with need. I'd needed him. I'd needed to know that he was okay, that he was real. Of course it wasn't perfect, but it was beautiful. And though I wouldn't change it for the world, it wasn't like this.

Our first time was quick. Full of fumbles and accidents and _holy shit do that again_ and _I've missed you so, so, so much. _This is not that.

This is Fang, finding his home inside me. This is Fang promising me the world without a single spoken word. This is the quietest, most passionate love we've ever made. I'm lost in him.

He never speeds up. He never says anything but my name, and he never reaches down between us to help me out. He slowly brings me to the edge, and just as slowly pushes me over it. My mouth falls open and he cups his hand over my lips, but I don't make a sound other than a small gasp. It's not the most earth-shattering orgasm, but it's an unforgettable one. My heart pounds and my toes curl and I breathe, "I love you, I love you so much."

My heart beats abnormally fast long after we're finished. Fang takes care of the condom and slips his shirt over my head, and now we lay quietly together.

"Do you know what day it is?"

I rub my nose against his chest. "Friday?"

"Saturday. September third," Fang says, nodding at the clock. It's just past midnight. His fingers drag up my back. "How's it feel to be eighteen?"

I smile against his skin. I hadn't expected anyone to remember - I barely had. "I feel amazing," I say softly. "But I'm not sure how much of that has to do with what day it is."

• • •

I wake up drowsily, lying on top of Fang. I open my eyes, see him looking up at me, wide awake, and roll off him.

"I'm going back to bed."

"Oh, no you don't," Fang says, following me and rolling on top of me. He kisses my lips quickly while I squirm. "Morning, birthday girl."

"Mornin'," I mumble. "Lemme sleep, Fang. Please."

He shakes his head. "They'll be up with breakfast soon."

I groan, running my hands down my face. I sigh, looking up at him finally. My voice is still thick with sleep when I say, "Okay. Is this the part where you go down on me while singing _Happy Birthday _in my head?"

Fang raises his eyebrows. "Is it?"

"Did you get me a present?" I counter.

Fang grins. "No."

I grab a fistful of his hair and nudge him downwards. "Get to work."

Fang looks about ready to do it, until his eyes flash. "I have a better idea."

"Better for who?" I grumble. Fang leans over to reach in the drawer by our bed. He comes back with a small bag.

"The sex dice? Right now?"

Fang grins, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. "Why not?"

"You said it yourself! They'll be up here any minute," I say nervously, glancing at the door. Fang's in his boxers and I'm in his t-shirt. He sits back on his heels, holding the small bag in his hand, watching me in anticipation.

"Fine. But we have to be quiet. If we hear anyone on the stairs, we have to play innocent."

Fang nods, ripping the bag open.

"Okay, let's see 'em," I say, grabbing one of the dice. It's the action one. The sides read: lick, tease, suck, kiss, nibble and stroke.

"Oh, god, we should not play this right now," I say. "What does yours say?"

Fang grins, turning the body part die over in his hand. "There's a _partner's choice _side."

I laugh, grabbing it. I exchange it for the action die. Lips, sex, partner's choice, face, chest, and inner thighs.

"What are the rules?" I ask, fluffing up the pillows behind me.

"Rules?"

"Yeah. Like, how long do we do each action?"

Fang rolls his eyes. "We'll just go with it. And no chickening out." He gives me a serious look at that one. I grin back.

"Who goes first?"

"I guess I can, since it's your birthday," Fang says, scooting back a little. He rolls the action dice first, and it lands on the sheets between us. The word _tease _stares back up at us. I curl my toes into the sheets tangled around my feet. I'm going to _lose it_.

He rolls the body part die, and we wait with baited breath until it lands on _lips. _I frown. Not what I was expecting. How is anyone supposed to tease my mouth?

Fang scoops up the dice and moves them aside, crawling over to me. I rest my head back against the pillows, closing my eyes.

"If you want to roll again," I start, but Fang puts his thumb on my lips.

"No re-rolling."

His thumb runs over my bottom lip, making it jut out. My lips part subconsciously for him. Fang kisses the corner of my mouth slowly, his lips softly suckling at the edge of my bottom lip. I gasp under him, letting my fingers roam over his skin while he slowly drags his lips over mine. With gentle brush after gentle brush of his lips, I start getting restless. When he finally slips his tongue over my lip, I groan, pushing his shoulders and making him sit up. I follow, pushing him again until he's on his back. I crawl onto him, grabbing the dice and shaking them both in my closed fists.

I let them roll on his chest. He stares up at me, smirking lopsidedly. "What's the verdict."

I grin back at him, sweeping the dice off his chest. "Let's just get right to it." With that, I yank down his boxers.

I push his knees apart a bit, so I can kneel between his legs. As my head gets lower and lower towards him, I can hear him groan hotly. I hold back my laugh.

Fang's really a piece of work. I don't mean that sarcastically - he's kind of gorgeous. If I ever told him that out loud, he'd probably punch me or something, but… looking at him, all of him, just kind of takes my breath away. Especially from this angle.

I make sure to drag out the action of moving my lips closer to his erection. When I can't drag it out anymore, and Fang's fingers are twisting in my hair in anticipation, I lean in a give his length a hot, sucking kiss. I flick out my tongue once just to be evil.

When I sit up, Fang's fingers fall from my hair limply. He stares at me in shock.

"That's it?" he asks gruffly.

"Sorry, babe. It just said kiss."

Fang groans. "Fuck. Okay. My turn."

Fang's the first unlucky player to get _partner's choice_, much to my happiness. He rolls the action die and it lands on lick.

I grin. Without saying a word, I reach down and roll the die over until it shows the word _sex_. Fang rolls his eyes. A second later, he's holding my legs in the air, slowly fucking me with his tongue while I hold my own hand over my mouth. He's a fucking sadist, no matter what anyone says. His tongue should be illegal. Fang retreats, and I look down at him.

"Keep going," I whisper, panting.

"I think I took an extra long turn," Fang says, wiping his mouth. "You can skip my next turn. To be fair."

I laugh, stealing the little red dice from their spot on the bed. I throw them down.

That. Lucky. Bastard.

"Stroke partner's choice," he reads, smirking. "Hmmm. What should I make you stroke?"

"Shut up," I grumble, leaning over to reach into our sex drawer. I pour some of the lube into my hand and grab him, scooting closer. I'm sitting between his legs. He sits in front of me, a little hunched over, groaning as I work my hand on him. I watch him, enjoying it more than I'll ever admit out loud. He's so lost in the feeling of my hand on him right now. I get a little edgier in my movements, twisting my hand on the upstroke and running my thumb over the tip. Fang's eyes open and he leans forward, pushing his mouth to mine. We kiss, his mouth going almost slack against mine as I continue to stroke his cock. I bite his bottom lip to kind of wake him up again, and he slides his tongue into my mouth. When I think he's getting too close, I slow my hand down and slacken my grip.

"Fuck, this game sucks," Fang groans, scooping the dice up. I wipe off my hand on the sheet, watching him roll.

Nibble. Inner thighs.

It's not sexy, it just tickles. Fang has to hold my feet down by his sides so I don't kick him, and my ass wiggles against the bed as his teeth nip gently at the sensitive skin of my thighs. I giggle uncontrollably, begging him to stop. He deserts the nibbling technique and just starts sucking, probably leaving a hardcore love bite down there.

I grab the dice and look at it deliriously, trailing my toes over his back. "No where on here does it say _bruise_."

"I think it's implied," Fang says, kissing up and down my thigh. He sits up, sits back. It's my turn. I lean up on my elbow and shake the dice, letting them drop on my flat stomach. I see the action die says _Lick._ I crane my neck to read the body part die.

"Face? Ew, no. I'm not licking your face." I reach down for the dice again, but Fang sweeps them away. They roll off the bed.

"Hey!" I protest.

Fang lays down over me, bringing the comforter with him. He wraps us in a nice warm cocoon, then says, "You have to do it. No re-rolling."

I look at him, aghast. "I'm not licking your face."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "You'll suck my cock, but you won't lick my face?"

I blush. "Yes."

Fang wrestles with my hands until he gets a hold of both of my wrists. "You have to do it."

"Fang! No," I laugh, wiggling away from him.

"It's the rules," Fang says sternly. He stretches my arms up above my head, moving his face closer. "I'm not letting you go until you lick my face."

"No!"

"Lick my face."

"No, Fang, get off!"

"Max, you have to do it."

"I don't want to lick your face!"

"Do it or I'm never letting you get up. Lick my face. Do it."

Laughing my ass off, I stick my tongue out and drag it up his face, over his lips and nose and between his eyes. I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying. I can feel Fang's chest move against mine with silent chortling.

"What the fuck?"

I gasp, looking at the doorway through my tears.

"Gazzy!" I cry through my laughter. "Watch your mouth!"

"Me? _Me_? Seriously?" The look on the Gasman's face right now is priceless. With his eyes wide and his eyebrows pinched, I know we just scarred him for life. "We're downstairs, making your birthday breakfast, and you two are up here doing God knows what! Licking each others faces!"

Fang's whole body shakes with laughter. His face is on the pillow next to mine, in my hair.

"Gazzy-"

"No," he says, totally upset. "Just no."

He leaves, and the door closes firmly behind him. Fang and I give each other one look. Then we're laughing again, until neither of us can breathe.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: I love you guys, you guys are wonderful. I suck because I don't have review answers typed up, but I figured you guys wanted the chapter more than me blabbering forever. **

**This chapter did not want to get finished. This chapter was a struggle. This chapter would not be possible without Sia, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and the six **_**bullshit **_**drafts before this. **

**Read on. **

MAX

My birthday starts with ice cream cake and ends with barbeque in the backyard. It's just the flock all day, hanging out and having fun. Aaron brings the ice cream cake for breakfast (which pisses off the kids, because they'd slaved over my birthday breakfast for hours, and of course I chose chocolate ice cream cake over omelets) and Mom mixes up a spicy, delicious barbeque sauce for Ig's burgers.

Anyways, it's a great day. One of the first days we've had to relax and just have fun, since Fang came home and senior year started. Every day after my birthday is a blur of chaotic goodness. That's the best way I can describe it. It feels like we've all found our grooves, and our lives are nuts, but _good _nuts. Things aren't constantly going downhill, and Fang and I don't fumble nearly as much. For the majority of senior year, our lives are good. We're busy and exhausted and a little stressed sometimes, and petty little shit causes problems here and there for all of us, but really, nothing big happens. Nothing slams our lives to a stop or anything. Nothing flips our worlds upside fast enough to cause nausea.

Until I start getting nauseous.

"Screw this."

After hours of tossing and turning next to a more-or-less peaceful Fang, I throw the covers off and stand up. It's a night in mid-March and I'm sleepless. My stomach is rolling and my entire body is covered in sweat.

It's almost morning. The sky outside is just beginning to come to life. I flip the lock on the window on my side of the bed and throw it open, letting the chilly morning air gust in. I'm only in a tank top and underwear, so the coolness washes over my body, making the hairs on my arms stick up. I run my hands up and down my arms, closing my eyes.

The splintering sound of wood scraping against wood wakes Fang up, and I hear him groan and roll over to look at me. I focus on my breathing, keeping it even and slow, hoping the nausea will pass soon. It's four in the morning, and I want to try to get some kind of sleep before school.

"What?" Fang asks, his voice gruff and husky from sleep.

"Nothing," I say, not looking at him, wrapping my arms around myself. I turn around, lift my hair over one shoulder, and let the cool breeze lick my overheated neck. "I'm fine. Go back to bed."

Fang sighs, rolling onto his back. He lays in silence.

When I feel like I have my stormy stomach under control, I close the window, lock it firmly, and crawl back into bed. Fang shivers against me, letting out a harsh breath.

"Fuck, you're freezing."

"Mmm, sorry," I mumble, pushing closer to him. His hot skin against mine is comforting. "I don't feel good."

I feel Fang's chest moving up and down calmly with each breath and close my eyes. His fingers stroke lightly up my back for a while. When I start shifting against him again, he blinks tiredly, trying to stay away for me.

"It's okay," I say quietly, trying not to breathe. "I…I need to go throw up. I'm okay. I'll just…feel better."

I push out of bed slowly and stand still for a second, my feet on the warm plush carpet. I breathe in through my nose. My stomach seems to have heard my decision, and it just _cannot wait_.

"Max?"

If I answer him I'm going to barf. Instead, I move out of the room and quietly lock myself in the bathroom, where I proceed to bring up dinner and dessert and everything else in my stomach. At first I try not to make those horrible, unflattering retching sounds that come with the territory, but then I gave up. Getting sick _sucks_.

I sit back on my heels, wiping my mouth with a wad of toilet paper. Once I'm convinced that I'm done, I flush and turn on the sink. I cup water in my hand, rinse my mouth, and then take a drink. After a quick swish with mouthwash, I leave the bathroom and go back to my room.

Fang's nearly asleep. I crawl in next to him tiredly and sigh, closing my eyes.

"Okay now?" he murmurs, pulling on my hip. I roll with him, until I'm lying against him again.

I exhale slowly. "Yeah."

• • •

One time isn't a big deal. Four? Four times is a big deal. Two weeks later I'm sitting in the kitchen, trying not to breathe in the suddenly-horrid smell of bacon when Iggy plops down a plateful right in front of me.

"What's wrong with you? Eat up."

"Not hungry," I say shortly.

Ig laughs. "Good one."

I shove the plate away, standing up. Fang is watching me suspiciously.

_Do you feel okay?_

I block him out. It's the first time I've done it in a long time, and my eyes prick hotly at the realization. I don't know what's happening, but I'm miserable. I feel wrong in my own skin. Fang knows about the first time I got sick, but not the three times after that. And this morning I had to fly up to the roof and do focused breathing exercises to keep the contents of my stomach down.

I don't want him to worry about me, especially if it's nothing. But since this horrible sick feeling isn't going away, and I've never felt this way before…I don't know what to do.

"Fine," I answer aloud, trying to be nonchalant. "I'm heading to school early. I have to make up a quiz."

Lie, lie and lie.

I'm the worst.

I get in the air and immediately feel nauseous. The nasty feeling of being that girl, the one that has to land in the woods to puke her guts up, only lasts for about thirty minutes. The nasty feeling that something is wrong with me lasts all day.

Fang eventually finds me sulking in the cave.

"Hey."

"Hi," I barely say out loud. I don't look at him or really move, which I think freaks him the hell out.

"Leaving a note would've been great," he says lightly, trying to make some kind of sarcastic joke. "I mean, it would've saved me from a heart attack."

I frown, chewing on my lip. I have no idea what time it is, but I know they all must've been confused when I didn't come home from school. I'd detoured on the way home, telling Nudge and the others in the air with me that I was going to Mom's. I can only guess that Mom hadn't backed up my story when hit with the inquiry.

"You knew where I was."

I think if I weren't so obviously upset about something, he would've argued with that statement. He sits next to me, crossing his long legs, and looks at me.

"What's wrong?"

Just those two words set me off. Asking that out loud makes it real. There's something wrong with me. Noticeably wrong - Fang knows, I know, the whole fucking world probably does. My heart starts doing that weird thing where it speeds up and my fingers wring the shit out of each other.

"Fang, will you do something for me?"

He hesitates. "What?"

"Will you check me? My…neck?"

His entire face pales. The blood drains from his cheeks and he looks so, so not amused. This isn't some little thing anymore, this is scary. He's scared. It makes me feel worse, but I have to know. And…if I'm being honest…I'm not brave enough to check myself with a mirror. It's too scary to face alone. Just thinking about it brings the chronic nausea back.

"You're freaking me out, Max," Fang says quietly. "What's going on?" His fingers grab my chin when I try to look away and he makes me look at him.

I push him away. "I don't _know_, okay? Please just do it." My voice shakes a little as I say it.

He does it quickly. He turns me around and flips my hair over my shoulder without preamble, and he waits. He waits so long that fear holds my heart and I can barely breathe. Then I feel his lips softly against my skin, his hot breath making the hairs on my neck stand up. He squeezes my hip.

"Fuck, Max," he groans, his lips leaving small kisses down my neck. "What kind of sick joke was that? I was seriously freaked out for a second."

"…Nothing?" I exhale in disbelief.

"Nothing," Fang says, his hands gripping my hips and pulling me into his arms. I sigh, sinking back against him. At least I'm not dying. God. At least I'm not dying.

At least, not of my expiration date.

"Why do you think you're dying?" Fang murmurs against my shoulder, his fingers folding with mine.

I take in a breath and shut my eyes. His body is warm against mine and comforting, despite my current state of terror.

"I wasn't going to tell you, because I wasn't sure what was going on. I thought I'd just eaten something bad. But it won't stop, and I figured if I was falling apart, maybe my body was shutting down or something," I end in a whisper, since the idea still upsets me.

Fang starts to rock us side to side, slowly and comfortingly. I close my eyes and relax against him, feeling his lips softly press against my cheek. "What won't stop?"

I reach up, putting my hand around his neck. I rub my fingers against his neck muscles. "I keep getting sick."

Fang waits a moment. "How many times so far?"

"Four," I mumble, peeking at him through one slightly open eyelid. "I don't…know what's wrong with me."

"Max…" He trails off, then takes a breath. "Do you think, maybe, you're pregnant?"

And with that word, the blood in my veins freezes. I look at him and push into his head, unable to help myself. He's had a hunch. He's noticed the little things. The loss of appetite, the trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night that I thought he'd been asleep for. The hot flashes. The way my internal clock seemed to totally reverse itself.

Fang…Fang thinks…

"Oh, my _God_," I whimper. "Do you think?"

I don't even have to ask. I know he does. I look at him and know that he thinks I am, that he's been wondering for about a week now. _The signs are there, _Fang thinks. _She hasn't been herself, and what else can possibly explain all of those symptoms, plus vomiting?_

"Makes sense," Fang says carefully, his eyes on mine.

I want to tell him he's wrong. I want to tell him there's a less scary, simpler answer to my situation. All I manage is, "But we use protection."

Fang's eyes soften. I'm not about to blame him for this (if this is what we think it is) but I mean, we use condoms. We're proactive about being safe.

"Sometimes," Fang says, pinching my hip gently.

He's right. Fuck, he's right.

My mind is racing, a million thoughts and fears taking over. I don't answer Fang, I don't say anything to take control of the situation like I normally would, so Fang sighs.

"Let's wait a week, see what happens. If you're still getting sick…"

I nod slowly, still trying to hold off my own petrified reactions to this possibility. "Fang, if I am…?"

Fang shoves his hand through his hair roughly, and then pulls me close. "There are options."

It takes me a second to realize what he is saying. I gasp. "No. Just…no! Are you kidding? I can't…get an abortion."

The word makes me feel sick. It's one thing, if the child is made between two strangers, or by the product of something horrible like rape or abuse. But between to people who love each other? Two people who are engaged to each other? The idea of getting rid of our child seems so incredibly absurd to me, so disgustingly terrible. I could never live with myself, especially knowing that Fang and I love each other and plan on having children farther down the road.

"I just didn't want you to-"

"I can't do that," I say, cutting him off. I understand that he's trying to make me feel less trapped, but this alternative is not helpful. "I can't kill our kid just because we screwed up and got pregnant a few years early. Kill our baby, just to have a different one a few years down the road?"

I say it so harshly, so blatantly, that Fang flinches. "I don't want you to, either," he says with feeling. His arms are tighter around me now.

"Good, because I won't," I say quietly. _I can't_, I think.

Fang's eyes soften. "We don't know anything for sure," he says quietly. Hopefully, maybe? Or just…wishfully?

"Right," I say. "Could be stress. Or…a stomach bug. Or something."

I think he and I both know it isn't though.

Over the course of the next few days, we find ourselves in interesting situations. Wednesday, Aaron offers me a beer and Fang turns him down before I can. I glare at him, letting him know mentally that I'm not stupid. Aaron gets suspicious, I think, but doesn't push it. Thursday, I count how many times I pee in one hour - six. six times. And Friday, I nearly get sick again at school.

That's how Fang and I find ourselves here, staring down at two very simplistic, very expensive plastic sticks. I chew on my thumb nail, watching Fang. He grabs them both, hands one to me.

I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready.

But it doesn't matter.

I'm pregnant.

Ready or not.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: I just want to say thanks. You guys…are unbelievable. **

**awesomealpha11: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I had to take so dialogue directly from Consequences, but I figured it needed to be revisited. Thanks!**

**Flytothemax97: We get to see…a lot of it. I mean, there are still time skips, but you see more than you got to see in Choices or Consequences, which I think is fun. This big wrench in their life is a big part of Fang's healing process, so the last part of the story kind of revolves on that. Thank you!**

**Fyre and Water: Thank you! I love when I can, like, really get people with stuff I write. I love reading things that make me stop and read it again and be like, "Whoa, that's great." So I'm happy I could give you one of those moments. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, they have a great parenthood ahead of them. Thank you! **

**Stormchase4533: Haha, thanks! Glad you liked it. Max is tough, she'll get over it. **

**Loserslovereadin: Well, he will make an appearance! Yes, his name is Tyler, haha. Thanks dear! **

**Guest: I'm so glad you liked it! They still have a few fun times ahead before the story is finished. Thank you!**

**Hagbre5498: I'm glad you liked it! I know, I know, I can't believe this story is nearing it's end, either. I promise I have a few more chapters in store, first. And, of course, the epilogue is really, really fun. Thank you! **

**Read on!**

MAX

There's a moment that comes after you realize that you're growing a human being inside of you that is kind of numbing. Nothing feels real. You wait for the weight of the realization to hit you fully, and when it does, it kind of knocks you around a bit.

That moment has come and gone.

You don't expect life to go on like normal, but it does. And you start to realize that even though your world has just changed forever, no one else's really has.

Fang brings home prenatal vitamins and starts peer-pressuring me into telling my mom. It starts a couple nights after the discovery, while we lay in bed. It's almost ten thirty.

"I want to tell your mom."

The boys know. Angel knows. As far as I'm concerned, five people knowing about this baby is plenty. More than plenty.

"What?" I turn my head to look at him.

"We're not equipped to handle this alone," Fang says quietly. He turns on his side, facing me, and let's his wings out slowly. His fingers slide across my hips and pull me a little closer. "She'd know how to help."

"I'm not telling her. If you want to tell her you got her daughter pregnant, go right ahead." I say, leaving the unspoken threat of my mother's wrath to scare him. Fang rolls his eyes.

"Fine, I will."

I sit up, getting serious. "Fang, you will not. Stop it."

"Max, what if this is different for someone like you?"

I chew on my lip. "Mom wouldn't really know, she'd just be making educated guesses. I'll be fine."

"I think we should tell her. I want her to find out from us, not from anyone else."

He's not budging. Then again, neither am I. "We can tell her after graduation, I just…I don't want her to worry about me."

Fang stares at me, knowing that's a bullshit answer. I sigh.

"I don't want her to be upset with me."

Mom has never once voiced her disproval for my sex life with Fang, but - what mom really wants her eighteen-year-old to be in such a serious relationship? Like, could she really be _happy _about it? She's checked to make sure we were being safe, and she's told me to always be careful. Now here I am, about to tell her that I was not safe or careful, and now my entire future is changing because of it?

I can't imagine her reaction. It scares me to even think about it.

I know she'll be supportive on the outside, because she always is. But on the inside? I can't handle it if she is disappointed in me. It would break my heart.

Fang frowns.

"Fine, but you need to tell your doctor."

My gynecologist, he means. (I tried to get Fang to just say the word gynecologist once, and he refused. He's such a kid.) I'm not sure about confiding in her about this, but Fang presses on. "She can't tell your mom anything, because it's patient confidentiality. And she'll have advice for you."

I groan. "You're right."

"I know," Fang says. "Lay down."

I do, slowly, and I let him curl around me warmly and settle in to go to sleep. Fang finally passes out sometime around midnight, but I'm still wide awake.

I want to dig in his mind, find out what he's really thinking about the pregnancy, but I'm a little scared. He'll show me some parts of how he feels, of course, but not everything. He's excited - despite what he says sometimes, he _is _excited. There's something kind of breathtaking that takes over, once you realize that the person you made is a little of you and a little of your other half. Fang and I…we made another person. It's unreal, almost.

He's worried, too. About me and the baby. I feel like he always worries about me a little bit, but recently he's been showing it a lot more, voicing it. The constant _How are you feeling?_ is driving me bonkers. I think he can sense my moods sometimes, my fears and my worries, and he tries to assure me that it's alright.

On top of the worry, he's more loving. He touches me more, holds me more. He's more vocal about things, always saying sweet things to me. He's gentler - he doesn't mess around with me as much. He doesn't joke around or rough house with me anymore.

There are parts that he doesn't let me see, though. Parts that he won't show me. Like the bone-chilling fear he has at the idea of being a dad. The anger at himself that this is happening so unplanned and suddenly. The unsure, shaky feeling at having so much uncharted territory to suddenly wade through.

And, of course, deep down, fear that he's not ready. That mentally, he _can't _be a dad yet.

That's the worst one, especially because I don't know how to help.

• • •

I chicken out of three doctor's appointments before Fang makes me go. He drives me, walks in with me, sits with me while I fill out paper work, and then when Rachel asks if he wants to come with us, he looks at me, frozen.

I mean, I can't say I'm really jumping with joy that Fang's going to witness my checkup, but what can really make a gyno visit worse?

Right.

I make his decision, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet with me. Rachel puts us in a room and tells me to change, and while I strip off my clothes and pull on the papery-thin smock, Fang asks me if I'm always allowed to brings guests.

I roll my eyes. "No," I say. "She knows this isn't a normal check up. I had to tell her what kind of appointment I wanted, since I'm not really due for another one until December."

Fang just watches me. I eye my figure in the long mirror over the sink, frowning. Telling Rachel over the phone had been the most nerve-wracking experience ever. Saying it out loud, to someone other than Fang, was terrifying.

"She's the one who knows your mom?"

"Yeah, through work. She's the nurse. My doctor's name is Catherine." I lift my smock, staring critically at my tummy. "Fang?"

"I can't tell," he answers before I ask. I look at him, and the look on his face is unreadable.

"Me neither," I mumble. I lower my smock and hop up on the examination table, taking a slow breath. I hate doctor appointments. No matter how awesome Catherine is, nothing is fun about a doctor appointment.

There's a soft knock on the door, and then Catherine's bright smile is poking through the crack in the door. "Hey, there."

"Hi," I say, smiling tightly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," she says, sitting on her rolling chair. "How are you, though? You aren't due for another check up for a while. Is everything okay?"

"Um…yeah," I say carefully, glancing at Fang. His eyes are trained on me. Maybe I should've made him sit in the waiting room. "I just found out…I mean, we're ninety-nine percent sure that I'm pregnant."

Her face splits into a big grin. "How exciting! Okay, so I'm guessing you took a store-bought test, right?"

"Yeah," I say.

Cathy guides me through the boring stuff first -a urine sample, a quick blood sample, then certain tests just to check other vitals. She runs off with my stuff to get the results, and comes back smiling.

"Congratulations."

I still don't know how to react to that word yet.

I let out a long breath, smiling shakily at Fang. "Thanks."

"You're about five weeks," she says sweetly, laying my paper work on the counter. My mind immediately goes back, reliving what exactly I was doing five weeks ago, and I shut down that thought quick. There's no way I'm going to be awkwardly aroused at my gyno appointment.

Fang grins at me.

"Okay, I do want to do a checkup. I know you just had one a couple months ago, but I need to be thorough. We'll do a Pap smear, too, okay?"

Fang thinks to me, _What the hell is a Pap smear? _

I cringe. _You'll see. _

• • •

"Does that happen _every time_?" Fang asks in shock. I roll my eyes, buckling myself into the car.

"Yes," I say, trying not to be embarrassed about it. Catherine really freaked him out today, only because she was a little too descriptive about her instruments and what exactly they do. I'd been seeing her for a year now, so I knew the drill. Fang was and still is slightly horrified.

"Does it hurt? To have that thing up there?" Fang asks, looking at me seriously. I roll my eyes again, pulling my feet up onto the seat with me.

"The _speculum_?" I say with attitude, trying to suppress my amusement. It's Fang's turn to roll his eyes, and he does graciously.

"Please. Like you knew what that think was called before it was inside you."

I gape at him. "Dick."

Fang laughs. "No, the metal thing."

I punch his arm.

"Would you quit? I'm driving."

I decide not to point out that the car isn't even on yet. We sit quietly in the parking lot, Fang adjusting the radio and me adjusting the air. When he looks over at me, I smile sheepishly.

"Five weeks."

"Imagine that," Fang whispers. He leans over the console to kiss me, lingering for a moment. He eventually pulls back and puts the car in gear, navigating us out of the parking lot. I lean back against my headrest, direct the air conditioning toward me, and close my eyes.

Five weeks ago? Five weeks ago, when we ran out of condoms? Five weeks ago, when we trusted the pulling out strategy?

_Yeah, five weeks sounds about right. _

I remember the day clearly. We'd been fighting, probably about something stupid because I can't remember. All I know is I was pissed. All of our anger soon got translated into a different kind of passion - Fang tried to distract me from my rampage, I think. I went along with it after a while, but I wasn't being nice about it.

_Stop it, _I remember him whispering. _I'm not doing this if your mad at me. _

_Fine, whatever, _I had panted, because I'd been too far gone at that point to stick to my guns about being mad. Then Fang had discovered we were out of condoms.

"_You didn't buy any fucking condoms?" he hisses, looking at me in contempt._

_I gape at him. "Seriously? You're the dude, Fang! That's your territory!" _

_Fang glares. "I wouldn't have to wear them if it weren't for you!" _

_Oh, God, the logic there just astounds me. "Wow."_

"_You just went shopping," Fang says. "Like two days ago."_

"_I'm sorry no one wrote condoms on the fucking grocery list! You know, this is just so-"_

_He cut me off with his mouth, giving me a hard, slow kiss. My brain stresses to focus on the fight. _

I remember it getting hot again after that, and Fang promising to pull out. He started making love to me and I was still being mean, still being a bitch because I couldn't just turn off my anger without some help. I remember he wrapped me up and whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry, I don't want to fight."

He broke down my resolve slowly, as he gently rocked into me. He didn't want to have angry sex with me. He wouldn't let it happen. Instead he slowly apologized, made up with me in the best, most beautiful way. In the end I remember tears welling in my eyes, crying out for him and being completely over our argument. I remember wrapping my legs around him as hard as I could, and I remember him pushing my knees away from his waist so he could pull out at the last second.

"Aren't you glad it wasn't angry sex that brought our kid into the world?" Fang asks quietly, looking at me with his barely-there grin. His fingers dance over my knee.

_Our kid_.

I smile back, closing my eyes. "Yeah, I guess I am."

• • •

_Unplanned doesn't have to mean unhappy. _

That's what Catherine had told us as we'd left her office. She knew we were young - she knew we were still in school. When I'd asked her not to tell my mom, she'd smiled and promised not to. Then she'd said, "Unplanned doesn't have to mean unhappy, okay? Get excited. Document milestones. Enjoy it - don't treat this like an accident, treat it like a miracle. Because it _is_. It is a miracle. You'll see what I mean."

I guess that's why I'm sitting in bed with the leather-bound diary my mom gave me for Christmas. I want to remember this as something good, something exciting. I don't want to remember nine months of regret or fear.

It's getting late. Only Iggy and Fang are still up, watching something on TV downstairs. I pick up my pen and start writing.

_Journal, _

Calling this thing a diary seems so entirely cliché. Naming it would be worse - if Fang ever found this thing, he'd admit me to a psyche ward. _Journal _seems at least partially detached, like its not some object I'm giving humanistic qualities.

_I don't know why I'm writing in you. Honestly, I never thought I'd sink this low - talking to a bunch of blank pages. _

I feel stupid for clarifying to a notebook my reasons for writing in it, but I don't cross out the words or erase it. I'm the only one who'll ever see it, right? So…who cares?

_Whatever, _I write. _Don't think this is going to become a regular occurrence. _

_Anyways._

My hand just keeps going. Suddenly I'm sitting back against the pillows, working my fingers through a writing cramp. I flip through the pages and realize that I've filled four of them with just my first entry.

I write through my entire experience of barfing in PE class, then write a very involved and detailed account about Fang's first trip to the gynecologist. As soon as my eyes get tired, I close my journal and slip it into the drawer by our bed. I smile as I crawl under the covers and turn off the lamp. _Mom's helping me through my pregnancy, and she doesn't even know it. _

After a couple minutes, I hear the TV shut off downstairs and Fang comes into our room. He gets ready for bed in the dark, then crawls in behind me.

I sigh, twisting my fingers with his tiredly. "We're going to be okay, aren't we Fang?"

He nods into my shoulder. "Yeah. Yeah, Max, I think so."

I can't just leave it at that. I roll over in his arms, tucking my chin against his chest. "I mean, I think we'll be okay parents. Not the best, because look at us…but, we'll be okay."

"We'll be okay," Fang repeats. He looks at me, and I feel like he wants to say something but is afraid of how I'll react. I slide my hand up and around his neck, twisting my fingers in his hair.

"What?" I whisper.

"I come from two shitty parents," Fang says finally. "I just…want to be good enough."

I bite my lip, pulling him close. So close that he's all I can smell or feel, and so close than I can barely even see him. "You're plenty good enough, Fang. You're going to be so wonderful. Such a good dad."

Fang lets out a harsh breath, one he's probably been holding for a long time, he presses a kiss to my forehead.

_Thanks. _

Something collides with our door with a dull thump, and I sit up quickly, almost bonking heads with Fang. He looks at the door in alarm.

I hear a soft, feminine groan. "Max?"

Fang gets up at the sound of Angel's voice. He tugs on some sweats and then unlocks the door and there she is, in her pink pajama set my mom bought her. She only got it a few months ago, but she's outgrowing it ridiculously fast. Fang picks her up and brings her over like she's still six years old because she looks petrified. She's had a nightmare - a bad one.

This doesn't happen often - in fact, it barely happens at all anymore. We're so deep in our new lives, so far from our most recent threat that our really disturbing dreams about the School are far and few between. But Angel's still the youngest. Even though she's nearly ten, we _all _have the dreams sometimes. I know sometimes she and Nudge have little sleepovers after episodes like that, but sometimes she needs me.

If it were any other nine-year-old, it'd be weird for them to run to mommy with a nightmare. These nightmares, though, are the exception.

"C'mere," I say tiredly. She crawls in next to me and lays on her belly, her face facing away from me. I rub her back slowly.

"It's alright, hon," I whisper. "It's not real. You're safe. No one's going to get you, I promise."

Fang comes back over and lies down on my other side, his hand finding my waist.

"We'll be fine," he says again, quieter this time. _Being a mom just comes so naturally to you. _

I sigh, moving my foot against his slowly. _We'll be fine, you're right. I love you. _

Fang hums in my ear, kissing my shoulder and sliding his hand around to hold my flat stomach. We fall asleep like that, with our first baby tucked up against my side and our real one under Fang's protective hand.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I fixed my typos. Sorry! Thanks for pointing them out. **

**Also, just…thank you so much for the continued loyalty to this story. I know we've taken a lot of surprising turns (ahem, the extra 30 chapters) but I'm glad you all stuck around! Aren't you?**

**Hagbre5498: Haha, yeah. I felt like I wasn't doing the story justice if Fang didn't have to sit through a gyno visit. Thanks! I find it really fucking funny, too, considering this was meant to be a short story to help get rid of my writer's block. Now it's like my third longest story. At least it really did help with the writer's block! Thank you, again. You're more fantastic.**

**Stormchase4533: Thanks! I was trying to tug at the heartstrings there, so I'm glad you felt it. Haha! We've all had that kind of teacher or prof, haven't we? I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the long review. **

**Awesomealpha11: Thank you!**

**Loserslovereadin: I went back and fixed the typo, so thanks for pointing that out! I love when you guys notice that, because I don't have a beta and I only proof it once - usually really quickly and around one am, so thanks. They are actually called prenatal vitamins, though. Thanks so much, I'm glad you like it so much. **

**FaxFiction: I fixed my typos! The nauseous one makes **_**me **_**nauseous, so thanks for that. I'm glad you enjoyed Fang's time in the OBGYN office…I almost wrote it out but decided against it. I liked his reaction later in the car better. We still have some fun times ahead for them, and I honestly don't even know how many more chapters, but…I'm glad you liked it. I love that you say I can hit those emotional moments, because I work my ass off on those moments. Same with the balance between Max and Fang in their relationship. God, these two are really, really hard to write sometimes. It's good to see my hair-pulling-out pays off. And no worries - Fang will get to see an ultrasound visit - and coincidentally, so will Aaron. (: Thanks, ma'am. **

**Flytothemax97: Yeah, they really did need to hear that from Cathy. Glad you enjoyed it! Writing Pregnant Max stories is so scary, I never know what people are going to react to. Thank you!**

**Nola96: Don't worry, we'll see a good portion of the pregnancy. We go a little past graduation, and the epilogue gives us a peek of Tyler. (: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad that you notice their healing - it **_**is **_**still a story about healing, despite the teenage pregnancy and raging sex. Anyways, life has been a mess? I hope all is well. PM me if you need to rant or talk or anything. You rock, lady. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Ha! Glad you enjoyed it! He will get to see the ultrasound. I've written it. It's set. And I agree - I like sweet young Angel much better, too. Thank you!**

**Kateflowrchild: Aw, I know right? It's kind of adorable. Thank you so much for the review!**

**Guest with Long Review: It **_**was **_**a long review! Thank you for the feedback! It seriously makes me so happy when someone says they thoroughly enjoy my writing like that. Sometimes it comes easily, but sometimes it doesn't, and so I'm glad that I'm giving myself ulcers for a reason, at least. (: Everyone comments on my laid-back writing style, where I get a little relaxed with explanations and descriptions, and I'm glad that you like it. Sometimes it can be a curse, because scenes that need to be descriptive don't quite make it there, but other times it's just fun. I'm glad you like reading my story. I want it to be fun. I'm also glad you like my M, because I'm new at this and seriously don't know where the line is and when I cross it! Thank you so much!**

**This one is a little longer than usual. There was just… a lot to say here, I guess. You ever have that moment when a chapter just won't end? It just keeps writing itself? This was one of those times. **

**M warning: Sex in this chapter. Twice. But not until the end. **

**Read on!**

MAX

"Fang, wake up."

I really shouldn't wake him. We still have a good hour before we're considered late, and he slept really well. For the first time in a long time. Last night was gloriously uneventful - he didn't wake me, I didn't wake him. I'd say that's the definition of a win-win in our relationship.

Deciding against my sweet side, I shove his shoulder until he shows signs of life. He rolls over after a moment, groaning like an old man. He's awake, but not happy about it. He glares at me through half-open eyes and says _hum? _

"I can tell."

Fang blinks.

"Look. Ready?" Once I'm sure I have his slightly-coherent attention, I roll up my tank top, push down the blankets a bit, and then let him see my belly. Fang just raises an eyebrow at me before burrowing his face back into his pillow.

"It looks the same," he says. He clears his throat of sleep. "Max, you haven't gained any weight."

I scoff. "Shut up. Look!"

Fang dutifully looks again. "You're pushing your stomach out."

I frown at him. "_I _can tell."

"Well, I can't."

I grab his hand and push it to my belly. Maybe he can't see it, but if he can't feel it, he's lost it. There's a slight roundness to my stomach that just hasn't protruded - you can feel it, though, hard under my skin. Fang's fingers push experimentally.

"It's hard."

"Hard_er _than my awesome abs _usually _are, you mean," I say, grinning. "I know."

He lifts himself over to kiss me gently, then groans as he tiredly wiggles down until he's face to hip with me. He lays next to me, smoothes his fingers over my skin, and kisses the soft skin of my waist, all the way around to my bellybutton and the other side of my hips. I sigh and push on his shoulders.

_Lower. _

He just smiles, though, and kisses my mouth again. Then the bed shifts and Fang gets up and starts to get ready for the day.

"Come back, I'm not done," I say. He doesn't. He picks up a pair of mostly-clean jeans from our floor and pulls them on.

It's been two weeks since my appointment with Cathy. In a few days, we have our first ultrasound. The morning sickness has subsided, but I know that's just the beginning. The side effects don't bother me so much - not yet. What bothers me is that Fang won't touch me.

I try. I constantly try. He's started this new game called 'Don't give Max orgasms,' and I hate it. I thought - _naively _\- that I could seduce him out of it. But since that seems to not be the case, I decide it's time for confrontation.

So, while Emma and I make sandwiches for everyone to bring for lunch this morning, I think to him, _So, what's the deal?_

_With what? _

_You've barely touched me since we found out, _I think, trying not to feel insecure. _I figured this would maybe happen once I became a balloon, but…you said you can't notice, so what's turning you off? _

Fang looks at me skeptically over his coffee - which he says I can't drink anymore. Jerk.

"Max, you're ridiculous," he says out loud.

_You're ridiculous. Just talk to me, doofus. _

"Do we have any peanut butter?" Emma asks, holding two empty slices of bread.

"Nope, sorry kid," I say. "You like ham, though. We have some ham in the fridge."

Emma turns towards the fridge to dig out the ham.

He sighs. _Honestly? I can't tell if you're wearing only underwear to bed because you're having hot flashes, or because you want to get laid. _

I look over my shoulder and he is staring at me with plain honesty clear on his face. I laugh despite myself. I leave the sandwich duty to Emma and go over to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Mostly the second one. At least you noticed."

_Be hard not to, _Fang thinks.

I kiss his cheek. _That not it, though, is it?_

_What? _he thinks, playing innocent.

I roll my eyes at him. Emma asks me for the paper baggies and I hand her a stack. She starts labeling them with names and I start stuffing sandwiches inside.

_Like, last week? When you "helped me out" as you so romantically put it? In the shower?_

Fang's face screws up in defense. _I got you off!_

I give him the Look. _I helped. Come on, Fang, we've been having sex for a year. When's the last time I had to help you?_

He frowns. The answer is "a very, very long time ago," but he doesn't say that. He says what I've been suspecting he would. What's been his _real _problem with being intimate since we got pregnant.

_I don't want to hurt you._

"Here, Gaz, catch!" Emma tosses him his lunch. "Here's Ig's. Where is Holden?"

Gazzy shrugs. "What kind of sandwich is this?"

"One's bologna," I say. "One's ham."

Gazzy frowns. "No peanut butter?"

"I looked," Emma says. "We're out."

I turn back to Gazzy, who's always a grump in the morning. "You're welcome," I say sweetly, kissing his forehead - which he _hates_. I roll my eyes and direct my attention back to Fang.

_Fang, you won't hurt me. I'm not made of glass. _I hesitate, and then think pointedly, _And our kid is about the size of a raisin right now. You aren't going to hurt the baby. Your fingers aren't that long - trust me. _

_What about my-_

_Not that, either. I promise. _

"Everyone got your stuff ready? We leave in fifteen," I say absently, heading outside and around the house with the garbage in my hands. Fang follows me.

"Really? Are you really bothered by this?"

I look at him in surprise, tossing the trash in the bin. "Well, yeah. I don't really '_get' _my body right now, but I know I want you."

Fang watches me.

"Like, all the time."

He grins.

"Like, right now."

He rolls his eyes, as if I'm joking or something. Then his eyes widen. _Twenty minutes before school? Really?_

I just smile at him, as convincingly as I can.

_Max, no. Not right now. _

"That's mean."

Fang pulls me close. It's sweet, despite the ripe smell of the garbage can. My nose can't stand the stench - I pull him away a bit. "How about tonight?"

"I work until eight," I say glumly.

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm with Ella. I'm not going to schedule sex with you. We aren't _that _bad yet, are we?"

Fang kisses my ear gently. "Tonight. Late."

"What if I'm tired? I can't have caffeine, _remember_?"

"Tonight," Fang says again, grinning. "I'll figure out some way to keep you awake. I promise."

I smile. "We can go to the cave," I whisper.

He looks at me, again, as if I'm nuts. "That won't be very comfortable."

"I don't want comfortable. When I'm huge and have to waddle, I'll want comfortable. But not now. I just…want you to like…pull my hair or pin me down or something. Be rough, like you used to be."

Fang kisses me again, his face holding a hint of amusement. He sobers up long enough to say, "If that's what you want."

"Thank you."

"A raisin, huh?"

"A raisin." I grin, poking his side teasingly. "What, did you really think you'd accidentally…poke him or something?"

He doesn't say anything, but the look he gives me says enough.

• • •

The day drags. Our teachers are trying to pile on as much work as they can, since this is their last month to torture my senior class. It's pouring when school lets out, so Fang drives half of us home and Aaron drives the other half. On the way, Aaron drops me off at work. Traffic at the bookstore is slow, due to the thunderstorm, so I spend most of the night sitting behind the desk, looking through random books we got delivered the day before. Finally eight o-clock rolls around, and the rain has slowed to a drizzle. I text Fang and tell him I don't need him to pick me up, then I shoot into the air, hoping to get all the way home before the next dark cloud comes over us.

It's impossible to wrangle everyone into bed. I'm arguing with Nudge to go to bed - she's the last straggler - when Fang comes downstairs.

"Let's go," he says. "She's fine. We gotta beat the rain."

I eye Nudge suspiciously, and she grins. "Don't stay up all night."

"Going out?" Nudge counters, curling up on the couch with a big quilt and the remote. "On a _school _night?"

"Don't get into any trouble," Iggy says teasingly. Then he adds, in a slightly more serious tone, "Be careful."

The second half isn't a joke - he's serious. He's saying, _you're pregnant, don't do anything stupid or dangerous. _I roll my eyes and he rolls his, too, like he can tell.

"I'm serious. The weather's bad."

"I know," I say. "We'll be fine. We're just going out for a bit."

When we step outside, it's raining very lightly. Fang shrugs on his coat, shifts the blanket from one hand to the other, and then looks at me. "Think you should be flying?"

I roll my eyes at him. I pull up my hood and let my wings out slowly. "I'll be fine. Race ya."

We both jump off the porch. I shove Fang's arm as we run and he almost falls face first into the mud. I hear him laugh, hear his, "I'm so going to get you!" and _I run for my life_.

I jump into the air the moment I feel his breath on my neck. His fingers graze my ankle, and I know he let me go on purpose. I know that if I weren't pregnant, he would've grabbed me and dragged me down into the mud. He's too gentlemanly for his own good. Ha.

I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering, but I focus long enough to pour on my speed and make my way to the cave. When I get there, I hunker down in the corner, waiting for him. As soon as he lands, I jump at him, tackling him to the cold floor of the cave.

We laugh as we tumble, and Fang keeps his weight off me carefully. He presses his forehead to mine, his breathing slightly labored.

"Max, are you happy?" he whispers softly. I look up at him, honest as ever, and suck my bottom lip between my teeth just to keep myself from grinning like a maniac. I nod, tugging him down toward me. _Yes, yes, yes_, I am happy.

He scoops me up and sits me on the long rock towards the back of the cave. I shuck off my coat, letting the cool air of the cave hit my skin. It's a weird day - the rain has been almost nonstop, but it's still warm outside, and slightly muggy.

Fang spreads out our blanket, glancing out at the darkening sky. "Looks like we made it just in time," he says quietly. Thunders rolls, not too far in the distance, and I know we're about to get a good storm.

He straightens up, finally getting the blanket spread out on the rock, and I lay down on it, looking up at him. "This is nice." I slide my fingers over the softness of the fabric, and then roll onto my side.

Fang gathers me up to him, pulling my body to his. He sits on the rock, me in his lap, and guides my lips to his without a word. I let out a long breath, melting into him. The rest of the day fades away into the background.

He gently opens my lips with his, ducking his tongue in as soon as I'll let him. My fingers move up slowly, feeling the muscles of his shoulders and chest over his shirt. Fang's fingers dance over the small of my back as he leans forward, pulls me harder against him, and ravages my mouth beautifully. I can't really remember the last time we just made out. We don't get time for leisurely make out sessions, ever.

We kiss each other breathless. The storm picks up outside, but besides a few knee-jerking jolts of lightning and loud-as-hell thunder, the steady pour of the rain right outside the mouth of our cave is a perfect soundtrack for us. It's not a violent storm - it's just a passionate one. It gives it's all - the rain comes down fast and constant and with all it's might. The sun slowly sets behind the dark clouds until Fang and I are shrouded in darkness. I'm sure if I were to open my eyes, it would be hard to make out all the details of his face now, despite how close we are.

His lips are still moving against mine, full and raw and well-kissed. I lightly nibble on his lip, sucking it into my mouth, making him groan softly. His mouth sucks gently at mine, so carefully and so slowly, because we have all the time in the world.

It's an hour before I even think about taking his clothes off. I unzip his jacket and then push it off his shoulders, helping him pull the cuffs off his hands. His shirt is next, immediately, only because he wants to put his hands back on me. I kiss down his neck and his chest, taking my time on each inch, remembering how he tastes and feels.

"You look so good," Fang says breathlessly, his eyes trailing over me as he pulls off my shirt. He tosses it to the side, moving his hand up to my face. He trails his thumb over my swollen lip and smiles lopsidedly, leaning in to kiss me again, as if he can't help himself. "So beautiful."

I don't even tell him to shut up; I'm so wrapped up in him. He unclasps my bra and immediately cups me in his hands. I gasp, push my chest forward into his warmth, and spread my wings out in a stretch. I arch my back slowly, feeling his hands on me, and he leans down to pepper kisses everywhere. I brush my fingers through his slightly damp hair while he kisses softly and pinches sensitive flesh.

"Ah," I gasp, my hands gripping the base of his wings. "Fang."

Fang kisses up my sternum, breathing against my cheek gently. "Help me get these off," he says, pulling on one of my belt loops. I nod. I scoot back off his lap onto the rock and unbutton my jeans, shoving them down. I kick them down into a rolled up mess on the cave floor. When I look over at Fang, he's done the same. I push down my underwear and toss them carefully onto my pile of clothes, then Fang pulls me back into him arms.

I sit on Fang's thighs, one hand on the cave wall behind him supporting me while I kiss him. Fang leans back against the wall, his hands leaving trails of hot need up and down my sides and the insides of my thighs and the tops of my shoulders. The thunder outside rolls again, the storm continues strongly, and I move closer into Fang's arms, feeling warm and safe.

"I love you," I say quietly, so overwhelmed by the emotion that I can barely get the words out. Fang cups my jaw his eyes boring into mine.

"I know," he says, kissing my slightly open, breathless lips. "I love you, too."

"I'm ready," I say, touching his hands, which are splayed on my thighs. "Been ready."

He smiles, tugging me closer. Then he says, "Oh, wait. I brought something."

I watch him reach into his jeans and retrieve a small foil package and I have to laugh.

"Oh, _now _you remember the condom," I say. "How thoughtful of you."

Fang smirks. "I brought it for you, goof."

"I'm flattered, but I don't want it," I say. "We don't need it now, anyways."

"I know. But look."

He opens it and hands it to me, and so I play along and roll it onto him.

"Oh, _God_," I groan. I run my hand over him, feeling the ridges of the latex. I look up at him through my lashes, already out of breath at the sight of it. "You're trying to torture me, aren't you?"

"You'll like it," Fang says. "It's ribbed."

"I know," I say, eyeing the textured condom that now sheathes my boyfriend. "I don't think I'll be able to handle it."

"Do you want me to get rid of it? I will," he says.

"No," I say quickly. I blush. "Might as well try it."

Fang grins, kissing me gently. His hands grip the bottom of my thighs; I grab one of his shoulders and brace my other hand on the wall behind him. He slowly helps me lower myself onto him. My fingers travel up, up around his head and into his hair. I pull his head toward mine and press my forehead to his, harder and harder the lower I go. I let out a breath between my teeth.

"Okay?"

"So good," I choke, my fingers curling against the rough cave wall. "So, so good. Oh, _ohhh_."

I breathe against his lips in little puffs and whimpers, too taken over by the pleasure to actually kiss him. I move against him a few times, getting used to the foreign ridges inside me, then I lean back. I put my hands on Fang's legs, right above his knees, and rock forward and back on him. I feel my hair grazing the tops of my hands and Fang's knees as I do this, tilting my head back farther at the sensation. My toes curl, my heels dig into the rock, and I cry out almost every time, completely lost. The lightning flashes outside and I see him perfectly for a second, our cave suddenly bright as day, and the look on his face as he watches me is an unbelievable turn on.

"I'm close," I whimper, grabbing Fang's shoulder and pulling myself closer to his mouth so I can kiss him. He rocks under me.

"Already?" he whispers. "It's barely been two minutes."

I laugh, screwing my eyes shut. "Welcome to _my _world."

Fang scoffs. "I was never that bad."

I moan softly, resting my head on Fang's shoulder. "Come on, Fang. Please."

Fang puts his hands on my thighs. He grips them hard, hard enough to bruise, and spread me apart more. He holds me completely still and doesn't allow me to rock or rotate or anything and _I'm pissed_.

He lifts his hips, hard, and rotates his pelvis underneath me. He's spreading me so far that I'm stretched and full and totally fucking blissed out. Then, I come. That ever-sensitive bundle of nerves of mine rubs against the base of his cock and my brain shorts out almost instantaneously. I can't even wrap my head around my orgasm, I'm so shocked. Fang watches me, still slowly grinding up into me while I cry out his name between twenty _pleases_.

We sit still for a second. I lean back a little, trying not to overload my senses by staying pressed against him like that. I can feel my muscles spasming, my heartbeat making every single pulse point in my body throb hotly. Fang coos that I look so beautiful when I come, that he loves me exactly like this. I smile, kissing his lips.

"I want to keep going, but not like this. I'm too sensitive down there."

Fang nods, holding my ass with one hand and moving us to roll me onto my back. He's still inside me, and as we shift I cry out, "Like this! Like this, please, please, Fang, just like this," I murmur, wrapping my leg around the small of his back.

It's not a comfortable position by far. My hair is trapped under Fang's elbow. My hip digs into the rock, our legs are twisted weirdly, and we're laying half on our sides, mid-roll.

But holy shit. It feels good. Fang holds my ass and rocks into me roughly, supporting me at this weird tilted angle. I can barely stand it, crying out loudly when he effortlessly hits a nerve inside me that renders me completely incoherent. His lips crash against mine and the slow, languid love making immediately turns into something hotter, faster, rougher. Desperation crashes down on both of us, rolls in with the thunder of the storm, and we begin moving frantically against each other.

"Fang, Fang, Fang," I cry, letting my head loll back against the rock. "_Please_."

We find it again, this time together, and Fang wraps me up in his arms as we shake against each other. When I have enough breath, I capture his mouth against mine and groan against his lips. He's still moving, just barely, rocking gently against me as he comes down.

"Get that thing out of me," I pant softly, feeling him slowly pull out. He rolls off the condom and I say, "Whoever created those is just evil."

Fang grins, lying back down next to me. "You liked it."

"Well, yeah, I freaking loved it."

The humidity outside and our already heated skin means we're both not up for cuddling. We lay beside each other, letting the cool cave air slowly calm our skin and our heartbeats. We both fall asleep after that, just for a little while, but the storm comes back with a vengeance and wakes us.

"What time is it, you think?" I ask tiredly. Now we're both chilly enough to put our clothes back on. When I lay down again Fang pulls me back against him.

I feel him move behind me, then he tosses his arm over me and holds his phone before my face. We both squint at the brightness. "Three," I say. "Wow. We slept longer than I thought."

"School in four hours," Fang groans, letting his phone lay by my face. He relaxes against me, and I shift in his arms. His fingers tighten against him hip once, then loosen, and I don't let up.

"Are you tired?" Fang asks.

I grin into the darkness. I can just barely see the sky getting lighter outside of our cave. The rain is slowing. "No."

Fang groans, tugging my ass back against him. _I thought you were just trying to get comfortable at first. But you… _

I laugh quietly, pushing back against him, feeling him respond this time. He finishes his thought, _…really want to go again?_

"We don't have to," I say softly. But Fang's already reaching around and undoing my pants, pushing them down my legs.

He breathes, "Take off your shirt." I feel him move behind me, ridding himself of his jeans. I groan, try to yank my shirt off from my current position, and Fang's fingers help get the cotton shirt off my wings. I pull them in, tucking them neatly against my spine, and feel Fang curl behind me again.

"We're doing it like this," Fang says, giving me time to object. I don't. In the next second he's inside, heavy and hot and pushing - _still _pushing. He doesn't go fast and I'm glad, because taking him from this position puts pressure on new spots. He doesn't thrust, he doesn't do anything deliberate. He rotates his hips slowly behind me, and then we just rock against each other. There's no real rhythm, not yet. We just move, trying to find what feels good. I gasp, turn my head to kiss him hotly, and his fingers move around to touch me down there but I grab his fingers and gasp, "No, I'll come too fast."

Fang groans, twisting my fingers with his and grinding harder. I push back against him, trying to figure out how to respond to his movements backwards, and he just keeps moving, twisting and pushing and rocking so, so, so slowly. We slowly get there, just like this. Eventually everything feels _too _good - I can barely respond to his jerky movements and mindless grinds. When he whispers my name and pulls me back onto him, I know. I drag our connected hands down and let him touch me, and we fall apart together again.

We're quiet for a while. We drift off again, pressed against each other this time. When I wake up it's slightly brighter outside, and I can see the sun coming up. It's still raining.

"It's always going to be like this, right?" I ask softly. I roll over and Fang looks at me curiously, like he doesn't really get what I mean.

"We're always going to want each other? Want to be together? Want to have sex?"

Fang shrugs. "Yeah?"

I move closer, throwing my leg over him and resting my chin on his chest. "Like, we do it for each other, you know? Because we love each other. When we first slept together, I didn't like it because you lasted long enough to get me off -"

"Which I did," Fang says, curling his arms around me.

"-Or because you knew what you were doing-"

"Which I didn't," Fang whispers, pulling me up so I'm face to face with him. I push my fingers through his messy hair, holding myself above him with my arm on his chest.

"It was because I loved you," I say, blushing slightly. "Because…because it was special."

He doesn't say anything out loud, just watches me.

"_So_," I pick up again, "when we're old and you have erectile dysfunction or something, I won't care that you need medical help to get it up. I'll still want you."

Fang wrinkles his nose at that idea, but nods like he finally gets it. "Okay. You think I won't want you?"

"I'm not going to be the same," I say awkwardly, "after having a baby."

Fang blinks. "Max."

I look down at him, dead serious. "I read online that this lady, she had these weight balls that she was putting _up there_, and wearing them, like, when she did errands just to strengthen her muscles for-"

He cuts me off with, "Max, wait."

I wait, with baited breath, and Fang just looks at me for a second. "You researched them, didn't you?"

"Well, fuck, wouldn't you? And, damn, did I _learn_," I say. "A lot of people say they work. Apparently there's exercises you can do with them, and-"

"Max."

"I swear, at least three websites said you sneeze to get them out. God! Sneezing! What if you _accidentally _sneeze-?"

"Max."

"I'm just saying! I mean, this one website said you can just jump up and down to get them out, and can we just picture that for a second?"

Fang shakes his head, rolling over to look down at me. "Max, I'm going to want you. No matter what. Even if you have twenty kids and you can't feel shit down there, I'm going to want you."

I'm relieved, of course, but I lighten the mood by thinking, _So romantic. _

"Of course, if you really can't feel anything down there, you'll have to fake it for me, okay? So I still feel good about myself."

"Okay, deal."

"Okay." He kisses my mouth.

"What time is it?" I ask. Fang reaches over for his phone and unlocks it, showing the bright screen and the numbers _6:05. _

"Shit," he says. I agree. We both tug on our clothes and Fang looks out at the steady rain, looking frustrated. We'll have to risk it, or be late to school.

"Before you even say it, you aren't carrying me," I say, frowning at him.

"Be careful," he says seriously. "Don't use super speed. Stay near me."

I roll my eyes. "Aye, aye," I say, spreading my wings.

Flying in the rain sucks. On top of that, it's super dangerous, but the rain seems to have calmed down and there's no thunder or lightning. We make it home, soaked but safe. When we walk inside, every single person in the living room and kitchen stares at us. No one says anything.

"Wow." That's Aaron. He stands in the doorway to the kitchen, eating a mini chocolate donut.

"What are you doing here?" I say, shivering slightly.

"Don't you know it isn't safe to fly in the rain? I'm carpooling today."

"Okay, well…we'll be ready in ten."

Fang and I go to the laundry room to ditch our soaked jackets and our blanket in the sink. Fang hops in the shower across the hall and I run upstairs to the bathroom there. Nudge is still doing her hair, so at least we aren't the only ones not ready to leave.

"I was wondering if you were planning on showing up," Nudge says. I skip modesty and jump in the shower with her still in the bathroom, throwing my clothes out of the curtain into a pile on the floor.

"It was raining. We tried to wait out the storm, and then we fell asleep," I say, cranking the water hotter. It feels like heaven.

"Yeah, Ig was worried about you guys. The storm got really bad last night."

"Yeah," I say, squeezing a nice amount of shampoo into my hand. "We were hunkered out in a cave all night."

"How romantic," Nudge says sarcastically.

I grin, even though she can't see me. _No kidding. _

**A/N: Sorry for typos. **


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: The one thing I hate about writing this story is that it makes me go back and fact check myself with **_**Choices **_**and **_**Consequences**_**. I hate reading my own stuff. I'm seriously about ready to take down **_**Consequences **_**and start over. Gawd. **

**Thank you so much for the responses to last chapter. This story is officially-unofficially finished. It's the longest story I have on this site (or it will be when finished) so give yourselves a round of applause because that is just the fucking funniest thing I've ever heard. Hopefully I can push myself, get my tweaks finished, and tie up this story in two weeks. Probably not, though. **

**Special shout-outs to: DntlessAnnabeth, Guest, FaxFiction, Abby, flytothemax97, Hagbre5498. Stormchase4533, Nola96, Resisting-Moonlight, loserslovereadin, and awesomealpha11. I'm sorry I can't answer your questions and comments right now, but I cherish all of you. Thanks.**

**I know I have PMs to answer...I'll get to those ASAP.**

**Sorry for typos. **

**Read on!**

MAX

"We know that girl," I say, grabbing Fang's arm and steering him to the other side of the waiting room. He sweeps the room with his eyes discreetly, and it's kind of funny watching him scope the area that way when it isn't concerning an army of Erasers or anything.

"Where?"

The waiting room is large, but not large enough to escape her sight, so I pull him towards the other side of a decent sized potted ficus. Hopefully, the girl won't think anything about seeing Fang accompanying me in the OBGYN office.

We sit. "She's by the door. I don't remember her name," I peer around the tree once then sit back in my chair, slumping a little.

"Relax," Fang says. "We're fine."

"It's not exactly normal for you to be here," I mumble, grabbing a random magazine. "Have you noticed how those people keep calling the house? And the cars that are mysteriously on our street now and then?"

"Our drama died down," Fang says, shrugging. "They want a story."

"Well, they'll get one, if we aren't careful enough," I say. I look up at him. "Mom is not finding out through a tabloid."

"A girl from your English class isn't going to leak a story to the press," Fang says rationally. Maybe he's right, but I still feel jittery the entire time we sit in the waiting room. When Rachel comes through the door of the office and opens her mouth to say my name, I stand up and shoot her a look. She clamps her mouth shut in surprise and I shove Fang through the doorway quickly before she can call my name.

"Uh, hi," she says, smiling at me. "Everything okay?"

"Just a little paranoid," I say sheepishly. "Hi."

She nods, still looking at me like I'm nuts. "How have you been feeling?"

"Fine," I say, shrugging. Honestly, sometimes I think we're wrong and I'm not really pregnant. There are practically no side effects right now, and if we hadn't gotten Cathy to check through blood tests, I would've never believed it. Recently, it's been feeling as if this whole pregnancy thing isn't real. My stomach is not growing, and neither is anything else. I'm only eight weeks along, and I guess it's normal for petite women to not show for a while, but after the morning sickness disappeared I felt completely normal again. I guess I've just been looking for signs that aren't there yet. "Normal."

"That's good," Rachel says. "Let's step on the scale really quick."

The scale isn't nearly as scary as it should be, since I've barely gained two pounds.

"Is that normal?" I ask nervously, stepping off the cold metal scale and slipping into my shoes.

Rachel shrugs. Since she isn't emitting any worrisome tells, I'm guessing I'm okay. "Every woman is different. A woman like you, with a light build and hollow bones, is quite far from _normal_, but not unhealthy. You're small. Your baby will probably be small."

I nod, and she leads Fang and I down the hall into a small exam room.

Out of curiosity, I say, "Am I getting a full check up today?" I'm hoping the answer is no, just because they aren't the most enjoyable things in the world. Plus, I don't exactly know how it works, but if Cathy can somehow tell that Fang and I got down this morning, that will make this entire thing twice as awkward.

"Not today," Rachel says brightly. "Just a sonogram. You don't need to get undressed, but she will need you on the table. I'll let her know that you're here."

"Thanks."

I lift myself up onto the exam table and watch Fang. He's standing across the room, looking at all the ultrasound equipment with interest. "Are you nervous?"

"I think I've been nervous for the past three weeks straight," I say, rubbing my arms to get rid of the raised hairs and goosebumps. It's cold, but that's not it. The exam table, the sterile tools, the antiseptic smell. Multiple triggers in one place. I hate going to the doctor.

Fang comes over and puts his hands over mine. "Are you really okay?"

I sigh, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm just…waiting for something crazy to happen. And everything's just going on as normal, but I keep expecting someone to find out and to wake up to a huge stomach, and-"

"You need to relax," Fang says softly.

"I will," I say. "One day."

He grins. He steps back when Cathy drops a quick knock on the door. She steps into the room, smiling brightly and carrying my file.

"Hey guys, how are you?"

"Good," I say, picking at the sterile paper roll on the exam table beneath me. Fang sinks into a chair in the corner, nodding.

"Eight weeks," Cathy says, her bright eyes finding mine. "How do you feel?"

"I feel good," I say.

Cathy sweeps her hair up into a quick bun, tugging small flyaways away from her face. "Good! Eight weeks is a _little _early for the first ultrasound, but I want to keep a close eye on this baby. As if your medical history isn't enough, I'm expecting this child to have two extra limbs, and I want to make sure this pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible."

"You and me both," I say honestly. To say that childbirth scares the shit out of me would be putting it lightly.

"Okay. Sit back, I'm going to adjust the table so you're propped up." She casually preps me, and talks us through it as she goes. "So, basically, a sonogram is a test that uses sound waves to give us an idea of what the baby looks like. It helps us get a good picture of the baby, see its development, monitor its health, etcetera. Go ahead and roll up your shirt for me, to right below your bra."

I do. Fang comes over near us, interested. He stands on the other side of me and gently takes my hand in his. I let out a breath, trying to relax. _I'm safe, I'm good. Everything's good._

"Why the gel?" Fang asks.

She smiles. "It helps conduct the sound waves. It's a little uncomfortable, because it's cold, but the test only takes a couple minutes."

She holds up the tube of gel and smiles excitedly at me. I think it's her job to be excited all the time for this kind of stuff, but whatever.

"Ready to get a peek in there?"

I exhale shakily. "I think so."

• • •

When we hear the heartbeat, it finally hits me.

It takes Cathy a second to find the heartbeat - actually, a minute and thirty seconds. The scariest minute and thirty seconds ever. When the sound hits our ears, Fang makes this noise near my ear - kind of a half-laugh, half-gasp of shock. He kisses the side of my face in a burst of complete euphoria, his face full of surprise. His hand grips mine hard, his eyes glued to the small screen. I hold his hand in one of mine and grip the side of the chair with my other, my eyes glued to the instrument in Cathy's hand that is smearing freezing cold gel on my stomach.

"Is that normal?" I ask, glancing up to her face. "For it to be so fast?"

"Well, your heartbeat is normally fast, as is Dad's," Cathy says. When she refers to Fang as _Dad_, I nearly lose it. Every time. That will probably never sound normal. "A baby's developing heartbeat is usually two to three times faster, so it seems normal. I think everything is okay. Of course, I want to have more frequent appointments, just because yours is such an abnormal situation. Okay?"

I nod, and finally let myself look at Fang. I smile shakily at him, and he brushes back some hair that's escaped my unruly ponytail.

"Max, look."

Any doubt I ever had is erased by the quick thumping of the baby's heart. I stare at the small form on the screen, wiggling and jerking around, and it hits me. Even though I can't feel it, my baby is moving and growing and living. It's real. _It's fucking real_.

"Oh, my God," I whisper. My nose tickles, and my eyes get wet and watery, and Cathy gives us some privacy while she prints off a few pictures for us.

I tear my eyes away to look at Fang again. "Oh, my God," I repeat, because maybe that's the only thing I can say right now. Fang nods, completely on the same page as I am.

It's unbelievable.

"Look, he's got feet," Fang says in my ear.

I laugh despite my sudden onslaught of tears, wiping my eyes. "Good, I would hope so. Quit calling it a him - we don't know that yet."

"Better than calling him an it," Fang says. "Look, Max."

"I'm looking," I say. "It looks like an alien."

"And it will, for a while," Cathy says, coming back over to us. "It'll start looking a little more human, soon. So, it'll only get cuter. Here you go."

She hands us a page of fuzzy black and white pictures. I hand the pictures to Fang while she starts wiping the gel off my stomach.

"I want to see you in three weeks, at the latest," Cathy says. "And if anything happens between now and then, anything that worries you or that you're unsure of, call me. Okay?"

"Okay," I say. "Thanks, Cathy. Really."

"You're welcome. You guys have a good day." She shakes Fang's hand, grinning. "Don't let her freak out too much."

He squeeze my hand. "I'll try not to."

• • •

Fang and I go out to lunch further into the city, as far from home as we can comfortably drive before our growling stomachs make us stop. Since Fang's excuse to get out of work today was that we'd been planning a date today for a few days (Mom's quite a lenient boss, as long as Fang gets his shit done before deadline) he decides to treat me to food.

We sit in at a small, homey deli diner and both order soup and baked sandwiches. A mom sits a few tables away from us, one toddler in a booster seat to her left and a newborn strapped in a car seat to her right. A man carries over two trays of food and sits across from her.

"It's weird," I say, looking at Fang. "To think of us like that." I tilt my head in their direction, and Fang glances over as he takes a drink.

"I know," Fang says. "We take care of the others, but the closest we've ever been to taking care of a baby was Angel."

"Right. And she was two," I say.

Fang nods. "And not ours."

I sigh, eyeing my sandwich. "I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of terrified."

"Me too," Fang says honestly, which somehow comforts me. At least we're _both _scared shitless. "I hope that's normal."

I laugh, taking another bite. "Speaking of raising children," I say, grabbing a napkin from the stack between us, "Gazzy got detention yesterday. I think I forgot to tell you."

"You did," he says, shrugging. "What'd he do?"

"He rigged the fire alarm to go off during a test he wasn't ready for," I say, rolling my eyes. "Evacuated the entire middle school. Fire trucks showed up and everything. He got in huge trouble for it. Mom had to sit with the principal for an hour, haggling punishments."

The way our household works is weird. Since we live apart from my mom, I'm technically the one in charge. At least, at _home _I'm the one in charge. But since school doesn't like putting down an eighteen-year-old senior as the legal guardian, that slot goes to my mom. She gets called for emergencies. She has authority to call us out of school.

"Shit," Fang says.

"Yeah, he's lucky he didn't get suspended. Maybe you should talk to him, tell him to stop fucking around at school before he gets in real trouble. If I do it, he's just going to get mad at me. He likes you."

Fang rolls his eyes. "I'll give it a shot. That reminds me." He casually rips open a small packet and sprinkles some pepper into his steaming hot soup. "I think Nudge tried to talk to me about sex the other day."

My eyes practically bug out of my head. "What? _When_?"

"When I took her to get her license. On the way home."

"Fang, that was _weeks _ago!" I exclaim. He eyes me.

"Well, yeah, I've been kind of distracted," he says pointedly. He stirs his soup calmly.

Yes, this is _my _fault for getting pregnant. Right.

"What'd she say?"

"She was just…talking about relationships and stuff, asking me weird questions."

I pause to take a bite, then ask, "What'd _you _say?"

Fang looks at me, a little guilty. "I distracted her. I showed her how to change the oil in the car."

I laugh. "Fang!"

"She blind-sided me!" He shakes his head. "I think _you _need to talk to her. She's sixteen now."

God. I know she's sixteen, but I still picture her as twelve. The fact that she goes on dates and borrows Fang's car and _knows what sex is _freaks me out.

"I _have _talked to her about that stuff," I say defensively.

Fang gives me the Look. "The textbook version. She gets that at school. You need to give her the non-textbook version."

I roll my eyes. "I need to sit her down in front of the computer and let her peruse for an hour. She'll be set."

Fang chews quietly for a second. I know what he means, but damn it…how am I supposed to talk to her about being careful and safe and smart while I'm two months pregnant in high school?

"She's going to get herself hurt," Fang says quietly. "You know Nudge. She's a whole-hearted person. You just need to warn her."

I rub my forehead. My appetite is slowing disappearing at this conversation. "Do you think she's ready for all that already?"

Fang frowns. "No. Were we ready for it? Probably not. I mean, maybe if all that shit hadn't gone down beforehand…" He shakes his head. "We're different. We were engaged at fifteen. That's weird for other people."

"She's…not dating someone she's known her whole life," I say, nodding. "She dating normal guys, different guys. _Guys_, plural, which is enough on its own to make her experience different from mine. So…yeah, I guess someone should talk to her. Why didn't _you _deal with it, three weeks ago, when she brought it up?"

Fang grins at me, that infuriating one that I love-hate, and shrugs. "I taught her to drive. We gotta split the responsibilities."

I roll my eyes. "She tried to talk to _you _about it. Not me."

"She likes me better."

I kick him under the table. He kicks me back, so I play on his protective side (which has been much more active since we found out about the baby) and pretend to be hurt.

"Ow," I gasp. "Fang!"

"You're fine," Fang says, waving off my injury. "I know when you're faking."

I smirk at him. "_Do _you?"

He kicks me again.

• • •

A few days later, Ella comes into the house with a hellish mission in mind.

"We need dresses for prom. Both of us." I open my mouth to retaliate, but she says, "Your 'not my scene' excuse doesn't work here! The theme is _Cloud 9_! What better scene for a girl with _wings_?"

I clench my teeth. That's what I get for teasing Holden about being on the prom committee - some girl talked him into it. I make fun of him for it _one time_, and now he sits across the kitchen, grinning at me while Ella demands I put shoes on and go to the mall with her.

"You did this on purpose," I hiss meanly, and he shrugs innocently.

"Have fun, Max."

I slide my eyes over to Ella, who looks just as smug. "Max, it will be so, so fun. I promise. You can't ditch senior prom. _Please_?"

"Well," I say, trying to sound sincerely regretful. "Fang hasn't really asked me-"

"Fang!" Ella calls.

He's in the other room, on his computer. He shouts back, "What?"

"Ask Max to prom!"

I groan, letting my forehead fall forward onto the table. I hear Fang call out monotonously, "Max, let's go to prom."

Ella squeals like we've just gotten parent permission for something. She grabs my arm and yanks me out of my chair. "Come on! Let's go! Put on some shoes!"

"Ella, I'm really busy today-"

"We can get food at that restaurant by the mall," Ella says finally, crossing her arms. "I'll buy."

She's got me and she knows it. I can't turn down the offer for free food - especially _delicious _free food.

"Fuck, fine." I move out of the kitchen and into the living room by the door. As I pull on my shoes, I glare at my boyfriend.

"You suck," I say.

He shrugs, not looking up from his blog. "Where you going?"

"Prom dress shopping."

He looks up at that, then nods. "You should take Nudge. Have your awkward conversation, but you can have El there for a buffer."

I chew on my lip. "You're right. Ella? Go get Nudge."

• • •

"_Cute_," Nudge says, eyeing the blue dress Ella had shoved into my room. "So cute."

"You've said that for all of them," I say, frowning at myself in the mirror. Ella comes over and yanks my hair out of my ponytail, letting it fall messily around my shoulders.

"Because they all are! You're so pretty, Max. Any one of them would work."

"I don't like it," I say. "It doesn't feel like…me."

Nudge groans, leaning back against the small cushiony chair in the dressing room. Ella rolls her eyes.

"You've said _that _for all of them," Ella retorts.

"It's true," I say. I look back into my dressing room.

"Do you have any more to try on?"

Ella's already bought her dress - a gorgeous baby blue ballgown, with a classic neckline and long straight skirt. It's gorgeous, and totally perfect for Ella's tan skin and dark hair. We've been to nearly every store in the mall that sells dresses, so this is our last chance to find me something.

I sigh. "One. I picked it out."

Ella brightens immediately. "Let's see it!"

I move into my dressing room again and slip on the other dress. It clings to my curves, but considering how much weight I'm gaining due to the pregnancy, I think I'll still fit in a few weeks. I expand my wings as best I can and zip the dress up under them a bit - the back of the dress slopes low enough that my wings can comfortably be out of it without any custom cuts. I situated my boobs for a second, then open the door.

"Holy shit."

"Is it stupid?"

"It has a slit! _You _picked that out?" Ella asks, floored.

"Yes?"

Nudge looks tickled that I have some semblance of fashion sense. "Max! You look freakin' hot. Seriously. If you and Ella wear those dresses to prom, every single girl there is going to hate herself a little bit."

I roll my eyes, turning to face the mirror. "Shut up."

"Nudge, look at the back! Her wings!" Ella practically dies when she sees how low the back sweeps. "You're buying this."

I keep studying myself in the mirror, unsure. Nudge lifts her phone and then next thing I know, she's taking a picture of me. I spin around.

"Stop!"

"No," Nudge says, not looking up from her phone. "I know you're going to try to talk yourself out of it. I'm showing Fang."

"Nudge!" Ella says. "It's supposed to be a surprise."

Nudge rolls her eyes. "It's not a wedding dress, Ella. Chill."

Three minutes later, after the two of them have shot down all my "buts" and "what ifs" about the dress, Nudge's phone rings. She grins and puts it on speaker.

"Hi," Nudge says shortly.

"Is she buying that? She should buy that."

I roll my eyes up towards the ceiling. "Fang, seriously?"

"If you don't come home with that dress, you can sleep on the couch," he says seriously. Nudge bursts into laughter.

"It's really tight," I say, hoping he can read between the lines there.

"Yeah, I saw. Buy it."

He seems much less worried about weight gain than I am. I chew on my lip, thinking.

"Max, no other dress you try on will ever top that one," Ella says.

Fang's voice comes through the phone, fuzzy and distorted. "Well, she'll look good in anything-"

"Dude, it has a slit," Nudge says. "Thigh-high. You should see her when she pops her hip out in that pissed-off stance she does all the time-"

Fang sighs. "I'm sold."

I roll my eyes. Ella looks at me, her eyes pleading with me to just give in and buy it already. I sigh.

"Fine!"

"We got her," Nudge says. "Thanks, Fang!"

"Thank _you_."

Nudge snorts and hangs up, then looks at us. "Let's buy that and go eat. I'm starving."

"We have to get underwear," Ella says, unzipping the back for me and shoving me into my dressing room. "Max needs a thong."

"Ugh! Why?"

"Because I can see the line of your underwear through your dress. It's too tight."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever."

A couple minutes later, we're looking through fancy underwear sets. Ella tells Nudge to look for a white pair, something lacy, and Nudge looks at her suspiciously.

"Why do _you _need new underwear?"

Ella shrugs. "Prom. Special occasion."

Nudge's jaw drops open. "Are you sleeping with Iggy?"

Ella doesn't answer right away, and that's when I jump in. "Ella! What happened to _waiting_? If you have some cliché plan to lose it on prom night I'm going to smack you." She laughs a little, but I am dead serious. When she sees my face she rolls her eyes.

"Would you chill? Stop being a mom for, like, five seconds? I'm not sleeping with Iggy."

The mom comment gets under my skin more than usual, but I let it slide.

"I'm not _totally _innocent, okay? We do stuff…just normal stuff, though," she says. "He wants to go slow because of his memories from the School, and I don't blame him. I want to go slow because…well, because."

"That's good, Ella," I say, slyly looking at Nudge. "You don't need a reason. Do what you're comfortable with. Be _completely sure_."

Nudge catches me looking at her. The moment of realization crushes her, betrayal crosses her facial features, and she stomps her foot. "Fang told you!"

I struggle for something to say that won't piss her off. "Yes, but only because he was worried!"

"I can't believe it!"

"I can't believe you didn't talk to me!" I shoot back. "What the hell? _Fang_? Really?"

Nudge frowns. "He's more laid back than you are. I figured you'd lock me in my room if I mentioned anything like this."

"Nudge, seriously?"

She groans. "I don't want to talk about this here."

Her words are final, and I sigh, not ready to let it go. We get through the rest of our shopping, then when we're comfortably seated at the restaurant I bring it up again.

"Nudge, it's just us girls," I say. "Let's talk about it."

Nudge sighs, pushing her hair behind her ear. With her other hand, she stirs the straw in her tea, pinning the lemon wedge at the bottom of the glass. "All my friends are starting to get serious with their boyfriends. I'm literally like the only one who isn't. I guess it's dumb to really care about it, especially because I don't have a boyfriend right now, but…"

"But you think that's what guys expect now?" Ella fills in. Nudge sighs, nodding.

I open my mouth to totally shoot that down, but Ella stops me. "Max, quit. You were totally brain-dead sophomore year. You wouldn't have noticed that that was when everyone started hooking up."

"Sophomore year? That is _so _young!"

"You slept with Fang junior year," Nudge accuses. I gape at her.

"_So_? I have never been with anyone else, never even thought about being with anyone else that way. I've known him my entire life!"

Nudge looks more sullen, if possible. "We aren't all as special as you and Fang, Max."

Ella shoots me a look, like, _shut this down and change directions ASAP_.

"That's not what I'm saying," I say, shaking my head. I suck at this. Maybe she _should've _talked to Fang instead. "Nudge, let me start over, okay?"

She looks at me expectantly, her eyes trained on my face.

"Fang and I…Having sex at the wrong time in our relationship really put a wrench in our lives for a while. You saw that. We broke up, we were unhappy for a long time. So, yeah, we had a different situation, but it wasn't perfect. It was…far from perfect."

Nudge takes a drink of her tea, then says, "Yeah, I know. I get it."

"Okay," I say, leaning back in my chair. "I'm not trying to tell you that you have to be engaged before sex, or married, or twenty-one years old, or anything. Okay? Be comfortable. Don't do anything because you think you should, or because your friends are doing it. Everyone is ready at different times. It's completely up to you to decide when you're ready."

Nudge looks thoughtful. She looks over at Ella. "You're waiting? Until marriage?"

Ella shrugs. "I want to be completely committed to someone before I take that step," Ella says. "Not everyone does it that way, though. Max is right. Everyone is different."

Nudge doesn't say anything. I think I know what she's thinking; what she's afraid to ask. I try not to freak out over the fact that Nudge is growing up too fast and instead I say, "Nudge, nothing you do…no matter what, is going to make me less proud of you. Or make me love you any less. I don't care how many times you think you've totally fucked up, I'll still be here. Okay?"

She smiles. "Okay."

"And that means please, please don't be afraid to talk to me," I add. "Fang is a good option, but…I'm pretty good, too."

She laughs. "Okay, Max."

"And please use protection."

Nudge flushes bright red. "_Okay_! I'm changing the subject now."

All I can think is, _I am a complete hypocrite. _

• • •

That night, Fang almost pushes me out of bed mid-nightmare. His body collides with mine and most of the blankets follow me over the edge of the bed.

"Whoa!" I cry out, grappling quickly for the edge of the mattress. I pull myself up, trying to save myself from ending up a twisted mess on the floor. I roll onto my side and gently touch Fang's arm, looking down at him urgently.

"Hey, Fang, it's me. I'm here. Babe?" I rub my hand slowly up and down his arm. His skin is warm, as usual, but the muscles underneath are tense. This one's bad.

Who am I kidding. They're all bad.

I hate the look on his face when he wakes up from nightmares. I hate it. His eyes fly open and the split second of complete panic tears at me every time. I close my eyes and lay with him, slowly running my fingers over his arm.

"Hey. I'm here."

He lets out a harsh breath. After a second, he rolls away. Sits up.

"Fang?"

"I'll be back."

I sit up. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He looks at me. I can see him warring with himself. "I just need some air. I'll be back."

He smacks a distracted kiss on my forehead and then pulls on a shirt, moving towards the window. He pushes it open and crawls out without another word, leaving me alone in bed with the cool night air. I pull the blankets into my lap and up around my shoulders.

I sit there for a second, the window still wide open, waiting. Hoping that Fang will swoop back in in just a couple minutes. Hoping all he needed was a quick flight before he was ready to talk. Hoping maybe this time he'll let me in.

After thirty minutes, I get up and shut the window. I crawl back into bed, curling up in the middle with the covers wrapped around my shoulders. I close my eyes, trying not to worry.

He does this often. More often than before we got pregnant, less often than when he was having episodes. I have a feeling these nightmares aren't just about Evelyn - maybe they include me or the baby. I don't know for sure, because he won't talk about any of them with me.

I worry about him. He wakes up from nightmares like this, at least twice a week. Every time he does the same thing. He gets up, totally fucked up from it, and runs out. Barely says anything to me. Then, when he comes back in the morning, he's quiet and calm. He pretends it didn't happen. He pretends over and over again.

He can't pretend forever, though.

And that's what I'm scared of.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Prom. Yay. **

**Thanks for the reviews! I'm seriously updating this with the five minutes of free-time I have today, but I'm sending you all cyber hugs. As for the PMs, be patient with me. Maybe I can get some done on break at work tomorrow! **

**I'm really excited/terrified for the next couple chapters. They're written, though, so the faster we read and review the faster I'll hopefully update. **

**You guys rock. **

**Read on!**

MAX

Two weeks later, we're at Mom's for dinner. The kids are outside, running around and flying, enjoying the warm spring weather. I sit in the kitchen, watching Mom cook. I work my way through some late homework assignments, and she leaves the food to cook for a while and sits down across from me with two glasses of juice. She slides one to me, looking at me expectantly.

"Fang's having nightmares again," I admit, wrapping my fingers around the chilled glass. I hate talking about him behind his back like this, but I need her advice. The nightmares have become a permanent fixture in our nightly routine, and I'm scared that they'll become really permanent if I don't do something about it.

Mom takes a drink of her own juice, frowning.

"How bad?"

"Bad. They practically disappeared over the summer. Now they're back, and they're happening almost every night we don't share a dream."

Mom puts her elbows on the tables. Her shirt from work is still on, rolled up to the elbows to make cooking easier. She rests her chin on her folded, suspended hands and continues to look at me.

"Well, was there anything to trigger them? Is something wrong?"

I could tell her. I could tell her right now. Two simple, nearly painless words and I would be free of this ridiculously terrifying charade. I could tell her and I could finally have my confidante back. She'd know exactly what to do.

"Not really," I say quietly, kicking myself again and again in my head. _You big fucking wimp._ I stare down at my own hands, worriedly wringing each other - something I must've picked up from my Mom. My engagement ring glints up at me. "Graduation? The next big step in our lives around the corner? I think he's stressing more than usual."

"Huh," Mom says after a second. I look up at her, but her face is still calm and focused on me. She adds, "What does he say about it?"

My eyes get hot, which is _so _un-fucking-fair right now. I have no control over my emotions.

"He won't talk to me about it," I say with an unsteady voice. "He leaves after each one, in the middle of the night. In the morning, it's as if it never happened."

Mom doesn't say anything.

"I'm afraid that he's going to let it keep building up inside," I confess quietly. "I think he's trying to protect me from having to deal with it again."

"And in the process, he's taking it all onto himself?"

I nod, chewing my cheek.

"The best advice I can give you is to talk to him, sweetheart," Mom says. "You guys know how to communicate. Sometimes, hard stuff comes up and you second guess how strong your relationship really is, but…push through it. Safety in numbers, right?"

I laugh hopelessly. She smiles lightly, and I take a second to say, "I'm scared for him."

_And myself. And the flock. And the baby. _

"That's okay," Mom says, shrugging her shoulders. She reaches across the table and grabs my hands in hers. Her skin is warm. Slightly dry, probably from constant washing and disinfecting at the clinic, but warm and comforting nonetheless. "That's normal. Guess what? That never goes away. You love someone that much…get ready to worry about him forever."

There's something there that I'm not quite getting all the way. A hidden message. A deeper meaning. Mom looks at me, looks at me hard, and I nod. I swallow.

"Have you tried? To talk about it?"

"I don't want to push him," I say honestly. "I don't want him to think that I'm…pestering him. I don't want him to clam up more because I'm nosy."

"Max, sometimes he's going to need a push. He needed one last time, and he might need another."

I sigh. "I'll try. I'll see what happens."

Mom pats my hand comfortingly just as the boy himself comes into the room, followed by a few of the others. Emma and Nudge trail in behind him, and Iggy and Ella make their way inside, too, laughing loudly.

"Fang, I don't think I'll need you at the office this weekend," Mom says casually, standing up to check on the food.

Fang helps himself to a soda from the fridge and sits next to me, cracking it open. "Okay. Why?"

"Oh, nothing big. I just know it'll be busy for you guys, what with prom and all."

Fang nods.

Prom. I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that the dress Ella and Nudge made me buy doesn't fit anymore. I haven't tried it on since, but it was tight fitting when I bought it - slim around the waist and tight on the chest.

I doubt it zips, now.

"Prom!" Ella says happily. "I'm so excited for prom."

I force a smile. "Me too."

Ella wrinkles her nose, grinning. "You are not. But thanks for playing along."

"God, I can't wait until I get to go to prom!" Emma says. "Max's dress is _so _pretty."

"It really is. But I think when I get to buy a dress for prom, I'm going to get a big, huge, princess one," Nudge says dreamily.

I glance at Fang again.

_We gotta figure out an excuse to get out of prom. _

_Why? _

_I'll show you when we get home. _

After dinner, Mom tries to hug me hard and I try not to let her feel my stomach. I'm not showing, but I have gained weight. Though my stomach isn't rounding out yet, but chest and hips are fuller. It's only a matter of time before everyone starts to notice. I pull away quickly and immediately look away from her, trying to keep myself busy and distracted by lecturing the Gasman for being a gross preteen.

"Honey, are you alright?" Mom asks, putting her hand on my shoulder and pulling my attention back to her. I try not to let my face heat up.

"Great," I say, then add honestly, "Just tired. It's been a long week."

I feel an arm curl around my waist and Fang kisses my temple quickly. "Ready?" he asks, his hand still on my abdomen, his fingers curling around my hip. I see Mom glance at our stance and wiggle away a little.

"Yeah," I say. "Come on, guys! Let's get going!"

The way home is peacefully quiet. Fang and Iggy both tell me I probably shouldn't fly, but there's no believable excuse for me to suddenly want to ride in the car everywhere, so I just promise to be careful. Iggy tails me anyways.

When we get home, I show Fang exactly why we can't go to prom.

"It doesn't zip," I say miserably. It really is a pretty dress - black and classy and simple, yet still stunning. The only problem is that it clings to all my curves - _all _of them.

Fang sits on the bed behind me and tries to zip it.

"Suck in," Fang says, trying to tug the zipper edges closer together.

I groan. "Just _kill _me."

"Turn around," he says lightly. I turn to face him and he smiles gently, as if trying to fix this shitty situation. "You look good from this side. I really like this." He traces a finger up my thigh where the dress cuts into a slit.

I frown. "Just help me get it off."

Fang studies me for a second, then starts pulling the fabric up for me while I hold my arms up. Once it's off, he lays it on the bed next to him and looks up at me.

"Are you _really _upset we can't go to prom?" he asks finally.

Frustration builds inside me. Not with him - just with our entire situation. I push past him and fall backwards on the bed in my underwear.

"I'm upset that I have to wear fucking sweatshirts in public, even when it's eighty degrees out," I say, feeling my eyes get warm and watery with stress. "I'm upset that I have to make up excuses and lies for everything. I'm just _upset_."

Fang doesn't say anything.

"I'm upset I have to hide from my mom," I say, my voice shaking. "I mean, I am _really fucking upset _about that one." I wipe my eyes quickly.

Fang pulls one of my feet into his lap, rubbing his thumbs into my heel and the ball of my foot. "We could tell people," Fang says quietly. "If you want to stop hiding it."

I screw my eyes shut, taking deep, measured breaths. "I don't want to tell everyone. I don't want to be _that girl _at graduation."

Fang's hand squeezes my foot. "You're not that girl."

"The girl that got herself accidentally knocked up at eighteen?" I challenge.

"Max, you're a lot of things, but _that girl _isn't one of them," Fang says.

A miserable laugh bubbles up past the tears. "Thanks, babe."

_You know what I mean._

I sigh. _I know._ I wipe my eyes until there's no more wetness to wipe away, then look at Fang blearily.

"We'll blame this episode on the hormones?" I say jokingly.

"Just add it to the list," he replies, pinching my big toe.

I kick at him.

• • •

When prom comes around, I have "food poisoning." Mom doesn't press too much, but she forces Fang and I through a couple of cringe-worthy cliché poses. Holden has a girl names Sydney with him, apparently the same girl he's been choosing over us for month now. She has a gorgeous purple dress on, one of those princess-y ones that Nudge would've died for. After pictures, the girls go to the bathroom to do a last-check of their hair and make-up, and Aaron plops down on the couch beside me.

I'm really playing up the sick excuse. I have sweatpants and an oversized tee on, and my hair looks like a tumbleweed on top of my head. The dark circles under my eyes are real, yet they aren't the product of a rancid piece of chicken for dinner last night. I haven't gotten a good night of sleep in days.

"You don't have food poisoning," Aaron says quietly, looking at me.

I smooth my palm over my stomach subconsciously. "My dress doesn't fit."

Aaron laughs softly. "When's the last time you were too fat for something?"

I groan, leaning to rest my head on his shoulder. His suit is crisp and cool under my cheek. Emily chose a pink dress, so Aaron's tie is light pink. He looks nice. So does Iggy. So does Holden. I can only imagine what Fang would look like - and how he'd look at me, when he saw me in my dress - if we were going tonight.

"You'll be alright. I still can't tell," he says quietly. I close my eyes, nodding against him. I almost want to ask him if Fang has said anything about the nightmares, or if he has any idea how bad that situation is getting, but I don't. I just sit there with him until the girls are ready to go.

"Be careful!" Mom calls from the porch, watching them all climb into Aaron's car. "Please no drinking and driving! Aaron!"

"I know, Dr. M. We'll be careful," he says calmly, placating my mother expertly. I grin from behind her.

"Okay, have fun!" Mom calls, still wringing her hands in that worrisome way of hers. As the car pulls out of the driveway, Mom turns to me. I shrug at her, like, what next?

"I think I'm going to go home," Mom says, shrugging back. "I have some paper work to do, and probably laundry."

"Okay. I'm going to go back to sleep," I say, hugging her.

"Feel better, honey," she says, smiling. "Call me if you need anything. And, I know Ella will forget, so text me when they all get back here for the night. Okay?"

"Okay. Love you."

She lets herself out, and I fall back onto the couch, closing my eyes. I just need…a nap.

At the sound of the front door opening, I sit up and open my eyes. "Nudge, where are you going?"

She spins around. "To the movies."

"With?"

"Some girls from school."

I raise an eyebrow, and she raises one back.

"And straight home afterwards?"

Nudge sighs in defeat, rolling her eyes. "And then to a party."

I just look at her.

"Okay, so Sarah is having a party. It's not a big one, but there will be a decent amount of people there."

"Okay," I say. "Go ahead. Be careful. You better be home the same time the others are. Their curfew is one."

Nudge nods. "I will. And I'm not driving, so no worries there."

"Don't ride with anyone who's been drinking. If you need Fang to pick you up, just call."

She nods again, reaching for the doorknob again. "Okay. Bye, love you!"

"Nudge!"

She turns around, door half-open behind her. I can hear someone impatiently honking. "Yeah?"

I sink back against my pillow. "That stuff we talked about? That works in all peer pressure situations, okay?"

Nudge smirks at me. "_Okay_, Max. I got it."

Fang comes into the room and calls, "Hey, where you going?"

Nudge flings a hand up and waves, but doesn't turn around. "Out! Ask Max, I'm late. Bye!"

She leaves, pulling the door shut behind her. Fang looks at me.

"Nudge," I say, rolling onto my side, "is going to a party."

"God." Fang sits next to my feet. "So, what do you want to do? Go crash the kids' movie night downstairs? Go crash Nudge's party?"

I groan, pulling a throw pillow over my face. "We're those people now. We don't get invited - we _crash _things."

Fang nudges me with his foot. "Max. Come on."

I peek at him. He's really begging me to play along, so I do. I sit up, gather my pillow and the throw blanket to myself and look at him earnestly. "Fine. You know what I want to do?"

"What?"

"I want to talk about your nightmares."

Fang doesn't even flinch. "That wasn't an option."

"Talk to me," I say quietly. "Seriously. Come on."

"I'm fine."

"You're hiding," I correct him firmly. "From me and from your problem. Please-"

"Max," Fang says with finality. "No."

I chew on my cheek. I think about what Mom said, and I remember how messed up these dreams make him, and I feel like I _need _to press on. Even if he gets mad.

I move closer to him, crawling over into his arms, sinking back into the cushions of the couch with him.

"Fang, if you hide from it and try to bottle it up, it will only get worse," I say. "We've been through this once. Let me help."

He sighs. He pulls me closer, rubs his thumb against my arm. "Max…I will. But let me deal with it first, okay? I just…need to get my thoughts straight."

I nod into his side, closing my eyes. "I'm here. Don't think you _can't _tell me."

Fang presses his mouth to my head. "Everyone keeps telling me to watch out for you. Cathy wants me to keep it as stress-free as possible for you. You don't need to worry about me right now. When I need to talk, we'll talk about it."

"Promise?"

"I promise," Fang says. His hands rubs up and down my back in long, firm strokes, loosening my muscles and helping detoxify my body from stress and worry. "Are you upset we aren't going to prom?"

I shrug into his side. Am I? I don't think so. I think I'm more upset at the reason why we're skipping prom. We skip a lot of things, just because we want to, and we always do it so we can spend time alone or do something fun that we _want _to do. Instead, we're stuck at home because I can't fit into my dress.

"I spent one hundred dollars on a dress I'll never wear."

Fang doesn't say anything. I can practically hear the gears in his head turning. I lean against him until he sits up and starts pushing me off the couch.

"Go. Go put your dress on."

"What? It doesn't zip," I say, standing up anyways. "That's pointless."

"No, just do it. Go."

I grudgingly move upstairs to put my dress on. The back doesn't zip even an inch before it won't budge anymore, but my boobs hold the dress up relatively well. I examine myself in the mirror and notice that it really outlines the slight curve of my stomach. The exact curve I've been trying to hide since it started appearing. I pop my knee out slightly and my entire leg makes an appearance.

I don't care if you can see my bump.

I still look _good_.

As long as I don't turn around.

I can see my underwear line through the dress, just like Ella had said, but I don't feel like digging out that thong. Then again, do I really want to ruin the illusion of how good I look with a _panty line_?

On impulse, I kick my underwear off. No one will know the difference.

There's a knock on the door. "Hey, hand my suit out to me."

I roll my eyes, grabbing his suit from the closet. "Fang, we don't have to do this. This is dumb."

"No, shut up," he says. He opens the door a crack and holds his hand out. I put the hanger in his hand and he closes the door without another word. I hear him shut himself in the bathroom and wonder what I'm supposed to do while I wait for him to be done.

I end up sitting on the bed in my dress, forcefully arranging my boobs so they aren't popping out inappropriately. Fang comes into the room while I wrestle myself into my dress and _fuck_, he looks good. The tux is all black, everything, and his tie is silver to match the silver sparkly belt on my dress. His black button-up is rolled up to his elbows, because I think he knows that that look is a one-way ticket to Max's stubborn heart. He grabs my hand, pulls me to my feet, and swings his suit jacket around my shoulders. Subsequently hiding the wide open back of my dress.

"See? Fits perfect."

I roll my eyes. Fang looks at me, gauging my response to his ridiculous plan. When it's evident that I'm done putting up a fight, he drags me out of our room and down the stairs.

He flips the living room lights off, casting us into darkness. The he turns on the lamp in the corner, which is as close as we can get to dimming the lights.

"Uh…" he looks around for a second, then leaves me standing alone in the living room. He runs downstairs, where the kids are watching movies. When he comes back, he's carrying someone's iPod.

"Aaron hijacked Nudge's iPod," Fang says as he hits shuffle and starts clicking through songs. "He wanted her to stop listening to pop."

I roll my eyes. A slow, quiet song comes on, sounding almost orchestral, and Fang drops the iPod on the coffee table and comes over to me again.

"Prom," he says, spreading his hands and looking around the dim living room. He pulls me against him. "Except better, because no one's trying to grind on you."

"…Yet."

Fang smirks. "Right."

I laugh, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"You're a dork."

"I know that's your way of saying, 'Thanks, Fang, this is really special.'"

_Thanks, Fang, _I think, standing up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He kisses me back, then lets me tuck my head against his chest.

His arms come around me, and we start swaying lazily. In this moment, he isn't my boyfriend or my fiancée or the guy who got me pregnant senior year or the guy who won't confide in my about his nightmares. This is my best friend, the guys who's always done exactly this during my meltdowns. He shuts it down, turns it around, and finds a way to patch up my problem. Finds a way to make it a little easier to keep going.

And, as usual, it works.

I think I can keep going.

Fang's hands slide down over my ass, and he pulls back a little to look at me.

"Are you wearing underwear?"

"Nope."

He grins. "Am I getting laid?"

"Nope."

He groans, tucking my head back under his chin. "What's even the point of prom?"


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: ****Thank you so very much for the wonderful feedback. I guess I'll update again…because I just am really excited to get these chapters out and we had a really great response to last chapter! **

**Lustrex: Holy reviewing spree! Thank you so much for the comments - I'm sure you know as well as I do how fun it is to read the predictions people make. For the record, I can't imagine keeping something so big from my mom, either. We're too close for that. I can't remember the last time something huge happened in my life and my mom didn't know about it. Thanks so much! As for Fang...we'll get there. I promise! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Haha, yeah, it was pretty much all fluff. Thanks!**

**loserslovereadin: Honestly? I don't know what _I'm_ going to do when this story is over. Ha. But thanks! It means a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying it! **

**Nola96: Like how I slipped that in there, with Dr. M? Haha. They're figuring it out. They only have one more big blip before the end, but it's good, I think. I love writing and reading fight scenes, though, so... Thanks for the review! **

**kateflowrchild13: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!**

**Hagbre5498: Thanks! It is a good day! And yeah, I think Dr. M is really integral to this story, and to how the flock functions post-Itex. Thank you so much for the feedback! **

**DntlessAnnabeth: That was a last minute addition, haha. Glad you liked it!**

**Stormchase4533: FAX always finds a way to do something _their way_, don't they? Haha. Thanks so much for the review! And no, I haven't. Thankfully. A lot of research has gone into writing this story!**

**Jenni: Any feedback rocks! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I think they needed a moment like that, to just feel like best friends again. **

**flytothemax97: Yeah, I tried to hint at that a little here. Glad you caught that. Val is subtle, but she's dropping as many hints as she can, almost begging Max to tell her at this point. Thanks for the review! **

**FaxFiction: Val wants so badly for Max to just spill already, haha. You write a better Val, in my opinion, because you mix the Mom-Wisdom fountain thing with Hispanic influences and Spanish curses. I enjoy that a lot. I wish JP had taken that step with her character! Yeah, I couldn't let them ignore prom altogether. Not when Max even went through the trouble of buying her dress. Haha. I'm glad everyone enjoyed it, though. I think they needed a moment like that, just for them. The nightmares...we have a few chapters before that comes to an end. And things get a little worse before they get better, but we all know Max is a crazy worrywart. Thank you!**

**Sorry for typos. Just got home from work, so it's time for me to take some Advil and peace out for a while. **

**Read on!**

MAX

"If only it was winter," I say, examining my bump in Aaron's mirror. "Maybe then I'd have an excuse to wear hoodies all the time."

"If it were winter, you'd have a lot more of school yet," Aaron says from behind the _Pregnancy and Parenting: The Answers _that I'm forcing him to read. "And everyone would've known the real reason you skipped prom."

I roll my eyes, and turn so I can study my bump from the other side. Yes, my bump caused me to miss prom. It's also caused me to dress for winter weather in the middle of May. My bump also caused much turmoil when I discovered my first stretch mark. I've been applying stretch mark cream to my skin ever since.

I have mixed feelings about graduation, which is in less than a week. I'm excited, ready to be done with school and done with hiding my pregnancy. And at the same time…I'm terrified to tell my mom. And the flock. And…well, everyone. Tabloids still find the bird-kids as some kind of interesting feature idea, so we end up in magazines more than we'd ever like. Thankfully, we've been extremely careful when buying things that even remotely relate to pregnancy - for instances, I'd ordered all the baby books online.

The front door downstairs opens and closes; Fang and Iggy have returned with lunch. Aaron and I travel downstairs, and Aaron brings his reading material with him.

"Why do I have to read this and Iggy doesn't?" Aaron asks, slapping the book down on the counter.

"Because. Is Iggy the one who keeps making ridiculous jokes about my pregnancy? Was Iggy the one who followed me around the store a week ago, teasing me about my pregnancy?"

Aaron sneers at me. "It's because he can't read, isn't it?"

"Hey, watch it!" Iggy says. "I'm really sensitive."

"According to _Pregnancy and Parenting: The Answers_," Aaron says snobbily, opening a cardboard box and stealing two slices of pizza, "so is Max. All over the place. Fang, your input?"

Fang shakes his head, like, _I'm not going there_. He passes me a plate with three pieces stacked on top of each other. I thank him and hop up onto a stool, digging in.

"Iggy calls you _Mom_," Aaron says pointedly. "At really inappropriate times."

I roll my eyes. "He's been calling me _Mom _since he knew how to talk," I say. "Besides, I'm sure you're learning a lot. Right?"

"It actually is kind of interesting," Aaron says in surrender. "Are you reading it?"

"I have a different one. Fang read ahead and saw the chapter about complications during and post-labor, and he ripped it out of my book before I could read it."

"If you'd read that chapter, you would've gone to Val and begged her to take that kid out of you _right now_," he says. "Trust me."

I slap his arm. "Stop. You're freaking me out, Fang."

"It wasn't really that bad," he says consolingly. I look up at him, and he's shaking his head solemnly at Aaron.

I look at both of them in horror. "_Stop _it!"

"I don't even know what's going on, but this is damn good pizza," Iggy says, resting his elbows on the counter as he eats. "Is there anything to drink around here?"

Aaron groans and pads across the kitchen in his socks, moving toward his fridge. He pulls open the door, causing a burst of frosty air to hit us. "Soda?"

"Yeah."

"Max?"

"Do you have any juice?"

He looks into his refrigerator, then shoots me a look. "Orange."

"Blech."

"You get water."

"Aaron, you gotta do me a favor," Fang says, polishing off his second piece of pizza. He reaches over me into the other box to grab two pieces of supreme.

"What?"

"Max has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. At two. Can you take her?"

"Why can't you?" Aaron asks, not unkindly. "Work?"

Fang nods. "I can't keep coming up with excuses to get out of work. And she's not allowed to fly there."

I roll my eyes. _Yes, please keep talking about me like I'm not here_.

He ignores that. Of course.

"I'll take her," Aaron says. "Nothing gross, right?"

"Nope, not this time," I promise, rolling my eyes. "What, did Fang tell you?"

Aaron looks at me in shock. "No, my sister did. About her own hellish experience. You made him _go _through that?"

I snort. "Yeah, it was _so hard _for him to sit there and watch. He's such a trooper. He got a sucker and everything."

Aaron looks totally affronted.

"Freakin' babies."

• • •

The next day, Aaron parks in the doctor's office parking lot. He looks at me as he turns off the car.

"So, you get to, like, see the baby today? Like, in the movies? On the little screen thing?"

I nod patiently. "Do you want to come in?"

He hesitates. He was planning on staying in the car, but I think his curiosity is convincing him to come with me. He unbuckles his seatbelt. "What the hell. Sure."

I grin. Aaron comes in with me. We're a couple minutes late, so as soon as I sign in with the secretary they take us back into a room.

"Who's this?" Cathy asks kindly when she comes in. Her hair is pulled back in a messy braid. She reaches out to shake Aaron's hand. He looks totally lost.

"Aaron," I say. "Friend. Fang couldn't drive me today."

"Friend?" Aaron scoffs, rocking on his feet uncomfortably. "More like uncle. Or…godfather."

I roll my eyes. "That's so not up to me."

Aaron rolls his eyes right back. "That's exactly what Fang said."

"Okay! Well, how are you feeling?" Cathy asks. I make a face at her and she laughs. "Tired of that question yet?"

"God, I haven't even told my entire family yet and I feel suffocated. I can't even imagine when my mom finds out…"

Cathy purses her lips. "Still haven't told her yet, huh?"

"No," I say. "I'm waiting until after graduation."

She smiles lightly at me. "You know…that's not going to fool her, right? She'll know that it happened before graduation. You're already nearly three months along, Max."

I feel my cheek get hot. "I _know_. I just…I just needed to give myself some time before I tell her."

"Well, she'll be happy to know that you've been getting regular check ups. And she'll be glad to know that you've been on the prenatal care plan since you found out. Most kids who hide it from their parents go a long time without taking the proper vitamins and nutrients."

"Yeah, well…Fang's practically a drill sergeant. And Fang, combined with this kid," I say, pointing accusingly across the room at Aaron, "and my brother…I'm under lock and key. No worries."

She smiles. "Big brothers can be protective."

All I can see in my head is moments when Iggy was _not _protective of me. Pushing me off the roof when we first moved in to our house. Flinging burning hot spaghetti sauce at me and saying "_Get out of my kitchen_!" Tripping me down the stairs because he's bored.

"I'm the oldest," I say instead. She smiles.

"Today, sonogram and routine tests, just to make sure everything is alright. I've got some questions, so…either Uncle here can sit through them, or we can make him leave for privacy."

I shrug. "I'm fine," I say.

"Okay. In the past few weeks, have you felt any unshakable feelings of anxiety or stress?"

I sigh. "No? There's a little stress at home, but nothing huge. Just the normal stuff."

Cathy nods. "Okay. Well, have you felt depressed in the past few weeks? Loss of interest? Motivation?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. I've been worried about Fang and stressed about the secret, but nothing that intense. "Not at all."

Cathy types something into her computer. "Good. Have you noticed anything about your body that worries you or raises any questions?"

I sigh again, and look down at my body for obvious answers. I come up with, "I pee a lot."

"That's completely normal," Cathy says, still typing. She looks up at me. "Inconvenient, though, huh?"

I laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."

I have no valid excuse to use the bathroom twice in one class period. My teachers probably think I have an overactive bladder or something.

"Anything else?"

I shrug. "I think it's all normal stuff. I get tired faster. I'm totally, ridiculously emotional. Like, I almost can't function sometimes. Gazzy yelled at me the other day for being annoying and I almost burst into tears."

Aaron snorts from his corner. I look at him insistently. "I swear! And what he said wasn't even that mean!"

Cathy smiles. "All normal. Feels like someone hijacked your body, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it's terrifying sometimes," I say, leaning back against the chair. "This kid is completely in control."

"Have you been sexually active?"

My tongue clicks against the roof of my mouth. I'm suddenly totally aware that Aaron is here. I try not clam up. _Everyone in this room knows you have sex. You're pregnant, for fuck's sake_. "Uh…"

Cathy nods again, trying not to let her smile show. "Okay."

"Is that bad?" I ask. "I told him it wasn't bad. But, uh…I'm a little more…_up for it_, now. Like…more often."

"Nothing abnormal about an increase in libido," Cathy reassures me clinically. _Increase in libido_. Definitely not how I'd explained my horny feelings to Fang. I need to tuck that one away for later. "Is it uncomfortable?"

"Uh, nope," I say quickly. Maybe too quickly. "It's…" _Fucking awesome_? I don't know, what's the appropriate, adult answer?

Cathy doesn't let me finish. "Gotcha."

"When exactly is that bad? Sex during pregnancy, I mean."

She looks at me thoughtfully. "Honestly? So far you've had a relatively normal pregnancy for a very abnormal situation. Your pregnancy isn't progressing too fast or too slow, and the baby seems healthy. For most women with normal pregnancies, it all depends on what they're comfortable with. If you want to keep having intercourse, you just have to be careful of how you do it. And if there are any side effects or things that come along, just be sure to call me and let me know. Bleeding is not a good sign."

"There hasn't been any bleeding," I say. "Cramping, though…"

"That's not unheard of. You know what? I'm going to give you these," she says, pulling a couple pamphlets out of her desk, "and if you have any questions after that, email me or call me. Okay?"

I smile. "Okay."

"Now," she says, her eyes scanning the screen of her computer. "Appetite?"

"I eat a lot still. Our regular is around three to four thousand calories, but I'd say I'm around the three range? Just…because of the weight gain."

Cathy's mouth twists for a second thoughtfully. "Weight gain is healthy. Dieting not to gain weight isn't always the best, especially because you aren't just cutting off your nutrients, but the baby's also. If you're doing this because you don't want people to find out…"

I frown, feeling a little reprimanded. "Okay. So I need to start eating more?"

"Well, don't overeat," Cathy says. "Just…don't starve yourself. We talked about the diet that you needed to follow, with less caffeine? More fruits and grains?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Calcium, too. And I know you hate milk. Try…broccoli."

"Okay. I can do broccoli."

"Okay. Now. Flying."

I groan. "Fang told me you were going to do this."

"Your pregnancy has been normal so far, but there are so many unknowns…I want to put an end to the flying. At least make it less frequent, and for shorter periods of time. Nothing longer than an hour. And…when you hit the middle of your second trimester, I want you grounded. Always. Just for precautionary measures, okay?"

I nod, chewing on my cheek. Fuck that. That _sucks_.

Cathy glances over her shoulder at Aaron, who's listening intently.

"Will you be able to enforce those rules, Uncle?"

"We'll pick up some broccoli on the way home," Aaron assures her, sinking back in his chair comfortably.

I roll my eyes.

"Okay. Now for the fun part!" Cathy quickly checks my vitals again - blood pressure, heartbeat, lungs, etc. When she tells me to roll up my shirt, I call Aaron over.

"C'mere," I say, pulling my sweatshirt off and rolling up my tank top. It's tight enough on my bump that it can hold itself up. Aaron comes over and I point at the small screen and tell him to watch.

"Oh, shit," I whisper when Cathy squeezes that damn cold gel on my belly.

"Always colder than the first time, huh?" she laughs, getting right to work trying to find the best angle.

"Anything's better than the pelvic exam," I say, my hands still clutching the chair. I laugh breathlessly. "I mean, _anything_."

She laughs, too. "Yeah, those suck. I know."

"What the hell!" Aaron stares at the screen intently, like it's some dorky video game he and Ig play. "Max!"

"I know," I say, staring at the screen, too. He's very wiggly, today; constantly moving and kicking. I can't really feel it, yet, though.

"Is it weird? That I can't feel the baby moving?" I ask Cathy.

She turns to face me. She shakes her head. "No, that's common. It'll feel very light at first, like a little twitches or butterflies. But towards the end," she smiles wide, "he'll pack a punch."

"_He_?" Aaron asks excitedly. He squeezes my shoulder.

I shrug, watching Cathy move the wand against my skin. "We don't know yet. That's just what Fang's defaulted to. It catches on."

"Okay, here's the head," Cathy says, pointing out the roundness to Aaron. "This is an arm, and then here are the legs…the other arm. He's quite the acrobat today."

I grin. "Cath?"

"Yeah, Max," she says, practically reading my mind. She grins, too. "If I'm right, those are the wings."

It's barely a blur on the back of my small alien baby, but the fact that she sees it too makes me so happy. The wings may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but flying is such a special experience…

"Do you want pictures again?" Cathy asks. "I think Uncle does."

Aaron nods, his eyes still trained on the screen. "I do. I really do. Thanks."

Cathy goes off to print the pictures and Aaron looks at me, letting out a breath. "Wow. You aren't just getting fat. There's actually a tiny little addition to the family in there."

"Crazy, right?" I comment, wiping the gel up with a paper towel.

"It _is _crazy, Max. It's crazy we haven't wrapped you up in bubble wrap and locked you away for the next six months."

"It feels like you already have!"

"You are the clumsiest person I know!" Aaron says back. "You need to be extra careful!"

I grin. "Thanks for coming with me, Uncle."

"Godfather."

"Yeah, we'll see."

• • •

We start heading home during rush hour, and we're sitting in Aaron's car in dead-stop traffic when it hits me.

"We'll never be normal again."

Aaron turns down the music and looks at me. "What?"

I snort, closing my eyes. "I spent the last year just trying to get everything back to normal. With Fang and the kids…trying to just get us back to how it used to be. Now…we're never going to be normal. It'll _never _be how it used to be."

Aaron looks out at the traffic ahead of us, slowly creeping over the hill. "You're right."

"I know," I say, looking at him out of one eye before closing it again. "No more parties, no more just us as kids. Fang and I are going to be parents. Like, for real. With a baby."

Aaron doesn't say anything, and for a moment I'm convinced he won't. Then he sighs. "Max, look at me."

I do. I open my eyes and look at him. I feel like we've all grown up in the past year - and I mean, really grown up. Dealing with Fang's kidnapping, his recovery, and this baby has sent us all into adulthood way early. Aaron looks into my eyes, dead serious.

"If you could, would you go back and change it?"

Go back and not get pregnant?

Not have to hide from my family and my mom and my friends at school?

Not have to dress for November in the middle of May?

Not have to watch what I eat and how I react and when I fly?

"No," I whisper quietly.

Aaron smiles gently. "I know. _So_," he says, "yeah, you and Fang will be parents. And we'll all be aunts and uncles, and a really special one-" I roll my eyes through the tears welling "-will be the godfather. But when you feel like you're way too old to have fun anymore, we'll let Nudge or Ella or Val babysit and we'll take you out and let you get down with your crazy, funky self. Okay?"

I laugh, wiping my eyes. "Okay."

"Okay," Aaron says, nodding shortly. "I'm turning the music back up, if that sappy moment is over."

He reaches forward and turns the dial up, drowning out the sound of honking and running vehicles with rock music.

I lean forward on impulse and turn it back down, then ask hysterically, "What if Fang doesn't want me anymore?"

Aaron groans, slapping a hand over his face. "Oh, fucking hell."

A laugh bursts out from my chest, sounding thick with tears and ridiculously emotional. "I'm just kidding." I grin at him and turn the music back up, and he looks at me for a second before he laughs, too. It's clear on his face: _That was a close one. _


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Last chapter for a week and a half. SORRY. I will pick up again hopefully on the sixteenth of July. **

**Lustrex: Yes, Aaron is pretty good at adapting to their shit, but this is a big game-changer for everyone. Thanks! I think we all missed Aaron a little bit. **

**Hagbre5498: Haha, yes! They're all researching, now. Thanks so much. And you reread TAoD? That's one of my favorites, so I'm glad! Since I love, love, love Parks and Rec, I'll have to look it up! Is it on Netflix?**

**Awesomealpha11: Thanks!**

**Guest: I'm glad! I tried to paint that picture for you. Fang's nightmares will become a problem soon. Thanks!**

**Loserlovereadin: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!**

**Nola96: Oh, I know, I feel like we've been lacking in Aaron screen-time. He and Max really do have a dynamic relationship - they've been through too much to not be super-duper close. Especially all of the time they spent together when Fang was gone. Thanks! I really appreciate the feedback! I love when you point out your favorite parts. Ha! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yeah, no one is perfect. Thank you!**

**FaxFiction: Well, Max is tiny. Her stretch marks will probably _not_ be tiny. As far as her not caring about them, since she has so many other scars…I can see that, I guess. She's at the stage of pregnancy where she doesn't feel glowing and pregnant, she just feels like ridiculously bloated and weird. She'll get a little more glowy as the story wraps up. Right? I've always loved that about Fang, that he was like the little researcher of the Flock. Like, he knew random tidbits of information, and that was usually his only input on conversation with the kids. I feel like Fang would stumble upon big scientific words, and he'd look them up, and then he'd be horrified. Oh, and Angel's in this chapter, so we do hear from her. Thank you for the awesome review! You always give me so many points to respond to! As for how many more chapters? We're getting close. I'll let you know when the last chapter is finalized, because I may split it into two. This is definitely going to be my longest story, so…thanks. Haha!**

**Stormchase4533: Yes, Dr. M is kind of an angel. Cathy didn't get weird on Aaron! Haha, that'd be a mess. No, Aaron and Max needed this time I think, without the weirdness. I'm glad you liked it! I did read MRF… my opinions are not positive. I just…GAH. PM me. **

**Thanks loves. **

**No beta. Sorry for typos. **

**Read on!**

MAX

"_Fang_!"

It takes him a whole minute to make his way to me, and when he does he bursts through the door of our bedroom, his head wet from his shower. He'd thrown on his sweats, but not a shirt. His chest was still glistening, as if he hadn't paid much mind to actually drying off.

"What?"

"We're you just in the shower?" I ask. "It could've waited…at least until you dried off."

"When you scream like a banshee, I expect something to be wrong."

Oops. I guess his mind jumped to other scary conclusions, like his pregnant fiancée being in some dire situation or something. "Sorry. Will you come here and help me?"

He looks at me like I'm nuts. He thinks, _Next time you need my help with something that's not killing you, don't scream_. I shrug. He goes back to the bathroom, and comes back with a towel, still towel-drying his hair and shoulders. He closes the door and comes over to me. I open the pamphlet again, and say, "Okay, so it wants you laying here facing me."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "What does?"

"Cathy gave me this pamphlet on good pregnancy sex positions, but there are no pictures and it's worded weird. I'm just trying to get a good picture in my head. Come on, lay down."

As he lays next to me, I explain, "I'm not supposed to lay on my back during sex past the second trimester. The bad thing is, that's usually how we do it. The good thing is, this a perfect opportunity to try fun stuff. There's one in here called _Frisking_-"

Fang gets comfortable, on his side facing me. "Your _doctor _gave you that?"

"Yeah," I say. I look down at the pamphlet. "You're supposed to put your leg over mine…Um…This doesn't make sense."

Fang puts his leg over mine, reaches down and pulls one of mine up a little. "Like this?"

I look at him. "Does it feel like a sex position?"

Fang frowns down at our entwined bodies thoughtfully. "Maybe. What else is in there?"

"A lot of ones for me on top. Some on all-fours…a couple meant for the couch. These all sound really labor-intensive, though. Oral is in here, but that's not _really _a position." I sigh. "Isn't pregnant sex supposed to be, like, lazy and easy?"

"Maybe for you," Fang says, rolling his eyes.

"The spooning one is in here, but we already practiced that one."

"Go us."

"Oh, here's one. Okay…so I lay propped against a pillow…"

I situate myself, propping a pillow under my left hip. Apparently, if I lay on my back for any extended amount of time later on in the pregnancy, my baby can put too much weight on veins in my back. No good.

"Now you…well. Okay, sit kind of right there, but put one of your legs over me…"

Fang looks at me in confusion. "What?"

"It's scissors, Fang. Just…our legs have to go like this," I say, making crude hand motions.

Fang snorts. "Okay, I veto this position."

"What? Why? You haven't even tried it yet."

"Max. I have an idea." Fang gets off the bed and grabs my ankles in his hands. "Grab your pillow."

I grab my pillow. He pulls me down towards the foot of the bed by my ankles. His hands reach around me and stack the pillows, then he makes me lean back against them. When I'm propped up, he grabs my legs and pulls them up around his waist.

"This work?"

I nod, my eyes wide. "This was in the pamphlet I think. Except I was more like…this." I unwrap my legs and push my feet until my ankles rest on his shoulders. I flip through my pamphlet, looking for the description. "That way I can control the…the…oh, the _depth of penetration_."

I give him an example. Fang groans, grabbing my hips. "See? We'll be fine. But we're looking into those 'all-fours' positions you mentioned, later."

I smirk and crawl back up the bed, sitting against the headboard comfortably.

"This is an interesting way to get ready for graduation," Fang says, sitting next to me. "Nervous?"

"Easiest part of the past four years, right?" I sigh, closing my eyes. And then, what comes after. Telling my mom. Telling the flock. I made Fang wait this long to tell everyone, and he won't want to push it off much more. Hopefully I can talk him into waiting until the younger kids are out of school, in a week.

"It'll be fine," Fang reassures. "Just don't trip."

I groan. "Right."

"Two hours of sitting through the ceremony and we're free," he says positively. "Don't worry about it. It'll be over before you know it."

"And then?"

Fang looks at me, reading me like an open book. "You still want to wait," he assesses. "To tell them."

I look at him miserably. "I don't really want to keep hiding it. I'm just afraid of the actual confession. I wonder what would happen if we just stopped hiding it. We never told anyone, never made an announcement, but we just…weren't secretive. How do you think that'd go?"

"We aren't doing that."

I frown at him, as hard as I can.

"Stop worrying so much."

"You know what would help me stop worrying?" I ask, peeking at him.

Fang rolls his eyes dramatically at me. Yes, his life is _so _hard. He has a girl who constantly wants to sleep with him.

The horror.

"We aren't having sex right now."

"Why not?" I ask. "We have at least an hour before my mom gets here! I'll be quiet…"

Fang narrows his eyes at me. "You will not."

I grin. "We can try one of our pamphlet positions…"

"And if we do it wrong and I hurt you?" Fang challenges.

I sit forward, leaning toward him. That wasn't a _no_. "They aren't all that confusing."

"I don't think it's a good idea…"

"We can use the sex dice again…" I trail off temptingly. "Remember? _Partner's choice_?"

I can feel his resolve slipping. He's trying to be the good guy here, but I know that I'm seconds away from breaking him. I bite my lip and reach out to him, scooting closer on the bed. I can already see him just giving in, rolling me on top of him and having his way with me. I can already feel the wood of our headboard under my fingers while I move with him, the warmth of his breath on my lips, the delicious fullness of him pushing inside me-

Someone bangs loudly on the - _locked _\- door. We're learning, slowly. "Nap time's over, kiddos! We've got lunch reservations at noon and graduation at two, let's move it!"

"Damn it, Aaron," I groan, rolling onto my back. This is just plain ridiculous.

"What was that?" he asks cheekily, being an ass on _purpose_.

"Nothing! Go away!"

I don't hear him anymore, so I'm convinced he's gone. Despite how close Fang was to giving in, he's been pulled out of it. He stands up, moving to get his clothes out of the closet.

"Later?" I ask. "Please?"

He looks at me as he pulls off his shirt, tossing it in his hamper. "Go take a shower."

I sit up and glare at him. "I'm actually in shock at how many times you've turned me down for sex. Like, that's my job. I'm the one who's supposed to not like it."

"Okay, one," Fang says, his head buried in the closet, "thanks a lot. Two, sorry I don't want everyone - including Val - to hear you screeching."

"I don't fucking screech."

"You aren't _quiet_. It's not like I've even been holding out on you. It's been like five hours. What gives?"

"It's not my fault! It's the baby!"

"The baby wants us to have sex?" Fang asks incredulously.

"Ew, don't be gross."

Fang rolls his eyes, laying out his nice shirt and pants on the bed by my feet. "Do you know where my tie is?"

I ignore him, leaning forward to threaten, "Ya know, one day I'm going to turn you down for sex, and then you're going to regret this."

"Okay."

"I'm serious! I'll get you all riled up, too!"

He leaves the room saying, "Okay, Max."

• • •

While we all get ready to leave the restaurant after dinner, I get up and excuse myself to the bathroom. Angel pipes up that she has to go, too, and follows me down the dim hallway to the women's room.

"You pee a lot," Angel says brightly as I leave the stall.

I look down at her. "No kidding."

"Nudge asked me if I knew why you bought a new dress," Angel says casually, watching me wash my hands. "I had to lie."

I had to buy a new dress for graduation because the other one showed my slight bump. I wasn't about to tell everyone _that _way, so I went out to buy myself a less revealing dress a couple days ago. It's a tank top dress, navy blue with no real waistline, so it doesn't show how flat my stomach _isn't_. It's not the fanciest graduation outfit, but it works.

I pump soap into my hand, frowning. "I'm sorry, babe. You won't have to keep my secret much longer. I promise."

Angel's face brightens with excitement. "You're going to tell everyone?"

"Probably at the end of the week. I can't hide it much longer," I say, less than enthused about it. Angel is the exact opposite. She can barely contain _her _enthusiasm.

"Good," she says, sighing. She flashes her teeth at the mirror and picks at something stuck between her teeth before turning to smile at me again. " I can't keep lying to the others."

I rinse the suds off my hands. "I didn't mean to put you in that position, Ange."

"I know," she says lightly, still smiling slightly. "I knows its been hard. I'm excited, though. And you are, too. Admit it."

I bite my cheek, grinning at her. "Okay, I am. You got me."

"It's kind of cool," Angel says, pumping the handle on the paper towel dispenser and ripping me off a sheet. "You get the chance to give your baby everything we never got. Like, real Christmases, and birthday parties with friends from school…"

"I guess that's true," I say, wiping my hands.

"And two parents," Angel says. I look at her, and there's nothing malicious there - just genuine excitement. And, if I really look, a little bit of sadness. "Real parents. It won't be an orphan, you know?"

I roll up my paper towel and throw it away. It hurts my heart to hear her say that, to know she feels that way. Even though it'd be ridiculous if she had _no _feelings like that. Just because things are okay now doesn't mean she can't miss what she never had. And yes, growing up we'd dubbed ourselves a million things: hoodrat kids, pesky bird-kids, and the ever popular _orphans_. But no. It was never true. Not for any one of them.

I bend down to her level, looking her dead in the eye. She's getting taller - I no longer have to squat to be eye-level with her.

"You've never been an orphan, Angel," I say honestly. "Not since the day I met you. Got it?"

She lets out her breath in a short little puff, then nods. Her skinny but strong arms fly around my neck and squeeze me into a hard hug. I let her, and I hug her back as hard as I can, trying to say with that hug everything I don't have time to say.

• • •

"Are you excited to graduate, Max?" Emma asks, getting out of Fang's car. I close my car door, grinning down at her.

"Why, are _you _excited to sit through a boring two-hour ceremony?"

Emma shrugs. "No. Gazzy and I brought cards."

"You can't play cards! Gazzy's too competitive. He'll end up yelling about how he's not winning during the valedictorian's speech."

Emma frowns. "We're just going to play Go Fish."

Nudge shrugs, standing on her tip toes and reaching forward to tuck Iggy's shirt tag into his collar as he walks in front of her. "Doesn't matter what game it is. Gazzy is crazy competitive about games. They all are," she says, pointing collectively to the male half of the flock.

"What, and you guys aren't? I clearly remember Max flipping the _Monopoly _board on me when I won free parking three times in a row," Iggy says, grinning.

"I was twelve," I say in my defense, zipping myself into my horrendous graduation gown. "And he was cheating."

"We can still play, Em," Gazzy whispers. "I'll tone down the competitiveness, just this once."

She smirks.

The actual ceremony of graduation is a blur of pre-written fancy-pants speeches and mispronounced names. Fang, Holden, Iggy and I are all in a row (since we all took my last name), in that exact order. Aaron is up in the Cs, and when he gets up there he does his very own handshake with the principal and everything. Because that's just who Aaron is.

Iggy whoops so loud for him it nearly scares the piss out of me. The entire time, I sit and worry that my cap will fall off as I walk or I'll trip going up the stairs to the stage or, the worst of all, someone will scream, "_Look, Max is pregnant_!" All of them are highly unlikely, the last one especially, and yet I can't help but worry about it. I'm so worried about fucking up that I barely, _barely _hear Fang shout for me when it's my turn. When I make it across stage successfully, having shaken everyone's hands and smiled at all the right moments without fail, I'm shockingly proud of myself.

We throw caps. We celebrate. We hug and punch shoulders and laugh and it's so blissfully normal for a second. Aaron catches me way off guard by picking me up and swinging me around. When he sets me back on my feet I have to hang on to his shoulders while I get my balance back.

"You made it, Ms. Ride! What do you plan to do next?" He looks so goofy, holding his hand under my mouth with an invisible microphone, grinning like an idiot. My smile droops, because truthfully, the thought that comes to mind when I think "post-grad" is "telling my mom the truth which quite possibly may crush her heart."

I can't do it.

Oh, _fuck_, I don't think I can do it.

_We don't have to, _Fang thinks to me. I look up, find him a few feet away, watching me with a sudden look of understanding on his face. _Not here. Not until you're ready. _He makes his way over to me and wraps me up, sliding his arms around my waist. I turn my head and let him press a kiss to my lips gently. I try to calm down. We can't hide it from her forever. I need to just figure out the best place to tell her. Maybe this weekend, when we come over for dinner? Maybe tomorrow, I can go over to her house to talk to her in private?

_How are we going to tell her, Fang? Send her an announcement in the mail?_

Fang snorts behind me, kissing the top of my head. _We'll just…tell her, I guess. _

We don't get much time to plan it. We're suddenly ambushed by the family, arm's squeezing around me so fast I don't have time to make sure they're avoiding my bump. Nudge laughs loudly at something Aaron does, and Angel steals Fang's cap to place on her own head. Gazzy and Emma are talking animatedly to Holden, who's already posing for a picture with Ella and Iggy.

"Max."

I look up. Mom's pushing her way through the mass of families and friends, coming straight for us. Fang lets go of me and Mom pulls me into her, wrapping me up in a big bear hug.

She sighs. "I love you, Max. I'm so proud of you."

I give her a squeeze, closing my eyes tight as I hold on to her. "Thanks, Mom."

She pulls back, looks at me with slightly narrowed eyes, as if reading me. Then she sighs, and says quietly, "You're going to be a great mother, honey."

I think it knocks the wind out of me. My first instinct is that someone told her, because _what the hell_? Since when is my mother _psychic_? I mean, sure, mother's intuition is one thing, but…I thought we'd done pretty well at hiding it!

"W-What?" I can't help but look at Fang, who's just totally floored.

_She knows? _he thinks dumbly to me, still staring in surprise.

"You think I haven't been pregnant before?" Mom asks conspiratorially in my ear, laughing a little. She lets go to hug Fang, who's stiff at best. In his defense, I can see in his head he's still trying to process the fact that my mother has been on to us, and all of our excuses and lies were probably fucking hilarious to her. Fang blinks and wraps an arm around her, smiling a little at something she says to him I can't here. He looks at me meaningfully over her shoulder before she's spinning back around to look at me.

"Mom!" I cry, still not fully getting it.

She laughs for real this time. "I could tell. I could tell it all."

"Why didn't you say something?" I demand hysterically, letting her hug me again. "I was so fucking stressed about hiding it from you."

She rubs my back, still smiling despite my complete unravel of emotions. "Honey…why didn't _you _say something? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I thought you'd be mad at me," I whisper. I feel like this would be a wonderful time for my hormones to torture me, but I'm so relieved and happy that I can't cry. "I made Fang promise not to tell."

"I wanted to tell," Fang adds in there. "For the record."

"Be _mad _at you?" Mom strokes my hair gently, the absolute embodiment of comfort and acceptance. "Sweetheart… Have you been to the doctor? Do you have a picture?"

I pull back in surprise. Not the first question I expected. "On me? I don't…"

"I have one," Fang says. He reaches through the hole in the side of his gown and pulls his wallet out of his pocket. From his leather wallet he retrieves a small, folded sonogram picture. My heart squeezes.

"We have non-creased ones, at home," I say. She doesn't seem to care about the creases, though.

Mom's eyes absolutely light up, looking down at it. She squeezes my hand in hers, smiling. We can't talk about it now, not with the others all around, but she whispers, "We'll talk later, okay?"

I nod right before sixteen conversations begin at once. While everyone talks about this and that, I meet Fang's eyes over the herd of chatting family members.

He smiles lopsidedly at me, and I feel okay. Maybe better than okay.

_That wasn't so hard, _I think carelessly, and Fang snorts.

• • •

"_Screw you_, Fang. Seriously. You are the absolute worst."

Fang does not like that one bit. "I had to say something, or he'd be assaulting you on your next date. You're welcome."

"Maybe I _wanted _him to assault me," Nudge says back. Her eyebrows crease, as if she's just heard what she said out loud and she's regretting it.

"Do you hear yourself?" Fang asks.

"You aren't in charge of my life, Fang! Back off! When a guy can't even talk to me without flinching, you've gone too far!"

"I just told him to be good to you," Fang says, shrugging.

"Bullshit!"

"Nudge, watch your mouth."

She ignores me. I tune them out, or try to. Unfortunately, the only other thing to listen to at dinner tonight is the jealous fight between Gazzy and Emma. They're both "dating" other people, and we all know dating at twelve-years old means that you sit together at lunch. Either way, it's a big deal to them, and they seriously won't stop yelling.

"I don't even know why she would talk to you, because you're so immature. Seriously, Gazzy? Really?"

"What?" Gazzy demands. "What's wrong with her?"

"You _know _I don't like her!"

It goes on and on. Holden looks like he's gone to his happy place, ignoring literally every sound at the table. Iggy looks about ready to blow a gasket, his eyebrows creased and his mouth turned down into a frown. Angel has resorted to covering her ears against the constant bickering, both inside and outside of her head.

I've had enough.

I drain my water, then slam the empty glass onto the table. The noise makes everyone jump, especially Holden, who gets knocked out of his trance with a short yelp of shock.

"I'm pregnant."

I hear the words bounce around the room, ready to cause chaos. No one blinks or breathes or anything. It's completely silent. I stand up and leave the room immediately after, leaving Fang to deal with the consequences. Before I'm up the stairs, I hear, "_What_?"

_Thanks a lot, _Fang thinks sourly to me.

"Okay, I don't think we heard you," Gazzy calls casually. "Because _I _heard-"

"We all heard," Nudge interrupts.

"Wait a second -"

"_Max_!"

"Ask Fang!" I call, heading up the stairs. "I'm going to bed!"

That works for about three minutes. I get up to my room and changed into a nice big t-shirt. Just as I'm crawling under the covers, Fang comes in and flips the light on.

"No, no, no," he says, yanking the covers back. He grabs my wrist, his eyes blazing with severe irritation. "Come on. You get to deal with this, too."

And that's when I realize I'm engaged to Satan's spawn.

"_Fuck _no," I say, yanking my arm away. "You deal with it."

"You're the one who dropped the bomb!" Fang hisses. "We were waiting, remember?"

"I was annoyed," I say. "Felt like as good a time as any."

Fang raises an eyebrow, like, _Well, how does it feel now?_

"Fuck. I don't want to."

"We're a team," Fang says, making stupid hand gestures. "A united front. A partnership. Put some fucking pants on and come downstairs."

Fang forces me into a pair of sweats, then tugs me down stairs and into the living room, where a bunch of confused, rowdy children are demanding answers.

"Would someone like to explain what's happening?" Nudge says, looking at us expectantly.

I look at Fang, waiting for him to pipe up. When he doesn't I sigh and throw my hands into the air. "Okay, whatever, I'm pregnant. In a couple months, we'll have a new flock member."

I turn on my boyfriend. "Happy?"

Fang makes a face at me. "No." He still stand stoically near the edge of the conversation, arms crossed over his chest. _United front _my ass.

_Fuck you, Fang. We're a team, _remember_?_

He rolls his eyes at me.

" '_A couple months' _?" Emma asks in surprise.

" '_Whatever' _?" Holden adds with an skeptical tone.

Gazzy shakes his head. "How did _this _happen?"

I look at him, scrunching my nose up. "Gaz, gross."

Gazzy rolls his eyes. "Obviously this wasn't planned?"

I cross my arms. Fang intones from behind me, "Obviously."

"Well, what were you thinking?" Gazzy exclaims in shock.

I look at Fang, like, _wanna take that one?_

He looks at me without any facial expression. _Well, it wasn't, 'Damn, I need to put condoms on the grocery list.' _

I scoff. _I'm seriously going to hurt you._

"It's not going to get my room, is it?"

My shoulders drop and I sigh, my patience wearing very, very thin. I look back at the Gasman. "That's what you're worried about?"

He just looks at me with wide, give-it-to-me-straight eyes.

"No. The baby won't get your room. Are we all good here?"

Nudge explodes then. "No! Not all good! One, why the hell didn't anyone tell me? Two, how long have you been hiding this? And three, why have Angel and Iggy been mysteriously quiet this whole time?"

No one says anything for a second. I blurt in defense, "Okay, _how _was I supposed to hide this from Angel?"

Nudge's eyes widen. "Oh, my God! I can't believe you guys!" She lets out a humorless laugh, then, and sinks back against the couch. "Now I know why Fang didn't want to talk to me about sex the other day."

"Ew, Nudge," Gazzy mumbles, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She ignores him.

"We kept it a secret," I say. "And I'm about four months."

"Four _months_!" Nudge looks at me, speculating. "I don't believe it."

I gape at her. "Nudge-"

"I call bullshit!"

I grit my teeth and lift the bottom of my shirt, revealing the slight but very obvious curve. Everyone collectively goes silent.

"Oh."

"Wow," Emma whispers.

"I know, right?"

"Did Ella know too?" Nudge asks hotly, still pissed that she wasn't told.

I grimace, suddenly reminded that I still had to tell someone else. "No. She doesn't know yet." Nudge relaxes a little, once she realizes she wasn't the only one left out. At least she didn't ask about Aaron.

"If all the excitement's over, I'm going to bed," Iggy says, getting up out of the recliner.

"Good idea," I say, clapping my hands together. "Everyone stop _staring _at me. Go to bed."

Slowly they filter out of the room, still processing this life-changing news. It'll hit them probably sometime tomorrow morning. Just like it did for me.

I turn to Fang, still glaring. He stares back at me from his spot against the wall.

"A team, huh? A united front?"

Fang's lips tip up into a smirk. _Freakin' jerk._

"Doesn't it feel better?" Fang asks knowingly. "To not have to lie anymore?"

Right now it feels nearly as stressful. "I guess so. I'm actually going to bed now," I say pointedly. I point at him and say, "You're half of the _united front _can sleep on the couch tonight."

I make it up to our room and close the door. I flip the lock and tug off my sweats, turning off the lights to crawl back into bed. When I turn around in the darkness, I bump straight into a firm, muscled form two inches in front of me.

"Holy-"

Fang covers my mouth to cut off my exclamation. He looks down at me seriously. "I'm not sleeping on the damn couch."

I glare at him. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness. "This is an abuse of your powers."

Fang dips a finger in the waistband of my underwear and responds quietly, "This is an abuse of yours."

I laugh, but it sounds really high and not like me at all. God, I need to control myself right now. "You remember when I said that one day, I'd turn you down for sex?"

Fang groans.

"Yeah. This is that time," I say, moving past him to crawl into bed. "Goodnight."

He lays down with me, in nothing but his boxers, and pulls me to rest my head on his chest. I bring the comforter with me and we curl up easily, our legs tangled.

"You're really going to prove this point, aren't you?" Fang says into the darkness.

"Yes," I say shortly, faking a snippy attitude. I trail my hand down his chest. "And then…in the morning, we're having sex."

Fang kisses my temple, then says meanly, "Well, fine."

"Fine."

**A/N: Questions. **

**1\. Anything we still want to see? I have a few big things still up my sleeve, but now is the last time to remind me of something I forgot to share with ya. **

**2\. What's your theory about Fang's dreams? I know it wasn't the focus in the chapter, but it comes back next chapter and pretty much stays with us. Any ideas? **

**3\. Epilogue. Aaron or Max POV? Vote please. I'm torn. **

**Thanks for reading, and dealing with my long break. The good thing is, it isn't a cliffhanger! Also, if I get some wonderful reviews while I'm on vacation, I'll update as soon as I get home because chapters 44 and 45 are prewritten. **

**If you really, really feel like hunting me down right now, just remember there are other Trilogy fixes out there. I have a pre-Consequences oneshot called **_**The Struggle**_**. Also, there are about four oneshots in the **_**Trilogy Outtakes**_** Collection. **

**I was planning on unveiling a lost chapter of MRF today as well, but I keep looking at my drafts and getting mad at JP for the last book and mad at myself for not being able to formulate words right and…so yeah. You guys don't get a lost chapter. I did, however, update **_**That Moment When**_**. **

**Since I'll be without a computer for a really long time, it'll be nice to hear from you guys. PM me! I know I have like four PMs to reply to, and that is exactly what I will do. From the beach. **

**See you in two weeks. **


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Sorry this is short. This chapter's kind of just a lead in to the last big hoorah of this story, so bear with me. We get some Val time, which is fun. **

**I squeezed it all down and fit it all in and it looks like it will be 50 chapters on the dot. So, that's exciting. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites and subscriptions while I was away! I'm sorry that I both did not respond to PMs or update on time like I said I would. I suck big time. Sorry. **

**BIG THANKS TO sexist piglet for giving me my 500****th**** review. I seriously never ever thought this story would get that much love. I don't even know what to say except thank you, and I owe you guys, like, everything. **

**Guest: Well, thanks so much! Here's that update, sorry it's late!**

**maximumride4ever: Don't worry…I think you'll be happy with the end of the story. Thank you!**

**sexistpiglet: Yeah, Aaron has a very complex relationship with them all, but mostly Max. At least they can bounce back. Technically six, counting Maya, but yes. You have to imagine she becomes sort of a pro after awhile! Haha. As for your comment on Valencia, I have to agree. JP gave her so much potential and never really expanded on her character much further than a few short, barely unique characteristics. I love playing with Val's character. I love playing with all of the less-major characters of the canon series. It's so awesome to help develop them in your own way. I had a blast on vacation! I miss it already! Thank you so much for the double reviews - and for getting me to 500. I can't believe it. Wow!**

**Super lame dork: I feel like a jackass, addressing this response to "super lame dork." Haha. Your review was incredible! Very insightful, and I loved reading about the parts you thought were especially good - that's always awesome feedback, as a writer. Yeah, Max isn't strong enough right now to really deny Fang any fun time. Haha! If I hadn't already written the last lemon for this story, I'd definitely take your suggestion into consideration. I hope you like what I have in store, anyways! We'll definitely get more pregnancy milestones, so look forward to that! Fang's dreams aren't far off from your theory, so stay tuned. I've decided to kind of split the epilogue into two POVS, so I'm excited for that. Aaron's tall! I think I mentioned it forever and ever ago, in Choices. He's tall. As tall as Max, at least. Maybe a couple inches higher. Although you're right, if he were short, that would open the door to a whole different kind of hilarity. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE RAMBLING. I really enjoy reading it - you have no idea. I'm glad you liked it! **

**Flytothemax: Well, I can't write basically literally everything or this story will never end. Haha! But a lot of the things mentioned in your review(s) are making an appearance, so sit back and enjoy. I hope you love it. It was so fun to write. Seriously. Shockingly enough, I have Maya's birth written. It was a trilogy outtake that I never published. It was originally going to be one of Max's memories, but it just distracted so much from the plot and I took it out. It's sitting somewhere on my hard drive though. If I give it a look through, maybe it'll pop up one day. Thanks for the review!**

**Guest: Hmm…that's an interesting idea. I don't know how I would work that, but maybe we'll brainstorm it together. Got an account? PM me! Thanks so much for the comment. **

**Guest: Thank you! Glad you liked it. **

**DntlessAnnabeth: Yeah, Fang is definitely worried about that. His dreams go a little deeper, but…you'll see. Thanks!**

**Hgabre5498: Guess **_**what**_**? My house on the beach had Netflix. Guess what I watched! OMG! I'm glad you're feeling better, that's very good to hear. Thanks so much for the review, it really made my day. **

**Loserslovereadin: Yeah, they were kind of all over the place in this chapter! Haha. I kind of went with what you said…I'm splitting the epilogue. No worries - the ending is a happy one! Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: I'm glad it was satisfying! Ha! It was a real pain in the ass to write, because it was one of those scenes that you just **_**need **_**to get right. I'm glad you thought it worked. I mean, the nightmares aren't a totally out there idea, and it's not hard to guess what's going on there, but…I'm excited for that entire plot twist to unravel. Haha to your comment on the vision of Max in labor…I didn't even consider that. Jeez. That's a bit too harsh for the poor guy, I think. Sometimes I feel like I over do it with the contrasting emotions and moods of my chapters, so I'm glad you liked it. AND to answer your previous question: 50 chapters. I'm 99% positive. **

**Awesomealpha11: Thanks for the review! Hope you love the chapter. And yes, we'll see Max's POV in the epilogue. **

**RomitrilsMyMaximumMortalFlaw: Ha, I know right. This story is ridiculously long. We've still go quite a ways to go, but only one big twist left. One big moment left to fully wrap up Fang's healing process. And then I'm done, I promise! I threw in Aaron's POV in the epilogue because I agree - it's something different and fun. I like it. I love being able to give everyone a small glimpse into his mind. Thanks, you're **_**more **_**amazing. **

**Stormchase4533: Thank you so much! Hopefully we'll see a few of your requests…just have to wait and see. Thanks for the brainstorming on Fang's dreams - I love hearing your ideas. We'll definitely dip into Aaron's head for a while towards the end of the story. Exciting! **

**Nola96: I knew you'd like that scene! Haha! It was really, really fun to write. I'm so happy you like my portrayal of Val. She's so fun. Fang is going to get a little wishy-washy, these next few chapters. His behavior and his moods are going to really mirror what he was like in the beginning, and for good reason. He's warring with himself. I hope you like it! Thanks so much for the feedback!**

**TheWall1706: Both POVs is what I decided on, too. Sorry, this story needs to end. Like seriously. Thanks!**

**Resisting-Moonlight: Yep, they've finally told the others! I'm really, really excited to finally wrap up Fang's healing process. I hope you are, too. Glad you liked last chapter, it was a fun one to write! **

**M WARNING: Morning rendezvous. Not totally descriptive. **

**Read on!**

MAX

Fang wakes up the next morning to my leg sliding over his hip and my lips at his ear. "Does this constitute as _morning_?"

Maybe. Maybe not. It's only six thirty, and maybe I shouldn't be waking him up but I want him and he's restless in his sleep - it's hard to watch. His eyes twitch but don't open immediately, which worries me for a second. I kiss his cheek and then his chin, watching his face, watching as he surfaces to reality.

I let him wake up, become aware of his surroundings and my skin on his and the way his erection is pressing into my belly. I wait for him. He takes his time stretching around me, wrapping his arms around my middle, nuzzling my neck with soft, warm kisses.

We don't talk much. There's a lot I probably could say, but most of it would kill the mood. And though the lingering unease from his dream in his eyes is haunting me a little bit, I'll give this to him if he needs it. If he wants it. If he doesn't want to talk about it.

Although we both know the end goal, we don't rush towards it. We're still both sleepy, could probably sleep a couple more hours if we tried. But my body needs him, and his mind needs some freedom from the confines of sleep. So we move slowly against each other, doing whatever feels good. I drag my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly over his ears. I pull his mouth to mine and move my fingers to massage his neck and shoulders. Fang's hand runs up and down my thigh, his fingers digging into the soft flesh right under my ass. Fang's fingers slip down into my underwear and find the heated, slick flesh there, and I push my hips towards him, groaning.

"You can't be on your back?" Fang asks softly, his fingers rubbing torturously. I blink at him, trying to focus. His eyes glint in the darkness of our room.

"Um, probably not…unh-do _that_, like that, ohhh," I trail off in a moan. Fang's fingers just barely breach my entrance, nimbly swirling and dipping until I'm desperate, my muscles clenching frantically on nothing.

"Let me…be on top," I gasp, pushing his shoulders. Fang pulls his fingers out of my panties and shoves the elastic waistband down my hips and thighs, leaving them halfway down my legs for me to take care of. I do, ridding myself of them immediately. I crawl onto Fang's lap and pull off my t-shirt, too. Fang sits up underneath me, shifting me so I'm straddling one of his thighs. He's still got his boxers on, but I'm completely bare against the skin of his leg. I groan into his kiss, rocking slowly against him. Fang grips my hipbones, hard, shaking with feeling.

His hands leave hot trails up my sides until he cups my breasts in his hands.

"These are new," he says lightly, and I grin at him. I look down at the well-endowed chest in his hands and muse, "Yeah, those just popped up one day."

"Mmm, very beautiful," Fang murmurs, running his thumb over one of the peaks. It points up for him, hardening immediately. I groan, leaning forward to let him press his mouth to my skin.

"They're really sensitive," I advise in a soft voice. "No pinching. Just - oh, _fuck_. Yeah, that - that works." My head falls back and I stare at the ceiling, my mouth wide open in a silent moan, letting his mouth cover and take care of each nipple slowly. No nibbling or anything, just the gentle sweep of his tongue. His tongue circles the little point slowly and I rock on his leg harder, making a series of "uhs" and "ahs" while he works me.

He leaves two chaste kisses on my chest and then works his way back up, sucking for a second on the soft skin under my jaw.

"God, two years ago…I never would've even imagined us like this," I pant, my fingers canvassing his chest.

"I imagined enough for the both of us," Fang promises huskily, bumping his nose against mine and looking at me from under half-lowered eyelids. "Trust me." His fingers slide under me again, between myself and his leg, and two fingers probe my entrance. I lift up for him, tilt my hips forward, and let him wiggle his way inside. My forehead falls forward onto his chest, and I busy my mouth by kissing across his collarbone as he helps me ride his fingers.

Fang lays the back of his hand flat on his thigh and pulls me forward a little, so my clit rubs against his palm. I cry out, reaching down blindly to stroke him through his boxers while I grind myself into oblivion on his fingers.

"If you don't stop, I'm going to come like this," I pant, my teeth scraping his shoulder.

Fang spreads his fingers inside me, stretching me, and I nearly scream. My muscle spasm wildly and my breath catches.

"Do you want me to stop?" Fang asks in my ear.

I gasp, bucking against his hand. "_No_."

He stops anyways, gently pulling his fingers away from me. "You'll like this better."

I know what's coming next, so I don't argue. I help get out of his boxers, help him find me, and we slowly rock against each other until I'm settled in his lap, lost to sensation.

We don't talk. At this point, I don't think we need to. We melt into each other, moving in sync. I show him what I can handle, how far he can push me and how hard I can take it, and then he takes over. His mind is my mind, and we're so connected, so drowned in the act of making love that nothing else matters anymore. He's not thinking about his nightmares, and I know for a fact that I'm not, either.

It's a blur of needy touching, slow perfect thrusting and deep, passionate kissing. I haven't been this lost in him in a while. It's not every day that I can forget the responsibilities, forget the worry and the to-do list. Now I get to. I can bury my moans in his neck and I can scrape at his back with my nails, all while I forget that outside this bubble we've created, reality is not nearly as perfect as our sex life is.

I forget. I just let myself focus on _Fang_. I let myself focus on _us_.

And it feels beautiful.

• • •

Somewhere between this morning and lunchtime, Fang decides to retreat into his shell. His behavior lately has terrifyingly resembled his behavior immediately post-Evelyn. His mood swings, his closed-off composure. He's retreating into himself again. He's pushing me away.

Telling myself Fang will talk when he needs to has only made things worse. He doesn't. He doesn't come to me, he doesn't confide in me when he's feeling off. He blocks me, pretends things are fine. And lately, he sucks at pretending.

Frankly, one second he's normal - the next, he's a complete and utter dickhead.

"I really can't believe you didn't tell me," Nudge says, pulling me out of my worrisome thoughts. She says it nonchalantly, not trying to be a drama queen, but I can tell she's a bit hurt. She trusts me with nearly everything, and I couldn't tell her this. I doesn't really help that I didn't _tell _anyone else, either - they all just found out by being nosy sons of bitches. It still feels like betrayal to her, I think, and I know that dug under her skin. Especially because _Iggy _knew before her.

It's mid-afternoon, and Nudge and I are laying in the living room, watching reruns of some old sitcom and eating our way through a bag of animal crackers. She turns her head to look at me and I sigh heavily.

"I know," I say guiltily. "I'm sorry. It's just…It was hard for even _me _to face. When we found out…I mean, it took awhile for it to sink in. We didn't know how everyone would react."

Nudge's eyes soften slightly, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing. "Max…did you think we would judge you? Be mad at you?"

"I'm eighteen."

Nudge leans back against the couch cushion, shrugging. "Of course we'd support you no matter what. You know the saying, _It takes a village_?" She spreads her hands out, looking around at the empty room. "We're the village."

I laugh, nodding. "Yeah, I can see that now. I don't know, we just… wanted to wait for the right time. After all the school excitement had died down."

Nudge slowly eats through her cracker, looking at me with genuine curiosity. "Were you scared?"

"I still am," I laugh, looking at her like she's crazy. Then I get serious. "I'm freaking terrified, Nudge. I almost still can't believe it."

Nudge grins, looking down at my belly. Yeah, yeah - kind of hard to be in denial when all my clothes don't fit.

Nudge is so intrigued, as any other girl would be. The idea is nearly taboo for a sixteen year old, thinking about pregnancy so soon must be interesting as hell. She looks at me with wide eyes and asks, "What about Fang? How did he react?"

I bite my cheek, hesitating. "When we found out?"

"Yeah," Nudge says. "What did he say when you told him?"

I lift both my shoulders at her, frowning. "I didn't tell him. He kind of told _me_."

Her eyebrows bunch inwards, and she lets out a laugh. "What? How does _that _work?"

I lean back against the mountain of pillows, looking at her. "He'd had a hunch for awhile. I'd been getting sick, acting off my game. I think he'd had some more time than me to think about it before we found out. His first reaction when we found out was to calm _me _down."

Nudge doesn't say anything.

"He's happy. He says he's happy. But…"

"But what?"

"But we're kids. And we're kids with hard backgrounds. Fang just got through a really bad time in his life, and…he's worried."

"Well, that's natural, right?"

"Right." I grab another cracker and busy myself with eating it. Nudge turns back to the show.

Worrying for your fiancée and unborn child is normal. Worrying about your fathering skills is normal. Worrying that you have no idea what the fuck you've gotten yourself into is normal.

Worrying about paralyzing nightmares and distancing yourself from your girlfriend because something mysterious is plaguing your sleep? Not normal. Not the last time I checked.

"What does your mom think?" Nudge asks finally.

"I'm going to see her in a couple days, to talk to her. I told her yesterday, but…she says she's known for a while now."

"Wow," Nudge says, looking at me with a happy expression. "It's so great. I mean, really. It's really special that Dr. M is so supportive. You know? I mean, you guys are young, and it wasn't planned, but it doesn't have to be a mistake."

I run my fingers over my bump. "I think so, too." I look over at her, grinning. "As long as you promise to help me raise the baby."

Nudge puts her hand in mine, her face dramatically serious. "I will always be here for you _and _the baby."

I laugh, flicking an animal cracker at her.

Just then Fang comes down the stairs, the first time I've seen him since our moment this morning. He moves past us without a word and grabs a pair of sneakers by the door.

"Hey," I say, still laughing a little. I lever myself up a little. "Haven't seen you all day."

"Hey. Going out," Fang says, not looking at me. "I'll see you later."

He's blocking me out. He knows that if we get in close quarters alone, I'm going to force him to talk to me and share his feelings. He definitely doesn't want that, so instead he pushes me away. Yes, I understand why he's doing it, but I'm damn sure not happy about it. It hurts. I swallow down my disappointment and watch him go just as quickly as he came.

Nudge looks at me in surprise, sensing the tension. "What was that?"

I shrug, trying to bring my smile back despite the thoughts plaguing my mind. "Nothing." I try to shake it off, act like it was nothing, but Nudge isn't stupid.

"Is everything okay?"

I nod, forcing my lips to cooperate. I doubt my smile fools her. "Of course."

• • •

About three days later, the entire family knows. Telling Ella was interesting, and she forced Fang to leave so we could have "girl time" and then demanded to know every single thing. We're still trying to be discreet in public, just because I know the press will have a fucking holiday when they find out, and I want to push it off as long as possible.

Today, I'm at Mom's making cookies and having some one-on-one time. She's hitting me with a rapid-fire round of questions, wanting all the latest updates on the pregnancy.

"Fourteen weeks," I say, barely believing it. It sounds so unreal, I say it again. "Fourteen weeks, Mom."

Mom grins, pouring a decent amount of chocolate chips into our cookie batter, then handing me the bag. I take a handful and set the bag on the counter behind me.

"So, just barely four months?" Mom asks, stirring the batter. "And Catherine?"

"I've seen her at least four times since I found out," I say, leaning against the counter. "We've had two ultrasounds. Here, here's the second one - the one Aaron took me to. You can see the wings. Look."

Mom stares down at the picture, her eyes bright. "What'd she say about flying?"

"About another month of restricted flight and then I'm grounded," I say grudgingly. "Precautionary."

Mom shrugs. "Makes sense. No one really knows what to expect. Are you taking an folic acid supplements?"

I nod, helping her scoop the batter onto the pan. "Every day since we found out. And I mean, literally the day after I took the tests, Fang brought them home."

Mom smiles without looking up at me. "He's really be watching you like a hawk, hasn't he?"

I shrug. "I guess he finally has a reason to take care of me."

"I've noticed," Mom says. "The way he acts around you now. I mean, you two were always affectionate, but in your own way. You guys were friends, first, and anyone who could see was able to tell. But now he's careful with you. Gentle. And, yeah, protective."

I look down at the cookies of the sheet as she finishes scooping. Thinking over the past few days, the only word I can describe Fang's behavior with is _distant_. "He's definitely trying."

She doesn't say anything for a while, and then she says as casually as possible, "So. His nightmares."

Right. So I can finally talk to Mom about this, without skirting around the pregnancy. I stand up and move across the kitchen.

"They never fully disappeared, even after the episodes stopped, but…they started getting worse after we found out." I pull dough off my fingers and turn on the sink, washing the stickiness down the drain. "He keeps telling me that he'll talk when he's ready, but…he hasn't."

We slide the cookies into the oven, and then we retreat to the living room. I curl up on the couch and Mom sits beside me, allowing me to lean on her shoulder. We go back to our TV show, wiggling our way under the quilt she pulled out of the closet for us.

"He probably won't," Mom says, running her fingers through my hair gently. "He's too protective. He thinks he can handle it."

"He thinks it's saving me stress. But it isn't, Mom. I'm just freaking out more because he won't talk to me."

"Why don't you start the conversation? Have you tried that?"

"Yeah. Prom night. He…he told me he wasn't ready to talk, but that he'd come to me when he was. And now he barely talks to me at all…"

Mom stops untangling my hair, her concern clear in her voice. "He won't talk to you at all?"

"It's only been happening recently. Not even enough yet that I could argue it with him. He'd think I was just picking out little things to overreact about. He's…he's never there when I wake up anymore. He's back to his short responses, even with me. And yesterday he was barely home at all."

"You're going to have to talk to him, Max. Something big must be bothering him, you know? He wouldn't act that way if there weren't a reason."

"Yeah, you're right. You're right, again."

Mom grins. "I meant what I said the other day, at graduation."

"Oh, yeah?"

She kisses the side of my head, hugging me tight for a second. The solid, comforting hug of my mother is exactly what I need. I close my eyes and lean against her, feeling her warmth around me. "Yeah. I'm really proud of you."

She has no idea what those words mean to me.

• • •

I'm pissed when the first magazine cover surfaces. Nudge brings it home later that night, giving it to me gingerly, as if she knows it's going to set me off.

"We knew we wouldn't be able to hide it forever," Fang says, rubbing his hand on his forehead. He stares down at the tabloid, reading the cover. I don't think the words _Bird-girl Pregnant at Eighteen! _have ever been so hurtful. I guess the huge, bold yellow font helps.

His reaction pisses me off. Big time. This isn't some beautiful picture of me, announcing our miracle kid to the world - mostly because I'd never go for that, but still. It's a sniped picture of me and Nudge walking into a store on Fifth, and there's a crude red circle drawn around my bump.

"How are you the front cover with this picture?" Fang asks critically. "It could just be a bad angle of the camera…you don't even look that big."

I point furiously at the storefront Nudge and I are in mid-walk towards. _Beautiful Beginnings. _Seriously the dumbest name for a children's store, ever, but it's more than enough to back up their theory.

"Great," Fang grumbles, like this is _my _fault.

"Read it, Fang," I say miserably, sinking into the chair next to him.

His eyes scan the cover, his jaw clenched tightly as he goes. Words are splattered across the page: _Max ashamed? Hiding under bulky clothes! _and _Fang, nowhere in sight! _

"It's bogus, Max. They don't know anything, they're just making shit up."

I look at him, completely upset. Both about the magazine, and about the way he's brushing it off.

"I _hate _this," I say with feeling, stabbing the magazine with an accusing finger. "Look. It makes my pregnancy some fucking scandal. They're twisting it into something nasty and I _hate _it."

Fang turns to me. His eyes soften and he reaches for me, pulling my hand into his as he says, "I get that. But they don't know. _We _know the truth, and that's what matters."

"I don't care about our reputations," I mumble. "But I don't want our baby to be born into a world that think's he or she is a mistake. They're branding the baby with all these lies all ready and its not even born yet."

Fang kisses my forehead. "What can I do?"

I shrug, deflated. "Probably nothing." He pulls my chair closer to his and lets me lean on him, his fingers grazing the skin of my arm.

"Don't stress about it, Max. It's just one magazine."

I let out a long breath, trying to relax. He's wrong, really, because it isn't one magazine. It's the _first _magazine, of what will probably be many. And I've seen magazine gossip stories before - they aren't nice. Hell, this one accuses Fang of skipping out and paints me as depressed. I don't know how to fix this. I hate being a celebrity.

Before I can say anything else, the house phone starts ringing in the corner.

"People have been calling all day," I say drearily. "Wanting interviews."

Fang frowns. "Seriously?"

I nod. It's only going to get worse - we both know that. I remember the first few days after Fang's story came around, and we needed police to sit outside the house and escort reporters off our property. Luckily, they got tired of always seeing tightly shut blinds and no life on the front yard for an entire straight week, and they gave up.

"There's no way we can lock ourselves in the house forever," I say reasonably.

"Let's deal with that when we come to it," Fang says. "No one's camping out on the yard yet, so…just relax. I'll turn off the landline. You need some sleep."

He stands up, on a mission, and I sit at the table, watching him. I watch him quietly unplug the dock for the house phone, then take the batteries out of the phone itself. The he goes around, locking windows and pulling shut the curtains.

"Are you coming up soon?" I ask finally, when he locks the three bolts on the door.

"Not yet," Fang says shortly.

It's such a normal answer, but for some reason it bothers me. For some reason it feels like rejection. I go up to our room without another word and crawl into bed, still in my sweats and t-shirt. I sit for a second, struggle to pull my bra off under my shirt, then fling it across the room toward the dresser. I flop back into bed, and close my eyes, suddenly exhausted. I don't have time to worry about the press or the others or Fang.

I shut down my brain and refuse to think anymore. I go to sleep.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: This chapter is shitty and I am frustrated.**

**Super lame dork: You are a super star. I don't even deserve you. Thank you for taking the time to leave clever, detailed reviews on my chapters. I'm glad you love the dynamic relationship Valencia and Max have - it's very fun and unique to write. Also, I'm glad you liked her interaction with Nudge. I think Nudge is a character with so much potential who is never really given her time to shine in the series. Same with the Gasman. Much love! Don't ever apologize for your review length - I seriously love getting reviews from you. **

**Hagbre5498: Two reviews? You're awesome. Thank you so much. And yes, I watched it. And don't even get me started on Psych. I own every episode. **

**Akwardllama: Ha! Max and Fang actually try a new tactic with the press this chapter… Thanks so much for the review!**

**Awesomealpha11: Thanks for the review! You'll find out soon…**

**sexistpiglet: *Blushes.* It's so great to hear that you enjoy it, because I seriously think I'm giving myself ulcers trying to perfect these last few chapters, hah! Thank you so much! **

**Loserslovereadin: I didn't update on time because I'M A HUGE LOSER. Sorry. But, I'm glad you enjoyed it anyways. Thanks for the awesome feedback - and yes, each word was a struggle. I worked on it for-ev-er. Thanks!**

**FaxFiction: Oh, don't I know it. If I were Max, I'd be a complete and utter wreck right now. I can't even handle little fights. I can't even handle fights in the family that don't involve me. Like, I need people to be happy around me, you know? I need a no-problemo life. Haha. The talk about the dreams comes up soon, so stay tuned for that. Hope it's up to par! And thank you, I did! The vacation was absolutely wonderful. I **_**promise **_**I'm working on the PM. I'm so sorry. I am seriously the absolute WORST. **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Don't worry, they work on it. And as for the tabloid problem…Fang figures out how to make it a little better in this chapter. Thanks for the review!**

**Nola96: Same thing to you about the PM. I'm a wreck. Again, I'm happy you like Nudge and Val. Both such fun characters to play around with! I love Nudge. I don't know why, either, about the famous thing. I actually think it's an interesting twist. How would they really avoid it, if they'd done the air shows and things? (RE: super lame dork's review, she totally explains it better than me). But yeah, it just makes sense. Thanks!**

**Thanks for reading. **

MAX

I hate grocery shopping, just as a general rule, but it has gotten twenty times worse in the past forty-eight hours.

People stare like I'm a circus act. Which, okay, maybe I _could _be, but it's fucking rude. And I don't stare at _them _when they wear pajamas in public or dye their hair sixteen different colors! I don't judge _them_. It's none of my business!

I'm standing in the check out line at the grocery store, and the cashier is staring dumbly back at me. After a moment of unresponsive staring, I snap meanly in her face and say, "Hello? Are you going to do your job?"

She blinks and nods, not saying a word. Holden elbows me, like, _great job, Miss Mood Swings_.

"Hey, it's not my fault. One magazine and all of the sudden people think they have the right to pretend I'm an attraction, not a person." I huff. "Not the first time it's happened to me in my lifetime, but I can't say I really enjoy it."

Holden frowns at me, nodding in understanding. Then he frowns even deeper and says, "This may not be the best time to tell you, but…"

He points to the magazine rack, and I nearly flip my lid right then and there.

Three new ones. _Three_.

Stories have popped up no matter how much I wish they hadn't. Fang and I have tried a lot of things. Back door exits, stealthy disguises, and one particularly strategic walk through town where the guys pretended to be my body guards. Mostly, it just makes me look like I'm trying to hide from the photographers. Which, yes, that is my ultimate goal, but the people at the magazines seem to love twisting the story. The latest one had declared that I am "unhappy" and "trying hard to carry on."

Fang's reassurances haven't helped much, either. I mean, really, convincing me that outside opinions don't matter is nice, when we're talking mean kids at school. When we're talking the entire city, or state, staring at me like a broken, sad shell of a person who ruined her life? _It doesn't fucking help_.

"Oh, my God. I don't even want to look at them," I say, turning my back to the magazines. Unfortunately, that means I'm looking at the cashier again, who has figured out how to ring up our shit and still stare at me.

"Must be great to get all the attention, huh?" she says, smiling sweetly.

I glare at her. "Yeah. It's a real blast."

"Ya know, I don't really believe those magazines. I'm sure you're both ecstatic to have a baby." the girl says nervously. She slides the last item across the counter and slips it into the bag. She hit's a couple buttons on the computer. "Seventy-three, twenty."

I slide my card. After I press a few buttons, my receipt starts to print behind her. She rips it off the machine and hands it to me kindly.

"That's sweet. But this was an accident," I say, motioning with one hand to my belly while I snatch the receipt from her with the other. "Not even sure who the father is."

Holden squeezes my bicep tightly, steering me away as he looks back at her. "She's kidding."

I shrug at her from behind his back, like, _Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. _

"Do you want the stories to get _worse_?" Holden demanded, steering the cart behind me as I walk ahead towards Fang's car.

"Right. _Oh, Max came to my check out lane and told me that she didn't know who the father was._ If that pops up in a magazine, Holden, then I'll pay you fifty bucks."

Holden raises an eyebrow, pulling open the trunk of Fang's car.

I put up a hand. "Actually, no. That rumor is bound to pop up sooner or later. If the magazine says that the story was supplied by Emily from checkout lane twelve, _then _I'll pay you fifty bucks."

As we load the last few bags into the trunk, my phone starts ringing in my pocket. I pull it out and answer it, leaving Holden to take care of putting the cart away. I slide into the passenger seat of Fang's car, saying, "Hey Mom."

"Hey, just calling to see how the most popular eighteen year old in town is," Mom says cheekily. I laugh humorlessly, kicking off my shoes.

"Too bad, Fang's not here right now."

It's Mom's turn to laugh. "Well, you're just the talk of the town," Mom says with an obvious tentative tone to her voice, as if by _talk _she doesn't mean _ruthless gossip._

"Oh, you mean the tabloids?" I mumble. "I was so pissed when I saw them, Mom."

Mom sighs. She knows she can't downplay how callously mean it was, so she goes for the encouraging road, instead. I can't say she doesn't try. "Who believes those magazines, anyways?"

I know she's trying to make me feel better, but it doesn't work. I just shrug. "It doesn't matter. Now everyone knows about the baby."

She sighs, and I hear something on her end open and shut. After a second, a droning machine begins it's wash cycle. She's doing laundry. That reminds me - I need to do laundry when I get home. "Yeah…Yeah. I know. The CSM actually…wants to have a banquet for you guys. To bring the story out in a good light, rather than, well, rather than what's _been _happening."

I wrinkle my nose. "I don't know."

As nice as it sounds to put the horrible stories and rumors to bed once and for all, I hate press releases. Like, _really _hate them.

Holden slides into the driver's seat and starts the car. Mom says after a second, "I figured you wouldn't want to. I just thought I'd ask. A lot of the people you know, the ones that helped rescue me in Hawaii…they haven't seen you in awhile."

I grit my teeth, knowing I can't just be a bitch and say no. Damn it. "Is it a public event?"

I can hear Mom's shock in her voice. "Just the company. Only about an hour or so…we'd have dinner and take just a couple pictures. No pressure, honey. Honestly. If you don't feel comfortable…"

I think about it. As much as I'd love to say no, these were the people who'd always helped out when we needed help. Whether it was rescuing my mom or raising funds so we could afford our house, the CSM was like the extended family none of us had ever had. Once our shows had died down, we lost contact with a lot of them.

"Why the hell not," I say. "It's the least we can do, after everything."

Mom laughs. "I'll bring it up tomorrow at conference. They'll have a blast planning. And this way we can announce the pregnancy with a little more class."

I snort. "Doesn't that sound nice?"

• • •

"Wait, wait! We'll help!" As soon as I'm through the front door, Gazzy is flying out of the kitchen towards me. Emma is on his tail, and they're both holding pink drinks.

"It's okay-" I start, but Gazzy yanks the grocery bag out of my hand and swaps it for the pink drink in Emma's. He looks at me insistently.

"No, really. Go sit down. That's a strawberry banana smoothie. It's really good."

Emma glares at him. "Gazzy! What the heck!"

Gaz makes a face at her, shoving the grocery bag into her hands so he can grab the other one from me. He looks at Emma with an obvious look on his face. "She's pregnant, Emma, she shouldn't be doing hard labor."

"Yeah, well…why'd you give her _my _smoothie?" Emma demands. She steals the one from Gazzy's hand and takes a long, retaliating drink.

I laugh. I hand Emma's smoothie to Gazzy and take the grocery bag back. "I'm pregnant, not useless. But thanks."

"I'm useless," Holden jokes, coming in behind me with the rest of the groceries. "Why isn't anyone handing _me _fruity drinks?"

I grin and take a bag from him, too. Least I could do, since he drove me to the store. It was either ask Holden or call Aaron to put me up - Fang wasn't around when I woke up.

"Who made the smoothies?"

"Me!" Angel exclaims from the kitchen. "Do you want one?"

"Sure, kiddo. What's everyone up to?"

"Nudge is out," Angel informs me, pouring her pink concoction from the blender into a cup for me. "Fang is somewhere being unsocial, Iggy is with Ella downstairs, and we're here, experimenting with smoothie recipes."

"Okay," I say, setting the bags on the counter. "Clean up after yourselves, please."

"No problem," Gazzy says responsibly. "We'll put these away. Go rest your feet."

I squint at him, but he ignores me and gets to work. Emma smirks and sips her drink. Once I realize that the three of them are independent enough to not need supervision, I move upstairs. In our room, Fang is sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and his laptop on his legs, typing.

"Hey."

"Blog blew up over night because of the magazine," Fang says as a hello. I set the smoothie on the table by the bed and push off my stretchy jeans to pull on soft, cotton night shorts.

"You mean the _three _magazines."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yeah," I say. I walk over to him and give him a quick kiss. "And that's just the tally of what I saw at the grocery store."

Fang shakes his head slightly at this news.

"Gazzy's decided that I'm useless."

"Took him awhile," Fang says. I whap him in the head, flopping down next to him. I grab my smoothie and take a long drink, smacking my lips slightly. Fang follows up with, "Why?"

"Because I'm pregnant. Apparently that means that I can't carry anything, and I constantly need to be off my feet."

"He's not totally wrong," Fang says. "Your ankles are starting to swell."

I gasp. "They are not, you asshole!" Still I pull my leg up and wrap my fingers around my ankle experimentally, feeling for any difference.

He grins, eyes still glued to the screen.

I sigh, looking over his shoulder. He's got a good paragraph going, and all I can think is, _Why doesn't he say that much out loud? _

"How'd the blog blow up?"

"Everyone is going nuts with questions. I'm just doing a quick update to cover all bases."

I smirk at him, resting my chin on his shoulder. "So attentive to your fans. Not revealing any secrets, are you?"

Fang looks at me darkly. "None of the good ones."

I eye him back just as bravely, finding comfort in our normal banter. "Mom says that your coworkers want to throw a dinner for us. Private. Just to celebrate."

Fang shrugs, and I have to wonder if he's even listening.

_I am, _he thinks, casting me a glance full of fake contempt. I bump him with my shoulder and he bumps back.

"Missed you this morning," I say quietly, looking at him to gauge his expression. His eyebrows crease slightly as he finishes typing a sentence. He glances down at me finally, his eyes full of…everything.

"I couldn't sleep," he says shortly. "Went for a run."

I nod, looking down at his fingers on the keyboard. "I'm going to keep telling myself the reason you don't invite me is because I can't run or fly with you anymore."

Fang stops typing altogether. "That's most of it."

I don't say anything, mostly because I don't know what to say. What do you say when you don't want to sound nosy or needy, but you do what him to know that you feel _something_? I don't know. I keep my mouth shut. It seems like the safest option. I don't want to upset him and I don't want to reveal how damn scared I am for us. So I don't say anything.

Fang sighs. He says the next thing slowly, like he knows it probably isn't what I want to hear, but it's what he wants to say.

"Sometimes I need to be alone, Max."

That hurts, and it's stupid that it hurts so bad but it does. It's really stupid.

"Okay," I say, trying to make my voice cheerful and nonchalant. I can feel us breaking somehow, growing apart by the second. Whatever is plaguing his dreams at night, it's doing a damn good job of wrecking everything we've worked for. "And when you don't need to be alone…I'll be here."

"I know," Fang says, effectively ending the conversation. He goes back to typing, and I go back to wishing I was better at making him talk to me.

After a few minutes of lying in our room next to him, wishing that he would get the sudden urge to confide in me about his deepest, darkest secrets, I get bored. And a little uncomfortable. The closer I am to Fang, the easier it is to notice that he's off-kilter. Thus, the easier it is for me to worry about him.

I drain the rest of my smoothie on my way down to the kitchen. Iggy is reaming Angel for not cleaning the blender or the counter, Gazzy and Emma are in the living room, drinking smoothies and playing a board game on the carpet. I go into the kitchen, rinse out my cup and put it in the dishwasher, then grab my phone.

He picks up on the fourth ring.

"What are you doing today?" I ask without any preamble.

He's breathing slightly heavily on the other end. "Right now? I just finished working out. I'm taking a shower. Why?"

"Do you want to go do something?"

"Why? What were you guys thinking?"

I turn on the dishwasher, shrugging even though his can't see it. "Not us. Just me. I think I need out of the house for a bit."

"Fang moody today?"

I sigh, leaning against the counter. I close my eyes. "So I'm not the only one who's noticed?"

Aaron scoffs. "I'll swing by and get you in twenty. Look up some movie times."

"Ooh, okay. Thanks, Aaron."

"Thank _you_."

"For what?"

"For buying me that slushie and candy that you're going to buy me for taking you to the movies."

I laugh. "Oh, right. That. You're welcome."

So Aaron's noticed Fang's mood, too. I wonder if he knows about the nightmares, or if he's just been picking up on Fang's mood changes. I browse on my phone for movie times for a moment, finding a few that look good and are playing in the next half hour. I decide to wait to let Aaron choose - he is sacrificing his afternoon to rescue me, after all - and I run back upstairs to change. I change into my jeans again before frowning and shoving them off again.

"What's going on?" Fang asks, glancing up from his computer.

I dig in the dresser for something to wear that won't make me incredibly uncomfortable and land on a pair of black leggings that Nudge gave me as a "good job getting pregnant" gift.

"Aaron and I are going to hang out for a while," I say. "Probably a movie or something."

"Okay," Fang says, nodding. "What movie?"

I shrug. "I'm going to let him decide. I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah. Be careful."

After another quick kiss, I go back downstairs. By the time I'm done breaking up a fight between Gazzy and Angel and telling everyone that I'm going out and not to burn the house down, Aaron is pulling into the driveway. I don't think I've tried to get out the door faster.

"Okay, so what movie did you pick?" Aaron asks.

"I didn't," I say, reclining his chair back an inch. His car is old, well-worn, but very comfortable - especially the bucket seats. I sink into the cushion, groaning. "I saw a couple, decided to be _nice _and let you choose."

"Alright. What do we have to work with?"

I list the options for him. A drama with all well-renowned actors and award nominations, two comedies that looked ridiculously funny, and an action movie with great reviews online. Aaron frowns.

"What, no chick flicks?"

"Well, I figured since we're going to make out the whole time it doesn't really matter what we see," I say, much to Aaron's amusement. The entire ride to the theater we knock movies off the list. When we get down to two, I flip a coin.

"Call it," I say, prepping the quarter on my thumb.

Aaron calls heads for one of the raunchy comedies. It lands tails, and we both look at each other, frowning. In the end, we decide on the raunchy comedy anyways. We park at the movie theater and Aaron looks over at me.

"I think you should go in first, get a ticket and go into the theater. I'll come in a few minutes later and meet you in there," I say strategically. I don't see any reporters, but I don't really feel like taking the chance. Especially because the press could have a field day with a picture of Aaron and I going to the movies together.

Aaron glares at me. "You're just saying that so I have to buy my own candy."

I laugh, shoving his shoulder. "You want a white cherry slushie and Twizzlers. I'll buy, I promise. _Go_."

With one last glare, Aaron lets himself out of his car and closes the door. I lean back against the seat and wait. Once I'm sure Aaron's made it well into the theater by now, I make my way inside, too. I wait in line to buy Aaron's candy and drink, then meet him in theater 5 for our movie. It's nearly empty, which is awesome. I see him sitting at the very top in the very middle.

We're early; early enough that even the trailers haven't started playing yet. For now, it's just the ads and commercials about turning off your phone during the movie and how piracy is a crime. I look at Aaron, steal a Twizzler, and ask casually, "Did you ever sleep with Emily?"

Aaron shakes his head, taking a drink from his slushie. He's such a kid. I know for a fact this is what he's always gotten at the movies, ever since he was a kid. I can just picture eight year old Aaron sitting in a chair that practically swallows him, eating licorice and drinking a slushie as he zones out on a cartoon movie.

"No?"

"No," Aaron says. "We did other stuff, but not that. Emily wasn't ready."

I focus on pulling the strands of my candy apart. "Do you think that's why you guys broke up?"

"What? No. We had a lot more problems than the fact that she didn't want to do more than the little stuff."

I peek at him out of the corner of my eye. "What constitutes as 'little stuff?'"

"That was a trick question," Aaron says as he narrows his eyes at me. "Why are you so curious, anyways?"

"I guess I wanted advice. I'm not good with relationships…let alone intimate relationships with my moody boyfriend during the second trimester in my pregnancy."

"I mean, is this about sex?"

"No. But…where should I draw the line? I mean…the past few weeks Fang and I have been a little distant, a little off, but the sex isn't. It feels wrong, almost, that our relationship is taking a hit but the intimate stuff isn't. It's like out relationship is changing…becoming less solid…I don't know."

I rub my forehead with my hand, shrugging. When he doesn't say anything, I say, "I was just…I was just wondering."

"What about Val?" Aaron asks. He offers the straw of his slushie to me and I shake my head. Instead, I reach over him and grab the bag of licorice, setting them between us.

"She doesn't really get it, you know. You've seen our relationship in action."

"Well, for the record, I still don't really get it, either."

I chomp on my licorice candy, thinking. "I don't want us to go back to the way things were after Evelyn. That's my biggest fear. I can feel us slipping, and we can't bring a baby into a fucked up relationship like that."

Aaron nods thoughtfully, stirring his slushie with his straw. "He's not going there, Max. Never again - not if we can help it."

I nod, but I'm not totally placated by those words. Aaron adds finally, "We just need to be there for him, trust him. He's better now."

I swallow. "Did he tell you about the nightmares?"

"Yeah," Aaron says, nodding. "Me and Ig, as far as I know. But…you have to remember, he has a lot on his plate right now."

I scoff. "And I don't?"

Aaron shrugs. "The baby is just as big a responsibility for him as it is for you. Yeah, you have to do the hard labor now, but that doesn't mean he isn't worried about you _and _the baby ninety-nine percent of the time. Not to mention the nightmares, and the recent trauma with his mom…"

"I just want to help him carry the burden of it," I say, looking at Aaron honestly. He looks at me, squinting to see me in the darkness.

"And that's what he wants to protect you from."

I look away, worry still eating me up. Since I don't look very comforted by his words, Aaron taps my arm. I look over at him again and he smiles.

"It's not the end of the world, Max. Not even close. Everything's going to be fine."

He offers me another licorice rope as the lights dim.

• • •

It's just beginning to get dark out when Aaron pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine. I groan, looking at the side mirror.

"Oh, shit."

"What?"

I look out the side mirror again, seeing the van behind us. "We were followed."

I can see the small discrete car just barely at the mouth of our long driveway. The lights are shut off, but I can still see it. My stomach sinks as I watch the reporter step out with a camera.

"Oh, yep. There are two of them," Aaron says. He sighs, and I sit lower in my chair.

"I don't want another bogus cover story," I say moodily. "Just drive home. I'll sleep in the car. I'm never showing my face again."

Aaron rolls his eyes. "Now, that's just overly dramatic."

"Aaron, I'm serious."

"I'm not taking you to my place." Aaron grabs my hand and looks at me. "You're Maximum Ride. You can do this."

"I hate when you use my reputation against me," I growl.

"What, are you worried about them seeing you? You look _so hot_. Let's go."

I hit him in the arm. "You think I'm worried about how I _look_?"

Aaron squints at me. "I really don't get you sometimes."

Before he can get out of the car, Fang flips the porch light on and opens the door. He's about to say something, probably, "Are you staking the place out or what?" but I think he notices the reporters. He shouts back into the house and Iggy appears behind him, wings out, sunglasses propped on his nose, and soda in his hand. Fang says something to him and the two of them run down the stairs and across gravel driveway. Aaron rolls down his window.

"Max doesn't want to get out of the car. I told her she looks hot and she still isn't convinced."

I grit my teeth.

Aaron continues, "What's the plan? Secret service again? Disguise her as a duffle bag or something? Ig thought of a good one the other day, but we'd need a gurney-"

I scoff. Right.

Fang looks at me over Aaron's shoulder. "I have an idea."

Aaron raises an eyebrow. "Going to let us in on it?"

"We like ideas," Iggy says, taking another drink of his soda.

"Max is tired of the press getting normal pictures that they can twist into shitty stories," Fang says, shrugging. "I have a plan. Just do your own thing."

Aaron nods and the boys step back. Aaron and I get out of the car, and at that exact moment the area erupts in light. Disoriented, I let Fang pull me away from the car and towards the front door. Over his shoulder I see Iggy flip the bird at the stalkers, while taking another chug of coke. Aaron says with words what Iggy says in that single hand gesture: "_Fuck the haters_!"

Then Fang grabs my face, both hands, and pulls me until we're nose to nose.

_He's right, _Fang thinks, his lips twitching slightly into a grin, _you look hot. _

I roll my eyes, because I'm just wearing those leggings and a comfy, soft black t-shirt.

"You're just saying that because the leggings don't leave much to the imagination. But my pants don't fit, so-"

Fang's lips smash down on mine, right in the middle of our front yard, with my two boys making raucous noise in the background. Cameras flash, and Fang pulls away a little, looking into my eyes.

_Is this okay?_

I grin, biting my lip. Something deep in Fang's eyes lights up and his thumb reaches up and pulls my bottom lip free. Then he dives in to kiss me again. He pulls me into him, bringing me so close that I nearly wiggle out of his arms just because I'm squeamish about PDA. Fang holds me tight, though, and tilts my head back as his lips move on mine.

_I'd like to see them get a shitty story out of this, _Fang thinks, stroking my back gently. And then we're laughing, and I love him despite every single obstacle we have, and I forgive him for his attitude, and I let myself just have us, for a just a second, in our messed up little paradise.

I laugh against his mouth until I can't kiss properly anymore.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Let me direct you back to chapter 23, where I swore I wouldn't write over 45 chapters for this story. I'm a big, fat liar. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter! I love you all an absurd amount, but I can't respond just yet. I'm out of town and only just now getting three seconds to update.**

**Read on! **

**(Sorry for typos.)**

MAX

Usually, I can handle parties.

When I can sink back into the background and hang out on the edges of the crowd, I'm fine. I'm even better when I can ditch and spend time away from people I don't know or don't like, but the fact is I can handle the social interaction, usually.

This party, though, is different. I didn't factor in how different it would be, not just being apart of the crowd but being the _reason _for it.

Fang slips his hand across my back, smoothing over my shoulder blades, before resting his arm on my shoulders as we walk in. This calms me a little. He's in a casual button up and dark jeans, looking just as good as usual. Nudge bought me a long skirt to wear, despite my protesting. As soon as she'd shown it to me, I had been against it, but she'd sworn that I would love it so much that I'd never want to wear real pants again. When I told her I didn't like feeling vulnerable in a skirt, she said that I would have to "hike it up to my thighs" and "do gymnastic stunts" to feel vulnerable in this skirt. And she is right about one thing - it _is _more comfortable than squeezing into pants. It's dark grey and drops all the way to my sandaled feet. I'm wearing a white and grey striped shirt that stretches over my bump.

Which, yes, means what you think it means. For the first time in _ever_, the bump is on display in public.

When the anxiety starts to kick in, I take a breath and ground myself. I force myself to find three faces in the crowd that I know. Not hard, considering I worked closely with these people for months during our tour of air shows and rescuing Mom. I glance around at the faces, recollect names, and begin to feel better once I realize I'm not just in a throbbing crowd of people - these are familiar people. Plus, the whole gang is here, which helps me calm down a little bit.

People swarm around us. Some people try to hug me, others with a sense of boundaries just shake my hand or pat my arm. A lot of people greet Fang a bit more comfortably, ask him about work, and make small talk.

Mom pushes her way through the small group of people around us and grins, shrugging her shoulders. "Hey. Make it out here okay?"

I hug her, nodding. "Yeah, Aaron kind of double parked outside, though, so-"

Mom waves her hand. "Who cares? You guys should take a seat. I'm going to make a quick speech and then we'll start dinner."

"Oh, okay," I say, nodding. Mom gives me a look.

"Don't worry. It's not like we're on a strict schedule or anything. I just don't want all the food to get cold and yes, Gazzy, before you ask - I got the pasta you wanted."

Gazzy grins, fist-pumping the air.

"I'll see you in a little bit," Mom says, moving past us towards a small dais.

I sink into a chair a large round table and the rest of the kids join me, Aaron on my left and Fang on my right. Mom gets up on the dais and someone starts to hush the crowd; it's John Abate, Mom's closest coworker, and he's tapping a fork against his beer bottle.

At least it isn't champagne. I don't think we're fancy enough for champagne.

"Okay, now that the guests of honor are finally here, we can get the show on the road."

I groan, sinking into my chair, and Mom's eyes narrow in on me. "And, now that Max has gotten her first eye roll of the evening out of the way…" she trails off, and people throughout the room laugh. "Just a few things, before we get started. One, yes, Iggy, the bartender _will _ask for your ID, so don't try."

Ig slumps over the table, his chin in his hands despondently. Ella tries to smother her grin, rubbing Ig's shoulder comfortingly.

"Also, we ordered plenty of food, so please - everyone eat your hearts out."

It's a good thing none of us ate dinner before this.

"Three, we had to kidnap Max and Fang to get them here, so please go easy on them." Mom grins across the room at us. "Seriously, I'm really surprised they agreed to do this. So, everyone eat and enjoy!"

She's about to step down when she remembers something. She runs back to the microphone and says, "Oh, and Max and Fang refused to take a picture for the press release so…whoever snipes the best picture gets twenty bucks!"

• • •

"Where were you thinking of having the wedding?"

I blanch at that question. "Uh, we haven't really…discussed that…at all."

A man next to the kind-smiling woman who'd asked smiles at me, then her. "They have time. They're still children, Martha."

Well, that sounds like an underhanded insult. I frown, and Aaron, who's right next to me, jumps in with his crowd-pleasing way of his.

"Children with twice the life experience of anyone here, huh, Jeff?" Aaron says, reading the man's nametag off his chest. He says it with that joking tone of his, as if he means no offense by it - but he's also obviously trying to tell this guy to back off. I tap his foot under the table as thanks.

The two adults stand and move on and Fang looks at me. "You really don't need a nametag, you know," Fang says, motioning to the small white sticker on my shirt. "I think everyone knows who you are."

"Well, I just wouldn't want anyone to forget," I joke, shoving his arm. Fang smirks.

"You thirsty? I'm going to get a drink."

"Okay. Just water is good."

Aaron looks up at Fang, amused. "Oh, I'll take a Coke. Thanks."

Fang rolls his eyes and heads off into the crowd. Aaron tells me he'll be back and moves off towards Iggy and Nudge across the room, who are talking to John and a few other scientists.

Not even an entire minute later, a slim woman slips into the chair beside me. She's vaguely familiar, but I don't think we've ever really spoken. Her nametag says Elena.

"Wow, surprised your little group has broken up for breathing room, huh?"

I smile politely, which is getting extremely tiring as the night goes on. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

She's really kind, and extremely interested in my pregnancy. Almost too interested. Her questions feel more probing than they should, and I think Aaron notices my discomfort because he starts making his way back over to me at the look on my face. She isn't the first scientist or doctor to cross the line tonight with her questions or comments, but she is the first who hasn't taken the hint of my obvious anxiety.

"I'm sorry if I'm being inappropriate," Elena says, sitting back against her chair. "I just…It's so remarkable."

I slide my tongue along the inside of my teeth, trying not to flip out on this woman.

"I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"What?" I inquire, although I wish she would get pulled away by some colleague and just leave me be for some time alone. I need a breather. I'm done entertaining.

"It's just…Your father would be _so _into this."

I freeze. "You're right. I did take that the wrong way."

Aaron touches my shoulder as he reaches me, but Elena is still talking casually. "I just… no one ever knew what would happen if…"

I push my chair away from the table. "Yeah, I get it."

Her excitement rubs me the wrong way for a second, and I can't help but see her as a whitecoat not a colleague of my mother. And she's interested in my pregnancy, intrigued by it, but not excited about it. Her interest is studious, not congratulatory. The look she gives me is meticulous, not compassionate.

"Did I say something?" Elena asks tentatively.

Aaron says shortly, "_Apparently_," then pulls me out of my chair.

He moves me away through the crowded room away from the table, but I don't feel like I'm at a party anymore. I look around and see doctors and scientists, not guests. And I don't see celebration - this feels like a medical conference, and I'm the subject - not the guest of honor.

"Get me out of here," I hiss, pushing on Aaron's back to make him move faster. He trips on someone's chair leg and nearly goes down, but I grasp his arm.

"What the hell, Max?" Aaron inquires in shock, but he keeps moving for my sake. I think the look on my face must be freaking him out.

The concerned looks from people around us slowly morph into threatening, cold glances. I force myself to watch my feet following Aaron, and I block out the sound of conversation. I think I might pass out.

When we get to the front foyer of the building, Aaron looks down at me intensely. "Max?"

"I'm freaking out. I just…need a second." I wrap my arms around myself, feeling extremely exposed and vulnerable. "She…She just…was talking like…"

"Your baby is not an experiment, Max," Aaron says firmly. I look at him and he is staring directly into my eyes, trying to calm me down.

"Where's Fang?"

"I don't know," Aaron says. "But you're okay. Don't listen to her, Max. This isn't…you aren't…"

Aaron actually doesn't know how to fix this one. He isn't sure what exactly to tell me to calm my fears about the School, and the one person who _does _know is nowhere to be found.

As. Fucking. Usual.

I can feel my heart thumping wildly in my throat. I take in a breath. "I know. And there's no one around waiting to experiment on us, anyways. It's an empty fear. And yet…"

I trail off. Iggy walks out into the hall, towards the restroom, and I grab his arm. "Where's Fang?" I demand.

"He said he needed air," Iggy says. "Is everything okay?"

"Someone said some shit to Max. Freaked her out a little."

Iggy's eyebrows draw together. "What? Who said what?"

I don't answer him. I don't feel like explaining. The overwhelming panic attack takes a backseat to my unimaginable rage that Fang has ditched me _again_, with seemingly no conscious guilt on his part. _Fuck _him.

"He left? Already?"

Iggy hesitates, shrugging. "I think he just stepped outside."

I rip off my constricting cardigan and shove it at Iggy's chest, my face getting hot with fury. "You better _hope _he just stepped outside."

"Max!"

I spin on my heel and make my way towards the front doors of the building, pulling one of the heavy metal contraptions open and slipping out into the warm, breezy night.

"Fang," I say calmly, because if he's close he'll hear, "If you can hear me you better get your ass back here, _right now_."

I start walking, waiting to see or hear him, to prove myself wrong that he didn't completely leave me to be alone in there. I want to find him - I really do. But when I don't see him, don't hear him, and can't hear his thoughts, I snap out my wings furiously.

"Fine," I say to myself, my jaw stiff with displeasure. "Fucking fine."

Taking off without a running start is way harder than it seems it would be, but I can't run worth a shit right now. I kick off the shitty sandals with no support that Nudge made me wear and consider it. A few sprints won't kill me or the baby, but it definitely won't be comfortable or easy.

Well, neither is suffering the party alone.

I'm about to take off when I hear, "Max!" It's not Iggy or Aaron. It's Fang. As soon as he's close enough, he grabs my shoulders, and he's not gentle. "What the hell are you thinking?"

I stare at him in shock. "_Excuse _me?"

"I _know _you aren't flying," he says, his eyes hard. "I know you aren't _that _stupid."

"Are you serious?" I demand. His eyes flash at that, like I have the _nerve _to have an attitude with him.

"You're carrying _my _kid in there, start fucking acting like it!"

His sudden anger sets me off. He wants to fight, we can fight. And how dare he talk to me that way right now, when he's the one being a dick. I'm so upset and wigged out that I can't contain my anger. All of the resentment and fear and everything that's been building up for the past month, I let it out. And it's ugly.

"Why don't _you _start acting like it! This past month I've been alone in my pregnancy! Screw you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Fang asks indignantly.

"You're gone. All the time. And when you are there, you're fucking distant and horrible! And any good time we do have is ruined sporadically by your intense necessity to run out on things! It's like you do it just for fun, and I'm sick of it! I'm scared and tired and my fucking feet hurt," I howl, picking up my sandals and shove the little designer devils into his chest, "and I'm _done_."

"You're the one who wanted to come here in the first place," Fang says, his teeth clenched.

"No! I didn't! I said yes to keep my mom happy."

"It's your life, Max! You could've said no! Your mom wouldn't have given a rats ass!"

"She wanted us here!"

"She knows we aren't these people," Fang says, waving one arm furiously to motion to the luxury vehicles and large building behind us. "She knows we don't need big parties and special dedications and _attention_! We hate that shit, Max! We won't do press releases with anyone else - except when Val asks."

I gape at him. "They are people we know! My doctors are here, okay? People who've helped us get _our _house and get _your _job! Screw you, Fang! It was the right thing!"

"I didn't like it, Max. I hated being there, with all the attention. I had to get out."

"You?" I cry in disbelief. "_You? _What did you get, Fang, a few slaps on the back and questions like, '_Oh, so when's the wedding?_' and, '_Gee, Fang, how's it feel to be a dad?_'"

Fang's furious. Just like with any of our other fights I can see the anger boiling inside him. Good. At least I'm getting _some _reaction from him.

"No, with me it was more of, '_Are you scared? Are you worried about becoming a dad?_'"

I don't say anything. I know he's not done.

He steps forward and yells, "Of course I'm fucking _scared_! Of course I'm fucking _worried_! I'm losing my goddamn mind!"

I let him calm down for a second, and then I say shakily, "You left me alone in there. While doctors and scientists stared at me like I was a _science fair project_." I curl my fists, trying not to upset myself again. "Talking about fetal development of a _mutant child_, and wondering aloud about how _interesting_ my _situation _is. You left me there, alone, to be a fucking lab rat!"

He doesn't say anything now, either. Good. Because now _I'm _not done.

"You know what one of them said, Fang? 'Your dad would be so _into _this.'" I blink, hard, refusing to cry. "Not _proud_. Not _excited_. No, he'd be _into _it. He'd love to _examine _the baby. He'd love to take apart my pregnancy and figure me out like an _experiment_."

Fang steps forward. He pauses, a lot of different reactions crossing his face until he lands on a neutral one, his voice low. "Our baby isn't an experiment," he whispers. "No one's ever going to treat him like one."

"I know that," I snap, but I'm quickly unraveling into a complete mess and he knows it. Fang shoves his anger aside and now his expression crumbles. He pulls me to him and lifts my chin, making me look at him when all I want to do is hide.

"I know the baby isn't. And I know no one's going to take it away, the threat is an empty one, but…" I swallow, looking down between us. "But it's always going to be different. We can't ever be looked at normal, you know? People want to ask us about our lifestyle. They want to see our wings, see us fly. They want to know how weird it is to be different like us. And I don't want our baby to have that life."

Fang sighs. He removes his hands from my arms and wraps me up in him, pulling me close. The fight has completely gone out of both of us - he knows we're both only screaming at each other because we're so stressed and worried. He strokes my hair and holds me against him, right there in the middle of the woods, and he whispers, "Max. Our baby is going to be different. But he or she - they're going to be surrounded by a huge family of _different _people. They're going to know what it's like to be the weird one…but they're also going to know what it's like to fit in somewhere. What it's like to just be…normal. Normal on _our _terms, not the rest of the world."

I nod miserably into his shoulder, trying to let his words relax me. He's right, of course. We've all lived it. It's true. Outside, at work and at school and on the street, we're the weird ones. But we have the flock, people who understand exactly what we're going through and what it's like to be us. And it helps.

"Just think," Fang says lightly. "If it's a girl, she'll probably soak up all the attention."

I groan, fisting his shirt in my hands. "I hope it's not a girl."

Fang laughs lightly, kissing my head. "No matter what we'll get through it."

I sniffle rubbing my sleeve under my nose. Fang guides me over and we both climb into his car, to get out of the middle of the parking lot. We close ourselves into the slightly hot car and Fang turns it on just so he can crank the air conditioner on me.

"I was out here to get these," Fang says, holding up my back up shoes. They're closed-toed flats with inserts in them to help with the unending pain in my swollen feet. "Because you kept making me rub your feet."

I swallow, sighing. "Thanks, but I don't really feel like going back in there yet."

Fang sets the shoes between us on the console and I frown.

"This isn't just about tonight," I say quietly. "You told me you would talk to me when you were ready, but…" I trail off, because I don't know how to start this conversation again. He doesn't look at me, just stares down at the steering wheel wordlessly.

Finally, he says softly, "I'm not trying to push you away."

"I know." Even though I don't really know, and it's a relief to hear him say it.

He doesn't say anything else. I peek a glance over at him and then reach over and grab his hand, holding it in mine. If he won't talk, I will. If he doesn't want to voice his fears, I'll voice mine.

"I can't lose you," I say quietly. "We fought hard to get here, Fang. I won't let you go back."

"It's not like that," Fang whispers. "This is…this is me, this time. I'm just tripping myself up."

"Then tell me what it's like," I say shakily. "Otherwise…my imagination is going haywire over here, Fang. I need you to talk to me."

Fang pulls his hand away. He props his elbows on the steering wheel and buries his head in his hands, groaning. I put my hand on his shoulder and rub the knots out, trying to help him relax.

"I'm not…relapsing," Fang says finally, shaking his head. He looks up, out across the dark expanse of the parking lot - not another soul in sight. "It's just…Evelyn."

I freeze. "Fang. I-"

"It's not what you think," Fang promises, moving his thumb carefully over my knuckles. "You helped me through it, Max. I'm not…I'm not like I was when you got me out. But…ever since we found out about the baby, one thing she used to use against me won't get out of me head."

I don't say anything. This isn't what I wanted to hear about his nightmares. I was prepared for it to be worries about the baby, or worries about being a father. Not this. Not Evelyn. Not after everything we went through.

"You know how I wish I could end this," Fang says quietly. His big hand engulfs mine completely, his skin warm and calloused and familiar. Yes, I know how he wishes he could find closure. I know he regrets not killing his mother. I know, even though it's crazy to imagine gentle hands like his killing someone in cold blood.

"You aren't that kind of person, Fang," I say, but he shakes his head.

His eyes meet mine, completely open for the first time in weeks. "No, Max. I'd do it. If I could…" he trails off. I know he's thought about it before, especially during his two years of torture and abuse. But to hear him still so dedicated to the idea surprises me a bit.

"I can't," he says firmly, shaking his head. "There's no use in wishing I could. But I can't let it go this way."

"I understand," I say softly.

"Do you?" Fang's eyes meet mine pleadingly. "Besides all the physical stuff, Max…she knew how to hurt me mentally. Emotionally. She would say things to me…over and over until I believed her. And it fucked me up."

I let out a long breath through my nose. My fingers clench on his.

"I know most of what she said wasn't true. But…"

He takes a break. I don't think he wants to say it out loud. I lean against him and close my eyes, telling him silently that he can think it if he doesn't want to say it. He shakes his head. He's going to tell me, out loud. He wants to face it. He wants it to be in the open, now or never. And now that I've forced him to talk about it, he's going to fucking _talk _about it.

That's the difference between _then _and _now_.

"I used to threaten escaping. I used to pretend I was a lot more hopeful of rescue than I was. I… I would try to make her mad by saying she wouldn't win, that I'd escape. And she'd say… Well, she said that I'd try to move on, try to make a new life for myself. She said that as soon as I thought I got away, she'd always be right there in the back of my mind. And that's how I'd know she won. She'd always torture me, even if she wasn't _there_."

He closes his eyes, his eyebrows drawing together, and the desperation and anger and fear on his face tears me up inside.

"And I keep having these dreams…and I know she thinks she's won and I can't take it. I can't. I need closure."

"Fang… she didn't win."

"Iknow," Fang says. "I know, Max. But she doesn't get to sit there and think that she's won. That she's ruined me. I won't let that happen."

I bite my lip. "So, what now?"

Fang looks down at me, completely open. And what he says next absolutely breaks my heart. I'm not ready to hear it and I'm definitely not ready to let it happen. Fang, however, is already decided.

"I'm going to go see her."


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Thank you thank you thank you thank you. **

**I don't know why you all keep coming back but don't stop. **

**Read on!**

MAX

_Two days later_

"I see you've taken the tabloid problem into your own hands," Mom says. "I have to say, though, Iggy flipping off the camera really distracts from the whole romance aspect."

I laugh; I know exactly what she means; I've seen the magazine in question. Fang and I, in a tight, torrid embrace while Iggy holds a middle finger up and Aaron throws shade by shouting his "Fuck y'all haters" spiel. I can't say our little scene didn't change the direction of the nasty rumors, though. The _new _story is that we're extremely happy to have this baby, that this baby lights a fire in our relationship that we didn't know existed, and that this baby is the exact miracle we needed after Fang's devastating kidnapping. Also, our new story is now on page six, because we aren't scandalous enough for the cover. Go us.

I'm sitting in the living room, braiding Angel's hair and talking to Mom on speaker phone. Fang is sitting next to me, leaning back into the couch cushions. He hasn't said much to me today, and I haven't said much to him, either. Mostly because I don't know what to say.

"Yeah," I say. "We got a little carried away."

Mom sighs. "Well, anyways, I… I called to apologize. Ella told me…what Dr. Boyd said."

I shoot a quick look at Fang, but he remains expressionless. Since our fight, we've barely talked. Of course, after he dropped the bomb on me, I wasn't quite in the partying mood (as if I had been _before_). We'd argued about his idea, but he wasn't about to waver. Eventually we'd just bailed, the entire flock leaving almost an hour and a half early.

"It's fine," I say. Honestly, the prospect of free food is enough to get me on board. "Not like you knew that was going to happen."

"Sweetheart…I know you were uncomfortable. I'm sorry to put you in that position."

I feel bad, now. I sigh. "Mom, you didn't make me go. And not everyone was like that. It was nice to see some of them. Like John. And Cathy."

Mom makes a noise, like _I still feel guilty, but I'll let it go for now_. "So what do you have going on tonight?" Mom asks, trying to change the subject. I finish Angel's braid, tie the end with a small clear rubber band and grab my phone from the coffee table. Then I prop the phone on my thigh and lay back on the couch, my feet curled up right next to Fang. I'm not yet happy enough with him to fling them in his lap and demand a foot rub. I'm nearly there, but not quite. Angel thanks me for her braid and runs off.

"I think we're just staying in tonight. Aaron, might come over. Holden has a date with Sydney and…Gazzy is at a friend's house. The girls are already holed up in the basement, watching some drama show or something."

"Holden's getting serious with this girl, huh?"

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, thinking. "She's the only one he ever talks about. He sure spends a lot of time with her."

"What about Aaron?"

"He and Emily are done for good," I say. "And, for real this time. He says."

Mom makes a noise of amusement. "Not everyone has it as figured-out as you."

"Ha, right," I say picking at a string on the hem of my shirt. I look up at Fang, who's pretending to have no interest in the conversation. That, or he _really _has no interest in the conversation.

"Have you talked to Fang yet?" Mom asks brightly. I sit up and grab the phone off my knee, watching Fang worriedly.

"Um, no. But you can. He's here. You're on speaker."

Shit. I definitely should have told her that, earlier. Mom pauses for a second, then says, "_Hi_, Fang. How's that newsletter coming along?"

Fang turns to look at me, his eyes unreadable. "Fine."

I take Mom off speaker, and say hastily, "Okay, Mom, I'm gonna get off the phone. I'll see you soon. Text me about that banquet."

"Okay, honey. Bye. Love you."

I hang up, chewing my lip until Fang looks at me. _Busted. _

"Talk to me about what?" Fang asks. I think he knows and he just wants me to say it, so I do. Screw this; screw acting like I'm afraid to confront him.

"Evelyn."

Fang quips meanly, "I didn't think it was Val's business."

"Well, I didn't think it was a fucking secret." I say. Fang stares at me, gauging my anger. Finally, he settles back against the couch and shrugs.

"Gossip with your mom about whatever you want, but not me."

"I'm trying to be honest with you," I say, narrowing my eyes at this devil-may-care mask he puts on. He does it because he _knows _it pisses me off. He's right. It works. "Your attitude sucks."

"Quit treating me like a twelve year old."

"Quit acting like one!" I say, standing up. I move across the living room and physically turn the television off, making him look at me. "Adults _talk _about shit, Fang."

Fang drags a hand across his forehead. "We've talked! You don't think I can do it! I know!"

"I never said-" 

"You didn't have to. I don't want to fight with you, Max."

My frustration is unbelievable. I can't seem to stand being in the same room with him for more than a second longer, so I storm out of the room and out of the house, right onto the porch leading the backyard. I slam the back door behind me in my anger and turn towards the wilderness. I don't take the chance of going out the front only to come face-to-face with cameras and reporters, ready to capture my bad mood on camera. I stare out at the yard and the trees in annoyance. Never have I needed to take flight more than _right this second_.

Instead of whipping out my wings and doing just that, I sit down on the steps of the porch and try to think clearly.

_Figure it out, Max, _I tell myself. _If Fang's not going to try, you are. _

He's got his mind firmly set on going to see his mother. He thinks it'll give him the closure he needs, and maybe he's right, but if he isn't? If he isn't ready? If she affects him more than he thinks she does?

I can't let her take him away again. I can't let her…tear down what we've done.

I hear the door open behind me and footsteps slowly move toward me. Socked feet move down the steps beside me and stop, and Fang lowers himself onto the same step I'm on.

"Do you remember…when you had that vision about destroying Itex? And you wouldn't tell me about it, because you wanted to protect me?"

Fang looks at me.

"This feels like that," I say, staring down at our hands. "And I'm ten time more terrified this time."

Fang pulls me to lean against him, his fingers rubbing my back comfortably.

"It shouldn't," Fang says. "It's nothing like that."

"Fang, what if it doesn't turn out the way you think it will?"

He doesn't say anything to that, because I don't know if he's considered the other outcomes. He doesn't say anything for a couple minutes. Finally, he kisses my temple and shifts away, standing up.

"It will."

• • •

I wake up to a kick in the stomach.

But not from the outside.

I push myself up, gasping awake from sleep, and immediately clasp a hand over my bump. _What the hell? Ow!_ It takes me a second to fully wake up, for my brain to register that something just kicked me.

And then it happens again.

It's in the same spot, right where the little bugger kicked last time. I feel it clearly, a little jab in my left side. I let out a breathless laugh/oof, disbelief fighting and losing against the total joy that my baby is kicking the shit out of me at five in the morning.

I turn over to tell Fang, to wake him up, but his side of our bed is empty. The window is open. I don't know why, after a month of this, that hurts so bad. But it does. I let out a shaky sigh and rub my hand over my stomach, trying not to let his absence ruin this. In a burst of annoyance, I stand up, waddle across the room, and shut the window firmly. He can figure out a _different _way inside.

"Just you and me tonight, baby," I say softly, sitting on the bed again. I know I won't be able to fall back asleep right away, so I pull Fang's pillow behind me and making a nice pile to prop myself against. I get comfortable sitting up, then realize the remote is on Fang's side of the bed. I sigh and drag myself out of my comfortable cocoon, crawling to Fang's side of the bed. I reach over to grab the remote and see the baby book I bought for Fang the same day I bought Aaron's. There's a bookmark in it, about just past halfway through.

He's actually _reading _it.

I'm just skipping through to the interesting parts.

I grab the book and sit back, completely losing interest in the television. There probably isn't anything good on right now, anyways.

Now that I'm looking closer, I see smaller bookmarks throughout the part he's already read - little jagged pieces of ripped up notebook paper, keeping the spots of important pages. My breath leaves me in a little whoosh, and I close my eyes, hugging the book close for a second. And here I was, thinking Fang didn't give a rats ass about the pregnancy.

Curious, I open the book to one of the bookmarks. It's holding the place of a page with a detailed list of what to pack for the hospital.

_He's taking notes, _I think. I turn the page and a few folded papers fall out. I open them.

He's printed out perspective car seats. Car seats! I haven't even _thought _about car seats yet. And here he is, circling five-star safety ratings and 3-in-1 capabilities. I mindlessly run my palm over my belly, reading some of the other small bookmarks Fang has left in his book.

"Dad always has been the researching type," I say softly, my hand running over my belly. "Sometimes it's annoying, all the random facts he has up there."

It was ridiculous for me to think Fang would enter into the world of fatherhood without doing research. He's never been able to _happily _not know something. Even little stuff, trivial stuff that no one really cares about, he looks up because he can't stand not knowing. For me to really imagine Fang going into this situation blindly was stupid. I just…have been so focused on all the things he hasn't been doing right lately, that I haven't really given him any credit for everything he's been doing better than me.

No matter what personal shit he's trying to deal with, he still cares. And he's still preparing. And he still is here for me.

My emotions are so fucked up at this point that I close Fang's book and put it on his side of the bed. I scoot down and lay back down, propping my stomach against Fang's pillow to help my back. My eyes burn but I just wrap my arms around my belly and hold on tight.

When I wake up, I automatically want to be upset with Fang about missing the first kick. But he's there, right next to me in bed, his fingers on the slope of my abdomen lightly, right above the waistband of my underwear. He's replaced his pillow with his body, and I'm laying half-way on top of him. His eyes are closed and he's snoring slightly, and I think about his damn baby book, and all his haphazard bookmarks…

And I don't care that he can't sleep. He's had insomnia all his life. Just because it's still happening, and I notice it more sharing a bed with him, and he can't talk to me yet about things that are bothering him, none of that matters.

I move his hand slowly, around my belly, pushing his palm firmly against my bump. Fang stirs under my cheek.

"Max?"

"Hang on," I whisper, rolling onto my back. I'm still probing my belly with his fingers. I feel the small kick a moment later and gasp, looking over at Fang excitedly. "Did you feel it?"

Fang blinks, levering himself up a bit. "No," he says, eyebrows furrowing. He rolls over and I spread my legs, welcoming him between them. I scoot backwards, sitting with my back to the headboard, and I pull Fang's hands to my belly again.

"Hang on," I say. "Boy or girl, this kid is _strong_. Let me find it."

I press Fang's palm into my skin, right to the left of my bellybutton, and I can see on Fang's face when he feels the movement under my skin. His eyes light up and he ducks down to kiss the exposed skin, grinning.

"Good morning," he says softly, stroking his fingers over my skin. "I love you. I can't wait to meet you."

I swallow down tears, gripping his fingers in mine. The baby kicks again, apparently very pleased by those words. Or maybe just the sound of Fang's voice. Either way, Fang feels it again. The look on his face makes my heart melt.

"Is this the first time you've felt it?" Fang asks curiously, still looking down at my stomach, mesmerized.

"This morning," I say shortly, which is technically honest. "How nuts is that?"

"What does it feel like?" Fang wonders, his thumbs rubbing circles on my hips.

"Like a little jab from the inside? I don't know how to explain it," I say. "It's unlike anything I've ever felt before."

Fang grins. "That's so…crazy."

He smiles up at me, staring at me a second longer than usual. He blinks and says, "Did you get up last night?"

"Yeah, I closed the window," I say quietly. "Sorry."

Fang shrugs. "I don't care. I was just hot, and when I came back upstairs it was shut. Figured it was you."

I gnaw on my cheek. "Did you go flying last night?"

Fang shakes his head, pressing his palm experimentally against my skin to find the baby. "I woke up early. Made coffee. Accidentally fell asleep when I came back up."

I stare at him for a second, feel his fingers tracing my skin and his lips pressing against my bump and I start crying. Everything from the past month crashes down on me and I start crying.

"What?" Fang whispers, sitting back on his knees and pulling me into him. I lean against him, and his resolution from the other night comes back to mind and I feel fear squeeze my heart.

"I can't lose you," I say quietly. "Not again."

Fang scoots back onto his butt and pulls me into his arms, extra weight and all. He wraps his arms around me comfortingly and rests his cheek against my forehead, cradling me like a child.

"You won't lose me," Fang says soothingly. "You can't. I'm not going anywhere."

"Fang…please."

"You have to trust me, Max. I need to do this."

I cry quietly against his shirt, wishing there was another way. Wishing _one _of us had killed Evelyn, back in her lab, just so we didn't have to deal with her now. I even would have done it, I think, if it meant saving both of us so much pain.

"I'm stronger than her," Fang whispers.

"I know. _I _know that - we all know that," I say into his chest. "Isn't that enough?"

But I _know _it isn't.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Thank you so much for the amazing feedback, once again! I've recently posted an alternate epilogue for my story **_**The Art of Dying**_**, if any of you are interested in checking it out! I know a lot of people were always curious about how else that story could've ended. **

**Again, you guys are the best. Thanks so, so much. **

**M warning: Last hurrah for this story! Not entirely graphic or anything. Shower sex. **

**Read on. **

MAX

Two days later, I'm the first one in the kitchen in the morning and I take full advantage. I head to the fridge and start digging out food. Compared to two months ago, when the smell or mention of food made me throw up, _I'm starving_. Not to mention that, now that I'm eighteen weeks in, the others have been watching my eating, exercising and other normal interactions extremely closely.

I nab a roll of cinnamon rolls from the door shelf of the refrigerator, then a box of frozen chocolate chip waffles and syrup.

As soon as I turn around, though, Holden is staring at the food in my arms.

"Junk, junk, and junk," he says, pulling things from my pile.

"But…"

Nudge comes down into the kitchen then, smiling at me and yawning widely before dropping herself into a chair at the table. I look back at Holden and frown. "I-"

Holden talks over my excuse. "Just because you need to eat enough for two doesn't mean you can eat _anything_."

I frown and sit at the table while Holden returns my unhealthy choices to the fridge.

"Fine, then feed me."

Holden snorts. Just as he's about to tell me that I'm pregnant not disabled, Fang comes into the kitchen and pulls out a carton of eggs.

_Scrambled? _He thinks to me, without even looking at me. I frown.

"No, I want waffles."

"Scrambled."

"Max," Nudge says, leaning forward on the table with her elbows. Her phone is propped in her hands. "According to my _What to Expect _app, Baby's now the size of a sweet potato."

"Well, it sure doesn't look like it," I say, looking down at my obscenely large stomach.

" '_What to watch out for at 18 weeks_.' Apparently, you need to stop laying on your back when you sleep," Nudge says. Holden sits at the table with a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice, right between me and Nudge. I get up and fill myself a glass of white grape juice, making Nudge one, too. I hand it to her and she takes a long drink, then says, "Puts too much pressure on veins in your back."

I decide not to tell her I've already been avoiding that. She hums, scrolling with her thumb as she eats dry cereal from the box Holden placed next to her. " _'What does my baby look like at 18 weeks?' …_Oh, wow, apparently Baby's skin is kind of translucent, so you can see the blood vessels. Like an alien or something."

"Riveting," I say.

Nudge continues to read aloud. She murmurs, " '_What to expect with my partner at 18 weeks_,' " and I look over at Fang, who's making me some breakfast. I take a drink of my juice, sighing.

" 'Women at 18 weeks usually achieve orgasm more easily during sex due to intensified sensitivity.' "

I choke. The choices are spit-take all over Holden or swallow, so I swallow and then cough, leaning forward a little, trying to clear my throat. "Okay-"

She raises an eyebrow, still reading out loud. " 'However, for up to an hour after your orgasm, you may experience discomfort - don't worry, this is not harmful to the baby. Most positions are still okay, and too much pressure on the belly should not be a huge concern.' "

Okay, well that was kind of good to know, in the case of future fun time with Fang, but _jeez_.

" 'To keep it safe just in case, try certain positions-' "

"Alright, Nudge," I say with finality. Maybe that app was a little _too _informative.

"I know, I know. There's no such thing as 'safe sex.' Right Fang?"

It takes Fang a moment, but he finally responds with, "Yeah, don't forget it."

Nudge laughs. "Don't you guys get to find out what Baby is today?"

I smile at her. "Hopefully."

"Well," she says, "my fingers are crossed for a girl."

"God, I hope not. Especially if you keep calling her Baby. She'll think she's in _Dirty Dancing_!"

Nudge snorts. Fang brings over a heaping plate of eggs and sets it in front of me. He drops into the chair beside me with a mug of coffee and steals a forkful of eggs.

"If it's a girl there will be no dirty dancing, ever."

• • •

Once we get back home from the ultrasound appointment, it's about eleven in the morning. Fang has work at noon, so he doesn't stick around long.

"I'm going to go tell Ig," I say, kissing his quickly.

"Okay. I'll see you at five."

After he leaves, I make my way through the house with the envelope in my hands. Most of the others are in the living room. Holden and the Gasman are playing a war video game, and the girls are watching and rooting for either team. Nudge is screaming to Gazzy to "_use the Ebony Blade! Come on! Do I need to take over for you_?"

To which Angel replies with, "Nudge chill. I'm trying to read."

"Hey guys," I say, walking through the living room. Nudge tackles the Gasman, takes his controller, and pauses the game. While he yells at her for being a nutcase, Nudge grins up at me.

"_Sooo_?"

"Uh-uh," I say, holding the envelope behind my back. "Nope. Not telling."

"Max! Tell us," Nudge demands. "Please! I've been waiting forever, the suspense is killing me!"

"You'll find out when we all find out!"

Nudge glares. "Why can't we all find out _now_?"

"Nope, sorry. Back to your games."

I move out of the room despite their protests and up the stairs, heading for Iggy's room. He's got music on, and I tap the door firmly. In the next second, he's saying, "Come in."

"Hey. Ig."

"Hey," he says. "What's up?"

I sit down next to him on his bed.

"Give me your hand."

He actually turns his head toward me this time. "_What_?"

I sit up, taking Iggy's hand as I scoot closer. "Just…trust me," I say, putting my hand over his and pressing his palm into my abdomen. "You push, he pushes back. It's this game the baby likes to play with Mom's bladder. Feel it?"

Iggy looks unconvinced, but I feel the movement at the same time he does. Iggy's eyebrows shoot up. "Holy crap."

I laugh. "I know. Imagine waking up to that."

Iggy grins lightly, putting his other hand on my belly, too. "It's going to be a little kick-boxer."

"Trust me, I know." He seems a little tentative to actually put pressure on me, so I push down on his hand again. The baby moves in retaliation.

"Has Fang felt this?" Iggy asks.

I grin. "Yeah." I drop my voice lower. "He talks to my stomach sometimes, too. The baby likes that a lot. He'll start dancing."

Ig laughs, his sightless eyes flicking up towards my face. "The _baby_, I hope."

"Yeah, mostly the baby."

"Wow, Max." Iggy's sensitive fingers trail over my bellybutton, which has started to poke out a little bit. The heel of his palm pushes slightly against my bump and nearly thirty-seconds later, a firm kick hits right under his fingertips.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's cool, right?" I clear my throat. "So…I have a request."

"Okay."

"Fang and I went to the doctor the other day."

Iggy smirks. "What, do I get to know before everyone else?"

"…Kind of. Cathy didn't _tell _us the gender. I made her put it in this envelope."

Fang had come up with the genius idea, when I'd been worrying that Iggy may feel left out. Most of the flock members have seen me throughout my pregnancy; they've seen my stomach grow and the ultrasound pictures and all the cute baby things we've been buying. Iggy hasn't really gotten any of that. I just don't want him to be left out. Everything is changing, and I don't want him to get left behind in all the stuff he isn't exactly experiencing with us. Besides letting him feel the kick, there hasn't been much that's really brought him into the process of my pregnancy. I know this is exactly perfect for Iggy.

Iggy raises his eyebrows. His fingers leave my bump and I take that moment to reach for the envelope that I'd dropped on his comforter.

"We want to do one of those gender reveal things. You know what I'm talking about? A fun way to tell everyone what gender the baby is."

"Me? You want me to do it?" Iggy's eyebrows furrow doubtfully.

I chew on my cheek. "Yeah. I mean, if you want."

Iggy's eyebrows slowly relax and he nods. His mouth turns up in a smile. "Yeah. Yeah. Okay."

"Good! You know, a pink or blue cake, a box full of pink or blue balloons - whatever you want."

Iggy shakes his head. "I already know what I'm going to do."

I hesitate. "Okay, well don't do anything…like, _illegal_-"

Iggy ignores me, which actually worries me for a second. "Who's going to tell me? So that I know what color to do?"

I grab his hand and put the envelope in it. "I gave Cathy a blue slip of paper and a pink one. And since she promised me three times I'm not having more than one kid, there should be only one color in there."

"Cool. I'll start today."

"Good."

I don't leave right away, or say anything else, so Ig sets the envelope aside and sighs. He stretches out his wings behind the both of us, and I hear his joints pop as he swings them around to extend them fully. He lets them drop, and I say humorlessly, "Yeah, imagine how mine feel. I haven't flown in ages."

Iggy puts his hands on his knees and looks at me. "What's going on?"

I swallow. "Fang…Fang wants to go see Evelyn. For closure."

Iggy slouches slightly, his face twisting. "Go see her? Like, in jail?"

"Yeah," I say softly. "I…don't want him to."

"Well…maybe he needs to, Max," Iggy says. He shrugs, his fingers finding the envelope on his bed, playing with the partially-sealed flap.

I shake my head in frustration. "No. He's healed. He's better. Going back is just going to hurt him."

Iggy doesn't look like he agrees. He rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head. "How do you know? He's a lot stronger now."

I don't say anything. Iggy sighs.

"Look, you were more than ready to let him jump the gun on shit in the past - when he _wasn't _ready. School, sparring, relationship… This time, he's telling you he's ready, and it's probably the first time that he actually _is _ready, and you don't want to let him?" Iggy shrugs. "As if you can stop him?"

"I don't want him to get hurt," I say quietly.

"He won't. Trust him, Max." Iggy goes quiet, then adds gently, "Don't make him doubt himself."

"I'm not trying to! I just…I can't lose him, Ig."

Iggy shakes his head. His wing comes around me, and I lean my head on his shoulder. "If you didn't lose him the first time, you definitely won't lose him to this. This is just…his victory lap."

"Maybe you're right," I say finally, sighing. "Maybe…maybe you're right. He's different, now."

If Fang wants to run his victory lap, then I won't stop him. But he's not running it alone.

• • •

_I'm gonna pee my pants, I'm gonna pee my pants, please no one be in the bathroom-_

I push into the bathroom and shut the door firmly, wiggling my shorts down my legs quickly. One second I have my shorts halfway down my thighs, the next second Fang is standing literally right in front me, staring at me dumbly.

I don't even know what to say, but I do know that my pregnancy bladder is not going to wait, so I just shove down my shorts anyways and sit down. I start laughing at the look on his face, so hard I'm holding onto the counter to keep myself upright on the toilet.

"What the hell?" I laugh demandingly.

"I just got home. It was the easiest way to find you," Fang laughs, pinching his eyes shut. I think that's kind of unnecessary at this point, but I appreciate the privacy.

"I almost peed my pants on the way up the stairs," I say casually. "It seriously just…comes out of nowhere."

"Great," Fang says sarcastically. I stand up, yank my shorts up, and flush. As I'm washing my hands, I look at him through the mirror.

"Coming to tell me you're going out?" I ask casually.

"What? No. I was going to ask if you wanted to order a pizza," Fang says, watching me for a deeper meaning. "Ig refuses to stop his scheming to make dinner."

"Sounds good to me. I think I'm going to take a shower." I crook an eyebrow at him. "Do you want to join me?"

Fang is still studying me. For a second, I think he's actually going to say no. I honestly wouldn't be all that surprised, by the way he's been acting lately and how awkward its been between the two of us. But then he turns, opens the door, and pokes his head out into the hall.

"Gaz, order the pizzas! Usual!"

Gazzy calls back a bored, "Fine."

Fang closes the door and locks it, and I'm already stepping out of my clothes.

"I kind of thought you would say no," I say honestly, peeking at him while I reach around to unsnap my bra. Fang steps behind me and does it for me, pushing it down my shoulders.

"I want to just…hold you," Fang says quietly, in a very non-Fang manner. His voice is deep and serious, full of want. And, if I really dig under that, something else. Something sadder. Maybe guilt? I curl my toes into the bathmat under my feet and lean my head back on his shoulder while his big hands move over my belly and up to cup my breasts.

I let out a breath and turn around in his arms, pushing his shirt up and over his head. "I miss you. I miss you and I _live _with you. What the hell does that mean?"

Fang brushes my hair back with his fingers, cupping my chin. "It means I'm the worst boyfriend ever. Come on."

We shed the rest of our clothes and climb into the shower. Fang asks, "Do you want to take a bath, instead?"

I consider it, but the reminder of how it felt when we tried to get intimate underwater before made me shake my head. If I _am _going to get laid, I definitely don't want it to hurt. If I say anything hurts, Fang will immediately write it off as the pregnancy and never touch me again. No, the shower will do just fine.

We turn on the water and wait for it to warm up before Fang starts pushing me backwards into the spray. I close my eyes and lift my hands to my hair, getting it all sufficiently wet before I step closer to Fang and bring him under with me.

"You're so beautiful, Max," Fang murmurs, pouring some of my soap into his hands. He pulls me away from the water and starts scrubbing my shoulders. He takes his time, carefully scrubbing and massaging. His fingers work on the tight muscles in my neck, then slide around to stroke my stomach and sides caringly, leaving thick soapy trails of sweet-smelling soap on my skin.

"I'm sorry," Fang says gently, and I have a hunch he isn't talking about his lathering skills. "I know…you're mad at me."

My fingers cover his, move over my skin in sudsy trails with him. I swallow thickly. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just…scared."

He doesn't say anything right away, just moves his hands up my arms to wash there, too. He sighs. I feel his chest moving with his breath behind me. "I know."

_Do you? _I think. I don't know if he hears me or not, because it doesn't matter. Fang pulls me backwards gently, under the hot pour of the shower, and I feel his fingers travel over my body again, chasing away the sweet, clean smelling soap. I turn around and kiss him, right in the middle of the shower, Water slipping between our lips and getting caught in our kiss. Fang's fingers scratch against my back, slowing my up the outside edges of where my wings meet my spine.

We spin, so he's out of the water. I grab his soap from the shelf and squeeze a generous amount into my hands. I start on his chest, move upwards over his shoulders and down across his abs. I cover him. I glance down and see the soap moving down him in soapy lines, one sliding right down his cock. I swallow.

I wash his legs quickly, then move back up and push him into the water. As the soap rinses off him, I'm not sure what to do with myself. Before I can start to feel awkward, Fang kneels down. He pulls my leg up and I reach out to hold onto the wall. I think about the last time he did that, when he dropped to his knees and used his mouth on me - God, so long ago - and I have to hold back a groan. He doesn't do that this time, though. Fang washes one leg and then the other, and then lets the water wash it away again.

I take a small dab of soap in my hand and bravely wrap my hand around him. His eyes close, his knees lock, and suddenly he's nearly on top of me, pressing his body to me. I feel him grow hard and thick in my hand, throbbing. "Max..."

"Hmmm," I hum softly, stroking him _slowly_, so, so slowly.

"Max, you don't have to," Fang whispers, his voice barely audible. I nip at the skin of his shoulder, twisting my wrist as I move my hand on him.

This irrational fear swells up inside me, making my movements falter slightly. I can feel it, like he's about to tell me he wants me to stop. Like he's about to reject me. I swallow it down and whisper, "I want to."

I push myself up on my toes and press my mouth to his while I work him, slowly doing exactly what he loves with my hand just tight enough and my thumb slipping over the most important spots. I've gotten pretty good at this. It shows.

Fang's fingers slide up into my wet hair and tangle with my roots, tugging my head back so he can kiss me better. He's moving his hips now, up into my hand as I work him, and he groans while he takes my lip into his mouth. We're so close my knuckles drag against both of our stomachs when I stroke him, and I can feel the heat of his erection against my skin as he pushes against me.

When he's close and he's rutting mindlessly, he murmurs against my cheek, "Can I make love to you?"

I just barely keep myself from crying, which is dumb. I look up at him, and choke out, "You have to _ask_?"

He closes his eyes and kisses me once. I bite my lip and push him under the spray, washing the remaining soap off him. Soap…up there…is not pleasant. Once he's clean, I turn in his arms and pull his body against mine, so he's standing directly behind me. I spread my feet a little, lean forward to rest my palms on the tile wall, and push back against him in a silent, _I'm ready. _

One of his hands comes around me and rests on my bump. The other finds me, works me slowly with his fingers until I'm practically begging him to get on with it. With one solid movement of his hips behind me, he rocks into me, so hard I lift up onto my toes. I try not to cry out at the feeling, but it's nearly overwhelming. My muscles tighten on him and struggle with the sudden intrusion - but my body needs him so badly right now. I push back impatiently on him, desperate to feel all of him, the good and the bad, the shock of pleasure and the sting of the pain, anything he'll give me right now. Fang puts his free hand on my hip, breathing, "Wait, wait - Max, fuck. You feel so, _ungh_, so good. Don't move."

_I have to wait for her_, he thinks, cursing my incredible hand job skills. I smile but he can't see it, and I take his fingers from where they're mindlessly stroking my swollen abdomen and pull them down to touch me where I need it. Fang sucks on the skin behind my ear, moving in small little jerks and swivels of his hips.

I lean forward and rest my forehead on the tile wall. I feel water running over my back, through my feathers, down between us. I close my eyes and just succumb to the feeling of having Fang inside me. I love it, have since we started, and I can't get over how perfect it feels to have him again. I love when he jerks, pushes, forces his way into me, finding spots he _knows _render me speechless. I love how he can be so tender and firm at the same time. How he can slam into me like his life depends on it, yet hold me close to him lovingly, gently, as if he has all the time in the world. I let him know how much I love it with low noises - the others are all home, of course - and little pushes back against him mid-thrust. I put one of my hands over his on my abdomen and rock with him as well as I can.

He feels spectacular. Our bodies are pressed tightly together, Fang slightly hunched over me, and we're close. We're so close, yet I feel distant from him still. I hate it. I turn my head let my lips graze his cheek.

Probably reading my mind, Fang groans, "I want to see you."

Fang's forehead falls to my shoulder and his hips painstakingly coming to a stop. I gasp, "Yes. Please."

He pulls out, helps me turn around. I lift one leg and wrap it around his hip, and his fingers latch onto me under my knee and help get me situated, and then both hands come up on either side of my face. Fang stares down at me lovingly, both thumbs stroking over my cheekbones and down my lips, finally resting right under my chin. He kisses water from our shower off my nose and cheeks, and smiles at me.

"I love you," he whispers.

I let out a choked, "Thank God for that."

Fang squints at me. "Did you doubt it?"

"No," I breathe. "But I love hearing it."

Fang leans in and kisses me, and I reach down between us and grasp his firm erection again, pulling him closer. I let him slip between my legs, I feel him move smoothly against my soft folds, and I know that this second time around, neither of us will last long.

"_Fang_," I moan, rolling my head back at the torturous feeling of him right there, practically inside me. I open my eyes tiredly, blinking away the water on my lashes. "Fang."

"What?"

I look up at him, sliding my hand around his head. "If you could…go back and change it," I whisper, using my other hand to take his and put it on my stomach, "would you?"

Fang's façade crumbles. He looks heartbroken that I'd even think it, that the idea is even in my mind, and he pulls me close - closer and closer until we aren't one person, but we're almost fucking there and it's _wonderful_.

"I'd never wish away what you've given me," he murmurs quietly. "I love you so much. I…I just…" His forehead falls forward onto mine. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if his excuses or whatever he wanted to say doesn't matter. I swallow and grasp his erection again, directing him to me.

Fang breathes, "_You two are my life now_."

He joins us again, sliding firmly into me, and I lean my head back against the tile with a groan. I let him take over, and I hear his words in my head again and again and tell myself they're true.

• • •

It's almost midnight when Fang comes to bed. I'm laying facing him as he crawls in, my long body pillow propped under me.

"Damn, I hate this thing," Fang says, looking at the barrier with disdain. I smile.

"I love it. It's like a cloud. It's so much softer than you."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "For good reason. I'm not a pillow."

I laugh. "For good reason."

Fang scoots closer and kisses my forehead before rolling onto his back. I reach an arm over the expanse of my body pillow and rub up and down his bicep, closing my eyes.

"I…I think you should go see Evelyn. If you want to."

I can feel the look he's giving me, the complete and utter shock. I don't open my eyes, mostly because I'm still terrified about this entire ordeal. Fang sighs and rolls over to face me.

"Max."

"I trust you, Fang. And I know that you need this. So, I think you should go. I won't stop you."

His fingers brush some of my hair back, and I still don't open my eyes.

"Max, look at me."

I let out a long, shuddering breath and look at him.

"We're fine," Fang promises.

"I know," I say, nodding into my pillow.

_Thank you for understanding_, Fang thinks. He leans forward and I tilt my chin up, letting him kiss me.

I pull back and say, my eyes locked with his finally, "But I'm not letting you do it alone. I'm coming, too."


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Three reviews. Yikes. Did I scare y'all off? I hope not, because there are only two chapters left anyways. **

**Nola96: Yes, they did need that moment! I think they've been in limbo for a while, dealing with the last of Fang's issues with him mother. They're both trying, though, so that's definitely important. Yeah! I thought Iggy needed his own involvement. It's so damn hard trying to include eight characters, and then some, but I'm trying. Thanks for the review! **

**Resisting-Moonlight: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Of course Max won't let him do it alone - it's **_**Max**_**. Thanks for reviewing. **

**Loserslovereadin: Well, Fang and Max have kind of taken to calling the baby a "he" by default, which was mentioned a few chapters ago when they were first getting their ultrasound pictures. But I can see how that would be confusing. Anyways, thanks! I needed some better way to introduce the gender of the baby, rather than "It's a boy!" SO, when in doubt, give the hard jobs to Ig. Haha. Thanks for the review!**

**Read on. **

MAX

"No."

Like I didn't see this coming.

"It's not up for discussion."

I pull my hand away from Fang and grab my pillow, flinging it over my back. Then, I slowly and carefully roll over, facing away from him. I resituate myself against my body pillow and sigh.

"Max, no."

"Goodnight, Fang."

""You're not coming."

"Love you."

"Max, stop!"

I feel the bed shift violently and look over my shoulder. Fang's sitting upright now, a look of complete distress on his face. I close my eyes, resting my cheek against my pillow once more.

"Don't tell me to stop. This is called a compromise, it's how adults solve problems."

"This isn't a joke."

I sigh and push myself onto my back. I stare up at him, trying to figure out why he's so worked up about this.

"If you're so sure that she isn't going to have any affect on you, and that this is going to be easy as pie, why can't I come with you?"

Fang shakes his head. I touch his leg, trying to pull him out of his thoughts for a second. He shakes his head again and looks down at me, his eyes searching mine.

"Fang. Lay down."

I tug on him until he's lying behind me, and I can hug my pillow again. I reach up and grab his hand, the one that's resting on my waist, and tug it further around me, bringing him closer.

"Tell me why."

"She'll try to send me back by talking about it," Fang says. "I'm almost positive. If there's one tactic she knows used to work on me, it was just…talking shit on me. Reminding me how weak I was, how helpless."

"Nothing she can say now can break us," I say squeezing his fingers. "You're stronger than her. When I said that the other day, I wasn't just saying it. I mean it. She'll try to break you but she _won't_, Fang."

"I know she won't," Fang tells me. His voice is barely even a whisper, and it's muffled even more by my hair. I hold my breath and listen, waiting for what he's trying to say. "But I don't want you to see me the way she does. Not even for a second. I don't want her to even put the image in your head. Having that image of myself, after I got out…it was the hardest thing to get over."

I bring Fang's hand down to my belly, in mine, and slowly run my fingers over his skin. The hair on his arm is long and dark, but the inside of his elbow is soft. I press my thumb there, then drag it down, all the way to his palm.

"Fang…if you don't know by now that I'm totally in this, you haven't been paying attention. After everything you've told me…everything we've survived together…nothing can change how I feel about you."

Fang doesn't say anything.

"She _hurt _you. She told you things about yourself that weren't true. But her end game was to break you, Fang. And you aren't broken. That's what makes you stronger than her. She _lost_." I turn my head so I'm looking at him out of the corner of my eye. "A few harsh words aren't going to change that."

My boyfriend is completely silent and still behind me for all of three seconds. Then he lets out a long breath, burying his face in my hair. "You want to come with me?"

I shove my arms around my body pillow and close my eyes. "Yes. I'm not letting you go alone."

He still hesitates, so I think, _You've been there for me when I faced my villains. Let me do the same for you, Fang. If you doubt yourself for even a second, I'll be there. _

_You don't have to go it alone. That's what I'm for. _

Fang just kisses the back of my head, and I take that as a victory.

• • •

_One month later_

"Love you."

That's it. Fang hasn't said anything since he whispered that against my firm baby bump this morning. He had then proceeded to crawl up, kiss my lips gently, and then lie beside me in silence until I got up and started getting dressed.

He has big plans for today, but thinking about them makes my stomach turn, so I shut down the thoughts and just focus on getting ready. Since getting myself into a pair of decent jeans is already hard work, I wiggle into a pair of black leggings. My choice of top today is a mostly-clean grey pullover of Fang's which is lying on top of the dresser haphazardly.

I glance over at Fang, but he is lying still with his eyes closed and his mind blocked from me. Ever since he decided what he wanted to do today, he's been doing that. Blocking me.

I'd stubbornly fought him on trying to make me stay home while he goes out to do this alone. Since I wasn't backing down, Fang finally caved. I think maybe he only gave in because he was tired of fighting with me. Or perhaps he caved because deep down, he actually wanted me with him.

"May want to get up," I say, tugging my hair into a ponytail. "We don't want to miss the appointment."

Fang doesn't do anything to show that he's heard me. I poke my tongue into my cheek and force myself not to press him. After a moment, he gets up, too and starts to get dressed. I quietly fuss around the room, straightening things that don't need to be straightened. I make the bed. I take the time to fold my pajamas before shoving them in the top drawer of the dresser. Finally he looks at me and says, "I'm fine, Max. Stop."

I look at him. I slowly close the dresser drawer, nodding. "Okay. I'm going to get something to eat before we go. Do you want anything?"

"Just grab me a granola bar. We need to head out," Fang says, pulling on jeans.

I leave the room without saying anything else. I get into the kitchen, pocket my phone that was sitting on the counter, then dig out a box of granola bars for the road. I nab a water bottle for myself then busy myself by filling a thermos of black coffee for Fang. He comes down as I begin pouring in the hazelnut creamer he likes.

"Thanks," he whispers, kissing my cheek. Despite it being ten in the morning, the house is quiet. Fang and I are the only ones up so far, as everyone is either sleeping in or refusing to get out of bed yet. I count this as a blessing, only because we don't have to deal with any of their worry or anxiety about our plans before we leave. It's best that we leave before anyone has time to shoot us a _good luck_.

As we drive, Fang and I listen to an acoustic radio station and eat our way through the box of granola bars. We don't talk much at all, which is fine with me. Fang doesn't mind the silence and neither do I. As we pull up to the building, I watch his face. He finds a spot to park in the side parking lot and turns off the car, pocketing his keys.

"You can wait out here," Fang says softly. I look out the window at the short grey building, noting the barbed wire fence and the bars on the few windows in the front of the structure.

"No, I'm coming, too," I say. "I'm not letting you face her alone this time."

I haven't told Fang yet, about the other appointment under his name yet. But that one isn't until twelve-thirty, and it's only ten in the morning. Which is good, because we aren't at _that _appointment.

We're at the women's state penitentiary.

Fang looks at me, contemplative and a little thankful, before shutting off the car. We weren't allowed to come without an appointment, and Evelyn is and always will be on strict lockdown. No chance of parole. Only one, scheduled visit per month. The man on the phone had told Fang and I that we were the first visit she'd ever had. Not shocking.

Coming here has me thinking a lot, about the night we rescued Fang. When Dylan tried to kill Fang, and then himself. I can't help but think of Dylan, under lockdown, never getting his one visit per month. And I know he won't get that one visit, ever - because he's not here in Colorado or in prison. He's in a mental health facility in New York.

It still pisses me off that Evelyn is so close to home. When she was first locked up, I'd fought tooth and nail to get her sent back to New York and do her time there. However, her lawyer fought for this prison instead because it was higher security, had one of the best psychological specialists in the country, and allowed her to be relatively close to Emma, in case her daughter ever wanted to visit.

So, Evelyn now presides only a couple hours away from us. And, while I am willing to go on pretending she is dead and buried, Fang is set on this. He says he isn't going any longer without any real closure, and since he isn't allow to get the revenge he'd like, we're settling for this.

As soon as we're inside, they know who we are and why we're there. Fang's arm slides around my waist as they get Evelyn into the visiting room. We're able to watch, from where the guards usually do. It's like an interrogation room, except the window goes both ways. She can see us.

His fingers rub gently against the side of my waist when they bring her in. She should look evil and horrible and deadly, but she doesn't. She just looks like a normal woman.

God. She should look like Maleficent or something.

"You…stay in here."

I nod. I want to argue that I should get a piece of her, too, but this is not my battle. Fang gets this one. She sits slowly into the chair and they cuff her wrists to the table. It makes me feel _really _good to see her chained up. Maybe too good.

The guard comes in and tells us that we can go in now, if we're ready. Fang kisses my temple gently and then leaves the small room I'm in. Her eyes are trained on me, on my bump, on my worried fingers playing with the zipper of Fang's pullover. She watches me until it makes my skin crawl, and it takes all my willpower not to look away. Until the door opens to her room.

Then her eyes are on him.

Facing her is supposed to be good for him. If he can't get closure any other way, he can have it this way. Show her she's lost. Show her that he's come out on top.

She says something horrible right off the bat. With a nod toward the window, she says casually, "What a fucking mess you've made."

And I know this is not going to go as planned.

Fang - I'm so damn proud of him - contains his anger and sits. Both guards stand next to me, watching silently.

"Have you been keeping my letters from Emma?" Evelyn asks, her eyebrow raised.

"She gets them," Fang says. He doesn't add that she tosses them in the trash almost immediately after, but I think that goes unsaid. Evelyn flinches. I hope that hurts. I hope that kills her inside.

"And how are you holding up?" she asks, smiling. As if it makes her happy to think that he struggles to get by each day solely because of her.

"Great," Fang says. I see his fist clenching and unclenching and know that he is really restraining himself.

She doesn't look happy by this answer. Seeing her disappointment is sweet. Seeing the look on her face when she sees she might not have ruined him forever is something I will never unsee. I won't let myself. I force myself to memorize it. Fang's doing the same exact thing.

"You could have been much more," Evelyn says after a second of silence. Fang looks at me. _More than a husband and a father and a best friend? What else is there? _

I smile gently at him. He is so much more than that. A brother to the flock and a writer to the world and a son, to _my _mom. A lover. A soul mate.

"I could have been nothing," Fang says finally, standing up. "But then I got over you. You don't haunt me anymore. You mean nothing to me now."

The breath whooshes out of me. My eyes are pricking with tears, but not of sadness. Fang is strong and healthy. I can see it. He's _my _Fang, my rock, freeing himself and standing up to his demons like he has his whole life, saying, _Go to hell_.

God. I am so proud of him.

He looks proud of himself, too. He heads for the door, satisfied. I'd told him not to go in there expecting an apology, or sympathy, or anything. And he'd known that. But what he just got was better, because the look on her face was priceless. The loss power over him shows in her face.

"Maybe that child of yours will be a better test subject, anyways," she calls as a last resort. "That's all you'll ever be, honey. You and your kid. _Lab rats_."

It's a stupid threat, because she'll never get out of prison and absolutely never get her hands on this baby. But Fang can't handle that - who _could_? I watch as he turns around and hits her, right in the face, as hard as he can which is pretty damn hard. She jerks against her chains with the blow, her body nearly falls out of the chair.

I watch and keep watching because I can't _not_. I watch the guards turn a blind eye to the violence which, in any other situation, would have gotten Fang in big, _big _trouble. I watch Evelyn's face bleed.

Fang does not hit her again. Even if I know that the only thing he wants in the world is to beat the life out of her, he does not hit her a second time. He just tells her she's pathetic, and she takes the insult as she gasps and blood drips down her cheek. As soon as he turns toward the door again, I spin around and run to the hall where I wait for him. He looks at me, the guards, then passes me and walks further down the hall to a visitor bathroom. I follow him in quietly.

It's a single bathroom with a simple toilet and sink, and Fang pumps antibacterial soap into his hands and scrubs, hard, then rinses and shuts off the water.

He looks at me through the mirror. "What time is it?"

I swallow. "Eleven." I rip off some paper towel for him and hand it to him. "Are you okay?"

He takes a second. Dries his hands carefully, throws the paper towel in garbage. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"She's a bitch," I blurt, trying to keep the mood light.

"I know," Fang says. He pulls me to him and hugs me hard, his arms coming around me. I say to his shoulder, "Like, a huge bitch. She's fucking mean. I'm so glad you hit her. She didn't even see it coming, that right hook was like-"

"Max, shut up."

"Okay."

I look up at him, touching his cheek. "Sure you're okay?"

"I probably wasn't supposed to hit her."

"I don't think the guards are going to say anything if you don't," I say honestly. I reach down and grab his hand, running my fingertips over his raw knuckles. "I'm so proud of you."

"I know," Fang says, brushing his lips against my forehead. "Thanks. You got me through it."

I smile, winding my arms around his middle. "That's what I'm here for."

We stay like that quietly, letting ourselves take a minute alone after that nerve-wracking ordeal. I try not to be too nosy, but I dip into his mind to make sure he's alright. I know what seeing Evelyn in chains and broken down by Fang's strength did for me, and I can only imagine what it's done for him.

"So, what, we just leave?"

"Yeah," Fang says. "Are you ready?"

I roll my eyes. "No, I wanted to hit the gift shop." Even as I say it, though, I feel antsy just being in the high-security building. I'm practically bouncing on my toes. I need to get out of this place.

Fang rolls his eyes back and slips his arm around my shoulders, pushing me out of the restroom first.

We walk down the quiet hallway towards the front secretary desk. The two guards who had accompanied us stare, but when I look at them, they just wave us to the door. We don't argue. We slip out of the door without another word, pass through the metal detectors, then make our way to Fang's car.

Fang is just unlocking his door when his cell phone rings. He looks down at it, raises an eyebrow, and slides into the car, unlocking my door, too. I slide into the passenger's seat.

"I don't know the number," he says. "Hang on."

I watch him hit _Answer_.

"Hello?"

I can hear the feminine voice on the other end of the phone. "Uh, Mr. Ride? This is Patti Butler, with Mr. Wilde at _The Tribune_. I'm just calling to confirm your interview at twelve-thirty this afternoon?"

I look at him with wide eyes, and he glares at me.

_I had no idea they were going to call you! _I think frantically. _Say yes!_

Fang opens his mouth to speak, then runs his hand down his face. "Yes. Yes, I'll be there. Twelve-thirty."

"Great. We'll see you soon."

"Great, thanks," Fang hangs up and looks at me calmly. He opens his mouth and I squeal, "Don't get mad at me! I only sent in an online application! They wanted a portfolio, so-"

"You sent in my CSM work?" Fang demands.

"No," I say, squeezing my eyes shut. "I mean yes, but…also…" I open one eye to peek at him. "Also your blog."

The look of shock on Fang's face is unbelievably animated. "Max! That shit isn't even journalism!"

"Fang! The guy loved it! Their editor emailed back saying he wanted to have an interview with you. He said something about wanting a young, clever addition to the staff - someone with great life experience who will pull in younger readers. He was tired of people buying the paper just for coupons and the funnies, and _you _were exactly what he wanted." I shrug. "He said there's a columnist position open, so I…I set up an appointment. As you."

"Max, what were you thinking?"

I shrug, smoothing my fingers over my belly. "I tried to get him to set up the appointment on a different day, but he's going out of town for a convention for a week. He wanted it today. I figured I'd wait to see how you handled all of this," I wave my hands around us to motion to the nearly empty penitentiary parking lot, "before telling you about it."

"I'm…not even ready!"

"I brought you a nice shirt," I say, looking over my shoulder into the backseat. "Only if you want to go."

Fang doesn't say anything. He's completely at a loss for words. I say tentatively, "You don't have to worry about what to say or anything. This guy saw your real, honest work and _loved _it, Fang. It wouldn't hurt to just…go to the interview. You've got nothing to lose."

"What…what sets me apart?"

I look at him like he's crazy. "Did you honestly just ask me that question?"

Fang nods, his eyebrows drawing together. "You're right. Where's the shirt?"

I grin excitedly, reaching into the backseat quickly before he can change his mind. I throw the shirt at him and take the t-shirt he strips off away, folding it up.

As he buttons up, he glances up at me. I smile, leaning back against my seat.

"Thank you, Max."

"You're welcome," I say quietly.

"No really," Fang says, finishing up his last button. He leans over and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "Thank you."

• • •

The building housing _The Tribune _is huge. One of the biggest buildings in the city. It's also one of the most prominent papers in our area, which is why I even applied for him in the first place. No matter how much he loves working for my mom or the non-profit CSM organization, he can do a lot more with his skills than write newsletters for his own staff members. Fang's smart, and his writing is genius, and I think he could probably do great on a real news staff.

I go inside with him, looking around at the old, historical details of the building. It's a beautiful building, full of bustling people, loud typing and hundreds of voices talking over each other.

And that's just what I can hear through the door of the receptionists room.

"Can I help you?" the woman at the desk asks. Fang gives her his name and she nods, typing on the computer.

"Ms. Butler will be down to receive you in just a moment," the woman says, quickly returning back to her work. Fang looks at me and I shrug.

"Be yourself," I say.

"Gee, Mom, any more advice for me?"

I elbow him. He looks down at me and I lift both my shoulders. "This guy read your blog, Fang. You've _literally _documented felonies on your blog, and he still wants to hire you. I don't think you can fuck this up."

"Probably has to do with the fact that the entire world knows who we are," fang murmurs.

"So? We have to reap the benefits of our bad luck somehow." I squeeze his hand. "How about by getting you a job?"

"You say that like I don't have a job," Fang says. "What about _you_?"

"Oh, trust me, I tried to convince the PD to just let me start on the team now, despite the fact that I'm six months pregnant," I drawl. "But they weren't into it. I have a bunch of tests to pass first, and though I think I'll breeze through the physical evaluation, I _might _need to refresh my knowledge of the law."

"Might?" Fang quips. "I didn't commit those felonies alone you know."

I smile at him. "You sure you're okay for this?"

Fang shoots me a look. "How many times do I have to say I'm okay?"

"One more."

"I'm okay," Fang says, dropping a kiss on my head. "I actually feel ten times better than I have in… a long time."

"Good," I say.

A woman comes in through the door, unleashing the chaotic noise of the newsroom to our ears. "Mr. Ride?"

"Good luck. I'll be here."

Fang squeezes my waist and then leaves me, shaking the lady's hand and following her through the door.

I sigh, unsure what to do with myself now. The receptionist offers me a drink, and I decline, sitting tiredly in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. I look around the room at the framed issues of _The Tribune _and the staff photographs. One large picture of a middle-aged man has a plaque underneath that says, _Mr. Trent Wilde, Editor in Chief_.

He looks kind enough. Hopefully he isn't a dick. If he pisses Fang off, then he probably won't end up working here.

I wait for what feels like two hours. I look at the clock on the way, and it's only about one forty-five. Just as I'm wondering how much longer Fang will be in with Mr. Wilde, the door opens. Fang and the Editor himself come out. I shoot out of my chair, straightening my shirt over my belly.

"Hello, Ms. Ride," Mr. Wilde says, stepping right up in front of me. "We talked quite a bit about you. It's good to meet you in person."

"Oh, you talked about me, huh? Anything I should be worried about?"

"No," he says, laughing. "Although I can tell that Fang will never run out of things to write about."

I spin on Fang. "You got offered a job?" I hiss. I turn back to Wilde without waiting for Fang's response. I reach my hand out and shake his, totally ecstatic that I didn't set Fang up for failure with my impromptu application. "Thanks so much. It was great meeting you."

"No, thank you. Fang, we'll see you on Monday? Talk about starting salary."

Fang nods, shaking Wilde's hand firmly. "Thank you, sir. Monday it is."

Wilde smiles, walks by his receptionist and mentions a conference call at four, then disappears through the door. I slide my eyes over to Fang, grinning.

"I just got a job," Fang says.

"You just got a freaking _sick _job," I say excitedly, grabbing his arm. "Do you know how awesome this is?"

Fang just folds his arms around my shoulders, and smashes his mouth to mine, right in the middle of the receptionist's room. I grab his collar and pull him closer, closing my eyes.

• • •

"Okay! Everyone outside!"

Iggy, Aaron and the Gasman come inside, howling and ordering everyone outside that night.

"What's for dinner?" I ask crankily, following Fang downstairs. "I'm starving."

"It's outside. Go outside."

I let Aaron steer me outside to the back patio, where dinner is laid out on the picnic table. There are also two pitchers of drinks.

"Pink lemonade and blue Kool-Aid," Nudge says, pointing the drinks.

Aaron frowns. "Yeah, Nudge wouldn't let me make Jell-O shots."

"What's the point! Half of us can't have them, and Max is pregnant and can't have alcohol!"

Aaron shrugs. "Well, we could've made virgin Jell-O shots."

Nudge squints at him. "That's just Jell-O."

I spin to look at Iggy, who's standing on the edge of the patio, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Wait, we're doing this now?"

"Yeah," he says casually. "Go get some food. We're waiting on Val and Ella."

I look around. There are no decorations, no cake, no huge conspicuous cardboard box.

"What's the plan?" I ask curiously, because it's killing me that I don't know.

Iggy glares. "Go. Eat."

I sit down at the table besides Fang, who's already begun loading up a plate of food. I'm almost expecting the food to be weirdly colored pink or blue. It isn't.

"What's his plan?" I ask quietly to Fang, who shrugs.

"I really don't know."

Nudge hands everyone a small plastic cup. "Okay, you get the color drink of your guess. No mixing - _Gazzy_."

Gazzy rolls his eyes and pours himself a cup of pink lemonade. Slowly, everyone fills their cups with their choice of pink or blue. We make our way through most of the food before Ella and Mom finally arrive. Once Nudge has them both situated with the drink of their choice, we all settle in at the table and begin talking. No one asks about or visit to Evelyn, and we don't tell. Instead I animatedly tell the story of how I got Fang his dream job, and he interrupts only to correct my exaggerations.

Finally, I realize something. "Where's Iggy?"

The Gasman grins. "Don't worry about it, Max."

But I can't just not worry about it. All the bogus gender-reveal ideas that Iggy could've come up with fly through my head, and I get up from the table, looking around.

"No, this isn't funny. I told him all I wanted was a simple gender-reveal party. A cake with food-coloring dyed mix, or a bunch of pink or blue balloons or silly string or something. Now he ditches? This is stupid-"

Aaron says, "Max, just give him a minute!"

And nothing happens.

"What-"

"Just wait, Max."

So, I wait. Fang comes up behind me, wraps an arm around me, and I lean into him and I wait.

I'm about to open my mouth to complain again, probably calling Iggy some choice words.

And then, the sky explodes in enormous, blue fireworks.


	50. Epilogue

**A/N: Well, here we are. **

**As usual, thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed this story. It wouldn't be anything without you guys! Big thanks especially to FaxFiction and Nola96, for planting the seed in my mind to write this story. **

**Subscribe and follow for any upcoming stories that I may or may not whip out of my arsenal. I'm hoping to have something to post by Christmas, and if all goes as planned, it will be my Post-Fang adult fic **_**Reunion**_**. But…that story is mostly ideas, nothing solid yet. **

**Anyways, PM me and keep in touch! See you all hopefully soon. **

**Hope you love it. **

**Read on. **

_Epilogue_

AARON

I've learned a lot, being around the flock. For instance, if you're going for a pat on the back, don't. They don't like when someone smashes their wings against their backs without warning. Pat on the shoulder. Or the arm. Or, just fist bump. That works.

Don't think anything personal around Angel. She's more observant than you'd think for a ten year old, and she _knows _what blackmail is. And she knows how to use it. How else do you think she gets such expensive birthday gifts out of me?

What else? Maybe that it's okay to sneak Nudge into a Rated-R movie, but it's not okay to cover for her when she begs you to pick her up from a party she got totally buzzed at. It's also probably not okay to hide it from Max by letting said-drunk-teenager crash on your couch.

And sort of related to that last one: When Max finds out you hid shit from her - okay, just don't hide shit from her. It isn't worth it.

The big one, though, is that if there's a fight, keep a safe distance away and tread lightly.

"Get the hell _out_!"

"Max, stop," Fang says, holding his hands out to her. "You're going to hurt the-"

In her blind rage, Max grabs one of the kitchen chairs, holding onto it so tight that her knuckles are white. "Fang, if you tell me one more time that I'm hurting the baby, I will kill you. And being fatherless? _That will hurt the baby_!"

Fang rolls his eyes. "Max-"

"Who's been carrying the kid for eight months? Me! Not you! Shut the fuck up!"

"Stop, Max, he can _hear _you going postal-"

Max swings the chair up and Fang takes a definitive step back. "_Have you completely lost it_?" he demands.

See, that last tip of advice is the most important. If you _don't _keep a safe distance, if you _don't _tread lightly? Well, then, you may find yourself like Fang, right now, with a chair hurtling at your head. He throws his hands up to protect himself from the blow, but one of the wooden legs still lobs him in the forehead.

Ouch.

"You fucking psycho!" Fang howls, cupping a hand over the left side of his face. _Damn, she got him good_. "It's like all your pregnancy hormones have been just building up and now you're a volcano of _nonsensical bullshit_!"

"Get out! I hate you!"

"No!"

"_Fang, get the fuck away from me_!"

I choose now as a proper time to stop peeping through the front window and open the door, tentatively stepping into the living room. I look around with wide eyes, taking in a completely distraught Max and a Fang who is near his boiling point.

"Is something wrong?"

The look Max shoots me nearly murders me on the spot. She huffs, wiping her face and breathing in, hard. She slides her glare right back over to Fang and exhales. She's not done.

Neither is he.

"You don't get to just-"

"GET OUT!"

I throw down my car keys and feel Fang push past me angrily.

"Dude, what-"

The door slams shut.

_\- the hell did you do to wake the pregnant dragon?_

I contemplate going after him for a split second, and then I hear Max's crying reach a new level of anguish. I turn, heaving a sigh, and kick out of my shoes. "Max. What's going on?"

She brushes the wetness from her cheeks. She looks like shit, but it's not her fault. Though her face is red and her nose is running, and that one vein in her forehead is pulsing with fury, she's trying to pull herself together.

"What's going on?" Max repeats, her voice sour. "What a _good question_." With that, she just shrugs, turning to make her way back upstairs carefully, one hand on her belly. I don't really have much of a choice but to follow her up - not too close, but close enough that if she loses her footing I can catch her.

She heads into her room and I follow. As we move past the bathroom, I hear the shower running. The door is wide open.

"Is anyone else home?" I ask her.

"What do you think?" Max snarls.

I roll my eyes and move into the bathroom. For some ungodly reason, Max's beloved body pillow is lying in the tub, the showerhead blasting above. I reach into the shower and shut off the water, staring down at the pillow in disdain.

I'm not saying I understand these people, okay? I'm just saying I _try_.

There's really nothing I can do about the pillow right now, so I leave the bathroom and go into Max and Fang's room to focus on the direr job at hand. Max is carefully crawling onto the bed, hiccupping slightly.

"He's awake, now," Max mutters, my hand smoothing over her stomach. Her eyes screw shut and she gasps in pain, pressing her palm against the movement. "Sorry, honey, everything's okay."

I can tell by the discomfort on her face that the baby isn't calmed by her words - and he's kicking _hard_.

"Max? Why is there a pillow in the shower?" I ask, sitting down on the bed next to her.

Max groans. "My fucking pillow. Fang is _such _a dick. Ow!"

"Come here," I say, rolling onto my back. "You need to calm down. Going batshit isn't good for-"

I realize what the two of them were _just _arguing about seconds ago and shut up. Max slowly rolls toward me and lies against me, her head on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I ask calmly, stroking her hair away from her face.

"Shut up," Max slurs, putting her hand on my chest and curling her fingers into my shirt. "Just be my pillow."

I don't know how long we just lay in her bed, Max hiccupping into my shoulder, her fingers still clutching my shirt right below the neckline. I stay quiet, comfortingly rubbing up and down her arm, trying to get her to calm down. Every once in awhile she shifts, mumbling something to the baby who still hasn't let up. She's really uncomfortable, and with good reason. I can only guess how it feels to have a little foot kick the shit out of you from the inside constantly. (Thank God.)

Finally, after forever, Max says quietly, "Fang doesn't want to marry me."

Okay, for some reason, that just doesn't sound like Fang. He proposed at fifteen, for fuck's sake. I don't think that he's deciding to back out _now_. I don't buy it.

Still, _I tread lightly _\- one of the best Flock Lessons I've ever learned. It always comes in handy. I move my hand down to rub the small of her back, hoping to ease some of the discomfort for her.

"Did he say he didn't want to get married?"

"He asked me if I was sure," Max says.

I roll my eyes, because this is such an Emotional-Max situation. "That's not the same thing, Max."

"Shut up. Who asked you, anyways?"

I do as she says. Max slides one of her legs over mine, shifting to take the weight off her back. I try to help, but I can tell I'm nothing like that fucking body pillow, and I find myself cursing Fang, too, for ruining it.

After a few minutes of silent shifting and adjusting, I realize that my pants leg is wet. What? Did it get wet when I turned off the shower?

Then it hits me.

"Max."

_Oh, fuck. _

"What?"

_Oh, please, don't make this happen right now. _

"My pants are wet," I say in whisper.

Max rolls away, wiping her nose. "Gross."

Oh, no, no, no, no - _This is not my job!_

"Yeah, well, it was you," I say. Max stares at me in horror, glancing from me and then her pants and back to me. I scratch the back of my head, readying myself for the apocalypse.

"Oh, my God! Aaron, oh, my God! No! Fang was supposed to be here! Oh, my God…" Her eyes start watering again, and she hunches over, both hands clamped on her belly.

I sit forward on my knees, one hand on her shoulder. "Max? Do you hurt?"

She looks up at me, still frantic. "N-Not really."

I drag a hand down my face, totally flipping the fuck out right now. "I never finished the book, Max! I don't know how to deliver a baby! I can't do this. Oh, shit. I'm not ready."

Max grabs my wrist. "Shut. Up." Her eyes dart between mine. She reaches up and wipes her face, and says with a determination I've come to dread, "Shut up, Aaron. Shut the fuck up."

She crawls off the bed, hands still on her belly, as if that will keep the little bugger in there. As if that will gain us any time. She moves over to her dresser, pulls out a clean pair of shorts and some underwear, and snaps at me to shut my eyes. I do, and I hear her shifting from foot to foot as she puts on dry pants.

"Max, what are you-?"

"Shut up!"

The next sounds I hear are footsteps. When I open my eyes, Max is gone and I officially start to think she's nuts. I see a bag near the dresser and pull it onto the bed. I unzip it and find it stuffed with shit for Max and the baby. Thank God they packed this early. I sling the bag over my shoulder and run down the stairs. I find Max in the kitchen, gripping the counter with both hands.

"Are we going to the hospital?" I ask tentatively.

"No," Max wheezes. "No, you know why? I am not having this child without Fang. This child will only be born when Fang is here. And I am not in labor. _I am not in labor_."

"I…don't think it works that way, Max," I say, shaking my head slowly. I grab my keys off the counter and motion to her with one arm. "I got your bag, let's get in the car."

"No, I'm not in labor, Aaron. I don't even hurt. Calm down. Just stay calm. I'm not in labor."

I point at the wet patch on my jeans. "Max! _Your water broke_!"

Max shakes her head. "I am _not _in labor. Therefore, I do not need help. I am not going to the hospital -_ow_!"

She doubles over, seething in pain, her fingers gripping her swollen stomach. She pushes out a strained breath between her teeth, and when I step forward, she grabs the closest thing to her - a plastic spatula.

"Max, you're-"

"If you say I'm in labor, I will make good use of this spatula. It's just…a cramp."

I stare at her for a silent five seconds, then shake my head. "I'm calling Fang."

Max grits her teeth and shakes her head violently. "No, no. Don't. It's not time yet. It'll pass, Aaron - oh, _fuck_…"

I drop the bag and move around the counter, wrapping my arm around her. "Breathe. Slow. Don't you dare pass out on me."

Max closes her eyes, struggling to breathe in and out.

"Do I need to coach your breathing?" I ask, unsure.

Max grunts, looking at me furiously. "If you hee-hee-hoo at me right now, I will smack you."

I nod, stroking her hair. "Okay. Okay. Do you want to sit down? Lay down?"

"Nooo!" Max howls, closing her eyes. "_Oh, God_! No, I want to stand. Or walk. Oh, my fucking hell-"

I try desperately to remember what the water breaking tells me about what stage of labor she's in, but I can't recall a single helpful fact from that damn baby book. Instead, I start dialing Fang. It rings twice and then I'm sent to voicemail.

Right. Because he's still pissed.

Shit, shit, _shit_.

Max is slowly walking around the kitchen island, both hands clamped on the counter with a death-grip. I dial Fang again and get nothing, so I desert that plan. I call Val.

"Hello?"

"Max is in labor and I have no idea what I'm doing," I say urgently.

Dr. Martinez responds calmly, completely in control. Good to know at least one of us is good at keeping their shit together.

"How far apart are her contractions?" she asks.

"I-I, uh, honestly I haven't really noticed a gap. She just keeps cursing and holding her stomach and her water broke about two minutes ago-"

"Aaron, you need to get her to the hospital. I'm leaving now, I'll meet you there. Where's Fang?"

"Fuck if I know!" I exclaim, then realize who I'm talking to and try to correct my language. "Shit, sorry. _Shit_! Sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know where Fang is."

"Take a deep breath, Aaron."

I do, slowly, dragging my hand through my hair. I think I'm sweating through my shirt. I'm so not cut out for this shit.

"Max is going to have this baby soon. I need you to get her to the hospital. I'll keep trying to reach Fang; you focus on keeping Max calm and getting her to her doctor. Okay?"

"Okay."

She hangs up before I can beg her to stay on the line and coach me through this, and I slip my phone into my pocket, approaching Max. She looks to be at a break in the contractions, now, and she stares up at me from under heavy lids.

"Listen," I say calmly, pushing back her sweaty hair. "I know you want Fang here. Fuck, _I _want Fang here. But it's just you and me, and if you don't get in the car right now to go to the hospital, I am going to have to birth your kid."

Max's eyebrows furrow.

"So, unless you want me to get to know you _really well_-"

Max nods, not needing to hear any more. Her face transforms, and her look of defiance and terror changes into firm determination.

"Fine," Max whispers. "Fine, but only because I don't really want you between my legs, ever."

I nod slowly, reaching down for the bag again. I take her arm and lead her slowly out of the house, helping her down the steps. We get all the way to my car and I open the passenger door, reaching down to adjust the seat.

"Do you have enough room?" I ask, helping Max ease into the passenger seat. "Is that okay?"

Max nods, leaning back against the seat. "Thanks, Aaron. Sorry I'm being so horrible."

I smile at her, squeezing her hand briefly. "It's okay."

"It's really not that bad. I just-" she cuts off for a second, gasping. "I just…can't…understand…why anyone would do this _more than once_!"

Worry surges through me and I bend down to get face level with her, unsure what to do in this situation.

"What?"

The blood drains from Max's face suddenly, and fear makes my chest tighten. Something's wrong. Something's wrong already and we're half an hour from the hospital and I have no idea what the actual fuck I'm doing-

"Oh, my God - I can't do this."

I freeze. "What?"

She shoves me with one hand and I stumble back. In the next second, she is struggling her way out of the car, gripping the door for support.

"I'm not doing this. I quit."

She clumsily makes her way across the gravel driveway, grunting.

"Max?"

"I'm not doing it, Aaron! I refuse!"

"What?" I follow her, grabbing her elbow when I'm close. Not too hard to catch up with a pregnant woman. "Max, get back in the car."

"No!" Max insists. "I can't, Aaron. I'm not ready. Fang was supposed to be with me… I was supposed to have a whole month left…_I'm not ready_."

_She's scared. _It hits me, really hits me, that Max truly doesn't think she's ready. That she's terrified, terrified of acknowledging that this is real and happening. She's terrified to do it alone.

"Max, I know you're scared," I say quietly. "I know. But I also know that you are the strongest woman I've ever known, and I _know _you can do this."

Max starts crying again, quietly this time. Tears roll down her cheeks and I smear them away with my thumb, and when that's not enough my entire palm, using my other hand to stroke up and down her arm caringly. She needs to stay calm. I pull her into me and she shakes in my arms - I haven't held her like this since we lost Fang. I've only ever seen Max cry three times in my entire life, and this right here is the fourth.

"And I know you wanted Fang with you," I add quietly into her hair. "But…I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you until Fang is by your side. Okay?"

Max nods into my shoulder, sniffling. She pulls back and wipes roughly under her eyes, looking up at me. "Thanks for being here with me. If you'd have left with Fang, I…"

I smile down at her, holding her biceps as I look at her. "I know. Thank God for Aaron. You can buy me a fruit basket later. Get in the car before you change your mind again, okay?"

I help her lower herself into the passenger seat again and throw the hospital bag in the back seat. I slide into the driver's seat and look at her. She stares back, wide-eyed and nervous. She has one hand gripping the seat beneath her, the other on her distended belly. She looks like she's braving herself for the next contraction.

As I buckle up, I wonder how far dilated she is and if I'm going to have to run a few red lights to get her to the hospital on time. I really didn't want to deliver the baby alone at the house, but I definitely don't want to deliver the baby in the backseat of my car.

"Okay?"

She hesitates. "I think so."

"Are you buckled?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"A fruit basket?" she asks finally. "Really?"

I snort, turning the key in the ignition. "No. Maybe a pizza."

Max laughs, but it's a bit more high-pitched than usual. My radio wakes up and starts playing the CD that was in. Max looks at me in surprise.

"Is this…that Indie group Nudge likes?"

I nod, turning it down. She's a lot calmer now than she was two minutes ago, so I go along with it. Anything to keep her from having a panic attack. "I was checking it out. They're not that bad. I got her tickets for Christmas. Don't tell her."

"I won't." I pull out of the driveway, trying to do the math in my head. It's about thirty minutes to the hospital from their house. Max pretended to _not _be in labor for about seven, and then it took maybe five to get her in the car…

"I need to call Fang," Max realizes suddenly. She reaches for my phone, but I stop her.

"Your mom's on it. He was sending me to voicemail. Probably thought that I was calling to talk to him about your fight or something."

Max groans. "What if he ignores my mom, too?"

I chew the inside of cheek. "Once he sees it's Dr. M calling, he'll know it's important."

_Hopefully_.

Max nods, I think trying to convince herself that I'm right. I look both ways and pull onto the main road, doing nearly fifteen over the speed limit. Max doesn't even tell me to slow down. In fact, when her next contraction hits, she tells me to go faster.

"It's okay," I repeat over and over, letting her squeeze the circulation out of my hand. "It's okay, Max. We're almost there."

Max releases my hand to hold onto her stomach with both palms. "No we aren't! We still have…twenty minutes and-" she cuts off into a strained hiss, her eyes screwing shut.

"Don't push!" I say stupidly, thinking I probably should've put a towel or something under her. Max glares at me, fresh fury in her eyes.

"I'm not pushing," Max grounds out. She goes through a few more teeth-clenching, shrilly-sounding waves of pain and then grunts, "Pull over."

"What?"

"Pull over! I need to walk!"

"No, Max," I say, mostly because I'm on the highway. "No, you're okay; we'll be there in a little bit."

"I need to get up Aaron! It fucking hurts, pull _over_!"

I shake my head stubbornly, hoping I'm doing the right thing by refusing. Best if I get her to the hospital. I'm not delivering this baby. Hell fucking no.

"It's going to hurt, Max. I'm sorry. Break my hand if you have to but I need you to keep breathing and just stay calm. I'm not pulling over."

"Break your hand? I'm going to _kill _you!" Max says in dismay, punching my arm with all her might.

"Ow! Fuck! Stop it!"

She does it again and I reach out blindly toward her, trying to keep my eyes on the road. I try to grab her wrist but she moves her arm at the last second and punches me again, in the same exact spot.

"Stop! Max, do you want me to wreck?"

"I want you to pull over! Holy _shit_, ow," she groans. "I really need to walk, Aaron. Please."

"No," I say, and then spin on her furiously when she hits me again. "Max, calm the _fuck _down or I will knock you out just so you'll _shut up_!"

As soon as I get us to the hospital, I'm pulling up in front of the doors and I leave the car running. Max is nearly delirious now, steady, dry sobs wracking her body as she hisses, "Don't ever have sex, Aaron. It's bad. Very bad."

"Okay, Max, I'll keep that in mind," I say soothingly, walking her into the ER. As soon as we get inside, I look at the nurse at the desk. "Max Ride. Maybe you've heard of her. She's in labor."

• • •

MAX

"You're doing so well, Max," Mom says calmly, smiling at me. The pain is actually overwhelming everything else right now, so her smile seems a little sadistic. "How do you feel?"

"I want drugs. Please."

Mom shakes her head, her eyes sympathetic. "It's too late for the epidural, honey. We don't have time."

"Mom, anything. Seriously. I would take a fucking Advil right now, _please_."

"Your mom's right," Cathy says regretfully. "But you're doing wonderfully, Max. Everything looks really good."

"Mom," I pant, closing my eyes. "Did you get a hold of Fang?"

"I did," Mom says with a smile. "He's on his way."

"Good. Good. Maybe he'll knock me out so I can die in my _fucking _sleep instead of this agony."

I close my eyes and try to pretend it doesn't feel like my son is trying to kill me from the inside out. I can hear Cathy discussing with the other doctors - one is my mom, who isn't trained for this but _is _well-versed in my medical history. She's here just to catch whatever Cathy doesn't notice that may be abnormal for me. And she's here because she's my mom.

The other doctor is a man I've only met twice. Cathy's right hand man, as she explained him to me, and he's here in case Cath thinks she needs more than four hands on deck for this delivery. I'm hoping to God all he has to do is stand back and watch.

The door bursts open and in a blur of powder blue someone is next to me, grabbing my hands in theirs, kissing my knuckles. I look up to see Fang, sweating slightly, eyes searching my face.

"Hi. I love you," he says. I start laughing and crying at the same time, pulling him closer. I kiss him and then let my head fall back against the pillow again, panting in pain.

"I thought you weren't going to make it," I gush, wiping my eyes shakily. "Our son is beating the shit out of me right now."

Fang beams, touching my cheek. "I'm sorry for fighting. Do you want your hair up?"

"Please," I groan, leaning my head forward. Fang reaches around and ties it up with a rubber band he got at the front desk. I lean back against, shifting uncomfortably. He checks with me, asks me if I want water or for him to blow on my face or if I need a back rub. I shake my head, running my fingers gingerly over my bump. I take a good, long look at him. Despite the obvious windedness of his breathing, I can tell he hates having his wings constricted in the scrubs. He's itching to get out of this hospital. And there's a huge bruise forming on his forehead.

"What did you do to your head?" I ask, reaching up to turn his chin so I can look at it.

Fang scoffs, still grinning. "Me? You mean what did _you _do?"

I scrunch up my nose and whisper, "Ooh, the chair?"

Fang nods.

"I'm so sorry!"

He kisses my forehead. "I know. Me too. How do you feel?"

"I didn't get the epidural," I say. "I wasn't here in time."

Fang frowns, stroking back a few strands he missed when he pulled my hair up. "I know. Aaron told me you procrastinated for a while before he could get you in the car."

"I was so scared," I whisper. "I thought we had more time."

"I know," Fang says, still stroking back my hair gently. "But I also know you. You can do anything."

The fear is ebbing slightly, just from having my right hand man with me again, but it's not gone. The complete nightmare of childbirth is coming whether I'm ready or not, and I'm not exactly a normal case.

I look at him guiltily. "I never finished the baby book."

Fang smiles crookedly. "It's okay. I did."

"I know you did," I say. Another round of contractions begins and I sit up, panting. "Fang…Fang, I'm freaking out."

"I know," Fang says soothingly.

"Quit saying you _fucking _know everything!" I howl.

His fingers travel behind my head, massaging my neck muscles.

"We're almost ready for you to push, Max," Cathy says. "You're doing so good, sweetheart! So good. Perfect."

"Fang, what if something's wrong with him?"

"He's going to be perfect, Max," Fang says gently. "It's okay."

I take his hand in mine and try to bring his strength and surety into me.

"Let's have a baby."

• • •

_One Week Later_

I slowly open the front door, poking my head into the house.

"Knock, knock!"

"Max!"

I grin at the sound of running feet and shuffling bodies. I step fully inside, letting the door fall shut behind me. It feels good to be home.

"They're home!" Nudge cries, running down the stairs first. She stops right in front of me, as do the others. They all look around, as if I'm hiding the baby behind my back or something.

"Where is he?"

I roll my eyes. "Seriously? Hey to you, too."

Then I'm consumed in a group hug, everyone squeezing and patting and kissing my cheeks and forehead. 

Once they're all done, Nudge rocks onto her toes and says excitedly. "Okay! _So_, where is he?"

I roll my eyes. I reach around, open the front door again, and reveal Fang. He looks up from the little bundle in his arms and smirks lightly at the others.

"Hey, everybody. Who wants to meet my son?"

The others rush forward, already cooing and peering down at him, and I move over to Iggy, who hasn't moved.

"He looks exactly like Fang, if you can believe it," I say. "I go through all the trouble and the kid doesn't even look like me."

Iggy wraps me up in a real hug and I squeeze him to me, hard.

"She's lying," Fang says, moving through the mass of kids to sit on the couch. He can hold the baby in practically one hand, but for now he's being careful - cradling him like glass. "He's got her eyes."

I roll my eyes and lean against Ig's shoulder. "Now _he's _lying. He's barely even opened them - he sleeps a lot."

Fang grins. "Nah. He opened them for me."

"Little baby Tyler," Emma coos, leaning over Fang's shoulder from behind the couch. "God, he's so cute."

"So everything went okay at the hospital?" Ig asks, rubbing my side gently.

"Yeah. Of course, everyone was being cautious, so we had to stay for a while longer. His wings are perfect. He's pretty well developed, for being a month early. Mom thinks fetal development was sped up only a little bit due to our jacked DNA."

"And you?" Nudge asks, looking up long enough from the baby in Fang's arms to show her concern.

"Good. Record-breaking recovery time. No horror story for me. No irreversible damage. I didn't break any bones - except maybe one in Aaron's hand."

"Yeah, he said he'd be here," Holden says, sinking into one of the recliners. "Not sure where he is."

"Where's Mom?" Ella asks, stroking my son's tiny, curled fist. He wrinkles his nose and stretches against Fang's hold, his legs kicking spasmodically against his blanket. Angel's tinkling laugh follows immediately.

"She got plenty of baby time at the hospital. She decided to give you guys some time to hog him for a while."

"I swear, everything this kid does is cute," Nudge says dreamily, gently touching his small nose. His eyes flutter open at the touch and Nudge gasps. "He's awake! Hi, buddy!"

"Tell me that after your first diaper change," I say dryly.

Fang nods. "Amen."

Tyler makes a little "unh" sound, followed by an adorable gurgle. Everyone watches as he curls his fingers around his swaddling blanket and relaxes against Fang again. I squeeze my arm around Ig's torso, his still holding me in a half-hug.

"Tyler James," I say, looking over to see his face. Iggy's eyes brighten a little at that, his smiles growing to show white teeth. Ella says from across the room, "Aw. After Ig?"

I don't say anything, but Ig drops his arm from around me. "Can I hold him?"

I take him over to sit by Fang on the couch. Fang carefully passes the loosely wrapped bundle to Iggy, helping him cup Tyler's head and bottom. Iggy gently slips Tyler's head into the crook of his elbow.

"Wow, he's got a lot of hair," Iggy says, delicate fingers moving lightly over Tyler's head and face. "That's good. Bald babies freak me out."

The others begin to discuss just how Tyler looks like Fang, and I stand back and watch my family interact, content. A few minutes later, the front door opens and Aaron steps through, grinning widely and holding up a blue stuffed bulldog, two balloons, and a fleece blanket - white with brown and green dinosaurs on it.

"I come bearing gifts!" He says, plopping his armful of things into the empty chair by the door. "Sorry I missed your grand entrance."

"Wasn't that grand," I say, letting him squeeze me in a hard hug. "No one gave two shits about _me_."

"'Course not," Aaron says. "It's all about Tyler now."

I nod, glancing around the room. "I'm realizing that now, yeah."

Iggy's handed Tyler back to Fang now, who is totally hogging the baby. Aaron slips past me and drops down next to Angel on the couch, leaning over her to peer at the sleeping form resting in Fang's lap.

"Damn, he looks just like you, man," Aaron says, grinning. "Sucks for him."

Nudge laughs as she sidles up next to me, and Fang deserts his carefulness to remove one hand from holding Tyler. Said free hand slams into Aaron's shoulder.

"Look at him, Max," Nudge whispers, leaning against me. She's still looking at Tyler, but I slide my eyes over to the kids on the couch and can only really look at Fang. I grin watching him, his head ducked to stare down at our son. To think Fang worried about being a dad is completely nonsensical - especially looking at him now.

"Well, I think he's adorable," I say to Aaron's comment, kissing Nudge's hair before moving to stand closer.

Aaron rolls his eyes. "You would."

I kick his leg and he laughs, shrugging. "Yeah. He's pretty cute, I guess."

Directly following Aaron's compliment, Tyler bursts out with a sudden cry, his face screwed up unhappily.

"Give him here," I say, reaching out.

Fang rolls his eyes. "I can calm him down, too. Almost better than you."

"Almost is the key word," I say in retort. "He's hungry. You gonna do that, too?"

Fang squints up at me, but there's no malice behind it. Fang takes a finger and presses his knuckle between Tyler's curled lips. He immediately latches on, suckling quietly, before he realizes that it isn't food.

"Told you," I say, scooping up the still-fussing baby. "He'll always like me better," I say, sticking my tongue out at Fang as I walk towards the stairs.

"We'll see!"

As soon as I open the door to our bedroom, I can see the furniture that the kids must've set up for us. The white rocking chair in the corner, the bassinet by the bed, and a decent sized crib where the bedside table on Fang's side used to be.

I pull the blanket off the side of the crib and prop myself up on my side of the bed, cradling Tyler with one arm. I get us situated, trying to find a comfortable position. Tyler has resorted to quiet, short demands, waiting for me to hurry up and feed him already. His hand curls into a small fist and rubs against his closed eyes in frustration.

"Bear with me, bud," I mumble, getting frustrated with my shirt and just yanking it off. "I'm new at this, too." I use my free hand to unhook my bra and drop it to the floor. Then I sit back, pull the blanket up underneath him, and carefully try to latch him on right the first time.

"Is that good?" I ask, but I can tell I didn't do it right. Tyler tries, but it doesn't feel right, and the pull hurts, so I remove his mouth and try again. After three tries and many mental curses and self-insults on my part, I finally do it right. Tyler blinks up at me until his eyelids fall heavily, and he slips into a soothingly rhythm of thirsty sucking.

The bedroom door opens and Fang comes in, closing the door carefully behind him. He drops my hospital bag by the hamper and then goes around to his side of the bed, scooting next to me.

"Lucky little guy," Fang says, leaning his head against the headboard next to mine. His fingers rub gently against my naked back, right between my shoulder blades. It feels incredible, and I sigh in appreciation. Fang peers down at Tyler, grinning. "They're pretty great, aren't they?" he jokes, in reference to my sore and swollen chest. I elbow him half-heartedly, not enough to stir Tyler from feeding.

"Was it easier this time?" Fang asks, still rubbing my neck and shoulders.

"A little," I say. "Took me a few tries, but…we're figuring it out."

Tyler is still staring up at me drowsily, his hand pressed to my breast near his mouth. I rub my thumb against the soft skin of his arm just as the intense feeling of pins and needles surges through my breasts. Before I can do anything about it, an involuntary stream of milk dribbles down my stomach.

Mom explained at the hospital that let-down reflex is normal, and every woman goes through it. It doesn't stop me from being embarrassed, though. Fang just kisses my temple and reaches over towards the bassinet, grabbing the burping towel there. He swipes it against my stomach and unoccupied breast, then lays it over my shoulder.

"Thanks. I have to burp him," I murmur, pulling him off gently. His lips curl into an O and he swallows, his tongue curling and poking out for a moment. He blinks up at me again, and I grin. I lift him up and rub his back, patting him gently. A soft, thick burp leaves him with a hiccup, and he presses his face into my chest again, his small fingers pinching my skin slightly. "Mn," he cries, rubbing his nose against my skin.

"Okay, okay," I say. "Patience."

With the added pressure of Fang watching me, I switch Ty to my other arm and latch him onto my other breast. Thankfully, the first try takes, and Tyler begins to relax again. I glance over at Fang and he grins tiredly at me, leaning over to kiss me on the lips once.

"He'll be done in a minute," I murmur, resting my head on his shoulder. "I need a shower. You want to put him down?"

Fang nods, slipping his arm out from behind me and getting off the bed. He looks over the crib, grabbing the sides and shaking it. He puts some of his weight on it.

"I think it's fine, Fang," I say. "Anyways, he'll probably sleep in the bassinet for the first few weeks anyways."

"Wish I'd had time to put them up," Fang says. "They seem sturdy, though."

"Yeah, Nudge assured me they didn't leave out any important screws," I say, smirking. Fang just gives the same endurance test to the bassinet.

After handing Tyler over and cleaning myself up, I slip my shirt back on and move into the bathroom. I haven't had a decent shower in a week - especially since showering at the hospital is not extremely accommodating. I'm not saying our shower is huge, but it's big enough for me to extend my wings at least partially. The corner shower in the hospital was excessively constricting for my taste.

Once I'm out and changed, I head downstairs to see the others all still hanging out in the living room.

"Where's Fang?" I ask, looking around.

"He hasn't come back yet," Angel says.

I frown, looking towards the stairs. Was he having trouble with putting Tyler down? Usually he wasn't very difficult to put to bed…

I turn and move up to our room again, slipping in quietly. The lights are out, the blinds are drawn closed, and Fang is just sitting on my side of the bed, his eyes focused on the still form in the bassinet.

I don't say anything as I sit down next to him. I lean against his shoulder, sighing, and Fang's hand slides over onto my thigh.

"I could watch him forever and not get bored," I say quietly finally, closing my eyes.

Fang responds, "He may not like that when he's older."

"Oh, God," I groan. "Don't talk about him growing up."

Fang just smirks.

"I'm serious, Fang. I don't want him to grow up. He'll be just like Gazzy - a rotten preteen who pretends not to love me."

Fang nods. "Yeah. But…I think it's worth it anyways."

I sit up and pull Fang's chin so he's looking at me. I smile at him, slipping my fingers down the back of his neck. "I love you, Fang."

Fang raises an eyebrow. "Really? After everything?"

I smile at him.

Fang leans forward and cups my face with his hands, his middle finger catching on my earlobe and his thumb running over the rise of my cheekbone.

"Yeah," I respond quietly. "I must be crazy to love you."

"I must be crazy to deal with your crazy."

"God, poor Tyler."

"Two psycho parents," Fang continues. "What were we thinking?"

I grin at him, then back at our son, sleeping peacefully two feet away.

"I think it was worth it, anyways."


End file.
